[jewblog]

real

[truelovevip-deactivated20190324]

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

[jewblog]

hm. remembering (recognizing?) right when i decide i'm okay with not remembering is just par for the course atp isn't it

[jewblog]

anyway i'm once again annoyed that exercise feels exactly as good as people say. like i've been too sick to actually do it for a while but now that i've been able to drag my sad little body over to the nustep for a few days it's like have you guys heard of this endorphins stuff? craazyyy drug

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Daydreaming a story idea about someone adopted as a young child who comes of age to realize they have been raised, and loved, by the villains. And they're the survivor of a massacre their adoptive parents committed.

Just. A fun thought idea.

We love divided loyalties...

[ashintheairlikesnow]

The slow realization that they have been loved not like a child, but as a trophy. But it was love nonetheless. Wasn't it?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Moses - Wikipedia

[faulsimon]

how do you feel about your hometown

love it/never wanna leave (still live there)

mid/whatever (still live there)

hate it (still live there)

love it/miss it (don't live there)

mid/whatever (don't live there)

hate it/good riddance (don't live there)

im bald

Remaining time: 4 days 18 hours

saw a post that made me wonder this. please tag with your thoughts im curious!!

[jewblog]

you know. everything in my life right now is new and scary but i am so very excited to get to be real friends with my former yiddish professor and to collaborate with her on a project iyh while living in a city she frequently visits. that's actually so good and exciting kinaynahara

[luna-azzurra]

If you're a new writer and you're asking yourself "is this too personal, is this too much, will people think this is weird" that feeling is the exact location of your actual voice. The stuff that makes you want to close the laptop is the stuff nobody else could write. The safe version is always worse. Always. I have never once read something and thought "this would have been better if it was a little less honest." go further. It's always go further.

[daftpatience]

trying to be an active mutual feels like this some of times

[jewblog]

every single year i am newly upset that my personal issues do not unfold in line with the jewish calendar

[jewblog]

lol i literally did not have anything to worry about. the person i was meeting with about my internship responded to my extremely reasonable self-advocacy in a normal and good way 👍

[jewblog]

i am allowed to do things that make people mad at me. i am allowed to send awkward, stilted emails. i am allowed to turn down opportunities that i don't feel good about even if it makes things more inconvenient for other people. i am allowed to be categorically indisputably stubborn and inflexible in order to get where i need to go. grrrrrrr

[jewblog]

hm. so i didn't really get what ppl meant about Releasing Trauma From The Body but i do think that's what happened on ketamine last night? so weird. weirder still is that i basically came full-circle on the autism thing bc after letting go of all the shame terror trauma etc i was basically like yeah i think my earlier position on psychiatric diagnoses was actually right & not contingent on me not being able to call myself autistic even if i wanted to. i can now i just don't wanna. which like yeah that was probably a thing i needed to go through for a lot of reasons (being able to accommodate sensory stuff & do things that feel good w/o panicking and losing my mind; being secure in my own views of reality; not carrying a whole lot of bad stuff with me) but it feels weird to end up back where i started but also different but also maybe i am the only one who can really see how i am different? i think this is what the hero's journey is about or something

[jewblog]

wow i wish i knew how to express my enjoyment of things bc this show is very good and i like it a lot :-)

[jewblog]

okay i need to go back to forcing myself to watch tv shows & read comics i like & maybe even posting about them, i think that was good for me

[jewblog]

anyway i think she Was lowkey doing diy aba on me but possibly the most infuriating thing she would do is try to correct physical differences? like my feet splay out somewhat due to physical stuff (hip issues, knee issues) so she would try to force me to walk with them straight which was extremely painful. and she would say Straight Feet Straight Feet Straight Feet. unhinged evil woman. but also like of course she would do that lmao. and i got more angry about this than anything else of the same flavor bc to my mind this was Actually unreasonable bc it was Actually not my fault but it was in fact exactly the same as everything else

[jewblog]

well okay so my problem is basically that i need to get less repressed in honestly almost every conceivable way but unfortunately: there's the repression