i,m a homunculus' sir

@jimkinnz

back off my nuts•

2,483 posts

Extraterrestrial wizards keep mocking my looking glass at the top of my wizard tower by coming just into my viewing range, flipping me off, and then flying away. Someday I’ll get a better telescope so I can track where they’re going and then I will shoot a beam attack at them.

I sell very high-quality telescopes, and at cut-rate prices, too! Come by and prepare your revenge!!!

Now I may not be able to see why kids love the great taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but I can see that is clearly a scam.

it,s the swirls of cinnamon sugar' unky gavamont¡

my naym is jim

and on sunday

and master has

gone out to play

in lab I get

ridiculous

make facts about

homuncuIus

iamb numzy

wouldn’’t you know

my master did

happen to go

so in his lab

I mess around

making a new

‘munculus clown

gavamont-clone-1

I'm gavamont

Or clone of one

And though you guys

Are having fun

I warn you now

That danger's nigh

For ratazom

Is on the fly

oh shit nummzy' hide the makeup¡

I useded permanent marker¡!¡!

it’’s not coming offfffff¡!¡!

I sure hope the homunculi are playing nice in the lab and not writing poetry or putting on a circus...

JIMKINNZ!!!!!!!!!!

(⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠;⁠)

Oh, glad I caught you, I was just swinging by to pick up my Numzy. I’m sure he had a great time.

yes¡ very fun¡ don,t mind the spots•••

my naym is jim

and on sunday

and master has

gone out to play

in lab I get

ridiculous

make facts about

homuncuIus

iamb numzy

wouldn’’t you know

my master did

happen to go

so in his lab

I mess around

making a new

‘munculus clown

gavamont-clone-1

I'm gavamont

Or clone of one

And though you guys

Are having fun

I warn you now

That danger's nigh

For ratazom

Is on the fly

oh shit nummzy' hide the makeup¡

I useded permanent marker¡!¡!

it’’s not coming offfffff¡!¡!

I sure hope the homunculi are playing nice in the lab and not writing poetry or putting on a circus...

JIMKINNZ!!!!!!!!!!

(⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠;⁠)

my naym is jim

and on sunday

and master has

gone out to play

in lab I get

ridiculous

make facts about

homuncuIus

iamb numzy

wouldn’’t you know

my master did

happen to go

so in his lab

I mess around

making a new

‘munculus clown

gavamont-clone-1

I'm gavamont

Or clone of one

And though you guys

Are having fun

I warn you now

That danger's nigh

For ratazom

Is on the fly

oh shit nummzy' hide the makeup¡

my naym is jim

and on sunday

and master has

gone out to play

in lab I get

ridiculous

make facts about

homuncuIus

#homunculus #homunculus facts #wizardposting #alchemy #unreality #bredlik

I kind of think I don't use my shapeshifting abilities as much as I should, and I want to branch out and spend more time in other forms. I'm kind of indecisive, though, so I've started a poll for what I should try turning myself into:

For the next 24 hours after this poll closes, I will be a(n)...

Catamaran

Chess set

Hadrosaur fursuit (is "fursuit" still the right term if it's not furry?)

Inflatable swimming pool

Klein bottle

LEGO castle

Miniature roller coaster

Punching bag

Sierpiński pyramid (or the best approximation I can manage)

Squid

Swarm of (relatively) giant (but still kinda small) tardigrades

Very long hose

Voting ended onJul 22

I know "slimeball" is usually supposed to be a big insult, but I mean as a shapeshifting slime sometimes I think it's fun to be a ball and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

you know' it,s very much the same for me when people say „oh so·and·so isn,t a real xyz„

like' being real is pretty overrated•

I mean... I was created in a vat by an evil wizard; does that mean I'm not real? I don't think "real" is synonymous with "natural". I say you're as real as you want to be.

yeah i know• that,s why i,m not real•

A wizard that has their secret lair hidden within a mid ocean buoy. You may think it is a marker for the end of the continental shelf, but that is more accurately the tip of a metaphorical iceberg.

Just like a literal iceberg, the vast majority of his lair is beneath the waves. It gives him more room for wizardly activities, like cursed sea cucumber harvesting, kissing boys, observing kraken migration, cultivating rare sea salts, and many other magical functions.

I can't help but feel that he has rather more unwizardly motivations for one of these listed activities...

Fine, it’s true, the sea salts are for culinary pursuits and selling at farmers markets. Nothing wizardly about the salts at all.

well not with that attitude• i once made a very nice heaIth potion for one of my fellow homunculi with some „himalayan pink salt„ i got at a burIington coat factory•

wait' what was that about boy kissing¿

Kissing boys can be very magical.

gavamont-clone-1

No wizard worth his salt would doubt that powerful axiom

Boys and buoys is a magical combination.

I know "slimeball" is usually supposed to be a big insult, but I mean as a shapeshifting slime sometimes I think it's fun to be a ball and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

you know' it,s very much the same for me when people say „oh so·and·so isn,t a real xyz„

like' being real is pretty overrated•

It lives in the arcade and leaves sticky little footprints on the linoleum. Naming it Gumble

#magical creatures

A wizard that has their secret lair hidden within a mid ocean buoy. You may think it is a marker for the end of the continental shelf, but that is more accurately the tip of a metaphorical iceberg.

Just like a literal iceberg, the vast majority of his lair is beneath the waves. It gives him more room for wizardly activities, like cursed sea cucumber harvesting, kissing boys, observing kraken migration, cultivating rare sea salts, and many other magical functions.

I can't help but feel that he has rather more unwizardly motivations for one of these listed activities...

Fine, it’s true, the sea salts are for culinary pursuits and selling at farmers markets. Nothing wizardly about the salts at all.

well not with that attitude• i once made a very nice heaIth potion for one of my fellow homunculi with some „himalayan pink salt„ i got at a burIington coat factory•

wait' what was that about boy kissing¿

A wizard that has their secret lair hidden within a mid ocean buoy. You may think it is a marker for the end of the continental shelf, but that is more accurately the tip of a metaphorical iceberg.

Just like a literal iceberg, the vast majority of his lair is beneath the waves. It gives him more room for wizardly activities, like cursed sea cucumber harvesting, kissing boys, observing kraken migration, cultivating rare sea salts, and many other magical functions.

I can't help but feel that he has rather more unwizardly motivations for one of these listed activities...

Fine, it’s true, the sea salts are for culinary pursuits and selling at farmers markets. Nothing wizardly about the salts at all.

well not with that attitude• i once made a very nice heaIth potion for one of my fellow homunculi with some „himalayan pink salt„ i got at a burIington coat factory•

homuncuIus facts¡

i spent the last two weeks in the forest of of lost posts•

it was dark and scary but i am very brave•

now i return to you with this important new homuncuIus fact;

snibbwiggs the homuncuIus is fake and gay•

like many homunculi' really•

we,re artificial lifeforms and we don,t conform to social mores easily•

• iamb scared of thať first because sometimes a copy of me shows up there and mooves the same as me•

real quiet from you on the snibbwiggs news•••

He tries not to concern himself with what is fake and gay. He only wants what is real and gay.

He's literally a homuncuIus

Yes, but let him dream.

homuncuIus facts¡

i spent the last two weeks in the forest of of lost posts•

it was dark and scary but i am very brave•

now i return to you with this important new homuncuIus fact;

snibbwiggs the homuncuIus is fake and gay•

like many homunculi' really•

we,re artificial lifeforms and we don,t conform to social mores easily•

• iamb scared of thať first because sometimes a copy of me shows up there and mooves the same as me•

real quiet from you on the snibbwiggs news•••

homuncuIus facts¡

i spent the last two weeks in the forest of of lost posts•

it was dark and scary but i am very brave•

now i return to you with this important new homuncuIus fact;

snibbwiggs the homuncuIus is fake and gay•

like many homunculi' really•

we,re artificial lifeforms and we don,t conform to social mores easily•

#homunculus #homunculus facts #wizardposting #unreality #alchemy

Okay, so a biped has two legs and a quadruped has three and a hexapod has six, but I mean when I just release my form and let myself spread into a puddle I don't have any legs, so does that make me a... zeroped? Nopod? Niliped?

it depends• if you are stationary when your form is released, then no „pedal„ adverb is necessary' you,re just a puddle• and a damn fine one,•

if you move by pushing one part of your mass forward and then the rest follows' then you use facultative pseudopedal locomotion•

if your whole mass advances at once by magic' i think that,s just called oozing locomotion•

So wait if there are four copies of me and they're all in shapeless liquid form does that make me a quadrupuddle?

yes• that maths out•

Okay, so a biped has two legs and a quadruped has three and a hexapod has six, but I mean when I just release my form and let myself spread into a puddle I don't have any legs, so does that make me a... zeroped? Nopod? Niliped?

it depends• if you are stationary when your form is released, then no „pedal„ adverb is necessary' you,re just a puddle• and a damn fine one,•

if you move by pushing one part of your mass forward and then the rest follows' then you use facultative pseudopedal locomotion•

if your whole mass advances at once by magic' i think that,s just called oozing locomotion•

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