I don’t have a hard time believing this.
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NASA
we're not kids anymore.

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
YOU ARE THE REASON

⁂

Kaledo Art
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

pixel skylines
Claire Keane
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Not today Justin
Three Goblin Art
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Today's Document
$LAYYYTER

Andulka

tannertan36
sheepfilms

Origami Around
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@jinafirelong
I don’t have a hard time believing this.
english: coconut oil
french: :)
english: oh boy
french: oil of the nut of the coco
IM CRYINGNFN
english: ninety-nine
french: :)
english: oh no
french: four-twenty-ten-nine
english: potato
french: :)
english: oh geez
french: apple of the earth
french: papillon
english: :)
french: don’t
english: beurremouche
French: pamplemousse English: :) French: pls no English: raisinfruit
english: squirrel
german: :)
english: oh dear
german: oak croissant
english: helicopter german: :) english: uh oh german: lifting screwdriver
english: toes
spanish: :)
english: no don’t
spanish : fingers of the feet
english: bowl
spanish: :)
english: oh lordy
spanish: deep plate
english: car
polish: :)
english: i changed my mind
polish: that which walks by itself
french: coccinelle
UK english: ladybird!
american english: ladybug
french: weird
dutch: :)
french: …what
dutch: the good lord’s little animal
french: …ok
irish, polish and russian: *giggling*
french: …just tell me
irish, polish and russian: GOD’S SMALL COW
English: jellyfish Japanese: :) English: what yo got Japan Japanese: ~*~*o c e a n m o o n*~*~
English: gloves Dutch: :) English: omg what now Dutch: hand shoes
English: porcupine Dutch: :) English: … please, no Dutch: sting pig
JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER
English: Poppy
Dutch: :)
English: … tell me
Dutch: Clap rose
English: dragon
Finnish: :)
English: for fuck’s sake
Finnish: salmon snake
english: dragon
asl: :D!
english: tell me?
asl: SPICY DINOSAUR
English: nap
Romanian: :)
English: huh?
Romanian: a baby of a sleep
@the-cloud-road
English: Giraffe
Latin: :D
English: what?
Latin: camelopardus!
English: In the middle of nowhere
Slovene: Behind God’s back
Serbian:
Serbian: Where wolves fuck
Polish:
Polish: where dogs bark with their asses
English: somewhere really far and isolated
Italian: :)
English: what now?
Italian: in the ass of the world
Welsh: hiraeth
English: :S
Welsh: …
English: a longing for something or somewhere which no longer exists, to which you can no longer return; the longing for the lost homeland of your ancestors, which you know only through blood and tradition, and will never feel under your feet
English: ladybird
Welsh: :) :) :) :) :) :)
English: look, you literally just made fun of me for my lexical limitations, why are you -
Welsh: little red cow :)
English: aw :)
Welsh: :)
There may be a day I do not reblog this post but today is not that day!!!
Sokka: Aang y'know how you took away Ozai’s firebending?
Aang: I recall yes
Sokka: can I have it
Aang: …what?
Sokka: can I have his firebending. just for like ten minutes
Aang: what no
Sokka: why not I wanna prank zuko
Aang:
Aang:
Aang: okay five minutes
This fukn post had me reeling so ofc I had to draw it
hi take everything I own
Reblog to be blessed by the Florence of happiness and magick.
Disney Princesses selfies in Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2.
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING MORE PRECIOUS IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE
https://twitter.com/disney_around/status/1030504483334176774
‘Krakatoa, a 75-pound, 7.5-foot long Komodo Dragon, celebrates his eighth birthday with fellow eight-year-olds from R.B. Hunt Elementary School at his enclosure at the St. Augustine Alligator Farm and Zoological Park in St. Augustine, Fla. The children sang Happy Birthday to the large lizard as he was presented with a meat cake topped with mice.’
with other eight year olds
I’ve reblogged this picture before, and it never hit me up until this…
But someone walked into work that morning, clocked in, and was told it was their job to go put the birthday hat on the Komodo Dragon.
dude i bet they fucken FOUGHT for the privilege of putting that hat on that dragon
The story of the Distant Goddess is absolute proof that it’s a crime that Ancient Egyptian mythology hasn’t entered the popular conciousness in the same way as Greek stuff.
Short, super paraphrased version: Ra is sick of humanity being rebellious wee bastards, so he sends a goddess as an embodiment of his vengeance, usually Sekhmet in the form of a great fuckoff lion - first to the southern deserts to wipe out the followers of Set. She does so, and then for unspecified reasons, Ra decides maybe humanity is redeemable hey call off the murderlion. But being an embodiment of pure divine retribution, she isn’t really having it.
So Ra sends Thoth out in an effort to soothe the goddess before she arrives in the north and wipes out everything including the gods (she’s just that strong). He’s terrified, but he tries all sorts of cunning and wisdom and trickery and tells her moral tales and all that, but all he can do is delay her.
In the meantime, Ra’s priests of the north are hard at work. They brew thousands of barrels of beer, and mix pots and pots red dye. And when the goddess inevitably arrives, they mix it up and pour it into the reeds of the nile. Believing it to be the spilled blood of her enemies, she drinks it up proudly… And gets EXTREMELY drunk, calming down and transforming into Hathor, goddess of joy and love.
And once a year to celebrate this momentous occasion, Egyptians would get Absolutely Plastered.
I didn’t find details on the exact date, but some cross-googling suggests the festival occured around the start of the Nile flood season, which is in mid-July.
Anyone got a more precise date?
Well, the traditional beginning of the flood season varies from year to year based on the first rise of the star Sirius before sunrise, and also marks the beginning of the ancient Egyptian new year. The Festival of Drunkenness would be held about 20 days after that.
Sirius’ rise - which varies around the world based on longitude, but basing it on Egypt for consistency’s sake - happens on the 24th of July in 2018.
So if you want to get smashed on behalf of an angry cat, the 13th of August is the day to mark down.
Today’s the day fuckers, get smashed on behalf of a cat.
It ain’t too late, mates
The festival was especially popular during the reign of the female Pharaoh Hatshepsut. There wasn’t just heavy drinking involved; there was also lots of boning.
In 2006, Betsy Bryan, an archaeologist with Johns Hopkins University excavating at the temple of Mut presented her findings about the festival that included illustrations of the priestesses being served to excess and its adverse effects being ministered to by temple attendants. Participation in the festival was great, including the priestesses and the population. Historical records of tens of thousands attending the festival exist. These findings were made in the temple of Mut because when Thebes rose to greater prominence, Mut absorbed some characteristics of Sekhmet. These temple excavations at Luxor discovered a “porch of drunkenness” built onto the temple by the Pharaoh Hatshepsut, during the height of her twenty-year reign.
More info about the goddess Sekhmet and her festival.
[image source]
…Huh, I never knew they were the same goddess.
so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count
holy f uck jane
its a serious question
well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.
new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing
no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.
you gotta digest it.
so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?
huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?
Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”
“you what now”
i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic
now that u said it im really surprised as well
what the fuck did i just read
Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?
I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.
I’m not convinced by this, actually!
Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”
But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:
“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”
“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”
“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”
Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.
The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.
(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)
Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.
And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”
Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years.
Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”
“you what now”
This is my favorite act of intellectual bugfuckery on this entire website, when I die I want someone to print this out and place it in my grave with me so I can cherish it forever.
her arms 😍
Link
Favorite Looks from Alexander McQueen ‘s Pre-Fall 2013
Keanu Reeves and Carl Marotte in publicity shots for the stage musical called WolfBoy in 1984
Pocket Camp has given me too much power
Disney Princesses with a little Desi twist 💫 Model: Hamel Patel
What’s up with dragons do they shed their skin? Do they feel all smooth and shiny and soft when they shed?
i’m 101% sure that this entire line was improv and tom couldn’t help it
“Yeah, that was basically, we did about six different versions of that story, and that was just us standing around while the cameras were rolling and I would just feed them lines and feed Chris ideas for stories. I’d say, “Do another one, in this one say: ‘I was walking through a field, and I saw a lovey Turkish rug in the middle of the grass, and I love Turkish rugs, so I went to stand on it, and it was Loki, and he turned back into Loki and there was a hole and I fell through the hole was was impaled on a whole lot of spikes.’” So we did versions of that, and the one with the snake just ended up being the one we used.” —Taika Waititi, Empire Magazine Podcast, 6/11/17, 00:23:25 (x)
AMAZING
I choose to beliee every version of this story is true
and is just a different tale of when Loki turned into something ridiculous
and tried to murder his brother
I don’t know what makes this funnier, the idea that Loki kept trying the same prank, or that Thor kept falling for it.
Thor: OH LOOK A PUPPY
Loki: WAAAAUUUGGGHHHHH
Thor: OH NO IT’S YOU AGAIN!
Now this is how you do a special edition! Available at Target stores. $25. Blu-ray and DVD combo. Limited edition poster and collector’s packaging. The packaging is quite nice and very well made. It gives off that retro feel of an old VHS you maybe found at a yard sell. It’s slightly bigger than a reap VHS tape, but still amazing. Sadly, no special features.