I'm Jodie!

simply a 27 year trans menace pronouns: she/her

[majinbuuuty]

What color are your nipples?

limited edition holographic

[wunkolo]

how did you get banned on soundcloud?

A month ago during the “soundcloud is going down” scare I wrote a script that basically downloaded my entire corner of SoundCloud at incredibly abusive speed and got bandwidth-banned for a month since CloudFlare detected it as a mass DDOS (which is fair I mean I was downloading like terabytes of data)

[wunkolo]

[fata-vocant]

the only essential oil is olive

[reaumantic]

i don’t lose hyperfixations they just go dormant until I hear something about it like a sleeper agent

[thatcupidmf]

Me, day dreaming about getting a tarot deck one day: gosh I’ve wanted one since I was yay high to a bottle of code red

Also me: I roast myself enough. Do I really need to hear about my bad life choices from sentient paper

[alexanders-archives]

Oh yeah but can a cis guy do this?

*washes hands with soap and water after using the restroom*

[dankmemeuniversity]

[mxbutchtwink]

*Calls out, “Hey, king. Are you single?” to the vaguely humanoid creature lurking at the base of the stairs*

[ashestoashesjc]

It thinks for a moment. 

“No,” it says finally. “I am many.”

I’ve never been more turned on. 

[stinkyhat-deactivated20231213]

i don't like you

[sistertaxon]

can you imagine tumblr when the queen dies. its gonna be like superhell night.

[marshal-mellow]

You fool. You Threadbare juggler. you idiotic knob.

The Queen does no such human thing, she has no weakness of that degree– unlike thee

Perish

[sistertaxon]

just because she's single now doesn't mean she's gonna fuck you

[bluehairedspidey]

happy 420

[totallygamerlife]

for anyone who cares, this is good news

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

whoever made the facebook shrimp emoji put their whole pussy into it and I salute them

[cannibal-rainbow]

Not shaving and not wearing make up are literally nonbehaviors. They’re a complete lack of action. But doing nothing is considered masculine because women are not allowed to just be. this goes double for trans women.

[cannibal-rainbow]

reblog this version because transmisogynists don’t know how to fuck off.

[fullmetalfisting]

Apparently when my grandma first came to America she didn’t know what a raccoon was and assumed it was a fucked up cat and adopted it. I just imagine this 13 yr old girl with a heavy Eastern European accent being like “this is my cat, Petr. He is not very friendly”

[homophobic-gay]

[fullmetalfisting]

Omg

[december-rains]

finally

it’s on my dash

[imaginedsoldier]

[equivocalities]

another way tumblr is winning the social media platform war right now is that the ads hosted on this website are absolutely indistinguishable from regular shit posts so it’s not ruining my scrolling experience at all

[blackedoutbanana]

[rattle-my-stars]