not finishing 100% of your personal projects or commitments is totally normal! please don’t let it discourage you from pursuing new ones! there are a dozen projects over the years I’ve committed to and almost immediately abandoned. i get embarrassed sometimes when I remember specific ones, but eventually you got to say fork it and move on
literally no creator, however successful or prolific or famous, has completed all or even a majority of the works they conceived. they all have notebooks of dozens, hundreds of ideas and concepts 90% of which will never see the light of day. and that’s okay!
the projects we don’t finish give us practice. and more practice leads to more and higher quality finished products. The act of creating is never a waste of time.
you will go for like three months with nothing happening and you’re bored as hell and then in the span of two weeks eight different things happen at once - some fantastic and some shitty and some just plain bonkers - and you’re just running around like a chicken with your head cut off and no clue what the fuck is going on
“When I was a teenager my dad gave me a 50 Euro bill, and he wrote a message to my future children. Something like: ‘For you, little one. From Grandpa.’ But my addiction was stronger than the gift. And I spent it on food. I kept a little trash can hidden in my closet. I’d use it five or six times a day. It was always about control. I couldn’t control much in my life, but I could control this. I had the power to make people worry about me. I had the power to make the numbers go down. Eventually my parents stopped keeping food at home. They put a lock on the fridge. My whole day was structured around food. I tracked everything I ate. And at some point in the day it would feel like too much, so I’d throw it up. I felt disgusting. I felt like people could smell it from a mile away. So I kept to myself. And what do you do when you’re all alone, and you don’t have anything, and you want a little pleasure? You eat. Then you throw up. It was so hard to stop. If it had been as easy as chopping off my hand, I would have done it. But it’s not like cigarettes or alcohol. You can’t just kick food out of your life. You have to confront it. You have to get back to normal. Even now it’s inside of me. I know I’m still vulnerable, especially during my low points. But it’s not my life anymore. It started with single days. Nights where I’d lie in bed and realize I hadn’t thrown up. Then weeks would go by. I’d have major fallbacks, but by then I’d tasted normalcy, and I wanted more of it. You miss so much of life with your face in a toilet. So I’d start over again. Now I have things in my life more powerful than the addiction. Recently I told my dad about the 50 Euro bill, and how I’d spent it, and how guilty I felt. He told me not to worry, and gave me this new one. It’s not the same. But this time I’m going to keep it.”
(Berlin, Germany)
Ladies and gentlemen, what you’re about to see is a product of our imaginations. And believe me, at this point they’re quite vivid. – PM
MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR (1967) DIR. THE BEATLES, BERNARD KNOWLES
to clarify … so many strong women in my life rely on men. that dependence is dangerous. ladies here are some good ref resources I’ve found helpful on my journey towards self reliance
automobile
changing coolant
changing oil
changing tire
jumping a car
plumbing
toilet running
basement flooding
replace a faucet
clogged drain
electrical
replacing light switches
blew a fuse
installing overhead light
earth vs. neutral vs. live wires
home
patching drywall
finding studs
this list is in no way comprehensive feel free to add on
a lot of ‘man things’ are a lot easier than you think they are. especially considering the fact that most of these things when buying the parts come with directions on the packaging that men usually don’t even look at (and often end up doing it wrong because they were taught by fathers who also did not look at the packaging).
like i recently had to change my car battery and freaked out cause i thought id electrocute myself but turns out new batteries come with directions and its the easiest shit in the world so long as you can lift the damn thing.
so yeah, ladies dont ever feel like a man is a necessity for life, you can do this shit on your own its easier than you think!
Adult performer Nikki Benz filed a lawsuit Monday against the porn production company Brazzers, its parent company MindGeek, and fellow actors Tony T. and Ramon Nomar for sexual battery. The suit, provided to Jezebel by Benz’s lawyer, alleges that she was non-consensually “struck on the face, head and breasts hard enough to cause her to bleed” during a shoot two years ago. Benz says she was then pressured into saying that it was consensual in order to receive her paycheck.
Benz first made the allegations via Twitter in late December of 2016, following the shoot in question. She tweeted, “The director himself put his hands on me and was choking me. Never in a million years did I think Brazzers would allow it.” She added, “I guess rape scenes are in now huh?” Benz also tweeted at the time that she had been stomped on. Her tweets followed several allegations of on-set abuses made against porn star James Deen in 2015. Just last month, porn performers Leigh Raven and Riley Nixen took to YouTube with allegations of abuse during a shoot.
In Benz’s case, the scene in question was directed by Tony T. and shot for Brazzers, a thriving production company owned by the industry behemoth MindGeek. Benz alleges that she was only told beforehand “that the shoot would be hardcore and what she would be wearing” and “knew nothing else about the shoot.” The suit says she only consented to be touched by co-star Ramon Nomar, but that Tony T. participated in the on-screen action, slapping her while saying, “Open your eyes bitch” and “Open your fucking eyes.” Benz alleges that she called “cut” several times to point out that she had only agreed to perform with Nomar.
The suit adds, “[Tony T.] would film with one hand and choke Benz with the other hand. Nomar stomped on Benz’s head. Between Tony T. and Nomar, Benz was hit, slapped choked and thrown on the ground and against the wall.” It further alleges that this made Benz bleed and that “water was poured on the walls and floor to cover up her blood.” It also alleges that “while Benz was gagged with her underwear,” water was “poured down her throat, causing Benz to choke.”
Benz alleges that during her on-screen exit interview after the scene, a standard practice during which performers confirm that everything was consensual, she was asked whether she would do the same shoot again and said that she would not. “Tony T immediately yelled, ‘Stop!’ He then turned off the camera,” according to the suit. “Off camera, Tony T yelled, ‘Fuck Nikki, you can’t say that!’” Benz alleges that Tony T. then made her re-record her exist interview with a “yes” response and told her that “if she did not do so, Benz would not receive her check,” according to the suit.
In addition to alleging sexual battery against MindGeek, Brazzers, Tony T., and Nomar, the suit alleges “gender violence,” a “hostile work environment,” and “sexual harassment,” citing state civil codes. Benz is seeking an award of attorneys’ fees and punitive damages.
MindGeek, Brazzers, Tony T., and Nomar did not respond to a request for comment by press time. However, Tony T. has previously deniedBenz’s accusations and filed a defamation lawsuit against her, as well as MindGeek and Brazzers, which cut ties with the director following Benz’s allegations. Benz told Jezebel in an email, “I hope me coming forward and standing up for myself will change how female performers are treated in my industry by producers, directors, and certain male talent,” she said. “We are not objects. Our rights are human rights.”
“Benz alleges that during her on-screen exit interview after the scene, a standard practice during which performers confirm that everything was consensual, she was asked whether she would do the same shoot again and said that she would not. “Tony T immediately yelled, ‘Stop!’ He then turned off the camera,” according to the suit. “Off camera, Tony T yelled, ‘Fuck Nikki, you can’t say that!’” Benz alleges that Tony T. then made her re-record her exit interview with a “yes” response and told her that “if she did not do so, Benz would not receive her check,” according to the suit.”
Porn users frequently say they know the performers enjoyed themselves because of what they say in the exit interviews. Show them this.
Also, this qualifies as human trafficking. Fraud, force, or coercion.
“But women choose to do porn, porn is harmless” cry the men who can’t go a day without jerking off to a woman being brutalized on film for their entertainment.
“But she’s on camera saying she enjoyed it, and there’s no way she was coerced or pressured into saying so! I bet she could totally say it was rape while there’s a camera pointed at her and her costar(s) sitting right next to her and a dozen men surrounding her!”
gamechangershow
areudirty
tangentwithtanner
stormborns
prguitarman
snowghoul
theartofmadeline
