prisoner of Dank memes @jojofucker69 - Tumblr Blog

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

ina-gartens-weave

video ive been thinking about for days

generic-internet-name

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

generic-internet-name

you can't get out that way!

generic-internet-name

that's not very helpful.

generic-internet-name

maybe the open window will help.

generic-internet-name

try the open window instead.

oganneb

Emil is my "yup this is real wool" detector. It's only real wool that he goes this nuts over

unicornery

podcastwizard

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

cutecipher

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

iimnothereyet

my little hair dispenser machine (her name is sweetie)

estrogenesis-eeveeangelion

step one: be extremely depressed during covid-19 quarantine

step two: in your diffidence, leave many half-drunk glasses of water around your apartment

step three: your cat, who is stupider than any other mammal on earth, living or dead, starts drinking from your many abandoned water cups

step four: the cat now believes these are for her

step five: years later, you keep a glass of water on your bed side stand. not such a strange sight. however, it is the cat's glass of water. she loves it. she drinks from it, she sleeps beside it on the bed next to your pillow to jealously guard it from harm, she cries when the level gets too low and she can't cram her little head in far enough to reach the water. when overnight guests are there you have to explain that even if they are parched in the night, they don't wanna drink the glass of water, because that is the cat's glass of water.

estrogenesis-eeveeangelion

slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp

estrogenesis-eeveeangelion

you know how easy it was to get this picture? i picked her up, smooched her on her little head, put her down on the bed facing it, and she went "!!!! ooomye glase ofwater🥰" and started slurpin

estrogenesis-eeveeangelion

i tried to tell her she's famous now. she licked me

estrogenesis-vaporeongelion

i miss you, little bug. be good out there<3

rcktpwr

i teleport behind you like in the animes but we’re ass to ass

rcktpwr

you feel a sudden, threatening pressure against your ass…..

status-quo-hater

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

galactic-mayhem

saw this on pinterest but i think it belongs here too

i-twink-therefore-i-am

new type of guy just dropped

undefined333

this is it this is my gender

guelwaar

clinical medicine is simple, basically the way it works is 99.999% of doctors don't know anything at all, so they only treat the 10–15 most common problems in their specialty. this might sound bad, but actually it's better, because 99.999% of patients don't have any complex medical problems anyway, which we know because they've never been diagnosed with anything except the 10–15 most common problems in the relevant specialty, because in order to be evaluated for something else they would have to be referred to one of the 0.001% of doctors who occasionally know something about some other condition, but they can't get that referral because they obviously don't need it because they've only been diagnosed with simple problems that the other 99.999% of doctors evaluate. so as U can see it's really about ensuring every patient gets the best possible care.