Paul Blarticus

[sergal]

everyone shut da fuck up this is the only thing that matters

[sergal]

Oh My God Damn

[lilyblisslys]

me with the. When she. When her. When the she her me

[mollyjames]

[nikfromtheinternet]

common grackle and red-winged blackbird best friends forever!!!

[segamascott]

[theslowesthnery]

🥹🥹🥹

[despazito]

His little pony...

[noah-wyles]

all i want for 2026 is that gigantic rancid AI bubble to finally burst in such a catastrophic way that the consequences will be so good and i'll never have to see another AI generated image ever again

[fluoritegalaxy]

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

[marian-devotee]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[marian-devotee]

My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.

I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲

[thetruerarkher]

[exeggcute]

the sunk cost fallacy has been my favorite fallacy for as long as I can remember. so at this point it's probably too late to pick a different one

[seshrat]

"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

[snydog17]

they love me because I be saying shit like alas and perchance

[snydog17]

last night I said 'how fortuitous' unironically

[peachfromcmbyn]

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

[senatortedcruz]

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

[t-s-n-deactivated20250205]

me getting silly in the pussy if im being honest ?

[pococurantina]

could you lie

[pukicho]

I’m literally in my beast form going to bed

[pukicho]

[pukicho]

Stop calling the crumbs shit. None of you realize how hard it is to photoshop crumbs falling mid-air via a birds-eye perspective. They don't just have 'mid-air granola crumbs' on google, no one has ever thought of photographing that before. I had to color a bunch of boulders brown. I had to find images of various boulders and color them brown, whnich yeah, when I say it out loud, does make it sound like a funny euphemism for shit, but it's really more of a light brown color and it took a lot of time and effort, so stop.

[twentychildreninawashingmachine]

i thought they were bees.

[pukicho]

oh my fucking god. oh my god. it can't possibly look like that to you

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[mortalityplays]

there are so many long running american TV shows that are about like cia wives solving secret murders at a hospital for lawyers, and they all star the kind of white people you get from doing multigenerational bulldog husbandry

[mortalityplays]

we have successfully bred all the colour out of this woman's hair. this man? a perfect cylinder. he breathes through his ears now.

[captain-price-returns]

[knilolas]