welcome aboard, Antoine "Jonah" Riviere, student 8. we are excited to set sail with you ! has anyone told you that you look like maxence danet-fauvel? according to our records, you hail from Paris, France, prefer he/him pronouns, are male, and are here to study Music. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your academic scholarship — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + sweet, + loyal, but also - melancholic. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the café. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a guitar brought from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!
hello, buds, this is Lella, 24y, she/her, gmt-3. back after looong months away <3 hopefully I’ll be able to get back around without uni getting in my way. under the read more you’ll see more info about my babe Jonah. im stilll working in his bio, but feel free and actually invited to shot me a msg if you want to plot or figure something out! i promise i’m nice jdslf and most likely will get all excited about hcs!
[[ BASIC INFO ]]
Nickname(s): Jonah or J by everyone / Jo by family)
As a kid, Jonah had a solid familiar structure; he was raised by his biological uncle and his wife in Paris, France, where he grew up and spent most of his life. He had little to no connection with his biological parents, as they had no interest or were available to raise a kid. Somewhere during his childhood, the adoption by his uncle and aunt was formalized.
He had a happy childhood under their care, with lots of playing around, and being a good kid— good grades, never getting in trouble, always kind to others; he had trouble though trying to stand up for his ideas; he was the quiet type, with lots on his mind. He grew to be more social during his teens, as his interest in music grew and he started posting videos on youtube.
Jonah is obviously not worldwide famous or anything, but he is quite well known, and started making a reasonable amount of money out of small gigs and posted videos. When he started thinking about college, he took some time before actually joining, but when he did, he tried a scholarship in SS to travel the world and trying to get his music out there. His adoptive parents are very supportive of his choices.
Usually reserved to people he doesn't know, but sensitive and warm to most;
Doesn't always stand up for his thoughts;
Feels with depth, may get stressed over criticism;
Sometimes so focused on whatever he is doing that he doesn't take care of himself;
we will be having two honesty impromptu hours, one tonight ( sun. nov 7 ) and one tomorrow !
honesty hour #1: 9:30pm est, nov. 7
honesty hour #2: 3:00pm est, nov. 8
if you are unable to be online during either honesty hour event, simply schedule a post with a link to your inbox for both or either honesty hour sunday, 9:30pm est or monday 3pm est so that people can still send you questions. you are of course welcome to answer ic questions from your inbox any time, well after the ‘honesty hour’ ends.
make sure your anonymous asks are enabled. send as many questions to as many people as possible. because of tumblr’s ask limit, having a regular browser and then also another one incognito will allow you to ask more questions.
please like & reblog once read so that everyone will see tomorrow !
it was difficult to explain that the realisation came so late that it turned her stomach right at the very pit , a bad feeling that had gathered somewhere deep inside . a couple of years ago she never would have seen things for what they were but her hands are shaking when she suddenly stands up as if she’s trying to escape , heading around the bed and turning around , hot tears spill over her cheeks , “ i don’t know jonah – i don’t know , “ she answers the question illogically , hand swiping at her cheeks in an effort to remove the evidence of her tears although she is not ashamed . she has cried over less and cried over more . she has spent all her tears on people who didn’t deserve it and wasted all her breath on trying to win battles that she didn’t know she was in and there is a certain kind of emptiness that she’s never experienced before in that moment , it reminds her of so many moments before but now she is gifted with being self aware . she wants him to understand what she means , the mistakes she has made and will continue to make over again if the tide changes . she doesn’t think she is necessarily the worst person that’s out there but the way she has treated him , the way she was dangerously close to treating him again was wrong . she stands there and holds herself , arms under each elbow when she finally reaches the edge of her conclusion , a question that she must ask despite the way her jaw clenches . the overwhelming guilt of a theory that she doesn’t want to prove , that she always ignored because it was not really her problem . she sniffs , “ how do you think of me ? i need to know , what is it that you feel ? ” maybe that was the cruelest part of it all , that she asks him now to lay himself bare in order for her to understand , to know whether she is right or wrong about the thoughts of the past hour which now consume her bitterly .
During one long moment, Jonah thought she’d leave the room; and he held his breath, not quite aware of what he was supposed to do next. Follow her? Sooth her? Was there a master recipe on how to make other people feel better? Especially when the issue was with themselves? He watched her, and her obvious struggle no the subject, wishing he could just approach her— that she wouldn’t run away and things could just be easy. Well, to be honest, he wanted to run away too. But that was because this conversation was draining him out and he certainly would need a looooong rest, a break from everything “I— “ he was obviously dumbfounded by her question, as he wasn’t expecting it. Not that he had expected anything else that had happened during the last few minutes... but, well, his feelings weren’t clear yet? “I like, like you” he said, emphasazing the verb “a lot. If you’d let me, I’d love you” he confessed, getting on his feet as he tried to turn the thing in his chest into words; through the years, it had been quite hard for him, as many times he couldn’t understand what was going on in his mind: and, all of those times, he’d feel this agonizing thing of when he couldn’t understand his own stuff properly. “but it’s quite hard to love someone that won’t let themselves be loved, you know” he chuckled again, before bitting his lips. And then,... then he realized that maybe he didn’t sound like he wanted to. “I mean, I’m not saying that we should get together, that’s not it. I would like that. But— that’s really not— I mean, that wouldn’t be a condition for me to stay around, I just said I'd care for you either way... I’m just saying that even loving a friend is impossible if the friend is armoring themselves up and too busy with schemes to let themselves get attached” and with this, he frowned just slightly. If she had been hurt before... well, he had never seen her speak so openly and clearly— if something bad happened before, that must be it. Scared. Which sounded odd, because he had always seen her as confident and strong..... of course people had weaknesses. That’s what made them whole after all.... but he thought her reckless and impulsive, not.... scared. “You don’t think I would hurt you, do you..? I really wouldn’t...”
Joey: Should I or should I not grow a mustache out for christmas 🤭
Joey: I rlly don’t do thanksgiving but I’m hyped for christmas honestly, I love the vibe that christmas brings it’s so perfect
Jonah: Maybe letting it grow and decide one day before?
Jonah: i don’t know either about what I’m gonna do... But I have a new sweater my grandma sent. I have four, actually, she couldn’t decide which color to make and tried everything she had. Do you want one?
in that moment , she can hardly stand to look him in the eyes . her heart feels shallow although it’s still beating in her chest and she returns a gaze to eyes that seem to hold some affection , some love and care for her that she had never felt for herself . how many times had she looked at someone like that and not known them at all ? a small breath through parted lips as her fingers coil around his on her face and gently guide them down to rest on her bare knees , “ i am the toxic person and it’s okay , jonah . it’s okay that i am , ” she assures , a delicate expression on her face as she moves to grasp his own elbows and leans inwards , pressing her lips gently to the top of his head . she wants him to understand , to know what it is that she’s trying to express deeply and once and for all because although she was never ill - intentioned , she has been thoughtless and now she is seeing a man literally down on his knees to make her feel better . “ because what would i normally do ? i’d look at that little face of yours and i’d see something that i want to take and make into mine , not forever but just for whatever moment we share . and i’d keep doing it , over and over and over . all these moments and every time , when i’m fucking you , when i’m telling you just enough to make you feel like you know me , maybe the next day i’ll be with some toxic guy who needs therapy like antonio , like my ex-fiance july . and a guy like you . . . gets ate alive by a girl like me because you’re good . because you’ve got this pretty little soul and these pretty little eyes and when you look at me , i almost feel like i’m not a piece of shit somewhere deep down inside , “ she spiels with no poetic irony , a crease on her forehead that only ever appeared with a certain expression , a haunting an odd look in her eyes . “ i’m not saying this to punish myself , i’m saying this because i’m still a piece of shit . i’m still the person who’s one step away from taking anything that looks nice and crushing it in between my hands . i’m still the person who’s so angry at so many things in her life that she doesn’t even notice the people getting steam rolled along the way . i don’t want to fucking steam roll you , i don’t want to crush you . but god , i know i will if you give me the chance to , i can see it all over your face . “
Jonah really couldn’t understand what she meant or how she felt about it. He cared a lot for her, he loved her, and...and everything sound just like a big puzzle. Her words and touches were followed by a silence as he tried to place the pieces of this puzzle in their places, and, fuck, it was taking him a stratospheric effort. Was she trying to make him blame her for something? He couldn’t really blame her for anything. She never felt the same way about him.... but It wasn’t really her fault that she didn’t like people back, was it? Or that she loved being loved. Who didn’t like being liked, after all? Jonah wasn’t a social or romance expert, but he knew that being appreciated was something that mattered. But then— well, then, the twisted part actually got to him when she exemplified; because fucking and manipulating didn’t sound right. Sex... love... was something both so intimate to him that he couldn’t grasp the concept of someone manipulating another while touching them in such a loving manner. She had realized his feelings and had taken advantage of them, right? Did she know that he’d still have loved her even if they had never dated, but maybe in another way? That she didn’t need to take something that he would willingly give? He felt used. Though he knew he shouldn’t. Because nothing really changed...— he would have still cared for her just as much if they had never gone further than a friendly conversation. For one stupid moment, the idea of him being the one punished (whether she realized it or not) crossed his mind. But it couldn’t be, it didn’t make sense. “Is this a warning or something? You should know that you don’t stop mattering to me just because you feel bad about yourself. You don’t have to blink your eyes and look pretty for me to care, Ceci, you never had, I’d have liked you anyway” he felt stupid as he chuckled at his words, shaking his head “If you had rejected me right away, if we had just stayed friends, if we just stay friends right now, or if we just part ways again— you still matter. And i don’t think ill of you. You really don’t have to seduce me or manipulate me to have me to care— and I don’t feel bad for ever caring either. Are you trying to protect me from you, or what?” as if there was something to protect.... though he’d have appreciated if he had realized this sooner; maybe his heartbreak wouldn’t have been that bad.
is there anything you do purely for the thrill of the rush?
a c c e p t i n g q u e s t i o ns .
studying in a cruise-liner instead of going to a normal uni? or maybe hanging out with a few way too forward friends....— kidding, I like them. But sometimes it’s just way too much adrenaline.
