Being A Female Jackass Member Who’s Childhood Best Friends With Bam and Ryan Would Include:
@faiiryteenz sorry this took so long, you’ve probably already forgot you even requested this. I’ve just been so busy, so again, I’m sorry. Enjoy :)
Warnings: Female Reader, Cursing, General grossness cuz this is the Jackass and CKY boys we’re talking about, Don Vito
@asskickedbygirl @butttxray
Meeting Bam, Ryan and the rest of the boys around 1993 or 1994, right as they started high school. Maybe you were a witness to one of Dico’s absurd pranks, maybe you watched Raab shit on one of the lockers at the high school, or maybe you ran into Bam at the skate park while he was practicing a trick; no matter how you met them or who you met first, you hit it off with all of them right away, and you quickly became the first (and only) permanent female member of the little group. With most friend groups, it takes a while for new people to become fully integrated into the group and to be invited to hang out with everyone else regularly, but in your case, it barely took a day. Almost immediately, the guys would start inviting you to come with them everywhere, from filming stunts to watching Bam do tricks at the skatepark to accompanying them to concerts, and soon enough it would feel like you’ve always been a part of their little group. They would pull pranks on you and made fun of you just as much as they did to each other, but if you were ever in a tight spot or were getting messed with by someone outside the group, they’d all stand up for you without question (by stand up for you I mean start a fistfight and then film the whole thing for CKY 1).
Almost immediately being dragged into the filming of clips for CKY 1. You’re already in a lot of stuff just by virtue of being present for it (such as the infamous bee incident and most of the street fights), but the guys would also want you to actually do stuff, so you would get to participate in a lot of the pranks, star in some of the skits, attempt skate tricks with Bam’s help (usually those would end with you flat on your ass on the pavement, but if you actually landed it everyone would go wild), and also be the unfortunate victim of a few practical jokes, usually from Dico or Bam. Dico goes for the more psychologically torturing stuff, like calling you at 3am every day for a month with a creepy voice telling you he’s watching you through your window, while Bam goes for the painful stuff, liking throwing bricks at you. After a while, the guys wouldn’t even have to ask or tell you to do certain things; they carry cameras around everywhere so they can start filming if anyone does anything interesting, and after being with them for a while you’d start cracking funny jokes and pulling good pranks and doing little stunts of your own without being told what to do or how to do it. Being around the guys does that to a person. I can picture you pulling a prank on Dico for the first time or attempting to do a prank call without his help and pulling it off perfectly and him just being so genuinely proud.
Being super close with all of the guys, but especially close to Bam and Ryan. Dico, Raab, Rake and all of the others are awesome and funny and you get along with them great, but you and Ryan have a special relationship where you can joke around with each other while still coming to each other for advice and to rant about serious stuff, and you and Bam switch between acting like siblings, acting like best friends, acting like an old married couple and acting like rivals. Sometimes the two of you hang out for days at a time (to the point of staying at each others houses), laugh at absolutely everything together, and hype each other up like no one else (no one hugs Bam tighter after he completes a hard skate trick than you do), but then other times you bicker and fight and butt heads to the point of dramatically declaring that you’re never speaking to each other again and giving each other the silent treatment for an entire week. People who aren’t aware of the relationship you and Bam have and who only witness the fights you have probably assume that you hate each others guts and don’t care about each other, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth; you and Bam know each other better than anyone else, and you wouldn’t argue so intensely if you didn’t care about each other so much. In contrast, you and Ryan almost never argue because of how well you understand each other and how patient and compassionate Ryan can be. He gets a little snippy when he’s in a bad mood, but you never take it personally, and he almost always apologizes later if he thinks he was too mean.
Becoming one of the main Jackass members (and the first and only female member at that point) due to how close you are with Bam and Ryan and how talented you are with pulling pranks and making jokes and just overall being really entertaining. Some of the other CKY boys, like Dico, Rake, and Raab, became more of the background guys for one reason or another (Dico wasn’t super interested in the spotlight, Rake had an actual job, and Raab was in a decent amount of stuff but not to the extend of Ryan and Bam by any means whether by choice or otherwise), but because you’re pretty much always hanging out with Bam and Ryan and able to pull off interesting stunts and pranks on your own, Jeff really pushed you to have a prominent role in the series and eventually in the movies. You have a great rapport with the rest of the Jackass guys, easily joking around with them and making them laugh, and you’re not afraid to volunteer for stunts and pranks no matter how gross or potentially dangerous they are.
Getting tons of injuries, both mild and severe, while doing stunts for the show and for the movies. The guys all get hurt pretty often, and you aren’t exempt from this. You’ve broken bones, needed stitches, gotten cut up, gotten bit by random animals, and nearly passed out several times, as well as sustaining at least a few concussions and needing several hospital visits, some longer than others. The guys usually don’t freak out too much, since you’re just as capable of dealing with pain as the rest of them, but Ryan does get a little more worried than the rest, and Bam gets pissed at you if you agree to shit that he thinks is way too dangerous for you or if you actually get seriously injured. Seriously, he’ll throw a total fit, argue with you about it for hours, ignore you for days at a time to teach you a lesson, and say “I told you so” if you do get hurt like he said you would. To his credit, though, he’s always the first to congratulate you and even apologize if you pull the stunt off successfully and don’t get hurt too badly, and he only gets so upset cuz he genuinely cares about you. If you ever came up with an idea that was way too dangerous, to the point where even Jeff and Johnny were against it, and you decided to do it anyway and got hurt, Ryan probably would get at least a little upset with you and tell you off, but again, it’s out of concern for you, and he’s usually pretty chill about stuff like that and doesn’t hold it against you for too long. Ryan and Bam are always the first ones to visit you in the hospital and the first ones to volunteer to ride with you if you ever have to be taken in an ambulance, and they get you gifts for your hospital stay, too; Ryan will buy you flowers and come by often to talk to you and watch shows on the hospital room TV with you, and Bam will get you a nice little card (which he writes a slightly mean but also heartfelt message on in his messy writing) and stay with you for hours to show you new music and tell you about whatever’s going on. Half the time, he ends up falling asleep on the hospital bed with you cuz he stays so late.
Hanging out with all of the Jackass guys in different ways. Steve-O will take you out for a wild night on the town, Knoxville will invite you over to watch a movie or listen to music, Pontius and Dave England will take you out for bowling, Wee Man will show you some cool skateboarding tricks, and Preston and Ehren are fun to just chill out with at a bar or a restaurant. Bam and/or Ryan will often come with you to hang out, and sometimes the entire Jackass crew will go out together to celebrate something or even just for the fun of it. You also hang out with the CKY crew a lot, also usually with Bam and Ryan, since they’re always fun to be around and since you still film stuff with them pretty often, such as episodes of Viva La Bam. Dico, Raab and Rake may not be in Jackass that much, but they’re still childhood friends of yours, and you’re not gonna give them up or stop being close with them just because you’re a bigger part of Jackass than they are. Often, they’ll all come to Bam’s house with you and the whole group will watch comedies together or throw parties or go out and look for trouble or even film movies such as Haggard and record episodes of Radio Bam.
Speaking of Radio Bam, you are 100% a main part of the show, appearing in pretty much every episode alongside Bam and whoever else decides to come on. A lot of interesting things happen whenever you come on, and so you’ve become a favorite of many listeners; you’ll tell tons of interesting anecdotes with Rake and Raab and make jokes with Dico that have everyone in laughing fits, you’ll get into bickering matches with Bam about god knows what, you’ll have sweet moments with Ryan about your friendship (and even occasionally have sweet moments with Bam when he’s in a more sentimental mood and gets vulnerable enough to tell you how much he genuinely cares about you), and you’ll gets tons of fans calling in to either compliment you or to tell you weird sexual shit that makes everyone in the room lose their shit. For one reason or another, you seem to attract all the weirdos and sexual deviants as intense fans. Episodes like this are also pretty much the best way for fans to see how you interact with the guys who aren’t prominently featured in Jackass or Viva La Bam, like Novak, Frantz, and Jess. Novak in particular has a very interesting rapport with you where he very clearly wants to bang you and always has a flirty remark or innuendo to make, but you always flatly shoot him down or make a joke that has everyone laughing at his attempts.
Being a main cast member on Viva La Bam, because why wouldn’t you be? Similarly to Radio Bam, Viva La Bam is where a lot of your funny interactions with Bam, Ryan, and the rest of the CKY guys take place, and where the fans really get to see your friendships with all of the guys. You’re there for basically every big moment, from finding jobs with the guys to pay off the heating bill to being involved in competitions to being Ryan’s lawyer during the State of Bam episode to witnessing Raab getting married to a Russian mail order bride. Bam also makes sure that you get plenty of moments of your own, and you often come up with a lot of the weird ideas for fun stuff that you and the guys can do to make the episodes more interesting. One of the best things about you being in Viva La Bam is your interactions with Bam’s uncle, Don Vito. Don Vito is known for being extremely obnoxious, and often gets loud and incomprehensible when he yells. When this happens, you often end up yelling right back at him just as loudly and incomprehensibly as he does, and this is usually extremely hilarious since no one has any clue what either of you are saying (plus it’s hilarious to see an old drunk man getting into a yelling match with a woman in her early twenties). Both of you throw your arms around and yell gibberish and just generally get all pissed off with each other and it always gets included in the actual episode because of how funny it is. The odd thing is that Vito actually seems really fond of you despite how often the two of you yell at each other; he always seems to talk you up and defend you when Bam is being a dick to you or when whoever Bam’s dating at the moment does something Vito doesn’t like (“Why can’t your girlfriend be more like her”, etc etc).
Getting to meet all kinds of musicians and famous people through being introduced to them by Bam. Bam’s an absolute fanboy for bands he likes, and he always insists on you meeting all his favorites, like HIM (Ville Valo seems to come over at least ten times a month and you’ve wondered if Bam has an actual crush on him at least a few times), Turbonegro, and Jimmy Pop of Bloodhound Gang. He insists on you listening to all of these bands with him, but if you actually start to become a fan or even date one of the many musicians he introduces you to, he gets all smug and insists that you wouldn’t have known about the band or musician without him and therefore he deserves the credit. He expects you to attend every concert with him, meet every musician with him, and rock out to the music with him whenever he plays it, and he’ll throw a little fit if you don’t. As much as it can be annoying, it’s also a little fun to get to meet so many fun people like Jimmy Pop who are always a blast to hang with, and it’s nice to see Bam to happy and excited.
Spending a lot of time chilling out with Ryan. Ryan’s super laidback and fun to be around much of the time, and the two of you have plenty of fun together without having to do anything crazy. You’ll talk for hours at a time while sitting on your front porch, you’ll watch TV together, you’ll help Ryan work on cars or just listen to him talk about cars in general since he loves them so much, or you’ll go out to a restaurant or a bar with him and just laugh and enjoy each other’s company for a while. Hanging out with him is as peaceful as it is fun, and he’s always there to listen to any problems you have while also keeping the mood light. You always try to find time to hang out one-on-one with him, whether it be between filming scenes of Haggard and Viva La Bam or during a free weekend. Even if you and Bam and the others are all in another country to film something, you still find time to sneak off with Ryan and hang out alone together. He’s your best friend for a reason.
Getting to have roles in all of the movies that Bam and the CKY guys do together; you’re one of them, after all, so of course they’re gonna give you significant roles. Filming stuff like Haggard and Minghags is a lot of fun because you get to laugh and joke around with the guys and work on various accents and costumes for characters while putting together something fun for the fans to watch. Bam and Frantz always seem to write really odd characters for you, from weird costume choices to weird quirks and habits to having to make out with at least one of the other guys in the friend group for comedic scenes. You even get cameos in some of the stuff Bam has bit roles in, such as Grind (2003).
based off of this post's second ask, with permission from @high-on-the-dying-sun
wc: 0.4k
content: my works are all 18+, mdni. i am not your mommy, you are responsible for your media consumption. collared men.
i'm very much picturing this the same as the riot control test but also like the time that trey parker and matt stone were on acid in dresses. tremaine pitches it that the only female cast member should walk the guys in on leashes, since this was her breakout role.
johnny's such a flirt and is close with his new costar and he's all about it. "no different than a regular shoot day, she keeps her leash tight, jeff."
ryan is down for whatever, thinks it's funny. BAM. has the problem. doesn't like feeling like he's competing against her for attention, lmao. pouts abs tells jeff there's no way he's letting you do that. it's degrading. (girl whatever we know you are the subbiest sub you would thrive.)
however, the event grows closer and dunn has given jeff the his green light and agreed and bam isn't gonna let ryan do it alone, so he reluctantly agrees.
it's the day of the event, everyones pregaming and getting ready at the studio. rick and lance have their cameras out filming everyone for the 2.5 movie and pontius brings her the collars for the men.
she buckles them on, johnny flirting with her the entire time. she turns to look at rick behind her, "yea this mutt needs a fuckin' muzzle." she rolls her eyes and pats johnny on the cheek as she clicks the leash onto the collar.
ryan is next, stoic— just staring right at her. he's such a golden retriever, just such a good boy. "this one's my favorite." she buckles the next leash on and holds a beer bottle up for him to sip from and he does.
bam is last, and hating (ok me when i lie) every second of it. the leash clicks into place and the cameras turn off. she lets her hand hold onto his jaw. "not so bad, see. just helps give you a little direction for the carpet." she smiles at him and then turns to stand with all the men for a picture.
red carpet goes as expected, and inside the after party things finally start to loosen up. the pretty girl is sitting with her back to johnny's chest, legs kicked out over ryan's knees while bam sits on the floor in front of her, her fingers raking through his pretty brown curls, massaging his scalp as she talks stunts with the other two. maybe he could get used to this. knoxville and dunn were already acting like it was no different than usual. he's not a violent dog. he doesn't know why he bites :((
Pairing: Dean x angel!reader (referred to with she/they)
Warnings: gender talk, cursing (I mean it's Dean, what do you expect), angel oblivious to catching feelings
Wordcount: 467 (sigh, sorry)
For the January Jumble Scribbles challenge, hosted by @societynsoelsscribbles | Jan 4th: "Here's another curse. May all your bacon burn."
A/N: Yes, the title is misspelled but it made me laugh and honestly his expression in the pic is giving 'becon burn? :/'
//
Late Sunday morning, red numbers flicker 8:22 on the alarm clock.
Sam left for a run earlier, now heavy footsteps echo through the hallway as Dean passes your room, disturbing the peace of the bunker.
You’ve spent the night thinking.
Ever since you started spending time around the Winchesters, your celestial self started feeling… different.
Castiel would surely listen if you went to him… only you weren’t sure he’d know how to help.
A little voice in your head nags to go ask Dean Winchester about it instead.
“Morning, angel,” Dean calls from the stove as you enter the kitchen.
“Hello, Dean,” you croak, gracelessly dropping onto a seat at the table.
“That run in the family?” Dean chuckles, lips tugging into a smirk. You tilt your head.
Vessels feel clunky before adjusting to the sheer power of divinity. In this particular one you keep sensing some kind of excitement around the older Winchester. It’s… odd. Unusual. Can he tell?
“Son of a bitch, you’re just like your brother.” Dean laughs, pointing the spatula at you. You frown.
“What?” He turns his back to flip the bacon.
“It’s the Lord’s day, you shouldn’t curse and… sibling. While some angels adopted humanity’s gender norms, our true forms are neutral to such expression.”
“Your dad’s a dick, angel. Maybe you should be cursing too.” Dean shrugs.
Noticing you don’t appreciate the suggestion to disrespect your father, he drops it, clearing his throat. “Anyway… what are you then…?” He cocks an eyebrow.
“A divine being with no gender.” You reply. The hunter huffs. “Well you look like a woman.” He mutters. “My vessel does.” You correct.
Tension filled silence spreads between you, eased only by faint noises of the bacon sizzling, until Sam’s arrival dissipates it.
“You guys are up already?” He asks, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge.
“I don’t sleep,” you narrow your eyes at him. “Right, of course.” The younger Winchester forces a smile.
“She also doesn’t curse.” Dean snorts while assembling a sandwich–ketchup drizzled bacon between two pieces of toast–then takes a big bite out of it.
You wrinkle your nose at the food and the restlessness he’s caused your vessel.
“Here’s another curse.” You stare at Dean until his gaze meets yours. Sam raises a curious brow. “May all your bacon burn.” You say dully, straight faced.
With his hands still in midair, holding the sandwich, Dean's face falls into a pout of disapproval and hurt, making the corners of your lips tug up from the tight line they’re usually set in.
“Wow, Dean. The first smile I've seen from the angel and it's because they cursed at you.” Sam bursts out in hearty laughter.
“Shut up, Sam.” Dean grumbles, sulkingly.
You don’t know what’s happening to you but proudly, you grin wider.
i hate when people make ellie williams a badass playgirl nonchalant masc like bruh that’s a loser lesbian who likes space and dinosaurs and singing and playing guitar. pls stop doing her like this.
Tags/Warnings: One instance of mentioned physical violence (not between Dean and the reader), the reader has a homophobic dad, allusions to alcoholism, flangst with a happy ending, coming out scene, language
Summary: After a disastrous meeting with your dad, you end up back at Bobby's and have a heart to heart with Dean
Word Count: 2.9k
Author's Note: This is for the @fanficwritersofthespnfandom June Monthly Prompts using the "Found Family" prompt
This also counts for the Getting Disowned square for @j3bingo
Thank you very much to @gappyswife for beta-reading this for me!
Dividers: Line Divider 1 by @olenvasynyt Line Divider 2 by @omi-resources SPN Divider by @talesmaniac89
Tag List: @copperboom82 @zepskies
Dean’s head shoots up at the sound of the screen door slamming shut violently. Sam’s at the library working on some history project for school, and Bobby is down in the garage tinkering with his latest project, which only leaves one person who’d come into the house guns blazing like that.
Peering around the corner of the kitchen, he just catches a flash of your jacket before you’re gone again, feet stomping up the stairs. He can’t help but wince as your door slams just as hard as the screen door, and all he can think is that you’re lucky that Bobby’s not around.
He can’t remember how many times the old man has raised his voice at the three of you for slamming doors, both in the house and the car.
“Pretty soon I’mma start taking doors off’a hinges,” Bobby had threatened maybe a few months ago, after Sam shut the door to their shared room a little too hard when Dad dropped them off for what seemed like the 10th time in the last 6 months.
Sammy still didn’t understand why Dad would leave them behind, going radio silent for weeks and then showing up to rip them away from school and the friends he’d made.
Dean learned quickly to not get attached to the schools, the other kids. The sting and awkwardness of being the new kid had worn off a long time ago, and now that he was almost finished with high school, his peers were less interested in who was new and more interested in what colleges they were going to.
Sam still tried, as green a freshman as they came, but as smart as a whip. Where he got that, Dean didn’t know.
Nor did he know where the persistence for friendship came from. Dean resigned to the fact that friends didn’t exist outside the kids of other hunters– which is where you had come into their lives.
Your dad was friends with Bobby, from what he understood, and your old man would leave you for months at a time to the point Dean had thought you were Bobby’s daughter at first.
He knew the old man and Mrs. Singer never had kids, but at the time he thought maybe it was just another lie Dad had told him for the sake of his age.
“You’re too young for some things, Dean,” Dad would say to questions that he didn’t want to answer. Dean knew it was bullshit, but he knew better than to say anything in opposition.
You were always there when Dad would drop him and Sam off. At first you were shy, but the more time they spent with you, Dean learned just how much of a spitfire you were, and slowly he’d let himself get used to the idea of you being a constant in his life whenever they were shacked up at Bobby’s.
Just a year younger than him, you never acted like it, and he could count on one hand how many times he’d seen you cry. Even when you’d wiped out on the bike you found lying around the junkyard when you were nine, and you knocked out your front tooth. Not a tear was shed, just the goofy, crooked smile he’d come to associate with you.
You weren’t smiling now, though, if the heaviness of your footfalls and the force with which you closed yourself off from the rest of the house— from the rest of the world.
You sling your backpack off your shoulder, the bag hitting the corner of your room with a loud thud. Not a thought is spared to if Bobby was home and if he’d be up here after you with the way you shut his doors.
You couldn’t be bothered to care, not as you claw at your jean jacket, chucking it in the same direction as your bag.
The tightness that has been growing in your chest ever since you fled the meeting with your Dad is growing unbearable. There’s barely enough room for you to breathe, let alone think straight beyond the aching in your fists to put them through a wall.
Instead, your fisted hands rub at your eyes as that dreadful pain in your throat made itself known. The sting of tears are soon to follow, you know, and the flames of rage inside of you are stoked by that thought.
There was absolutely no reason to cry. The asshole had never been a father to you.
He made an appearance a few times a year, just enough to ruffle your hair and pretend that he cared before he was gone again. Hunting was his life and it would always come before you. He’d made that clear for as long as you could remember.
Your mom had been a one night stand he’d picked up in some roadhouse, and she’d only cared enough to get a bead on your Dad and drop you off with a box of diapers and a ‘good riddance’ to the both of you.
Or so you’d been told. You didn’t really care, too old by the time he gave you most of the truth to fall for the allure of a mystery woman out there who might want you back.
There should be no tears shed for either of them, but especially not the man you had the shit luck of sharing DNA with, but they came anyway.
Hot and tinged with ire, you wipe them away angrily.
The ache for arms around you creeps up slowly, but when it finally hits, it comes with enough force to kick your knees out from beneath you. You sink onto the bed, burying your face in your palms while trying to breathe through the tension holding your body hostage.
Your dad may not have been there for you, but the man who was no doubt down in the shop, covered in grease and cursing over some hopeless engine, had never let you down. Neither had either of the boys who called this place a temporary home just as you did.
The boy’s door was open when you came blazing past, and you hadn’t seen Sam in there. Vaguely, you remembered him blabbing on about some kind of boring project his World History teacher had assigned earlier that week—one that would require looking at some historic documents on display in the library archives.
Dean though, you’d seen sitting at the kitchen table, spoon laden with his typical afternoon meal of cereal halfway to his mouth when you’d stormed in.
Being only a year his junior, you’d clicked easier with the older Winchester boy. You shared a few classes, but you really didn’t rub elbows in public. Sam tried to assimilate, but Dean didn’t care to, much to the dismay of the girls you’d overhear in the bathroom.
You’d created a life, or what good of one you’d curated for yourself. There were a handful of girls you’d sit with at lunch or laugh with in the halls during passing periods on the way from one class to the next.
As soon as classes were finished for the day, though, Dean would be at your locker and Sam not far behind. You’d walk to the parking lot, the three of you with your elbows linked. When you’d get to the car, Sam would always call shotgun, but that was a contest he never won.
But even with your “normie” friends, as Dean called them, you felt alien.
You knew the things in the movies they’d jokingly screech at and jump into their boyfriends arms at were real, and even though your dad kept you at a mile-long arms length from the life, you were too entrenched of it to unpeek behind the curtain.
Not to mention, you were at the mercy of the pit in your stomach that the moment you got too comfortable here, your dad would whisk you away and send the life you’d built out of blood, sweat, and tears crumbling into the Earth in a cloud of dust.
Well, guess I don’t have to worry about that anymore, you think to yourself bitterly as another wave of angry tears crashes over you.
“Fuck,” you whisper under your breath, suddenly too aware of the copious amount of self pity you’re wallowing in.
There’s other stuff too. Stuff Sam, having the most emotional intelligence out of the three of you combined, would probably know the names of.
Disappointment is there, sure, and unhoned anger. It’s the kind that is so big, so strong, that it doesn’t care who its target is: yourself or your dad.
You hear the door quietly creak open. The hinges are never oiled, and you never cared to fix it. The knife under your pillow, Bobby down the hall, and nearly 17 years of hunting conditioning let you sleep soundly.
The only creature that dared enter your room uninvited is Dean.
“Go away,” you say, hating the way your words lack the conviction with which you want to say them.
He doesn’t, of course.
“Bobby would’a beat your ass if he saw the way you came in,” he says with the slightest hint of amusement.
Your hands drop from your face and your head shoots up to give him an incredulous look. “If you came in here just to lecture me, you can go. I don’t need it right now, De.”
Dean raises his hands in a placating gesture from where he’s standing across from you. “Just saying.”
“Yeah, well you can just fuck off. Can’t a girl get some fucking peace around here?”
You groan, flopping onto your back on the bed. Surprisingly, it wears the edge to your massive block of emotions down just the tiniest bit.
The yellow-orange glow of the setting sun fills your room, illuminating the sloppily painted stars and constellations smattered across your ceiling.
Bobby had helped you paint them probably around the same time he realized you were on a fast track to becoming a permanent fixture in his household—a fact you had realized while laying in bed unable to sleep one night a few years ago. A set of sheets and duvet in your favorite color with a matching throw blanket had followed, replacing the threadbare grey ones that had been on there previously.
You’d been too proud to say it then, but it was the first time you felt as though you had a real home. Every time you’d tried to voice it since then had ended with you choking on your words and quickly changing the subject when the old man tried to call you out on your shifty or quiet behavior.
A small scream exits you when you are nearly bounced a foot off the bed as Dean flops down beside you. The fact the mattress is a Queen size is the only thing that keeps you from tumbling off the side.
“God, you are so annoying!” You reach over and backhand his chest, which only dissolves him into a fit of laughter.
It’s a sound that has become as familiar to you as your own voice, and it’s contagious in its own right. You try but fail to keep a straight face, and end up breaking into a reluctant grin.
“Yeah, but you love me anyway,” Dean says once his laughter dies down.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, De,”
He hums a noncommittal sound that you know means he doesn’t believe you.
Those three words haunt you in ways you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to fully process. Said in jest? Sure, many times. But they clog up your vocal cords, clinging to them and refusing to budge when the sense of fondness stifles your chest, needing to be heard.
You see it in the way Bobby and Sam and Dean look at you, that they know you love them. None of them are particularly good at it either, but it makes you angry you can’t say it back.
A stretch of silence follows, you’re not sure how long, but the pair of you lay there staring up at the ceiling. Your eyes trace the constellations, all of them copied out of an astronomy book that is no doubt lost in the mess of the house by now.
But, if someone asked you to pick them out in an actual night sky, the only thing you’d be able to pick out is Polaris, the North Star.
That’s the only one that truly matters to me, anyway, you think.
“Wanna talk about it?” Dean asks, breaking the comfortable silence.
The tightness that had eased through easy laughter coiled back around your ribcage. Your fingers curled into the mess of your sheets, gripping them tightly.
“I met my dad for coffee,” you started, keeping your eyes fixated on the ceiling. “And he asks me all the usual bullshit. You know how it is. ‘Bobby doing good? How’s school? Getting good grades?’ The small talk that makes him feel like he’s not a total piece of shit.”
You can feel Dean nod beside your head and you are half tempted to leave your story there.
Dean knows the meetings with your dad never go well. More than once he’s come to pick you up when the bastard bailed on you completely or skipped out on lunch or snacks leaving you to cover the bill including the excessive amount of alcohol he likes to order no matter the time of day.
Dean might press a bit, given your outburst, but he wouldn’t question it hard. You loved and hated that about him; most of the time it worked in your favor, but sometimes you wished he would ask deeper questions or push the issue when you knew he could tell there was more.
Shame burns hot, and your voice shakes when you continue. “Then he asks ‘Any boyfriends yet?’”
It’s like trying to swallow concrete when you pause, and there’s nothing you can do to stop a singular tear slipping out of the corner of your eye. It slides down the side of your face to soak into the bed.
You flinch when you feel Dean’s hand brush against yours. Wordlessly, you release your grip on the blanket and let him thread his fingers in between yours. The callouses on his palms scrape the matching ones on your own. He gives it a gentle squeeze as if saying: go on, I’m listening.
Scoffing and full of terror, you finish. “And I’m dumb enough to say ‘No, dad. I don’t like boys.’ ‘Cause he’s my dad. He shouldn’t care, right?”
The words bleed out now, and you’re horrified as you can’t stop them.
“And right there, in the middle of the cafe, he stands and slaps me across the face. Saying that if that’s true, then I’m no daughter of his and to lose his number. And then he was gone.”
There’s a wobble to your voice as you finish, and all you can do is lay there, petrified and waiting for Dean to do or say something—anything.
The few times John Winchester showed his face when you happened to be around was enough for you to form a solid opinion on the man and you’d be polite by saying it wasn’t a good one.
Within that verdict, you don’t think his reaction would have been much different than your dads. You know Dean well enough to know that while he all but idolizes the man most of the time, he is his own person.
You just don’t know how removed he was from his father on this matter, and the longer silence stretched between you, taut like a string threatening to snap under the smallest shift, you feel yourself start to shake.
Another tear slips out, then another as the stomach-dropping fear that you’d just lost another part of the family you’d made for yourself becomes more and more real.
“Well,” Dean says finally, squeezing your hand again. “Chicks are pretty cool.”
The sense of relief that floods you is like nothing you’ve ever experienced, and considering the circumstances, you hope to never feel it again.
You can’t help the half-sniffle laugh that comes from you. “You’re so fucking annoying.”
“You love me,” Dean replies, and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s smiling at you. You’re too fixated on the North star painted above you, knowing his smile is just as bright.
“I do,” you say softly, and slowly your smile fades “Do you think Bobby will care?”
Finally turning your head to look at him, you find Dean already looking at you. The unconditional love you see staring back at you is enough for more tears to well at your eyes.
“No, Sweetheart. He’s not gonna care,” he says softly. “You’re our family. Nothin’s ever gonna change that. Definitely not you liking chicks instead of dudes.”
“You think?”
“I know.”
It takes less than a second for him to pull his hand from yours, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and tugs you closer to him. You shudder a sigh, wrapping your arms around him in kind.
“Thanks, De.”
“Yeah, ‘course,” he says, rubbing his hand up and down your upper arm.
The familiar warmth glows in your chest, and for the first time, your brain doesn’t stop the words from coming out this time.
“I love you, Dean.”
His hand falters for a split second, the only sign of surprise he makes before resuming.
“I love you too, Sweetheart.”
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⟢ pretty boy and petrichor
⟢ sweetness swings
⟢ honeycrisp
⟢ honeydew blue
⟢ not like the others
⟢ sick, saccharine
⟢ spins round and round
⟢ sweet steps
Rotting from the Inside out CW: implied sexual assault
Transferring Pain
Mini Series
Dragon Fly
Monday Morning
Another Lonely Day
World Turning
(more parts coming!)
Blurbs:
Blurb 1
blurb 2
bobby's house
Sunny's Screeches:
My baby is getting her time in the sun!! I'm letter her out of the depths of my evil brain! I'm gonna be writing for her a whole bunch since i literally have so much material for her !!
tumblr has marked some of the posts as mature, none of them are overly violent or have any sexual content (aside from rotting with the implication of SA [which is very minor]), so just a heads up!
James B 🤷 @juiceboxfullofslime - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
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