go outside i'm not joking @juicemitio - Tumblr Blog

dogpuppy

waterboard

zxid

collection

fishlung8877

bumblebeebats

so i hauve covid rn and i must say, American cold medicine is the absolute bees knees. You go to a UK pharmacy and they tenderly press like eight (8) paracetamol into the palm of your hand... God FORBID you're sick in France, i had to scour every pharmacy in Paris for something that wasn't HOMEOPATHIC PASTILLES. meanwhile last night i took the last of my stash of Nyquil that expired in 2019 and it was like getting hit by a fucking baseball bat (affectionate). press X to timeskip. LOVE me a cheeky little medically induced coma. you can really feel that it's a precursor to meth. i know that everything is fucking awful over there my friedns and my heart goes out to every one of you but if you need one small bright light of national pride in this time of strife please know that i envy you your cold medicine every day

slowspinningredemption

i once took an american antihistamine pill just a basic one for seasonal allergies and i had to immediately lay down and while doing so i vividly hallucinated that i was a steerage passenger on the titanic resigned to my death as my cabin filled up rapidly with water. then i blacked out and when i woke up again my allergies were gone for the entire season.

acakewalkofcrocodiles

The Hat Man is our greatest export

#they id you for cold medicine over here now lmao. 18 or 21 depending on the state iirc

charl0ttan

you could just hit other people as a kid

quietwingsinthesky

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

beemovieerotica

spaceshipsandpurpledrank

Bro was THIS close to calling air bud a slur

tastylemonbread

aidashakur

never forget that you are someone’s most legendary fumble

60 hr weeks are killingggg me but i need the money for the move :/ im gonna move cross country even if i dont get accepted into any masters i need a big change

#gonna miss my therapist and my family but it is what it is #love this city itll always be home but the creative scene and queer scene are both dogwater here #idk itll be hard but good hard i just need a program or a specific job to make me feel grounded there ig #havent decided where if masters doesnt choose for me. pnw or sw methinks. i do better in coastal climates but cali is expensive #and i respect the commune life but not for me i need complete solitude time or ill lose it. but i do love living w lots of people #two wolves inside of me. my studio rn has been the best living sit for me so far. it has big windows a gym a pool and a murphy bed #not crazy expensive for a studio either tbh. it's a little run down but structurally fine and management is as good as it can get #in big complexes yknow

lesbian-sweeney-todd

need a lesbian who's ev— (remembers i don't believe in evil) — need a lesbian whose material conditions incentivize her to be mean to me

disappeared but perhaps am back we'll see :) my brain fully cooked so i dont really feel compelled to be on here that much anymore. life updates below if anyone's interested

graduated magna cum laude w my creative writing ba in 4.5 years w manageable loans. got a new car bc my old one was dying, went from a huge ass suv to a subcompact hatchback and the gas mileage difference is crazyy i do have a loan on that i wanna get knocked out asap. havent named the new car yet, gotta wait for inspo to hit, cant force it yknow. got into and out of credit card debt in like 3 months. 3000 it was rough had to put my whole tax return into paying it off check your accounts guys :^ waiting on half my masters apps to get back to me, trying to stay optimistic but idk if i'll get accepted this round. trying for fully funded poetry mfas. super competitive most are less than 1% acceptance rates. one waitlist three rejections three pending rn including my dream school which is hell waiting on. there's one i havent heard back from i think i could have a solid chance getting accepted into though, it's catered to a writing niche i'm in. problem is it's in a very small town and im a mid to big sized city guy :/ like if you got less than 500k idk.. oh yeah im published now and got 2nd place for a poetry award. working 55 hours a week between 2 diff jobs to start paying of loans and to save for the cross country move if i get in somewhere. morning job is barista lead at a tiny cafe where i design seasonal drinks and menus, pay isnt the best ever but not too bad and it pays the bills and very creatively satisfying. night job i hate tbh im order taker/food runner/expo for a bbq place and im technically pescatarian but mostly vegetarian so the shifty is kinda useless and the coworkers are annoying but the pay is insanely good. they do have tofu actually but it's deep fried and i have familial hypercholesteremia so i gotta avoid fried food so i dont have a heart attack or whatever. i hate working with cishets bro why are you trying to talk to me about football i have facial piercings and soap brows what do you expect me to say. lost 10 lbs so far this year and trying to lose 10 maybe 15 more before summer. doing pt bc i keep getting bad running injuries. havent been able to run since september which has been really hard on my mental. it's my favorite hobby and helps w my mental health and sleep so much and it's so fun i just want to get back into ittttt. pt said if im still improving this week i could get the green light to run like 5 mins twice a week but my knees have been hurting so i dont think theyre gonna let me :((