A psychological horror sequence in death note
The horror from L’s perspective:
- worst Kira news imaginable
- immediate personal space violation
- having his equipment messed with without his permission
- Matsuda blabbing to Soichiro without consulting L
- L’s mild look of annoyance is pristine self-regulation, which others in this situation are dangerously lacking
- L is forced to lie to Soichiro again (look at his expressions in the “umm… he’s in the gray” panels, they’re so beautifully layered, I just love how he’s drawn there. It says “i dont want to lie right now but i will without hesitation, i am worried about Soichiro’s psychological state, and I am still annoyed at Matsuda” all at once, along with L’s typical backdrop of exhaustion)
- no one understands L, no one is noticing any of this, and they don’t know he’s lying. It’s like they just push the L button to get an answer from him that they like without acknowledging that he’s calculating it
- Matsuda tries to fuck with L’s stuff again and this time he’s gonna tell Light! He’s gonna tell the fucking suspect!
- L finally gets triggered - because letting Light know this information could actually be consequential to the case, the main thing he cares about, the first thing he’s ever put his life on the line for, the thing that’s slipping through his fingers at this moment
- he still immediately corrects himself with his polite referral to Matsuda. What an absolute cupcake
- he is not trying to be rude, he’s trying to protect his magnum opus from being accidentally stepped on
- There is such an all-encompassing horror to being universally misunderstood, you literally start to wonder if you’re in psychosis or something. It can be so easy to lose trust in yourself. What if L was literally seeing things that weren’t there this entire time? (We know as the audience that he wasn’t, he was the only one seeing the truth at this point, but he has to rely on whatever self-trust he has built up at this point in his life because nobody else agrees with him)
- when he speaks to both his suspects again, their responses defy all logic
- Light is literally trying to puppy-dog-eye him. Misa is calling L’s enemy a hero. This is after both of them changed personalities right in front of his eyes.
- he’s so fucking confused. He’s so alone. He has no one to talk to about this. Is he going crazy? How would he know if he was?
- the case is starting to seem unsolvable by logic and evidence
- L has now tortured and detained people for this. was it all for nothing?
- he’s not at all familiar with the feeling of confusion, look at his poor face
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