love to lay

Julian Jules Anderson 24 || ze/zir || middle child aspiring rock star god but currently working at the post office single & ready to mingle --- or at least fool around blind as a bat and haven't shaved in years and killing it, cocky af hotter clone to blaine i'm loud and obnoxious and i love myself, so i don't care if you like me. proud slut || gay-ish || punk af

[eieo]

*ten minute rant* i aint even mad

[trauma-whore]

Hello, it’s me ur Local Mistake,,,,

[julianderson-blog1]

cotton-eyed-artie:

You seriously need help Buddy 

I know, help me. Help my dick. 

[julianderson-blog1]

jude-evans:

Love the offer, but I’m gonna have to pass. I gotta stick to my word, so when I say I’m not doin’ anything, I’m not doin’ anything. Or anyone, for that matter.

A man of honor, how sexy. Would you rather spend another night doing nothing, or would you rather have your dick sucked by an expert. 

[julianderson-blog1]

kingsleyjones:

‘Cause I know. You ain’t ever gotten a kiss after a blow job? How about we just consider the deal all the way off the table, and neither of us solicit the other for sexual actions again. Sound good? Good. Like I said, whatever sinks your submarine, dude.

Ah, tasting your own cum, sexy. No, no! Not good. Just forget everything I said and I’ll silently go on my knees like a good, little, obedient gay boy. Is that a saying? I’ve literally never heard that before 

[julianderson-blog1]

xpaxblaineandersx:

You still go to him for money, even if you throw the stuff you buy away it’s still  having his money. Why do you need luxuries when you can fuck anyone you want? Of course there would be. It’s nothing really Julian, things are alright.

No, it’s not. It’s a clever way of saying “fuck you” that’s what it is. I’m hitting him where it hurts, since money is the only thing he cares about. Is that a hint of jealousy I suspect? Intimacy only fills the void somewhat, little brother, as does material objects and drugs. I could go into detail if you’d like? Nope, you know me, I don’t let things go, spill. 

[julianderson-blog1]

xtabithaxwintersx:

I’m pretty certain I’ll regret agreeing to this later on down the line, but fuck it, let’s do it. 

Fuck yeah! Hope you don’t have any limits. Cause when I say let’s party, I mean let’s party. 

[julianderson-blog1]

vanessamdias:

Well I like to make sure everyone can experience the theatre if they want to. If you come on Thursday it is a pay what you can night and I can put some money in for your tickets. A date huh? Do you know who the lucky one is yet? Oh my, so tempting, but this lady is pretty lady is pretty much off the market. 

Oh, don’t you worry, I have experienced the theatre many times, never missed a single show my brother has done. How could I ever repay you? Honestly as sad as it is I’ll probably just bring Blaine -- although I’m assuming he’s been to your show before, I’ve been hearing you two are quite the friends. I can keep a secret if you can. 

[julianderson-blog1]

starbatoon:

Well aren’t you just lucky to have parents to bail you out.

Yep, I’m just the luckiest for my rich, piece of shit father. The way he just tries to fix everything with apology money is just the absolute fucking best. And there’s a lot he has to apologize for. 

[julianderson-blog1]

jayceweston:

I dunno if you’d make it much further, but you can always give it ago? And you truly have a way with words, don’t ya?

I’m pretty sure I would -- or should I say will -- I have a few moves up my sleeve. I know, I’m so poetic, no wonder I’m trying to be a song writer. 

[julianderson-blog1]

honeymotta:

That’s totes not how it works, at least not until we decided to keep sheep and breed them to grow more wool than they actually need, all so that we can harvest it and pretend that we’ve got this mutual relationship with sheep. 

Then educate me. How does it work? Because all I can think about is how much sheep need us to trim them, the wool’s gonna grow no matter what. Would you rather let that poor sheep suffer or get some free wool out of it? 

[julianderson-blog1]

silassmythe:

Ugly, huh? That’s not what you were saying months ago. I don’t get overwhelmed. Not really my thing. I’m highly educated, thank you very much, but I wasn’t aware that adults take pride in being childish. 

Nope. Frankly being thrown around like I’m nothing isn’t something I’m into. Much better on my own. Less drama. Key word being, “I think”, as in my side or a general idea. Wasn’t telling you what you want or what to do. Of course you do.

I’ve learned a lot about you in those months, opinions change. Fine, I was just being polite calling it “overwhelmed,” I actually mean extremely turned on. I wouldn’t know, I’m barely an adult, unlike you, ya old man. Are those wrinkles I see? 

Are you fucking kidding me? You want to get into this now? You were never fucking just nothing to me and you fucking know that. Wise choice, no one can hurt you if you’re alone. Oh, well, still, I’m going to do whatever I want, so you can keep your thoughts to yourself. Do you not? 

[julianderson-blog1]

adelaidepeterson:

Because there’s not delivery people wandering around at two in the morning, prob???

Uhhhhhhhh, yeah there is, my dude. UberEats, it’s 24/7. I’ve been ordering McDick’s in the middle of the night every day this week. I always get hungry after I kick my one night stands out around three in the morning. 

[julianderson-blog1]

ceceharps:

Okay, well, the reason that got infected was because you stuck a safety pin through your nose. I’m willing to bet it wasn’t sterilized beforehand, and you probably used some generic sterling silver jewelry, right? That wouldn’t happen if you came to the shop and had it done properly.

I thought it would look edgy! Look, I had pink hair and I wore eyeliner, a normal piercing wasn’t cool enough for me. 

[julianderson-blog1]

littlemermaidkatie:

It wasn’t a stiletto. I’m sure I would look sexy as fuck wearing a pair of stilettos at work, but it’s not ideal for a lifeguard, ya know? It was a flip flop and I barely even grazed the back of his head. I almost missed, in fact. He acted like I beat the hell out of him, though.

Of course you would, everyone looks sexy wearing stilettos -- especially me. Darn, we gotta work on your aim. The key is practice, I’ve thrown so many shoes at so many people. You should have actually beaten the hell out of him, so he could understand the difference. 

[julianderson-blog1]

christineberries:

This isn’t nearly as funny as you’re making it out to be.

Maybe not but it’s just so fun laughing at you. 

[julianderson-blog1]

vixenvee:

I’m here for some weird shit, but I feel like I wouldn’t be down for someone pulling on my piercings while they’re getting me off. We can totally bang, though. You just name the time and place and if I’m not working, I’m there.

What kind of weird shit? We might have something in common. Don’t worry, I can be gentle. When do you get off work tonight? I’ll text you my address.