Easy as breathing, Jamie’s hand came to rest in the small of Jules’ back as she stumbled – steadying, comforting. “Easy there,” he said, boyish grin still split wide across his mouth. Being here, like this, with Julia, made him feel ten years younger, like maybe he hadn’t wasted his life being a drunk and a fuck up – like he still had time to get shit right.
Jamie’s expression took on a confused quality for a half-second until, fuck, Jules wouldn’t know, would she? That he had his own shop, that he was a full on carpenter now instead of a kid who whittled away at wood for fun. “Oh,” he said, dumbly and maybe a tiny bit sheepishly. “No, I make them. Well, not just bar stools. But furniture and other odds and ends – from wood. It’s uh, my trade. Now.” Jamie hated the little flutter in his chest, the need of approval from the one submissive that it actually mattered from.
He laughed at her mention of Monica, hand guiding her as they took a right, headed towards the diner. That laugh died, however, at the mention of Derek. His steps slowed, frown marring his face. He looked at her, silent for a moment, unsure of how to tell her, throat tight. “Derek enlisted,” he began, looking away from Jules. “He was killed. It, ah, it happened four years ago. Grey hasn’t been the same, but he’s alive and well. He’s laid claim to my couch, actually.”
He kept her upright and walking easily, like it was second nature--and maybe it was. He taught her how to ride his motorcycle, gave her her first drink when she was barely eighteen. And he was always there, keeping her steady along the way.
Julia noted the confused look on his face, but before she could question it he was elaborating and her eyes widened a bit. He always used to have an army knife in his pocket, would usually be whittling away at any chunk of wood he could get his hands on. And he was always good at it. So to see he actually did something with that... “Jamie..that’s wonderful, oh my gosh!” She grinned up at him, bouncing a bit in her steps, “So you have your own store or something? Can I come by and see it someday soon? Please?”
It was barely seconds later though that his steps slowed, and her grinned dimmed lower and lower until he spoke again, and just like that her excitement plummeted, being replaced with the feeling of her heart dropping, a bucket of ice water dousing over her.
Derek had always been kind and sweet to her, she got along with him almost as much as Jamie. He was her friend. ...And he was gone.
Her heart went from dropping to feeling like it was cracking. She’d been forced away from her friends and her family. She didn’t know of James’ job, didn’t know someone she loved was dead for years... “J-Jamie, I..” she swallowed, frowning as she stopped their walking altogether. She leaned up on her tiptoes to manage and wrap her arms around his neck, hugging him, “I’m sorry...” I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you. I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. She closed her eyes, feeling guilt and grief and a dozen other emotions rolling through her. She pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, instinct kicking in as she reached up to cup his cheek for a moment. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here..I...I didn’t..--that I didn’t know. That I wasn’t here. F..For you.”