Some Dude™

he/ him || Black gay trans man|| out here for academia and also other fun stuff

[roadhogsbigbelly]

there is this annoying trend where for example someone will like. reinvent phrenology and someone will point out " you know the nazi's believed in that" and then response they'll go "oh so i should make sure my phrenology isn't racist or anti-sematic!" because they don't understand that assigning physical traits to intelligence or morality is still bad no matter what, not just because "people who i know are objectly bad share those beliefs for the wrong reasons" and this happens everytime.

[roadhogsbigbelly]

someone will reblog a post that's like "men are genetically disposed to being evil due to their genes and brain chemistry" and than be told "you know this post was written by a terf and they're talking about trans women, right?" and than go "oh my bad" and than post "men are genetically disposed to being evil due to their genes and brain chemistry (this post is not about trans women!) terfs dni" and it's like. ok you know that doesn't suddenly help right?

[genderqueerdykes]

it kills me how much people love to speculate on the trans male experience. transphobes and even other trans people will conjure up ideas of what it must be like for us to live, how hormones affect us, and especially what society treats us like. they love to tell us how we live our lives; strawman after strawman about fictional trans men who started hormones and became "evil and ugly", completely fabricated stories about about how every trans man they know suddenly "gained male privilege" and never deal with misogyny or transandrophobia.

people who tell you how your transmasculine experience will go have no idea what they are talking about. even if they sound confident, they are not correct- each and every transmasculine person has a different experience in life- we do not automatically gain the societal privilege of cishet white men once we decide to socially transition. they cannot see what your future holds. you don't deserve to have someone telling you how you will experience your own life, it is yours, you are allowed to live your truth, pave your own way and prove that we have varied lives that transcend what transphobes think the trans male experience is.

[tdicksupreme]

This is often a point of connection IRL with me and certain transfem friends, ie, even inside The Community there’s a narrative of what all the “real” men and women experience and if you don’t share that, it doesn’t count & you aren’t a person. It helped me a lot to realize a lot of trans women I know were also frustrated by this, for the same reason, & were also exhausted by the misogyny-driven idea that only one kind of Gender Experience can be true and accurate. I have comrades in the frustration of having transness lectured at you while your experience is treated as Dangerous For Other Trans People To Hear

[humormehorny]

[in my most pro-union of voices]: it’s important that you talk to other coworkers{Queer people} about how much you’ve getting paid {what gendered experiences you have} that way when it’s easier to stand up for others pay{better gendered experiences under society}. If you don’t talk about it the patriarchy will get you to believe that the other gender is hurting you when they advocate for themselves, even if they might actually be doing you a favor

[uncle-fruity]

There are so many things about the accepted stereotype of transmasc experiences that do not line up even a little with my particular transmasc experience. I have been told that misogyny doesn't affect me. I have been told by other people that I want to oppress trans women. I have been told that I transitioned to avoid oppression (ha!!!!). I have been told that I want to perpetuate toxic masculinity because it will put me in a better position or because trans men all think toxic masculinity will help them pass better. I have been told that no one actually cares that I'm a trans guy, but I don't think anyone talked to my mom about that before saying so.

In reality? My body is still legally regulated as if it was a woman's body -- I still live in a state that restricts abortion and which constantly argues about my autonomy when it comes to doing what is good & right for my body & my life. I am constantly being scrutinized and judged by society at large for doing what I want with my body and my life. And quite honestly, when people talk over my experiences and my pain, it's hard to tell the difference between someone making assumptions because they want me to fit into their neat little "what makes a man in theory" box and regular ol' "you don't know what you're talking about, you stupid little girl" flavored misogyny.

In reality? The only people who have ever accused me of wanting to oppress trans women are complete internet strangers. Not the trans woman who inspired me to learn about my own transness way back when. Not the trans woman I have picked up from the hospital multiple times after she had a bad mental health episode. Not the trans women who happily greet me at the queer holiday potluck that we all came out for. Not the trans women who come to the queer art group I help organize. If any of THOSE trans women started to call me out on problematic behavior, it would be more cause for concern. But interestingly enough, me and my transfemme/trans women homies are all cool asf right now. Not to mention that anyone who knows me for more than one (1) day knows that what I WANT is for everyone to do art, be housed, get fed, and act kindly to the people around them. I have never wanted to oppress anyone because I have no interest in that kind of power or dehumanization of others. And I certainly don't think you should be subjugated based on your gender, because I have always found that shit illogical and cruel ever since I first learned about gender roles.

In WHAT reality is any trans person ever going to experience less oppression than if they were cis? Are you fucking kidding me with this one? Do you think I'm trying to become a doctor or soldier in the 1800s or something? 100% fuck anyone who believes trans men transition to avoid oppression holy shit.

In reality? All my life I have looked up to kind, gentle, soft men who treat the people around them with respect and care, and who are in touch with and confident in their emotions. I reject toxic masculinity, and I reject the hardness that society and the patriarchy try to push onto men at every turn. Some of y'all do not realize how objectifying it feels to be treated like your worth is only as good as your ability to be good at sex, your ability to do hard labor, and your willingness to die as a Protector of Others. To imply that becoming hard is something desirable for the fleeting privilege of passing is mind-boggling to me. I have intimately known cis men who are up to their ears in toxic masculinity because they feel like they have something to prove, and I genuinely can't see it as a benefit for them or for trans people of any sort. Toxic masculinity is a curse; how dare you tell me that I believe it to be the only way I know how to access manhood?? (Again, that pattern of OTHER people telling me what I know, think, or believe. OTHER people telling me what my goals are. OTHER people defining my masculinity while willfully ignoring my personal definition.)

In reality? There are a lot of people who care that I transitioned into a guy. As mentioned, my mom -- who I no longer talk to because she's a MAGA style racist & a real patriarchy-loving child abuser -- refused to accept my transition. (Not that I gave her much of a chance because that other stuff that I mentioned is why I chose to cut her out of my life.) I've dealt with other women acting like I'm a gender traitor when they find out I'm trans. There was a whole book about the """irreversible damage""" I and my fellow trans men are doing to our bodies. And more than just my experiences, all you have to do is listen to one of the many accounts of trans men being forcibly married and made pregnant to keep them from transitioning. Like, yeah. People absolutely give a fuck when trans men attempt to transition. Me included. I have had some real vile shit said to and about me & my body because I'm transmasc.

All that to say, stereotypes will always be reductive. If you think trans men only go through one uniform experience, then you are terribly misguided. If you can read all that and think, "Yeah, but he's probably lying for internet clout" or "he doesn't go through real transphobia" or "he doesn't understand sexism" or "he wants to be oppressed so bad" then I invite you to examine your biases or at least fuck all the way out of my life, because you're no ally of mine, and I don't need hateful, cynical people like you in my life.

If you read all that and thought, "huh, that guy probably understands his own life experiences better than I do, so it's worth listening to what he has to say in case it helps me interact with other trans people in the future" then congratulations! You are using your critical thinking skills, and I am giving you two major thumbs up and nodding my head enthusiastically and inviting you to show off all your cool art projects to me.

[genderqueerdykes]

the term lesbian means many, many things, but it has never and will never mean "hates men,". when you want to say "i hate men" you should say "i hate men". just say what you mean. lesbian means having a queer relationship with sexuality, gender, presentation, and/or biological sex, it means something about who you love and who loves you, but it does NOT mean hate or who you pathologically hide from. it will never stand for who you hate, only for who you are, who you find community with, and/or who you love. inclusion, not exclusion.

[genderqueerdykes]

the term gay has NEVER and WILL never mean "i hate women", in fact, when gays do say they hate women or are very misogynistic in behavior, we rightly tell them it has nothing to do with gayness/homosexuality and never will. the label "gay" is about your relationship with gender, sexuality, presentation, attraction and queerness. there are women in the gay community- bi/multigender gays, transfemme gays, girlfags, drag queens who are fully or partially women, genderfluid gays, nonbinary gays, demigirl gays, two-spirit gays, genderqueer gays and more are all people who exist within the gay community. it's about your attraction and community, who you include, not who you hate.

if you call out gays who hate women, start calling out lesbians who hate men. enough is enough. if you are an adult and behave like that, it's time to let it go. segregating yourself away from an entire other gender for life was traumatized into you while you were in school and while you're at work, but you don't have to behave like this in your free time and you certainly don't have to enforce it on others. let go of it. "men mean" "women stupid" do you hear yourselves. this is the adult version of making a fort and putting "no girls allowed" on the outside. same rhetoric. it's silly as hell

[strawby-jelli-deactivated202407]

Okay so I just watched a video of a boy who once identified as trans still got bottom surgery after he realized he was cis and people were so fucking rude? Like just because this cis dude has a vagina people were calling him transphobic and wishing death upon him.

So this is a reminder that when we as a community advocate for bodily autonomy and gender surgeries that means everyone regardless of gender can do whatever they want with their bodies.

If someone who is cisgender wants top/bottom surgery THEY CAN GET IT. If someone wants facial plastic surgeries that we usually find creepy like buccal fat removal or eye lifts THEY CAN GET IT. And here’s the really controversial one but if someone wants to do things that harm their body like hard drugs or diy mods THEY CAN DO IT!

Because body autonomy isn’t just “I can get bottom surgery to pass” or “I can get an abortion” it’s also all the wild stuff that makes us uncomfortable and that’s okay.

[cardentist]

it's genuinely shocking just How hostile trans spaces are to gnc people, whether those gnc people consider themselves cis or trans. and it's detrimental to literally everyone

treating anyone who plays with gender in a way you don't (or Seemingly in a way you don't) as a threat is just transphobia, whether it's pointed at a trans person or not. if can't treat someone with dignity unless you personally understand and approve of their gender and presentation then you are not trans inclusive, no matter how trans you may be.

[trans-androgyne]

There seems to be a lack of understanding around here of the way sexism can affect men. Of course men are the privileged gender under patriarchy, but you only reap all the benefits of hegemonic manhood if you’re seen as doing it the Right Way (being a masculine cishetallo perisex White etc. man). Feminine men experience sexist treatment. Black men demonized for being moc experience sexist treatment. Pregnant trans men painted as objects of disgust experience sexist treatment. Any time manhood is used to say men’s bodies must always look a certain way or that men are inherently more violent, aggressive, predatory, emotionally stunted, hypersexual, and dangerous than other genders, that is sexism and gender essentialism. To dismantle patriarchy, we need an accurate understanding of how it functions. Intersectional feminism includes men.

[status-quo-hater]

Me whenever I see the intersex flag in any pride stuff ever

[dabwax-deactivated20250410]

Please mention and include us. Why do you all use the progress flag that doesn't include us?

[dabwax-deactivated20250410]

"The orchid is used as a symbol by many intersex-led groups, particularly those by, or originally by, people with androgen insensitivity or resistance. The word orchid comes from the ancient Greek word ὄρχις (órkhis), for testicle or testis. It describes the shape of twin tubers in some species of the flowering plant.

A form of gonadectomy called an orchidectomy or orchiectomy refers to the surgical removal of testes. This remains a common experience for people with androgen resistance and other intersex variations. Due to a poor or very poor evidence base, such interventions are controversial.

Orchids appear, for example, in the logos of the AIS-DSD Support Group (USA), AIS Support Group Australia, and also in the film Orchids: My Intersex Adventure."

https://intersexday.org/en/symbols/

This wasn't a random cutesy decision, and the use of orchids to symbolize intersex people is tied to surviving medical abuse and accepting the self despite it. There are a lot of flowers used as symbolism to represent queerness of all sorts. Do research into your history and see what is already out there. Things like this carry weight and history.

[fvckw4d]

"Haha I'm a trans man but I'm in a male dominate field so I delayed my transition!" So you were shamed into staying closeted. How is that funny.

[whereserpentswalk]

The idea that trans men and afab enbies need to misgender themselves so they can be used as objects for cis women's rights will always be transphobia and a gateway into terf rhetoric.

[against-forms-recognizable]

Is this real, though? This sounds like op made up a guy, I have never heard anything like this from anyone.

[fvckw4d]

I was referencing this post, which I had seen minutes before I made this:

But other than that, yes it happens, all the time? Trans men and many nonbinary people are pressured to stay in the closet to not lose friends, to keep their scholarships, to retain jobs, to be able to stay in certain programs or schools, just because they find their transition embarrassing or "a blow to feminism," etc, and it's sometimes seen as "stealing resources from women" when they transition. Like the post I'm referencing, it's often presented as a joke, I just don't find it funny to admit that your support systems are so bad you think not transitioning is a win.

[p-aranoid]

hell im a trans man thats fairly visibly queer, have my ID updated with my sex, and my dream since i was a kid was to get into engineering, or be an electrician. so many programs or unions or sponsorships or scholarships in the city i live in are specifically focused on getting more women into STEM/trades. i do not pass as a woman, my identification and records all state that im male, but i am still trans. i still have to deal with a lot of barriers to get into these fields.

but i end up having to ask whether i should misgender or out myself with every application. i dont get the respect that a (cis, abled, white, straight, middle to upper class) man otherwise would but im also not easily considered as a diversity hire. i keep wondering if i made a mistake by transitioning before applying for these things. i keep thinking about how my aptitude for engineering was praised as some feminist girlboss thing until i transitioned and somehow none of that wwas remarkable anymore.

[fvckw4d]

Fun fact, trans men and nonbinary people earn 70 cents for every dollar a typical worker earns. So the idea that trans men are "privileged" when entering a field is bullshit.

The Wage Gap Among LGBTQ+ Workers in the United States

[disorganizedreligionofmyhead]

It's super fun being a trans man and having any support ripped away because you [checks notes] "are a violent misogynist that 'feminism failed to save' because you hated being a woman so much you decided to be a man for the benefits it brings."

[monemin]

this is heavily shaped by living in the specific flavor of liberal area i do,, but in my experience, people treat me worse when they know im a trans man than when they think im a trans woman.

when people think im a trans woman, i get stares, but no one tries to get violent. when i interact with people, they go out of their way to be polite and friendly - to a pretty excessive degree.

some people want brownie points for doing good interacting with a trans woman, for being sooo welcoming~, but most people are clearly in the category of *wanting* to be transphobic, but not feeling like they could get away with it.

but people who know im a trans man, whether i told them, or they successfully clocked me, almost universally use it as an excuse to use me as a punching bag.

Even ostensibly progressive, trans-positive, ~welcoming~ cis people see the 'man' part of me and see a reason to treat me like shit, and the 'trans' part as a reason they can get away with it.

cis men tend not to get physical with me. Presumably, they don't think they could get away with taking it that far. they'll make the joke about it, but none of them follow through. Cis men tend to think it's pc bullshit, but apparently, they're not allowed to hit people anymore, and they'd definitely get in trouble for "hitting a woman, even if she thinks she's a guy".

Whereas cis women, they'll do anything to me. They don't just try to socially ostracize me like the men do, they hit me, they grope me, they take out every fantasy they have about hurting a man *on me* because they Realize They Can Get Away With It.

and that's the kicker! they do get away with it! because the transness and the manhood interact such that EVERYONE thinks im deserving of punishment! conservatives because im trans, liberals because im a man, and at the end, no matter who's in charge, no cis woman is getting in trouble socially or legally for hurting me! some people decide based on the man part and some people decide based on trans part but EVERYONE thinks it's justified!

[transgymbro]

You Might Not Be Normal About Trans Men If...

You think we all pass 100% of the time with no issues or effort

You don't think feminine trans men are "real" trans men

You assume we're all transitioning to escape misogyny

You think we aren't oppressed by society

You think our problems are inherently transmisogynistic

You think it's okay to reduce us to our genitals for any reason

You think masculine trans men being themselves are inherently toxic

You think us demanding to be seen and heard and have space within our own community is us being "MRAs" and "transmisogynists"

You think transandrophobia (the idea that trans men experience oppression based on their specific intersection of transness and gender) doesn't exist or inherently is transmisogynistic

You're only okay with trans men if they don't go on T and/or get surgery

You actively try to discourage trans men from going on T and/or getting surgery

You think the previous two points don't include bottom surgery

You think all trans men are bottoms

You think gay trans men are fetishizing gay cis men

You think all transmasc artists are inherently cringe/bad at what they do

You think transmascs only exist to uplift transfems

You think anyone presenting as masculine is inherently dangerous

You think that only men/masculine presenting people can be dangerous

You think that women/feminine presenting people are always safe

You don't think trans men are in danger when forced to use the women's restroom

You think that any oppression/discrimination transmascs face is "run of the mill transphobia" or "run of the mill misogyny"

You think anything I've said on this post means that transmisogyny isn't real or matters less

You're about to leave a comment on this post accusing me of being a transmisogynist or wanting attention or wanting to be oppressed

[status-quo-hater]

Reminder for stealth perisex trans people that saying "I'm cis, I just have low/high T" (and similar phrases) to explain your secondary sex characteristics, like voice pitch, facial hair, breast growth, etc, IS LYING ABOUT BEING INTERSEX.

A cis person with features like what you're implying WOULD BE INTERSEX. An AFAB person with natural male-typical facial hair IS intersex. An AMAB person with natural female-typical breast growth IS intersex. You guys are just lying about having intersex traits in order to pass. Some of you straight up say "oh I have a hormone disorder". You're simultaneously co-opting our cause and furthering our erasure with the portrayal of intersex traits as "cis person with sex disorder", which separates these traits from the word intersex. You're still lying about being intersex even if you never actually say the word intersex.

And it doesn't even help yall avoid transphobia. Intersexism and transphobia go hand & hand. You're still a target.

If you are put in a position where you need to lie, I'd recommend lying about being a detransitioner. That's the only thing I could honestly see working.

[manichewitz]

from the 1996 edition of TransFagRag, a newsletter for gay and bisexual trans men, via The Digital Transgender Archive

[earlgraytay]

Chest binding is a form of body modification.

Like all forms of body modification, it comes with its risks and drawbacks. That does not make binding bad-- but it means you need to be informed about what is and is not safe.

I've gotten a couple of people on my 'don't buy Amazon binders' PSA trying to claim that warning people about the risks of binding is transandrophobic TERF fearmongering. And it's true that TERFs will often overstate the risks of binding to make younger/newer trans guys afraid to try it. But here's the thing.

Binding your chest is like dyeing your hair, or getting a tattoo, or gauging your ears. It's a process that modifies your body for cosmetic and psychological benefits. There are 'right' and 'wrong' ways to do it-- and generally, the 'wrong' ways to do it are the ways that can cause you serious injury.

If you dye your hair with a box kit, it can damage your hair- possibly permanently. You can wind up with hair that's the wrong colour (say, green instead of blonde), you can wind up with frizzy or thin hair, or you can wind up with a permanent bald spot. If you get a tattoo from your friend Steve on his kitchen table with a sewing needle, you can get a tattoo that doesn't look like it should (because of bad ink or technique), you can get permanently scarred, and it can even theoretically kill you from blood poisoning.

These are the 'cheap' ways to get a body mod, and some people still do them. For some people, they even turn out okay! But you are taking a risk when you dye your hair with box colour or when you get a tattoo from your friend Steve. It might be a small risk; it might be a big risk. The people warning you about these things aren't trying to tell you that you should never dye your hair or get tattoos- most of these folks are heavily dyed and pierced, and many of them have made these mistakes! But they're trying to tell you to get body mods in a way that minimizes risk.

Similarly, the people warning you about chest binding being dangerous are generally older transmascs who have messed up with binding in the past. If we tell you, "don't bind with ace bandages" or "don't buy amazon binders" or "don't bind for more than eight hours at a stretch", it's not because we want you to stop binding! It's because we've made these mistakes with binding, or we've seen our friends suffer from the consequences of these mistakes.

Just like your tattoo friends don't want you to die of Steve-induced blood poisoning, your transmasc friends don't want you to break ribs or start getting asthma attacks. You are free to listen, or not-- but we just want you to know what the risks are so you can choose how to live your life.

[canadianwheatpirates]

#as a note there was a study done recently that suggested that days per week binding had more of an impact#than hours per day#essentially it may be best not only to limit hours u wear ur binder but also to take days off fully

@genderkoolaid you may be thinking of the In A Bind study from 2020 which found that taking whole days off was more important than limiting hours per day

[hiiragi7]

Honestly, the amount of assumptions that other trans people make about trans people's bodies based on whether they're transmasc or transfem is a large part of why I don't identify with those terms currently. I don't want people to make assumptions about my body and how it functions, my birth sex, how I was socially raised, my lived experiences, or anything else based on what gender identity I currently identify with. I remember a time when the trans community felt very united on the idea that nobody ever needs to know what's in your pants, and that it's fucking weird to ask - but nowdays, with all the discourse surrounding labels, it feels like everyone is much too comfortable pressing for details about what genitals you were born with and what your original birth certificate says.

Another part of it is, as an intersex person, I feel completely excluded from these terms. Every definition, every discourse, every discussion of transfemininity and transmasculinity is completely perisex-centered. It feels like there's no place for me at all with regards to these terms, and it makes me feel like I can't really use either label, even though sometimes I wish to. Even when intersex people are brought up, it always turns into debates about how close an intersex person has to be to a binary sex to be able to appropriately claim transfemininity or transmasculinity; we are still being violently forced into perisex ideas of transness for the sake of upholding a binary.

[animentality]

[saintjosie]

this is why discourse needs to start with listening and learning, why online discourse is often so terrible, and why we see people falling prey to terf pipelines.

if you see things you instinctively disagree with, it’s SO important to understand why you disagree.

because when you explore the why, you will sometimes find that in your efforts to find the words to describe your discomfort, that you were right to disagree because someone who is more educated on the subject matter has articulated the why in a way that helps you understand that discomfort.

but you will also sometimes find that someone who is more educated on the subject can explain why your disagreement is actually an internalized bias that you had a blind spot to and weren’t aware of it until it was laid out for you in a certain way.

by nature of the internet, you will see a lot of things you both agree with and disagree with. and it’s incredibly easy to create an unintentional echo chamber where you only see things that support what you already know and believe. when something that is foreign to your current understanding of the world enters your perception, it is a shock to see. and that shock can often lead to an instinctive response of defending what you already know. this is how we get bad faith discourse.

not enough people are willing to examine their discomfort and create potential learning opportunities for themselves because they are too comfortable in their understanding of the world. but it is crucial to occasionally step outside of your comfort zone in order to continue to grow as a person.

if you see something by you don’t understand it is worth taking the effort to dig into it and take the time to understand why. do research, ask someone you trust. actively seek education constantly. we all need to constantly be learning in order to better ourselves because that’s the only way that we can make the world a better place for all of us.

[minnichan]

My favourite QRT from that first tweet:

[cellsmakeupabody]

Also just for the sake of making sure it’s said…

The first tweet is saying that trans men aren’t men. So. There is also that.

[klapollo]

the way sesame street, a pbs puppet show for literal babies, is pressing on with pride content despite vitriolic monsters descending on every post to insinuate they're pedophiles or demons while some of the biggest companies on the planet who could swim in olympic swimming pools of money like scrooge mcduck on steroids buckle and cave just emphasizes how completely and utterly pathetic these corporations are. they'd butcher a baby if it meant saving a penny.

[klapollo]

where Starbucks and Target and Budweiser will be bullied into submission with the slightest push, puppets and people in your neighborhood stand tall

[adobe-outdesign]

Sesame Workshop has been doing pride stuff since 2017. The Muppet Wiki has a nice list of stuff they've done:

LGBT culture

LGBT culture describes the social paradigm by which lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) individuals sometimes identify. C

[aquilathefighter]

Jim Henson supported his openly queer colleagues in the 1970s! The Muppet performer Richard Hunt was majorly influential on Sesame Street, the Muppet Show, and Fraggle Rock.

They also dumped Chick-fil-A in 2012 when CFA made their stance on gay marriage known.

It would be a dishonor to their memories for the Jim Henson Company to kowtow to queerphobic demands when their namesake always stood for diversity and acceptance of everyone, and it makes me proud to be a Muppet fan to see that insisted upon 💖🌈

[earlgraytay]

Hey, PSA for younger/newer transmascs:

Tumblr has been showing targeted ads for "FTM binders" off Amazon. They look like this:

Do not buy these.

A binder is a piece of medical equipment. If you use one incorrectly, or use a poorly made one, you can really fuck up your ribs. This article from the Cleveland Clinic talks about how to bind safely.

A $14 binder is guaranteed not to be safe. There's a reason reputable companies charge more- sometimes a lot more. They have to carefully design binders so they don't crush your ribs or make you sick.

You know how everyone says Don't Bind With Duct Tape? Don't bind with Amazon binders.

[hiiragi7]

Challenge for perisex queers this pride month: Look for intersex pride. If you see shops selling things for pride, notice what identities are included and if intersex is among them. If you see progress flags, take note of whether it's the intersex-inclusive one or not. If you've been to a pride parade or are planning on going, take note of whether you saw/see any intersex flags.

As an intersex person, I often feel more invisible than ever during pride month these days, and it often feels like the rest of the queer community doesn't even notice our erasure and even participates in it. I want people to notice it.