I see that "learned helplessness" is the hot new psychological term getting wildly misused. the phrase you're looking for is "weaponized incompetence," babes
weaponized incompetence is when your partner does chores shitty on purpose so that you stop asking them to do chores. learned helplessness is when you've experienced so much trauma that you've developed the mindset that you can't meaningfully change your situation and have become accordingly passive.
if your partner is exhibiting learned helplessness they aren't manipulating you, they're displaying a trauma response.
I dated a dude who I asked to make a pitcher of Kool-Aid and I know he made it wrong on purpose so I wouldn't ask him to again. I met his family so I KNOW the muthafucker knew how. That's when I realized, that's where the trauma came from. He was his family's chore and errand boy growing up.
