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@justanotherinternetsimp
Never made one of these before, so yea, ok, pinned post time. Hi, im a simp, floating across the internet. I say weird shit and interact with what looks fun.
This is my more masc leaning blog, where i tend to primarily throw the cool shit i see. I try to keep mostly to stuff around the mlm ships i like, but i play it fairly loosey goosey around here. Dont take it too serious, have a good time, dont be a dick!
anyway good morning a crucial tenet of hollanov’s relationship is that they’re equals and they’re the only people in the world who could ever be each other’s equal. they were supposed to stand alone at the top but they’re there together. shane does not view ilya as a lazy useless inconvenience. ilya does not view shane as a nagging killjoy. they are equals and they both think the other is the best thing since sliced bread and they love each other but more importantly they LIKE each other. stop making them not like each other!
Story time:
In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.
Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.
What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.
The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.
So whenever I see crap like Elizabeth Holmes’s blood test scam or pharmaceutical trials which are unable to be replicated or industry-funded research that reaches wildly unscientific conclusions, I just remember those fucking sweet potatoes. I remember that curiosity dies when people are just trying to give their superiors the “right” answers, so they can get the grade, get the job, get the paycheck. It’s not about truth when it’s about paying rent. There’s no scientific integrity if you can’t control for human desperation.
the post about Shane building peanut tolerance reminds me of my brother. he HATED the taste of peanuts and would swallow reese’s pieces like pills. and he can smell peanuts from the other side of house. i’m picturing ilya opening a granola bar or something and shane yelling “I SMELL PEANUTS” and ilya being like “how is your nose better than anya’s????”
ilya celebrating shane's new tolerance by eating a pb granola bar in the kitchen for the first time and shane from UPSTAIRS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE yells out "PEANUTS?"
ilya:
ilya putting shane on blast to yuna and david is making me think of baby shane who LOVES mangoes who can’t have them but doesn’t fully understand WHY he can’t have them
so he creates his own personal system of earning them where if he scores a bunch of goals in peewee practice he gets to eat a mango or if he does well in school or if he cleans his room
yuna finds him in the corner broken out in hives covered in mango juice with the biggest smile on his face and she’s FREAKING out and she and david try to explain to him that no, honey, it’s not that you’re not ALLOWED to eat mangoes it’s that the mangoes are trying to kill you baby
and eventually he gets it and stops eating them but then he gets even older and he realizes this is a risk reward situation and then he comes back full circle to scheduling in/earning his indulgences
and if i said shane at a foundational age internalizing that things that bring him pleasure and joy have to be hidden because otherwise he'll get in trouble
laughing about the idea of yuna and david trying to make bb shane a little bit more well-rounded and not SO laser focused on hockey by getting him into violin lessons or art something only to find out that he's allergic to rosin and oil paints
and bb shane who didn't want to do this in the first place but didn't know how to say no is just "oh no :) so sad :) guess i have to just do hockey again :)"
The crucial thing though is that Shane (canonically) DOES NOT KNOW how much OR how little his emotions show on his face.
Like, he thinks the ":)"s in this response are just in his head, and that he's not literally in the hospital beaming at his parents as he says "I guess I can't play violin anymore."
... They get the memo.
baby shane while wearing an oxygen mask in a hospital bed and covered in hives as he is SO sad about how he can't do music class anymore
Without fail, every time I read The Long Game and I get to the proposal, I start goofy grinning. But when the ring doesn't fit Ilya's finger and Shane says, "Nuts," I'm taken out of my fantasy and can't take them seriously anymore lol.
My Shane doesn't say "Oh nuts!" My Shane says the F word every other sentence.
Hashtag all the Shallergies posts lately about peanuts reminded me of my least favorite line in the book 😂
unfortunately i dont think its queerbaiting if the creator is just so terminally heterosexual that they never remotely considered the same gender relationship their show is centered around could be read as romantic. it is deeply painful however.
laughing about the idea of yuna and david trying to make bb shane a little bit more well-rounded and not SO laser focused on hockey by getting him into violin lessons or art something only to find out that he's allergic to rosin and oil paints
and bb shane who didn't want to do this in the first place but didn't know how to say no is just "oh no :) so sad :) guess i have to just do hockey again :)"
The crucial thing though is that Shane (canonically) DOES NOT KNOW how much OR how little his emotions show on his face.
Like, he thinks the ":)"s in this response are just in his head, and that he's not literally in the hospital beaming at his parents as he says "I guess I can't play violin anymore."
... They get the memo.
baby shane while wearing an oxygen mask in a hospital bed and covered in hives as he is SO sad about how he can't do music class anymore
we bought a shirt at a thrift store that says "best mom in louisiana" for some reason (as a reminder we are in midwest germany) and now my spouse keeps walking around the house wearing it and saying shit like "WHO STANDS BEFORE THE GREATEST MOM OF LOUISIANA?"
being an everything crafter is great but also sucks. like i want to get my watercolors out but i need to put away my microcrochet first. i want to do some leatherwork but my oil paints are on the table. i want to whittle but i'm using the bucket i catch wood shavings in to hold my papermaking mush. i want to write my book but my hands are too busy knitting a sweater. i want to code another video game but i'm too busy studying nalebinding. do you see my problem. the problem is that i need more hands
This is how I realized i was neurodivergent. My diagnosis of ADHD shocked no one.
It lives in the arcade and leaves sticky little footprints on the linoleum. Naming it Gumble
HE!!!!!!!!!!!
pen you’re on the jumbotron again 😭😭😭
ALL MUST HEAR THE GOSPEL OF SHALLERGIES
the way shane SHOVED his way through the door at their second hookup does always make me cackle imagining the one time he does that and ilya doesn't move back fast enough and just gets fucking NAILED with the door.
man shows up to the bus the next day with a bruise across his temple and cheek and everyone is just ??? rozy?? what happened??? did someone come after you after??? you didn't even run your mouth THAT much in this match???
and t GOD ilya is a pro at just making things up on the spot because even if he and hollander WEREN'T secret, there is no way in HELL he is going to admit to sporting a shiner because he just didn't get out of the way of a door fast enough.
"you already left kudos here"
And??? Let me like it again??? Clearly it deserves more??
the novelty of having pets really does never wear off i’ve had my cat for ten years and i still look at him strolling around like can you believe this. a cat. is everyone seeing this. he’s alive he has bones and all. unbelievable
cackling about the idea of the ottawa team doing challenges for social media because shane's first question would be, "how many did rozanov get?" and ilya's first question would be, "how many did my husband get?" because they want to beat anyone, but they ESPECIALLY want to beat each other
which means that over time, new challenges for each of them get prefaced with, "and your husband has not gone yet" or "your husband got X" because it is a GIVEN that they're going to want to know how the other did so they can try to beat him
and it's really just another point of evidence that at NO POINT did either of them ever consider letting the other person win ANYTHING
you think the motherfuckers locking the FUCK in to catch the most ping pong balls blindfolded are going to let the other win a deciding match for the cup?? be SO fucking for real
