Oh, Captain, my Captain.

Just a space businessman. With business. In space.

[dontcallmejar]

So, I’m gonna tell you guys a little story. Not my usual type of story, though. There are no spaceship captains and lost princes fucking. This isn’t that type of story.

You see, when I was sixteen, I met this guy. He was…well, to be honest, I totally thought he was a serial killer. His attitude…

[justaspacebusinessman]

Your freaking out on me makes sense now, actually. I’m coming over.

[dontcallmejar]

You aren’t pissed? I expected raging. Why aren’t you raging? Wait, are you coming over to rage at me? If so, I’m sure the raging can wait until tomorrow morning? Or afternoon, rather. After I’ve had my coffee and have fully awakened and can brace myself for the raging.

[justaspacebusinessman]

Mostly I’m being impressed with our ability to fall for each other twice. But if you’d rather I rage…? Also, you aren’t “that kid who tags along" to me. I’ve evidently been complete shit at letting you know how much I like having you near me. I’m sorry you ever felt that way, and will do what I can to fix it. Maybe if you stayed over for a few nights? Would that work?

[dontcallmejar]

Maaaaaaaaybe. I dunno, man, it might take a LOT of nights of me staying over to fully convince me that you want me around. Like, a whole lot.

[justaspacebusinessman]

I'm sure we can work something out. Now get off your computer and clear off the piles of unfolded clothes I just know you have on your bed. When I get there, I'd rather not wait for you to put them away. So, unless you want to have to rewash them...

[dontcallmejar]

So, I’m gonna tell you guys a little story. Not my usual type of story, though. There are no spaceship captains and lost princes fucking. This isn’t that type of story.

You see, when I was sixteen, I met this guy. He was…well, to be honest, I totally thought he was a serial killer. His attitude…

[justaspacebusinessman]

Your freaking out on me makes sense now, actually. I’m coming over.

[dontcallmejar]

You aren’t pissed? I expected raging. Why aren’t you raging? Wait, are you coming over to rage at me? If so, I’m sure the raging can wait until tomorrow morning? Or afternoon, rather. After I’ve had my coffee and have fully awakened and can brace myself for the raging.

[justaspacebusinessman]

Mostly I'm being impressed with our ability to fall for each other twice. But if you'd rather I rage...? Also, you aren't "that kid who tags along" to me. I've evidently been complete shit at letting you know how much I like having you near me. I'm sorry you ever felt that way, and will do what I can to fix it. Maybe if you stayed over for a few nights? Would that work?

[dontcallmejar]

So, I’m gonna tell you guys a little story. Not my usual type of story, though. There are no spaceship captains and lost princes fucking. This isn’t that type of story.

You see, when I was sixteen, I met this guy. He was…well, to be honest, I totally thought he was a serial killer. His attitude...

[justaspacebusinessman]

Your freaking out on me makes sense now, actually. I'm coming over.

[justaspacebusinessman]

I agree with the last anon. You can't really put is past you until you KNOW how he feels. Maybe you're right and yr RL guy doesn't feel the same about you, but what if he does? You won't be able to move on until you know for sure. It's hard to talk about our feelings to the people we have feelings for, but it feels better after, even if we don't get our happy ending.

I don't understand this reasoning. "You're already miserable, so you might as well go do something that will result in more misery because maybe there's a slim chance that the day won't end in homicide!"

[justaspacebusinessman]

Both you and dontcallmejar are fucking hopeless and drowning in your own sorrows. I feel like I should shake you both and call you idiots and then shove you in the right direction on what to do.

I'm sorry?

[justaspacebusinessman]

How could he not like you? You're a delicious pastry of dry wit filled with a gooey center of sweetness and loyalty. How could he not want to take a bite? I'm drooling even with the many layers of tumblr obscuring my view. I bet you smell fantastic. ;)

I hope I'm blueberry-flavored. I like blueberries.

[justaspacebusinessman]

Right, I'm sending this to my favourite blogs because I want lots of good answers. So my friend is totally against Jarnan - she ways that Tiernan doesn't deserve Jarrett because he's all stoic and broody and Jarrett deserves someone like Kelson - bright and sweet and confident. I think she's missing the whole point of Jarnan's conection - that shared darkness combining to heal each other. Kelson could never appreciate that. Thoughts?

I think you nailed it, so I don't know what more I could say. Kelson is an aristocrat, and he has never had to experience the things Jarrett and Tiernan have.

[justaspacebusinessman]

Positive question time! What's your fondest memory of the past five years? It can be funny, embarrassing-but-we-laugh-about-it, bittersweet, something you like to think about when things get shitty... ANYTHING. I bet you have one coming to mind right now, don't you?

How pathetic am I that most of the ones to come to mind involve him?Ok, let's see... Our friends Boyd and Erica had just announced their engagement, and somehow someone got champagne (must have been Allison, because she was the only one besides me able to purchase it). He (my guy, as we are calling him) got rather tipsy and insisted that he had to dance with the bride to "bless the union." We tried to tell him she wasn't a bride yet, but he waved us off and shouldered Boyd out of the way, and proceeded to dance with Erica. There was no music. He just danced some drunk approximation of a waltz with her, obviously stepping on her toes most of the time. They were both laughing so much. Everyone was laughing. They all looked so happy. I wanted them to always be that happy.

[dontcallmejar]

justaspacebusinessman replied:

I don’t know. Why?

______________

Because I’d not forgive me if I was you. I was kind of a dick. Unintentionally so, but still. I mean, if I was in your place, I’d be…

[justaspacebusinessman]

Probably because it wasn’t you.

[dontcallmejar]

See?! You’re fucking PERFECT. You say these things! These stupidly sweet things! And I bet if you literally said it, it would be with a straight face, and serious eyebrows and you’d just say it so matter-of-factly. Like, anyone else would say it like a cheesy pick-up line, complete with sleazy smile, but not you! It’s just a statement of motherfucking FACT to you.

And yet you think whoever it is you’re in love with wouldn’t want you?! WHY?

[justaspacebusinessman]

Oh, I think he wants me. Just not in the way I want him. I can tell he finds me attractive, but he’s made it clear that he’d rather look elsewhere for a relationship.

[dontcallmejar]

Well, but that’s a start, yeah? Attraction! So he’s at least somewhat interested! See! That’s good, right?

So, maybe that’s your foot in the door?

[justaspacebusinessman]

Let me get this straight. You want me to win him over. With my dick.

[dontcallmejar]

I DON’T KNOW, OK?! Look, he’s obviously a complete idiot if your suspicions are true and he doesn’t even like you, so I have no clue how to get through to him. I can’t even imagine who you could be talking about!

[justaspacebusinessman]

Well I can't imagine why this matters to you. Unless you're projecting your desire to see your guy happy onto me, and think solving my problem would be the same as solving his. Touching reply about him, by the way. I see the Tiernan-like guys really are your type.

[justaspacebusinessman]

Well most of us are sitting down so I'd assume at least half are in fact on crack, yes.

Cute.

[justaspacebusinessman]

Only half? You really haven't explored the internet very much, have you?

Not really, no.

[justaspacebusinessman]

Do you think your RL guy has any idea how you feel about him? Have you given him any clues? A lot of times these things can be solved with a simple conversation, it doesn't have to be this complicated. I know it's scary, but if you love him, isn't it worth the risk? If he's as amazing as you say, wouldn't he still want you in his life regardless?

I'm not sure he WANTS me in his life, now. We were kind of thrown into something together and ended up reluctant friends because of it. Like I've said before, I don't think he really even likes me all that much.

[dontcallmejar]

justaspacebusinessman replied:

I don’t know. Why?

______________

Because I’d not forgive me if I was you. I was kind of a dick. Unintentionally so, but still. I mean, if I was in your place, I’d be…

[justaspacebusinessman]

Probably because it wasn’t you.

[dontcallmejar]

See?! You’re fucking PERFECT. You say these things! These stupidly sweet things! And I bet if you literally said it, it would be with a straight face, and serious eyebrows and you’d just say it so matter-of-factly. Like, anyone else would say it like a cheesy pick-up line, complete with sleazy smile, but not you! It’s just a statement of motherfucking FACT to you.

And yet you think whoever it is you’re in love with wouldn’t want you?! WHY?

[justaspacebusinessman]

Oh, I think he wants me. Just not in the way I want him. I can tell he finds me attractive, but he’s made it clear that he’d rather look elsewhere for a relationship.

[dontcallmejar]

Well, but that’s a start, yeah? Attraction! So he’s at least somewhat interested! See! That’s good, right?

So, maybe that’s your foot in the door?

[justaspacebusinessman]

Let me get this straight. You want me to win him over. With my dick.

[justaspacebusinessman]

-sends you pizza and donuts also protein powder and tofu in case you're secretly a health fanatic and hate pizza and donuts are you a health fanatic you seem like one anyways enjoy the food I guess if you don't like it just set it outside your door with a snail two thumbtacks and a piece of green paper folded into a triangle and it'll be taken care of-

I'm starting to suspect half the people on this site are on crack.

[dontcallmejar]

justaspacebusinessman replied:

I don’t know. Why?

______________

Because I’d not forgive me if I was you. I was kind of a dick. Unintentionally so, but still. I mean, if I was in your place, I’d be…

[justaspacebusinessman]

Probably because it wasn’t you.

[dontcallmejar]

See?! You’re fucking PERFECT. You say these things! These stupidly sweet things! And I bet if you literally said it, it would be with a straight face, and serious eyebrows and you’d just say it so matter-of-factly. Like, anyone else would say it like a cheesy pick-up line, complete with sleazy smile, but not you! It’s just a statement of motherfucking FACT to you.

And yet you think whoever it is you’re in love with wouldn’t want you?! WHY?

[justaspacebusinessman]

Oh, I think he wants me. Just not in the way I want him. I can tell he finds me attractive, but he's made it clear that he'd rather look elsewhere for a relationship.

[justaspacebusinessman]

I just want to help cheer you up, because from what I can see through internet its something that couldn't hurt. Can I send a puppy in my place? I'm serious, I will train it then fly it down. Puppies are awesome.

No dogs, please. Thank you.

[justaspacebusinessman]

I'm guessing you're not a dog person. Any reason why?

We don't usually get along.