Carry On

Oh, I didn't expect any company. Uh, I'm in a lot of fandoms, I need a lot more sleep then I get, and uh...thats about it.

[demilypyro]

The opposite of a mansion murder mystery where everyone present is a bounty hunter who really wants to take credit for the murder and the detective has to find out who really did it

[demilypyro]

[redphienix]

Assistant: "What about the gunpowder found at the scene?"

Detective: "I thought about that as well! But as you can see from the bullet wound, it was clearly done posthumously."

Assistant: "Remarkable find! But why would someone shoot a corpse?"

*Bounty hunter 'Gun shootman' tossing his hat on the ground and stomping it as he rips up the contract he hoped to cash in on fulfilling*

[statboosts]

Femme fatale: his ink bottle was knocked over detective. I dont know if that means anything but its all i could find. *coquettishly turns and shows off ink stains on dress*

Detective: The victim was murdered in the lounge actually so i don't think there should have been any ink there at all

Femme fatale: *takes off heels and throws them through the glass window*

[haberdashing]

In the end it’s revealed that the “victim” died of natural causes

[assiraphales]

night at the museum is a franchise I wouldn’t have gotten sick of. they could have tried shoving 8 sequels and an animated series down my throat and I would have ate that shit up

[assiraphales]

the main cast is a night guard, an egyptian pharoah, sacagewea, teddy roosevelt, genghis khan, a miniature cowboy and roman ruler duo, a capuchin monkey, and a moai rock for godsake!!!!!!!!

in the second movie there was a scene where al capone ivan the terrible napoleon an egyptian and darth vader and oscar the grouch interact. ben stiller walks into a painting. the abraham lincoln memorial comes to life. the lil roman rides a squirrel into battle. the thinker is a fuck boy. like holy shit holy SHIT!!

[assiraphales]

this screenshot ALONE should make these movies worth your time

[m0thwash]

Yo we know that duo was gay as all hell tho

[assiraphales]

it took me a second to realize you were referring to the cowboy & roman and not oscar the grouch and darth vader

[geniusoflove]

i want to peg his heart 😔❤

[geniusoflove]

all my friends are funnier than me n im sick of it

[shittymoviedetails]

If you look closely, you’ll notice that next to “Spider-Man” it says “TM” which stands for “Tobey Maguire”, confirming his participation in the spider-verse.

[shittymoviedetails]

Did you know that in the movie Dune. The sand worm is played by Christian Bale. He gained over 350,000 lbs for the role.

[narwhalsarefalling]

oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years

[narwhalsarefalling]

okay SO. i have two professors that both teach this one subject, but different classes. they have different last names, so i didnt know this at first and espically since they are academic RIVELS at my school, but they are MARRIED. but for the past 8 years they have been in an academic WAR of geospatical sciences data. more accurately, the raster vs vector data debate. i am personally on the side of "both have their pros and cons and can be utalizied to the utmost efficency" but both professors are like, DEADLOCKED in insistanting one is better then the other

so, professor A is my mentor. i like him a lot, and he was the main person that taught me the most abotu Eris and ArcGIS. professor B is a professor i had one for class, and shes nice and knows a lot of little tricks about Eris programming but mostly relies on arcMAP because shes the raster data professor.

and THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. have written no less then 30 papers that is basically like a "re: re: re: re: re: re: vector data is better then raster fuck you" but like, Professionally. and they leave stupid notes in the footnotes that read "Reguardless of Professor A's opinions reguarding the efficency of Vector data, Raster data has a more efficant polygon computing rate and is the most commonly used program on interplantaring mapping" and its HILARIOUS

[narwhalsarefalling]

ive read all of their papers, and its basically like reading an email chain between a married couple arguing over the colors of the kitchen backsplash for their new home. its HILARIOUS. but obviously, because of their differnet last names and because they act like they HATE each other, NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE REALIZES THEYRE MARRIED

until like LAST WEEK

[narwhalsarefalling]

professor B publishes a paper that casually drops the word "husband"

and obviously all the students are like "oh i didnt know u were married!" because we read that shit like how white suburban mothers read People Magazine

[narwhalsarefalling]

and shes like "yeah, its Professor A"

[narwhalsarefalling]

and we all FLIPPED. THE FUCK. OUT

[narwhalsarefalling]

we thought the framed picture of the two of them on professor A's desk was ironic because hes that type of guy

[narwhalsarefalling]

like, you gotta undestand. these two have gotten into YELLING matches in hallways. these two refuse to go onto trips with each other. but apparently they have a system where they quite LITERALLY leave all of their work at work and drive home in seperate cars and literally NEVER mention work at home. it is SO funny

[beez-n-crackers]

[catchymemes]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[dar-draws]

my skater girl Diana agenda 

[bagofbonesmp3]

maybe I'm just a hater but why is this logo so ugly

[bagofbonesmp3]

so happy we all agree

[notvoid]

HOLY SHIT MY TURNIP PRICES ARE SO HIGH

[doggosource]

[exit-path]

so i accidentally went down a wikipedia rabbit hole and came across the funniest thing that's apparently been plaguing scientists for centuries

[exit-path]

it's called "maxwell's demon" and it's so easy to learn but difficult to disprove. basically a tiny demon controls a trapdoor, letting some particles through, and eventually it changes the temperature of two gases without applying any work. the fact that actual physicists are fighting over this 💀

but most of all imagine the tiny demon that's doing all this. all of this impossible effort and for what. why is he doing this. what does he gain

[exit-path]

*does a gay little violation of classical thermodynamics that pisses you off*

[sexhaver]

sometimes i remember the saddest picture ive ever taken, which was when my frat's 4-foot tall custom-made 30-year-old bong was accidentally broken by our house president because he was on 4 different hallucinogens and a handle of smores vodka. rip king

[sexhaver]

squatting on the arm of a couch in a stance we referred to as "gargoyling the bong"

[sexhaver]

1.

2. you literally have to take a shower with the bong

[sexhaver]

sometimes we called it Napoleon around people who hadn't seen it before so they expected it to be short and then when they saw it and were surprised we'd be like "what? it's the same height as Napoleon"

[thecolorofthegame]

Drinks a bunch of vodka and kills Napoleon? Was this your roommate???

[sexhaver]

no this is him

[dankmemeuniversity]

[tracingstarlight-archive]

awww, thank you so much! :)

[tracingstarlight-archive]

by talos this can't be happening

[hungry-skeleton]

Me: *catches another sea bass*

Game: hey this gives me an idea! You just learned the sea bass pie recipe :D

Me after almost two years of sea bass torment realizing what this means:

[hungry-skeleton]

Y'all don't understand how funny these tags are together

[ex0skeletal-undead]

Western by Roman Chaliy

This artist on Instagram