Something About Eternal Happiness

I'm rarely late and I enjoy a nice pair of slacks.

[adhighdefinition]

i hate when you miss the “falling asleep” window where you actually felt tired enough to fall alseep right on the spot but minutes later your brain is back to its normal noisy self and so you won’t be able to fall asleep for another few hours

[powerfulwizard]

Kermit doesn’t have a nose or lips but he conveys more emotion than any human

[powerfulwizard]

[annabellioncourt]

[prussianmemes]

[thatsaltysmallhuman-deactivated]

[homunculus-argument]

cat: hey you gonna eat that?

human: uh, that’s a rat. They’ve been showing up ever since we started harvesting grain. We don’t eat them, they eat our food.

cat: free game then. Cool.

human: be my guest.

cat: hey is this spot free? It looks warm and I need a place to have my litter.

humans: this is my house. Feel free, I guess, just don’t get stepped on.

cat: hey can you watch my kittens for me? I need to hunt and I don’t want predators finding them.

human: holy shit these buggers are cute. Nothing will happen to them.

cat: I am going to climb on your lap now and you are going to love me.

human: I’m ok with this.

[sailor--spoon]

HEY JUST TO REMIND EVERYONE: CATS DOMESTICATED THEMSELVES AND WE ARE JUST LUCKY THAT THEY CHOSE TO HAVE US IN THEIR LIVES

[microcroft]

kinda mad because op managed to summarize the domestication of cats in a single post what it took me a 10+ page research paper to explain

[catchymemes]

[teenscoolest]

[stimman4000]

please stop using being a top or a bottom as a personality trait if you’ve never had sex in your life please im begging you im on my knees begging you

[stimman4000]

also if you’re a child or young teen pleaseee don’t use those words to describe yourself and stay far far away from anyone older who makes jokes about you being a top/bottom

[paci-fisticuffs]

Yeah, I get that it's a joke and all, but I've noticed an increasing number of people commenting on random stranger's selfies that they have big top energy or something, or saying weird shit about how having anxiety disorders is bottom culture and it isn't cute. Some of y'all need an occasional reminder that it's not appropriate to make unsolicited sexual comments to people you don't know well, and 'you seem like you would like it up the ass' is definitely a sexual comment.

[feministism]

[dayslostson]

No Excuses

[bugkinz]

so my dad is a college professor and he just got alerted recently that in an effort to go “paperless,” the faculty is having their printers taken away. My dad decided to take this opportunity and… create a meme? So he goes proudly up to me and tells me “I created a meme!!!” and lo and behold…

my dad’s first meme

he was so proud of it and he emailed it individually to other faculty and nobody gave him any acknowledgement, he came into my room all sad. pls share to give my father the meme support he deserves

[pomixart]

What if Crowley had given the wrong note to Azi?

[rodnt]

[windynebula]

[Cat meows, but it’s been autotuned]

[cinnamonandchlorine-deactivated]

this is my favourite video on the internet

[love]

His pledge to her:

i will kill the spiders. i will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. i won’t ever pop my collar. i will never be rude to your tummy- when i hear it growl and gurgle. i promise to bend down and reply respectfully. i will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. i will kiss the papercuts. and the door-slammed finger, and the counter-bumped hip. i’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. i will be the big spoon. i will let you win at wrestling, sometimes. other times i will not. i will go faster. harder. i will pull when you want. and tease you when you don’t. i will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. not always. not on schedule. just whenever i want to. whenever i think you need one. or seven. i will check your tire pressure. and remind you to take your car in. i will hold your hand. i will love you.  i will love you. i will love you.

[exigencelost]

Okay look. Stephanie Meyer contributed four (4) cool things to the contemporary fantasy genre, which I shall now list here in the hopes of getting it out of my system. In descending order of importance:

1. Writing a story about a girl who wants something. Plot driven by a woman’s (non-vilified) desire. Truly dreadful execution but still a good idea, sort of a literary incarnation of the “he a little confused but he got the spirit” meme.

2. The fact that when Bella becomes a vampire she can still breathe but “there’s no relief tied to the action” which I remember verbatim because it fucking slapped. The idea of human physical sensations being partially defined by our mortality and the sensations still exist after you become undead but your experience of them is fundamentally different because you no longer need any of it? Extremely cool. The closest Meyer came to taking an interesting stance on vampires being dead.

3. Werewolves are immortal but they can literally stop whenever they want. That shit’s hilarious. Curse of immortality who.

4. The fact that vampires don’t sleep or get tired so their communally-raised baby doesn’t have a crib because she is always in someone’s arms. That was extremely cute and there’s a different, better book contained somewhere in that specific concept.

[hugintheraven]

5. Depression being represented by like 6 blank chapters titled with months.

[peach-foxgloves]

No one ever tell me anything bad about the person who runs this account.

[rosesmomhasgotitgoingon-deactiv]

the person who runs this account, Katie Gouldin, is an evolutionary biologist who has an EXCELLENT podcast called Creature Feature which compares and contrasts the weird behaviors of man and beast! she is super cute and funny too!

[lavender-lily]

oh thank GOD

[cat-memes-only]

This is art

[treacle-a]

[princesstigerbelle]

NICE

[spinningyarns]

If I caption this “I can haz cheezburger?” do you think the fabric of time and space will rip and we’ll be flung violently back into our own past?

[jenroses]

At this point being flung back that far might well be worth it.

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[glumshoe]

Everyone loves polite villains to contrast with brash and sarcastic heroes, but consider the dynamic of polite villains clashing with equally well-mannered heroes. It’s very good. Very civil. Very alienating to everyone around them.

[aprilslady]

"You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you"

"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die"

[glumshoe]

Two people very courteously trying to murder each other is delightful to read or watch.

[timeandspacelord]

“You mean, you’ll put down your rock and I’ll put down my sword and we’ll try to kill each other like civilized people?”

The Princess Bride is clearly the best example of this, no I will not be taking criticism at this time

[twocubes]

she knocked that smug look off my face but luckily i was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath

[theheartbrokenlibertarian]

why is that so fuckin funny