Piece of Shit

But that's okay, I'll live.

[drinkpisspissblood]

Every time I talk to my roommate I feel my pineal gland calcify and my third eye close a little bit more

[drinkpisspissblood]

Last night she asked me how many days there are in a year and I said “why do you not know that?” and she said “why the fuck would I need to know that?”

[drinkpisspissblood]

She’s getting ready for work rn while listening to the Carrie Underwood song from the Super Bowl at full volume

[drinkpisspissblood]

She keeps hanging this shit up around the house

[drinkpisspissblood]

Last night she was telling me about a car accident she was in years ago and she said they had to use the “jar of live” and I was like. Do you mean the jaws of life and she said “you don’t know what the jar of life is?”

[drinkpisspissblood]

She’s sitting next to me scrolling through a facebook meme page scream laughing and showing me literally every post and saying “what’s wrong? Are you okay” if I don’t laugh hard enough

[drinkpisspissblood]

We’re at her dads house it looks like this

[anarchohellenism]

This is like the straight equivalent of Get Out

[justawholeassbitch]

One of my avatars on another blog was deleted. It was just a picture of my T-shirt, whereas the avatar on this blog is actually me almost naked. Explain yourself, Tumblr.

[sixpenceee]

Demon 👿 🎨credit: Fun Fact Comics

[sosuperawesome]

Jonna Hyttinen on Instagram

Follow So Super Awesome on Instagram

[fireballat5thlevel-deactivated2]

please may i have some coochie

[fireballat5thlevel-deactivated2]

[gaycism]

[rainbowgazes-archive]

I love how the search function on this site is absolute garbage. I can look up a post word for word and I will NEVER find it

[simons-quest-deactivated2019091]

[fangirlsjustwannahavefun]

I had a date tonight with a girl I’ve been seeing and we were talking about tattoos and I mentioned wanting one of a bumblebee behind my ear and she stared at me for a second and then pulled back her hair and showed me a tattoo of a bumblebee behind her ear and lemme tell you if I didn’t believe in soulmates before I sure as hell do now that’s some next level shit

[nudityandnerdery]

Well this is just entirely in character for both of them.

[frostedpuffs]

iM???? kkshd;bgdjsmmsnd;sn;

[threshie]

An orc wrote this.

[nameless-inklings]

An orc who knows how to treat a lady

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

It’s sad Im watchin this girl grow up,   As the problems continues to be ignored 🙏🏾💯

[krokodile]

i think one of my favorite thing about bob’s burgers is bob’s complete lack of gay panic (or transphobia, depending on how you interpret marshmallow’s gender).

- bob picks up transvestite hookers in his cab.  they good-naturedly flirt with bob, and he just good-naturedly flirts back (”hey, who’s picking up who?”) 

- linda makes a joke about him being gay for torpedo jones, and there’s no declaration of “what no i’m not gay!!!!” or even a hint of acknowledgement of bob’s heterosexuality.   

- he’s gotten into some weirdly, awkwardly homoerotic moments with mr. fischoeder and seems more amused than anything else. 

- marshmallow shows up in the restaurant, and linda gleefully declares it a fulfillment of a premonition of a “tall, dark and handsome” visitor.  bob points out “marshmallow’s not handsome, she’s beautiful!” 

- louise suggests bob wishes to marry sandy “can can” frye and become “bob can can.”  bob’s response is to simply scoff, “i wouldn’t take his name.”  no mention of “i’m not gay, louise.” 

- gene may be canon genderfluid, or he may just be experimenting with life, but either way, bob has never once told him to “man up” or that he can’t, say, dress as queen latifah for halloween, be in a girl group or identify himself as bob’s daughter.  sometimes you see him thinking “man, my kids are weird,” but he rolls with it every time.  

i’m sure there are other examples i’m forgetting, and it’s part of a larger reason i like this show; the fact that people by and large treat each other with respect (even louise, agent of chaos, wouldn’t out a kid as a bedwetter).  and it’s still funnier than anything else on television. 

[beardqueer-deactivated20191027]

the conversation with the deli worker in the supermarket during the thanksgiving episode is basically concrete proof that bob is bisexual

[toothmuncher3000]

he said “you’re getting the wrong idea, I’m straight.. well, mostly straight, but I’m married”. That’s a paraphrase, but he definitely said “mostly straight”.

[singularity-they]

yeah he 100% said he’s ‘mostly straight’

[gh0stcity]

One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.

[gh0stcity]

For example, I’ve watched someone walk on to a plane with no passport. Just walked right on.

[jennitheodd]

Once walked out of a dude’s house with a pair of his pants slung over my shoulder. Did all the usual eye-contact, saying-goodbye movements and noises, just… while stealing his pants. He did not notice. 

[razorlightt-deactivated20161221]

I told my English teacher that she graded my final paper(I did not turn one in) and that she told me it was well written. She scrambled 3 days trying to find the nonexistent paper, then apologized to me for losing it and gave me a 96%. Confidence is key

[whiskey-and-a-wry-smile-blog]

my dad’s mate just walked out of a shop with a canoe and didn’t get questioned

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

Humans are like bees: if they sense you’re an intruder all hell will break loose, but if you get inside the hive they just assume you belong there. Be confident.

[minero-tan]

Bee confident

[88thparallel]

This is funny but also true, and a huge tip when traveling. Act like you belong, and you won’t be bothered like other tourists might. Especially on public transportation… do your research ahead of time and look like a disinterested commuter and you’ll blend right in.

[butterfly-bandaid]

Fun Fact about Bees: they use pheromones to communicate and the pheromone to signal ALARM is the same chemical that makes bananas smell like bananas so if you eat a banana and then breathe on a beehive you will regret it and this seemed relevant when i started writing it

[lilygoat]

[superselected]

Orapeleng Modutle Style Avenue Creates Stunning Bridal Lookbook.

[striderepiphany]

This is the funniest joke I’ve ever made 

[incorrectedda]

It’s time to make yourself proud… and everyone else a little nervous.

Freyja, probably. (via incorrectedda)