Justcantdoitcaptain @justcantdoitcaptain - Tumblr Blog

lesbian-toddhoward

never forget the elijah wood wigs interview

tyltos

Best summary of lord of the rings I've ever seen.

forgotn1

My favorite part is that this isn't a summary of lord of the rings. It only covers the Fellowship of the Rings. They're nowhere near Mordor yet. lol

crazy-brazilian

paper-rose-doodles

honestly frodo’s journey is so wild

like, imagine your uncle goes missing after his birthday party, and his old stoner friend from out of town tells you the souvenir he brought back from a vegas trip 80 years ago is actually satan’s mood ring and now zombie assassins are coming to burn down your town unless you and your lawn guy meet up with medieval hozier in a dark gastropub…

vee-vee-writes

This is the funniest synopsis of lotr I’ve ever seen

byjove

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

cryoverkiltmilk

The spiritual successor to Miette

manicgoblinnightmarewoman

Might I also add

shydestinybread

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

unyanizedcatboys

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

explorerrowan

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

dualclock

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

notcaycepollard

softdramahoe

Cat when I try to pet him: flattens to the ground like a limp crepe to escape me

Cat when I pet either of his sisters: mother has forsaken me to this wretched solitude I have never known love in all my years and fear my death will go unnoticed

ky-ju-deactivated20231122

I feel like practicing any skill would be way more fun if I could have a lil level increase thing that pops up in front of me every time I do good like in Skyrim

ky-ju-deactivated20231122

“Push ups increased to level 5”

“Writing dialogue increased to level 37”

“Coping mechanisms (healthy) increased to level 18”

nutsacktorturer

ahagia-sophia

lotrlocked

Me engaging with some of y’all on tumblr

dankmemeuniversity

xelayxes

@matzahball

dracophile

For a second I didn’t realize it meant “high” as in a stoner–I thought “High Geologist” was like a rank of geologist or something and he was insulted you would challenge him to naming stones

hamptercatapult

great poast every one👍

shirecorn

I have drawn him…. The High Geologist

syberfire117

Can’t believe he’s ace

shirecorn

He is now And here’s the photo evidence:

aphorisnt

hey guys…https://twitter.com/MatthewLillard/status/1322648148364324864 so does this make it canon?

shirecorn

the high geologist has ascended

ethanrayne

every time i see this post it gets…. better? but also weirder.

epikrat-deactivated20210507

togetherwithmistakes

The fact that this photo implies that Shaggy’s last name is Scoobydoo is sending me

link-the-feral-anon

My gods I KNOW his last name and I just accepted Shaggy Scoobydoo as his name

just-shower-thoughts

If giraffes were predators they would look both hilarious and terrifying while sneaking up on their prey

i-draws-dinosaurs

I’m afraid you’ve missed the predatory giraffes by about 66 million years mate.

These guys are Azhdarchid pterosaurs, and they were some of the strangest reptiles to ever exist. They were perfectly capable of flight, but their physiology suggests that they may have spent a significant portion of their lives hunting on the ground.

The largest of them could reach over 5 metres tall while standing, and had a 10-metre wingspan. They varied greatly in body type, from the tall, spindly forms of Quetzalcoatlus and Arambourgiania (images 4 and 1-2 respectively) to the heavy brute strength of Hatzegopteryz, a species that may have used its head to bludgeon its prey (images 2 and 3).

There has never been another flying animal before or since to have reached such incredible sizes, nor any predator so intimidatingly tall. Well, not any that we know of yet.

All of these illustrations are by Mark Witton, a palaeontologist and artist who specialises in pterosaurs. This is his blog about palaeontology and the science of reconstructing extinct species. You can find out more about each of these images here, here and here.

(Oh, and by the way … these are NOT dinosaurs)

crystallineknight

What the hell these are so intimidating, why aren’t these in any dinosaur movies

i-draws-dinosaurs

Just imagine it …

The protagonists and a few disposable minor characters are walking carefully through a forest at night, covered by a thick fog. They know there are dinosaurs everywhere, but they can’t see more than three metres in front of their own faces.

Eventually they stop near a small cluster of trees to rest. As they sit there, exhausted, one of the trees begins to move. Everyone freezes, terrified. They have no idea what this thing is.

Then a massive beak slams down, longer than a person is tall, and plucks one of the minor characters off his feet and into the air.

The small group erupts into movement, frantically running away from whatever those things are. There’s two of them now, and as the fog begins to clear the group are able to make out more of their shape. They are huge, with long, spindly necks topped with a massive, daggerlike head. The long legs that they once mistook for trees have an almost mechanical movement as the giant creatures stalk towards them. And then comes the next terrible surprise.

These things can run.

s-leary

It’s a short film.

warpedellipsis

How could those things possibly fly? Could they take off from the ground or did they need a cliff like bats do?

i-draws-dinosaurs

Okay this is really bizarre and awesome but like these guys probably used their giant long wings to pole-vault themselves into the air, from a standing start no less. No run-up or cliffside needed, just some massively powerful arms to launch them skywards like the world’s most terrifying slingshot.

(The pterosaur in the video I linked isn’t an azhdarchid, but it gets the general picture across)

warpedellipsis

because it wasn’t terrifying enough already….

How does something that big have hollow bones though? Wouldn’t they break under the pressure of pole vaulting themselves?

i-draws-dinosaurs

Basically, azhdarchid bones aren’t just “hollow”. They’re actually full of an incredibly complex network of spongy strands of bone that functions almost like scaffolding to support the bones and make them a lot stronger than they would initially appear. A lot of dinosaurs, including very large ones, had this same sort of bone structure as well.

It’s a delicate balance between being light enough to fly and strong enough to take off and staying in the air, but they certainly weren’t skinny, lightweight pushovers like they’re often portrayed.

bat-demon

i dont like Any of this

heresylog

if kirby eats the communion wafers foes he become the new messiah or just gain jesus's powers?

...I dont think you understand how the Eucharist works

gunsandfireandshit

Answer the question

permaculturefarmingdesigns-deac

sputternutter-deactivated202010

I was very okay and even proud of the English for this right up until “crinkle crankle”

captainboringposts

I love that they saved that until the very last moment.

It’s like being hugged and then immediately punched in the face after.

tracing-rivers

jemariel

The fuck are you talking about, crinkle crankle was the best part

w04hxo

I legit just deleted another reblog of this to reblog this one. Youre right and you should say it

christopher-reeve

remember that time superman got totally owned by deadshot

paper-rose-doodles

honestly frodo’s journey is so wild

like, imagine your uncle goes missing after his birthday party, and his old stoner friend from out of town tells you the souvenir he brought back from a vegas trip 80 years ago is actually satan’s mood ring and now zombie assassins are coming to burn down your town unless you and your lawn guy meet up with medieval hozier in a dark gastropub…