Screaming Through a Slidey Tube

Justin. 23. Instrumental Music Ed. App State. Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia. Aspiring amature composer.

[imposterogers]

me, charging any random cat i see: cat!!!!

cat: *fucking books it*

me, hulk voice: FRIEND STAY

[chasekip]

Detective Pikachu trailer: live action growlithe!

me: yes this is what im here for i would 100% love to live in the pokemon world with these adorable monsters

Detective Pikachu trailer: live action Ludicolo!

me: ..hm….maybe….maybe not actually now that i think about it

[akirakan]

[soperasinger]

i LOVE HIM OKAY???

[insomniac-arrest]

new friend: gosh you are so intelligent and well-spoken

me: :)

me internally: you fool, that is because you are on level 2 friendship, by level 5 I will be mumbling nonsense and finishing every half-baked sentence with ‘ya know?’

[duckbunny]

basic friendship: we talk about issues in our lives and give each other advice

advanced friendship: same, but i always advise murder

[the-full-shakespearience]

Hey @r3ally-bad-url remember when you used to refer to me as “that nice British girl with the cool coat?” Now you just call me “absolute chungus” and “heinous bastard.”

[soft--dogs]

I JUST SAW A REALLY CHUNKY RACCOON ON MY WAY HOME FROM WORK

[soft--dogs]

artist’s rendition. my immediate reaction was to yell “chunky boy!!!” despite the fact i was the only one in the car

[d0gb0ys]

This has the positive, opposite energy of my day today when I passed a Canadian Goose, rolled the window down, and called it a bitch. 

[feministism]

[strengthins0lidarity]

Fun things they don’t teach you in sex ed.

[teaboot]

Talcum powder has asbestos in it. Has for years. Leave it be

[unslaad-krosis-deactivated20140]

“Tumblr is a hate-free environment!”

….

[riseofthecommonwoodpile-deactiv]

humans don’t have enough ornamentation. where’s the plumage, the antlers

[wetorturedsomefolks]

i could go for a good vibrant throat sac i could display as i sing in the mating season

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Humans have some of the most extreme hair variation over their bodies in the animal kingdom, with hair on some parts of our body a few millimetres long and fine enough to be almost invisible, and hair in other parts a good metre long if not artificially trimmed. Part of the inside of our mouths are turned out to make our lips bright red, we have comically oversized breasts and lack penis bones to make erections more indicative of impressive circulation, and have some of the most complex behavioural adaptations to self-ornamentation for courtship seen in anything that doesn’t spend half its life collecting blue bottle caps. How much ornamentation do you want?

[riseofthecommonwoodpile-deactiv]

I’d like antlers, as previously stated

[writing-prompt-s]

You turn on your PC to keep working on your novel, but to your surprise, when you open the file, it is writing itself. You read some of what has already been written and it seems your characters have created free will, and the plot is progressing without you.

[bonescaro]

“oh thank god” says the writer

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[somecutething]

[persephonesecretlair]

Squish

[aviculor]

this post is like getting a gentle kiss three times

[sridevi]

my laptop: *starts hissing and wheezing and got her fans whirring on high speed*

me:

[gif87a-com]

[dokis-for-days]

Even the language barrier doesn’t stop me from knowing the chat is both laughing at him and saying “NOOOOO” at the same time.

[ninja-pyro]

is that twelve and a half hours on a timer or is it Noon/Midnight on a clock?

[plasticlovefuture]

That is

12 hours

[ninja-pyro]

Oh god

[dicktator-cain-deactivated20181]

Yep, that’s twelve hours of progress lost. And you can see the exact moment his soul is screaming.

[ninja-pyro]

The sheer anguish is painful to look upon

[thisnameisfalse]

Google’s DeepMind AI just taught itself to walk

[danbensen]

He walked into my office like an evolutionary algorithm that had just taught itself to walk.

“Get out of here, you goofy bastard,” I told him.

[woke-butt-deactivated20181011]

it totally reminds me of that gif of an anime girl slipping on the gym floor

[the-man-who-sold-za-warudo]

anime is real

[bisexualdemondean]

Hey how many swords do u have

Sword of a lot

[antisocial-butterflies-deactiva]

Blocked

[bisexualdemondean]

Parried

[youcoolbaby]

[kryptonians]

[alayne-stonecoldfox]

[cadaverkeys]

im gonna get a huge wolf-like husky and give it a name like James or David or Sandra or something. Something really human sounding. And convince everyone who comes to my house that theyre just my friend who was cursed with lycanthropy.

[cadaverkeys]

I’m gonna renovate my guest bedroom so it looks really lived in. It’s got posters for like. Wolves and stuff on the walls. And a to do list that has stuff like “pay rent” “turn into dog” and I’m gonna put some scratch marks on the walls and the bed and a chain on the heater. And I’m gonna train the dog to sleep there so it really pulls off the whole effect. This is a really long con plan.