Chapter 2: Getting to Sleep
"Read my note yet?" His voice was just as sweet coming out as it was within my ears, flowing through me. My eyes darted towards the face, seeing him again. He was in my class. I stared at his face, watching the smile stretch across his face, and his fingers moved across my hand. I looked down and instinctively pulled back.
"No, what note?" I asked, taking a step back now to be a little more balanced and looking him over. He had completely made himself comfortable and was watching me intently with his eyes. His eyes, what were they? I watched him reach out an arm, and the next thing I knew, he pulled me closer to him. My breathing stopped, and my body lurched towards him before he started reaching over me. He began opening the flap of my bag, taking out the note, and handing it to me.
"This one. You can read it now or not." He said, placing it in my hand before turning to pick up my phone next. He placed my phone on top of my hand and waved me off. "I guess I will find out." He said, laughing awkwardly, and I could not move. Why can't I move? I watched him laugh, the way his teeth showed, and how his voice still echoed in my ears.
"Unnie, we're going to be late for lunch." I felt her hands land on my shoulders.
I'm moving now; my legs are working, but my eyes are stuck. I can see, but he was the only thing that stayed in my vision. It was as if he was painted into my eyes. His eyes, his hair, his mouth, there was something about it. I felt my legs move, but it was like a dream trance I was stuck in. The moment that the fresh fall air hit my face, it was as if I woke up. His face vanished, my body had control of itself, and everything was normal.
"What was that?" I looked towards Minji, and she had such a sly look on her face. "Do you know him? Are you guys dating?" She teased a little, and I shook my head.
"No, I just- I just met him today." I let out a breath of release and fixed my hair. "So, lunch, where is the cafe?" I tried changing the subject, and placing my phone and note in my back pocket.
"Sure," She began moving towards the right side of campus. I actually have never gone to that side of campus. This was one thing about the university. I enjoyed not having to trek across the campus since my classes were all in a general area.
We continued our walk, and I knew she was going to continue to bring him up, but I did not know when. She continued talking, asking me about my favorite music to study and places I enjoyed studying. It was not long before she was trying to schedule time for us to study together, and somehow, I found myself agreeing. She was enjoyable to be around, and her free-spirited energy was something I felt like I needed.
After a few minutes of just walking and talking, I found myself next to this little petite cafe. They had cute little booths you could sit on. We walked through the door, and I smelled coffee, pastries, and little sandwiches all through the building. I could hear my stomach growling, and she would hear it like an alarm, taking the initiative to move quickly to the front counter.
"2 coffee lattes and 2 Gilgeori sanwiches." She ordered, taking out her wallet and pulling a card out to pay. I smiled as she looked back at me. "Is this okay? I'm sorry I didn't ask what you wanted. I figured we might just have the same taste." She said.
"No, it's fine. I actually like them." I encouraged her and stood closer to her. "Next time, Unnie will pay."
I began grabbing the coffees as they came one by one, and she took ahold of the sandwiches, scanning the room and looking for the perfect booth. She chose the one closest to the window, and I found myself walking step by step behind her. She sat down excitedly, ready to eat. She picked up her first slice of sandwich before I could even sit down. Her face went into the longest side of its triangle shape before pulling back and revealing her first bite. I pushed the coffee forward to her and looked my sandwich over before taking a bite from the corner.
"So, what's his name?" She asked, her mouth showing remnants of the food in the corners of her smile.
"I honestly don't know. I met him in my lecture this morning." I told her, taking one bite.
"Wait, you met him this morning? Do you two have classes together? Wow." She looked so impressed, turning her head to think more. "What does the note say?"
"I haven't read it yet." I laid the sandwich on my plate so I could take a drink of the coffee.
"Do you think he's cute? Maybe he is into you." She nudged my foot a little under the booth, and I looked up at her.
"I-I don't know," I said shyly, thinking about how I treated him this morning. I tend to believe that it does not take long for people to not like me if they're around me long enough. I always come off as abrasive, and I can't help what my face looks like when resting sometimes.
"I think he does." She spoke very low and took another bite. "I mean, it looked like you guys had met before." I listened to her words, thinking. Did I know him? Had I never noticed someone who was around me? I guess it could be possible, especially since I hadn't noticed Minji, but she was different. I am sure that this guy, no, I haven't met him before. The more her words repeated in my head, the more I wanted to look at the note. I tried to push the thought at the back of my head, placing the sandwich to my lips and preparing to take another bite.
"How did you know you wanted to do Psychology?" I wanted to change the subject. It was getting hard to keep up with the day already, and the last thing I wanted was more complicated matters.
She would go on a small tangent, talking about how she wanted to help others from when she was a kid. Her face would light up as she continued to talk and express how much love she had for the field. It was refreshing talking to someone who knew what they wanted to do. She was even younger than me and knew what would make her happy. She shared all this enthusiastic passion she had, and it was a nice energy to be surrounded by. I found myself smiling more and talking more. This was something that I felt like I had not done in a while.
"You are really cool," I told her as I pushed my empty plate forward and took the coffee in hand.
"Not as cool as you." She smiled and then looked down at her watch. "Time to go. What's your next class?" She asked, standing up and placing her bag on her left shoulder.
"Just two seminars. What about you?" She nodded her head in understanding and thought to herself for a bit.
"Geography and Anthropology." She said and let out a shudder. "Ohh, sometimes I don't like it, but now I can look forward to it. I don't have to graduate alone. We'll be together." She grabbed my arm, and together, we walked out of the cafe.
It was kind of nice to make plans with her and think about graduation for the first time. I hadn't even thought about the possibility of graduating. I didn't plan to fully graduate. I had always thought about enrolling back after I had figured out what it was that I really wanted to do. I heard both of our laughs together, and maybe it wasn't bad to meet someone new every once in a while.
We walked back to the middle of the campus, and I waved her off as she went off into the distance. I still could not believe that I had made a new friend. All 4 years of university, I tried to stay focused and limit any distractions for my future sake. The only difference now is maybe she is influential enough. Maybe I will think of something I want to do. I watched the back of her go into the building before I tried to reevaluate my location and make my way towards my lecture hall. I went to the double doors, reaching for the handle before I saw the notebook-sized paper on the door.
'Lectures today, cancelled.'
How fun, I reached into my pocket, took my phone, and checked my email. I noticed that the professor sent an email detailing how he had fallen ill and was canceling class. Well, he was my professor for the last 2 lectures of the day, so now I guess I can study. I let out a sigh, turning around and noticing the note that was in my pocket had fallen out. I picked it up and placed it back in my bag along with my phone. I'll read it eventually. I tried to think about where I wanted to go, but I forgot I wanted to give Minji my number. I wanted to text her since she had plans to study together. I thought she and I could reconnect after she finished her class.
Well, now I was stuck, and I was looking for a place to study. The first place that came to mind was the study booth near my last class, but he was there. Yeah, that was an encounter I wanted to avoid. I thought of the central building; there were plenty of places for me to study there, and I didn't have to worry about running into anyone, possibly. I started walking out of the building, making the trek back towards the central campus to the main building. When I got there, it was like a ghost town. This was what I was expecting. I made my way to the study booth and prepared myself. I took out my notebooks and my green pen, but my purple pen was now missing. Weird. I know that I put it in here.
I pulled out an extra purple pen; this one was more of a flair marker pen, but it will have to do for now. I looked to make sure I was ready, taking out the finishing touches, my earphones. I plugged them both into my ears, and began letting my book play. I began working on analyzing the poem the professor read aloud, looking at each word I wrote down. I tried to interpret the next line, but it was not making sense. I went back through looking through my notes, but now there was something I was missing, and I hated that. I paused my book. Looking at my phone, I opened the recording app and began playing the lecture.
It picked up late, but I began listening and correcting my notes. It was like experiencing the class all over again, and that was why I enjoyed recording lectures. I heard myself in the back scribbling down those words as I was doing now and listening to each line. It did not take long before I found myself finished with my assignment, but the recording of the teacher had already finished. I looked at my phone to see if it was still going; it had recorded an additional 10 minutes after I heard Minji and I leave. The door shut, and there was complete silence for a while. I wanted to fast-forward the clip, but something told me to wait. Two minutes into the clip, I heard the door open and footsteps as it approached a desk.
"Pretty girl, you're like peaches," A voice sang out, and I could feel tingles go through my spine, and I was confused. What is this?
"A soft embrace, no. It's like a soft embrace"
Someone was singing, was it him? I listened closely, thinking of his voice and trying to compare it to every word I was hearing.
"Feels good to be the bad guy," I could hear writing at that point. Is this him? I listened more but could only hear humming at that point. I heard what sounded like paper ripping and balling it up.
"No, no, she won't like that." His voice carried, and I could hear him get up and walk away from the desk. I heard pacing back and forth, waiting patiently. The humming started again, and I listened. The tone and beat had completely changed, maybe something different.
"Because I'm too wicked, I want to take your heart. Don't you worry?" The words came out, and I could hear the humming continue. His feet made their way back over to the desk. I heard his pencil moving, and the humming kept going. I wondered what he was writing, and before I knew it, I heard.
"Just stop trying. She won't like it." I heard his voice sound defeated. I waited, eager to hear anything more, but the next sound was not what I expected. "What is this?" I heard a shift in the entire audio before it completely cut off.
Did he see that it was recording? What happened? I touched the screen, checking the audio, and it was cut off. He ended the clip. I thought back to when I entered the classroom, my head going through the entire scene. Was I the 'she' he was referring to? I thought for a second, my face getting hot when I thought about the moment he grabbed my hand. The way his hand brushed over my skin. I touched my face, my cold hands cooling it down. His words were all repeating in my mind.
He had not even spoken to me that much. I thought back to our conversations. They had not been that long. I think we'd spoken no more than 20 words with each other. His words, though, were stuck in my brain, and I liked them. The first words he spoke popped into my brain, the way he 'Is this seat available?' Thinking back to when I looked up at him and how he looked. For a moment, I could not help but think about him for a second. I caught myself thinking a little too hard about him, breaking out of my trance and sitting up straight. I took a deep breath, thinking about the note that was burning a hole in my bag.
I reached inside of my bag, pulling out the note, and I knew he wanted me to read it, but I was scared. In my mind, this was nothing like something I would have normally done, and I wondered what was so good about him that I couldn't act normal. I looked up. Maybe I should just throw it away, but the thought made my grip tighten on the note. I took a deep breath, pulling the note closer into my body. It's not that big of a deal. I can read a note. The thought of reading it made his voice play in my head. I couldn't hold back a small smile at the thought of what he might have looked like singing in the room. I opened the note, looking up briefly to check my surroundings. I guess everyone who needed to be in class was there. I looked down, and the soft, sweet boom of his voice sang out loud as my eyes scanned the note.
'Tell me something about yourself. What kind of sweets do you like? What about animals?
P.S. Write back and pass it to me in class.'
Write him back? WRITE HIM BACK? Tell him something about me. What does that mean? Sweets? Animals? Why does he want to know this? I sighed. I don't know what I expected, but I thought my heart would be more excited. I mean, my brain is definitely more excited. I looked at the note, and I could hear his voice playing again. I listened to every word, and I just liked the way they sounded coming from his mouth.
I looked down at my bag sitting next to me, placing the note inside before pulling my phone close to me. I looked at the recording file, pulling the knob back a bit. I couldn't help but listen; why was it stuck in my brain. Before I knew it, one of my earphones was pulled out. I looked quickly, seeing Minji putting it in her ear.
"What are you listening to?" She asked, placing it in her ear, and I rushed to try to stop the file, but there was no use. "What artist is this? I like it?" I stopped the recording, reaching for my earphones from her.
"No one, it was nothing." She placed it in my hand, and I took the other out. "Hey, uh, why are you here?" I placed both in the case, starting to put them in my bag.
"I have a class just up the hall. What about you?" I flipped my phone and looked up to see her smiling.
"Oh, my lectures were cancelled. I just came to start studying." She looked down and noticed it was for our-
"Korean Lit and Language! We can study together. Wanna come over to my house?" She asked, plopping herself next to me and looking at my notes.
"Uh, sure. I'm done for the day. What is your next class?" I asked, and she groaned and threw her body back against the couch.
"Anthropology. I want to skip, but I can't." She sat up and pouted a bit. "Unnie, will you wait for me?" I smiled and could not hold back a laugh. I opened my phone, closed the apps, and handed it to her.
"Here, I'll text you." She took my phone excitedly. I watched her type in her number and add her name before quickly posing for a picture.
"Come here!" She pulled me close, and I looked up towards the camera.
She was using a cute little filter, and I posed with a small heart on my fingers. She took the picture, and I thought it was a nice picture. She finished and handed it to me.
"Here." She placed it in my hand and stood back up. "Okay, I'll get going, and I will see you later." She waved before leaving and walking off down the hall. It looked like she was almost racing. I couldn't help but see that she was almost racing with someone else who was walking into the room. I thought about how crazily similar she was to me. Weird.
I looked down at my phone, clicked the message icon near her name, and started to text her.
'Hey, I think I might go to the cafe. I'll meet you there?'
I backed up from my messages, looking at my texts and seeing a new message. I looked at the message. Who was this?
Who was this? I looked at the number, trying to run the possibilities through my mind. I did not want to read it. I didn't need them to know that I read it. I quickly closed my phone. It was not important. I started picking up my notebooks, placing them in my bag, and grabbing my pens before stepping out of the booth. I began my trek towards the cafe, thinking about the way path she took. It was nice walking on this side of campus; it was refreshing. I stretched my arms out a bit before looking around the campus. I was actually going to be leaving here soon, and it came quicker than I thought it would.
I thought about when I first came to campus; I was so excited since I was able to attend. Remembering my aunt dropping me off on campus, she could not stop crying. She knew I would go to a university, but she was very proud I chose one that my father attended. When I first got to Seoul National University, I was just ready to learn and figure out what I wanted to do. I looked around the campus, turning around to look behind me, and it definitely looked different. I scanned the campus a little more. The cafe. I took a final glance before turning to try to figure out whether I went straight or to the right.
I turned to the right, walking and trying to reflect on my day. Particularly trying to remember when we walked there earlier in the afternoon. I saw the university bulletin board. Yes, this is the right way. I continued now, pulling my bag up on my shoulder. As I passed by the brick accent wall of the cafe, it was empty. This could not have been a better time; I smiled to myself, thinking about how peaceful it might be. I walked in, smelling all of the coffee aroma and seeing the barista walk forward to me.
"What can I get started for you?" She smiled and stood patiently at the cash register.
"Uh, can I have a regular coffee latte and-" I thought about what sounded good for me to eat, but just landed on a simple salad. "-a salad." I opened my bag, pulled out my wallet, and took out the card on top.
I handed over my card, waiting patiently before she placed it back in my hand. I put it back in my wallet and walked over to the side of the counter, waiting a bit. She handed over my salad before my coffee was placed down next to it. I grabbed my bag, fixing it on my shoulder before picking it up. I walked over to the dining area, looking at the empty window seat she and I were sitting in earlier. I placed my things down, my bag going in the seat next to me before I sat down.
How much longer will I need to wait? I looked at my phone; she probably still had an hour. I sighed, seeing her text pop up the moment I opened my phone.
I placed the phone down, taking a drink of my coffee before I took out my notebook. I needed to start planning out my research proposal. I dug down for my pen, pulling out the purple flair before writing down my topic. My topic was using the hierarchy of needs in building a civilization. I looked at my paper, and this might take a bit. I looked at the time, 53 minutes remaining. I can do a bit.
27 minutes remaining. I looked at what I was able to complete in my notebook.
I only wrote one sentence. Are you kidding me? I looked around the table and tried to think of where the time had gone. I just started, but there wasn't much time left. I looked at my empty salad bowl, lifting my empty coffee cup. Now, it's time to give up. I sighed, tearing out the notebook page and shoving everything back into my backpack. What was going on with me today? I was having this weird tug of war in luck, and now this was the bad luck. When would the good luck come again? I let another sigh escape my lips before I looked in my bag for my headphones.
I might as well read my book while I wait. That was the least that I could do for myself. I reached into my bag, hearing the door open to the cafe. I looked up, maybe Minji had gotten out early, and she came as quickly as she could. I looked at the door, locking eyes with the stranger who stared back at me before smirking a little. His face dropped, and he walked over and sat in the chair across from me.
"Kai." His hand stuck out to me, and he waited for me to shake it. I hesitated at first, sticking my hand out to meet his.
"Jennie," I said, and it made him smile.
Kai. His name was Kai. His voice repeated it in my head, and I listened to his voice again. I wanted to hear every word he said, and he pulled his hand away. I watched him stand up, walking over to the barista to place an order. Kai. I looked at him standing over the counter; this was the same guy. I thought back to the lecture hall when he pulled up a seat next to me. I replayed the moment he grabbed my arm. My heart was racing now. Maybe this was what my heart was waiting on all along, a name to be excited. His name repeated. For a moment, I thought my brain was so loud that he heard me. He turned to look in my direction, and I looked down, not wanting to be weirdly staring. I looked at the table in front of me, standing up to gather my bowl and cup. I needed to get some fresh air. I turned only to run into him.
"I can do it." He placed the coffee down, taking the trash himself. "Here, sit." He turned promptly, leaving towards the can, and I was just standing there. I sat, watching him throw it away before coming back over and having a seat. He smiled, pushing a coffee towards me and taking a sip for himself.
"What is this?" I asked, and he just pushed it closer without a word. I pulled it closer, feeling it's warmth and just holding on to it. "Can I help you?" I watched him chuckle before moving closer to the table.
"I don't know how I missed you." He said with a smile, taking another sip. I waited a little longer, hoping he would add more. "Why haven't we met before, Jennie?" He asked, looking into my eyes, but I couldn't make eye contact. I felt like he was making my heart pump out of my chest. I needed to calm down. I stared at the lid of the coffee, running my fingertips along the edges. Was there going to be more. It was quiet, so I knew he was waiting for me to continue the conversation. I collected my thoughts, but all I could muster up the courage to even respond was with a shrug. I looked up and saw his stare that was locked on me, and the moment our eyes locked, I felt my face burn.
"I don't know. I'm late to, uh, meet my friend." I moved to stand, and he stood.
"If you didn't want to talk, you could have just said it." He sighed, picking up his bag and coffee before leaving the cafe altogether.
That was not what I wanted. I just, I was nervous. I watched him walk out of the cafe. My legs lurched towards him, but I couldn't move another inch. I looked down at the coffee he had left me on the table and then back towards the door.
"So he just left, like that?" She asked, looking eager to hear more.
"Yup," I said with a sigh before taking another bite from my apple slice.
"Well, have you ever tried to talk to a guy before?" She took a melon piece, placing the small square in her mouth.
"I don't talk to anyone," I told her bluntly and watched her gasp.
"Really?" She swallowed, rolling over on her bed so she was on her stomach.
"Well, I always thought I could meet people later." I shrugged, looking at our open notebooks on her small study table in her room. I could almost feel a hole forming in the back of my head. I could only imagine what her actual reaction was.
"Well," I heard her slide off the bed and walk to me. "Well, you met me. How about I help you talk to him?" She smiled, poking my arm with her elbow.
"I thought we were studying," I told her, picking up my pen and placing it on top of my notebook paper.
"How can I study when I finally have a friend over?" She spun on her heels and fell on top of the bed once more.
"Finally? This is your first time?" I looked at her, and she started to look a little nervous.
"I mean, yeah. Kind of. No one really wants to spend time with someone who always studies." She looked up at me and shrugged it off, but I could see her eyes were not shrugging it off.
"I do," I told her. "I actually like studying." I turned back towards my notebook and began writing.
She crawled from the upper part of the bed, moving closer to the table I sat at. I looked at her, and she was staring at our phones, which were sitting in the middle of the table.
"What now?" I said, trying to lighten my mood a bit. I put my pen down and tried to focus my energy on her.
"Do you like him?" She asked quickly, and it took me by shock.
What are you supposed to say to something like that? How would I even know? I started thinking, there has to be a way to know. I started thinking about him this morning, sitting next to me and writing notes. Did he like me? I thought back to what I had said to him. He still wrote me the note. The note. He wrote a note, asking me to tell him about myself. I hadn't told Minji this, but I still did not know whether to write back or not. The note was in my mind for a while, thinking of when he would have gotten it in there. I thought about the time he grabbed my hand when I reached for my phone. Did I like him in that moment? Then, the coffee shop. Why was he everywhere? I thought back to the recording, the thought of seeing him in the room but also having the audio. It started to feel weird like I was becoming slightly obsessive. Is this what it's like to like someone? I thought a little more about it, trying to give it some final thought.
"I like his voice." The words left my mouth, and I heard her squeal.
"Really? Wait, what did it sound like? I don't remember." She groaned, hitting her brain a little bit. I thought about it but kept the thought of letting her listen to me.
I wanted to be selfish and keep it to myself, so I picked up my pen and began to write. I laid my pen on the paper, and it was like my brain had a mind of its own. I sighed, my face landing on my hand as I just let my hand work. I thought about her room, looking around her walls and how many posters she had hanging up. They were all medical posters, a brain above her bed, a skeleton next to that, and then common psychological diseases. She was very much immersed in her career path, and it was kind of inspiring. I looked at her on the bed, twirling her hair as she continued to chew on the pieces of melon.
"Hey, what are you studying?" She flipped over and looked at me.
"Oh, uh, nothing." I looked down and saw I had written his name, but she had seen exactly what I wrote.
"Kai?" She jumped up. "His name is Kai." She moved over to me and tried to pull the notebook away. "If you really like him, why don't you just talk to him tomorrow?" She shrugged, letting go of her hold.
"I actually don't have classes on Friday." I told her, and she 'ahhed' shaking her head in understanding.
It was like she ran out of options to help and sat next to me instead, slumping in a chair and staring at the fruit tray in front of her. The night pretty much progressed through; her avoiding studying until I said I would go home. She seemed like she did not want me to go, so she began making flashcards and trying to study. Apparently, she was really not a fan of anthropology, but she was studying. On the other hand, I worked on writing my proposal, trying to think of how to even begin. It did not take long before I flipped the page and began writing again.
"Come on, stay over." She begged as I stood at the door and waited for me to give her a response.
"I have to work at my aunt's shop," I told her, trying to get out the door. There was nothing like sleeping in your own room, but it was late. I was stuck in a conundrum, and she grabbed my arm.
"Please," She dragged it out, shaking my arm. I couldn't help but laugh. She was like a girl version of Tae.
"Fine." I sighed, moving back in and her cheering. She ran over to the kitchen and opened the fridge, handing me a fruity drink.
"Want to order pizza or chicken?" She opened hers before taking a sip.
"Uh, chicken," I told her, and she smiled.
"You really are my sister." She ran off to get her phone, and I could hear her trying to order.
I looked around, analyzing her place. She had told me when we first arrived how it was her parents who bought it for her. They wanted to prevent her from getting distracted, which is what I was doing. I felt a little guilty, but she was studying a little. I opened my drink, taking a sip as I watched her bring books and notebooks from the bedroom to the living room. She held the phone against her ear with her shoulder, ordering while she multi-tasked. I put the drink down, moving over to help her, but she shook her hand and shooed me away. I took a step back, grabbed my bag, and pulled my notebooks from my bag before placing them next to hers. She left the room again, going back into the room and disappearing.
I looked around the barely furnished room, how big it was with a couch and table around her T.V. I wondered if she had been living here without anyone ever coming to visit. I thought about myself. I guess I had Tae and his mom to keep me company. I sighed, taking another look around before seeing her come out of the bedroom door with a ton of blankets.
"Sleepover time!" She yelled, holding on to the blankets and pillows all in a big pile in front of her tiny body. She threw them on the couch, handing a blanket to me, along with a pillow, before making her own little area.
"What's all this?" I tried to unfold the blanket, trying to wrap it around my back.
"I usually do this on the weekends, but we can do it tonight. I like to come in here and watch T.V. while I study and eat." She smiled, organizing her notebooks and such on the table in front of us.
She leaned forward, grabbing the remote before turning on the T.V., browsing through all the channels and different networks before stopping on a drama.
"Oh, I love this actress!" She jumped and looked over at me. "What kind of shows do you like?" She asked, adjusting her body and crossing her legs.
"Uh, I don't," I told her, thinking about how I never had a T.V. I would only read books during my free time. "I've never actually had a T.V.," and she gasped.
"Never a T.V.?" She looked at the screen before looking back at me. "Well, you're always invited over to watch with me. We can have movie nights!" She smiled before hearing a knock on the door.
She got up to run, moving fast towards the door, and I got up to get our drinks to bring to the table!
"Ta-Da." She held it up towards the sky as she paraded down to the spot she had just built for herself.
I will say it was a little discouraging at first. How l chose to spend my time seemed wasteful in comparison to what was going on now. I finally had someone to spend some time with, and it was better than before. Having the opportunity to joke with someone, talk with, and study with made everything a little bit better. I had nearly forgotten the time before watching Minji slowly fall forward, the chicken still hanging in her mouth. I laughed softly to myself. She was like a little child. I pulled the piece of chicken from her mouth, moving to pick her up and move her to the couch. She was heavier than I expected, her small snores being replaced with groans of annoyance.
I dropped her upper body on the couch, reaching down and pulling her legs on as well before covering her up. I looked down at her, still crumbs around her mouth, before wiping them away. I got up, cleaning her table and trying to at least make the place a little tidier. I finished, finally sitting down and looking over the notes we were able to complete. She and I had already finished our assignment for Korean Lit, but she had moved on to anthropology before passing out shortly. I closed her books, focusing more on mine as I looked at the project from earlier. But there was something else I wanted to focus on.
I flipped to the next clean notebook page, thinking about what was on my brain I needed to write. I checked the time, trying to make sure that I got enough sleep so that I could still help Tae's mom. 2:10, being later than I anticipated, I moved back to the notebook and began writing. I looked at the page that began to fill itself up, tearing it out and ripping it up. Why did I need to write so much? I sighed, standing up to take the paper to the trash. I walked past her. There was no way she was waking up soon. I went to the kitchen trash, seeing that it was full. This could be the least that I could do for her; she bought the chicken, and I'm even spending the night. I picked up the bag, placing the paper inside, before grabbing the next bag. I walked to her doorway and put on her sandals, and they fit perfectly.
I opened the door, walked out into the yard, and headed through her gate to the garbage, standing against the next building's wall. I threw the trash in their spots, turning to walk back to the home when I noticed that someone was walking down the road. It was a tall shadow coming down the hill toward where I stood. I walked across the road, getting to Minji's gate and turning around to see the stranger as he walked by. Was that him? I turned my head a bit, trying to see if there were any distinguishing characteristics about him that I knew. His hair, maybe, but it's covered. His face, he already passed. I sighed, and before I knew it, he looked back at me. My heart raced the moment his eyes met mine; opening the gate, I ran.
I had to run; my heart was already racing, and now it had a reason. I ran up to the door, pulling it open and closing it quickly behind me. Was that him? I laid my back against the door, letting my breathing calm down, looking around the room. This is too crazy of a day. I sighed, lacing my hand on my head. I need water. I walk over to her kitchen, getting a glass to pour water. I emptied the glass, letting it rest on the counter before walking back to the table. I just need to calm down. I sat down in front of the table, looking down at my notebook. I noticed my phone light up. Catching my eye. I looked at the screen and noticed that the same number texted me again. I unlocked my phone, opening the message.
The words made my heart fall, and I couldn't move. So many things were running through my head now, and the main issue was how he got my number. He wants me to come out. It was him, and he did see me. How am I supposed to respond to this? I stood up, walking towards an extra bedroom. The room was completely empty, but it looked like she had made it into a closet of some sort. I walked over to the window, pulling back the curtain hung over it to look out, seeing his shadow standing in the night. What is he doing? He stood there, taking out his phone and looking at it. He knew I read the message, but should I go out there? I felt so defeated in this moment because the only choice I had was to walk outside. I let the curtain fall before turning and leaving. The walk to the door was the hardest, and I didn't expect a simple walk to take forever. With every step I took, my heart boomed to the point of opening the door.
The night air hit me, and I was thankful for its calming breeze. I took one more deep breath before walking out the door. I could hear him shuffling outside of the gate, and the sounds made my heart race more. I let a final sigh out before just walking to the gate and opening it. The moment that it opened, he looked at me in my eyes, and my heart was not ready for this. I let the gate slowly close behind me before laying my back on the gate. He stood there, staring at me before turning away and trying to think. I watched as his foot twitched in my direction before he just continued at that pace, falling face-to-face with me. His arm went up next to my head, he leaned down towards me, and I could see his nose, lips, and chin staring straight at me.
"Why are you doing this to me?" He asked softly, looking at me, and I could see his eyes darting from side to side. I watched his mouth open slightly before seeing his tongue touch his top lip slightly before letting out a huge sigh.
"Wh-what am I doing?" I moved slightly, looking to my right to see his arm was not budging, and I felt like I was burning up. I looked to see his eyes staring at me and my heart at this point. I was sure he could hear it. I heard his deep breath before he backed away.
"The way you're looking at me." He turned on the soles of his shoes and put his hand on his head before starting to walk away. I watched as he just walked away like that, his hands soon falling into his pockets. I watched him go further down the road before I realized he was really not coming back.
"Where are you going?" I called out to him. Of course, there was no response, and I watched him disappear before finally moving away from the gate. I opened the gate and moved into the home, closing the door behind me before letting my body slide down the door.
His eyes were all I could see and think about. I placed my hand next to my heart, thinking about how much it was racing, and it was just starting to settle. I stood up, slowly walked back over to my spot, and saw Minji still sleeping. It made me want to settle in, laying the pillow and blanket down before just letting my head fall on the pillow.
I closed my eyes, and his eyes were staring at me, causing me to jump a bit. I looked around the silent home. There was no way that I would be able to sleep now.
