Last night, during the pal’s live, I started to wonder how her OCs dealt with love. More precisely, how they handle it. If they’re the kind to show or tell or both. I don’t forcibly think about the romantic kind of love, though it does play a huge part in my questioning. But love in general. For the people closest to us, family and friends included.
Of course, what started as a simple question, a maybe fleeting one turned into more because my brain loves to escalate things.
I began to reflect on my own relationship with it, and thus how Asian people show it too since I grew up with mostly Asian principles and traditions. And beyond Laos, I noticed that a lot of Asian families rarely say “I love you.” or hug their child once they’re not kids anymore. Hell, I noticed that I rarely say it myself to the ones I love, besides my little brother. I say it more easily to my friends tho’ but still, it is rare for me to do so. I am more of a show don’t tell kind of gal. I think that I also don’t like being vulnerable, probably because of past trauma but I digress. Besides making me wonder how people in other countries handle it, if it is warmer than us Asian folk do, the same or worse, I did wonder how my OCs did, so here we go:
Arria, beyond her cold and somehow intimidating presence, loves hard, passionately and most of the time selflessly when you do manage to find yourself a place in her life and heart. However, the more she does love someone, the less likely she will say it. It’s not linked to her pride or anything close to that she just, don’t. It feels out of place to her. Too much and too little at the same time. The only people to whom she says it like it is, “I love you”, are, Arch, because he just has that much influence over her and she loves him that much that it spills out every now and then, and Aaron. To whom she says it every day. “我爱你”. Because she knows he needs it, and she is willing to say too much and too little to him every single day because it’s him.
She has other ways of saying I love you though.
I think of Ange, who she often loves romantically, and who made her love the ocean that she used to fear, because it now reminds her of her. I think of Cyrus, the same as Ange, for whom she is willing to be vulnerable to, in front of everyone, and outright say that she gave up on him once, and won’t ever again unless he wants her to. Talking about him, he is with Arch, the one that she’d forgive just like that, always, if he just as much as apologizes. Wary, resentful Arria. Who’d be bitter to even her twin brother for at least a few days if not weeks if he really crossed or hurt her. Ange is so very special, most of the time Arria doesn’t know how she’d react to her until it’s too late. I like the idea too, that she doesn’t need to say it. Especially to Cyrus because it’s just evident that she does. And because I think, at least with her, that he is not too effusive with words either.
She is not very demonstrative, at least not in public. PDA is not her thing. She does indulge Latisha though, even in front of strangers when she has the urge to hug her from the side or behind. She also lets Damjan slip his arm on her shoulders when they walk, so people won’t come and try to flirt with neither him or her. It makes her snicker every time. She so rarely says “I love you” to Latisha because she loves her like her family. Hard. But she always says it back to her.
She is affectionate tho’ behind close doors.
She will cuddle with Arch like lovers would. She will hide her face in the crook of Ange’s neck when she is laughing or flustered by her. She will lean on Cyrus while hiding her mouth behind her hands when she laughs hard, fall on his lap or slip behind his back so she can brush and braid his hair. She lets Liv fall asleep in between her legs, and let her fingers slip in her hair while reading. And she will naturally hug her brother from behind, sit on his lap and softly bit his shoulder to then go back to what she was doing like nothing happened.
Right now I’m thinking of her relationship with Ronan so I’ll mention it. She loves that he loves Ange and Tisha as much as she does if not more. She loves that he is one of her twin’s closest friends. She loves his talent and passion and is comfortable enough to drink with him and share a cigarette he started and that she’d finish, let her head fall on his shoulder and giggle like an idiot. She is happy that he’s her friend.
I have to talk about Helena too. Helena who fascinates her. With her artistry, her strength, her everything. She knows, that she doesn’t need anyone’s protection. But you can bet that she’ll murder for her.
She loves Noah extravagance, she has a thing for prideful people, it’s entertaining and makes her laugh and he makes her laugh. She feels comfortable with him and can be vulnerable in his presence when she’s tired. Just like Damjan who she’d trade for no one in the world.
Arria loves in a very teasing way. She’ll throw jabs and will bicker with you. All the time. She will be a smartass. But she’ll do anything for the ones she loves too. Going from singing if you ask her, to killing if it comes to it. Arria ultimately falls into the category of show don’t tell, in the smallest and biggest ways. Her love is hot and intense, playful and selfless. She’ll give, always and maybe subtly, without asking for anything in return.
Aaron, is more comfortable with saying it than his sister. With some people more than others. With Ange for example, he doesn’t say it much, because she doesn’t either. Or he does so, when he is sleep-deprived and she brings him a cup of coffee. Mumbling it in his mother tongue as he takes a sip, his hand lingering on hers to convey it.
He likes saying it to Cyrus in a sarcastic or teasing manner. To rile him up a bit while always meaning it.
To Arch with a sigh while he falls in his arms because he’s Arch and he just loves him.
To Ronan while they’re composing, exhausted like never and yet still laughing. He’ll say it between two fits of it, as he gives him a cigarette, eyes sparkling softly with shared mischief.
Liv a little less, because like Ange she doesn’t really say it but man he would do anything for her. And to Arria, he always says it back, since she usually beats him to it and makes his heart feel warm and ache a little because he loves her so much.
The way he loves is, hard to describe. He loves a little possessively, but not really. He doesn’t consider people as his property, never. But he likes keeping them close and feel like he can protect them even when they don’t need to be. It’s just who he is, especially with his past trauma.
He loves people gently, casually, and it shows in his gestures.
In the way he’d come up behind Arria while she’s working on lyrics or texts, and tie her hair up without her asking him to. Just so she wouldn’t have to huff on the strands falling on her eyes anymore. It shows with the fact that he always has a book he got at the library sitting on his shelves, that he thinks Ange or Cyrus would like if they come over. Or how he bought a couch just for Ronan in his music studio, so he could sleep on it when they work overnight. He always burns that incense Liv loves when she comes over and commands Arch’s fave snacks while selecting hours prior to, a list of movies they can watch together and nerd out on. And he always buys every little thing that reminds him of Helena to gift it to her as soon as he gets them. Getting excited about it like a child would. Oh, he also always make sure Minjun eats and goes back home rather than living in his music studio, and always massages Latisha when she comes groaning to his place after her training.
He only falls in love when he connects with people. Intellectually mostly, but more than that if he isn’t scared of showing his darker flaws. He sometimes wonders if he loves his best friends in a romantic way. But he is content with the affection they are willing to give him already, so he bows and yields to the ones he thinks would make them happy.
His arms will always be open to his loved ones. Most of the time letting them take the initiative to not overstep boundaries. His hugs are warm, and Arria and Liv would say that they sometimes get a little choked up because it feels like finally being home after ages of being nostalgic about it.
He loves to draw the Zakharines and Cyrus a lot. Ange is so far the only one who ever saw his canvas related to his years in the army and aphantasia.
He likes writing songs about Arria and Ronan who baffles him for the latest since he won’t realize they were for him, unless he spells it out or name them “For Ronan”. He indulges Latisha and always agrees to dance with her and Arria, just to see her beam and hear her laugh. He’ll always agree to follow Liv and Helena for their art expeditions or photoshoot sessions, helping Helena at playing paparazzi on their friend.
He likes to give and is always surprised when he receives back.
A little awkward sometimes, a little teasing, he loves a little too hard he thinks. He’s scared of going overboard. But really, his love is like coming back home after a while, far away.
Liv, is like Arria, not much of a tell, much more of a show. The only persons she probably said “I love you” to are her little sister Roksana before they grew apart, and Helena. She loves the ones close to her a lot though and is willing to do and sacrifice much for them, if not fall on the sword in their stead.
She likes to show to the people she loves that she does, by doing, creating things on which she’d spend hours and hours working on to spoil them. Helena, Noah and Arria are her favorites models (she creates clothing for all the little band tho). She has endless sketches turned into creations that she showers them with.
She painted murals in Aaron’s room and has sketchbooks and canvas all inspired by him that he cherishes like his most precious treasures. She also actively tries to change his wardrobe.
Livia has a repulsion for other’s people touch in general. Unless she really is comfortable with you.
She lets Noah pull her on his lap, his chin laying on the top of her head or on her shoulder as he talks to others or her, playing with her fingers. She seeks contact with Helena. Let it be having her best friend’s legs across her laps when they’re on a couch, holding one of her fingers with hers or having her in between her legs as she draws arabesques with her fingertips on her skin while they’re listening to music. She likes to fall asleep in the twins' arms when they’re chilling at her or their place. She feels at home in Aaron’s arms and likes when he swoops her up for hugs. She feels protected when Arria pulls her against her when they’re in the middle of a crowd, glaring at the people who’d bump into her like she could go feral on them at any wrong move.
She is comfortable enough around their other friends to laugh openly, put a hand on their arm or shoulder, and even hug them to make them feel welcome. She always has their favorite drink or snack in her home or shop.
She trusts Ange the most, besides the four I mentioned earlier. She trusts her with all of their friends, and she trusts her to the point where if she asked her to close her eyes and have faith in her, she would.
She has a lot of affection for Arch and Ronan. She sometimes sees a little of herself in them and wants to hug them. She likes to spoil them with little things they like when she meets up with the two men just to see them smile or smirk.
She doesn’t talk much to Cyrus. But she knows he means a lot to Arria, and she means a lot to him. She’d lie, yeah, even fall on the sword for him too.
Her family is not really one. She found that in them. And can grow a little obsessive with wanting them safe and happy. She is very soft, very sweet when you know her, but could turn very dark, maybe a little ruthless, if harm is done to her loved ones. She is aware of her friends’ backgrounds and flaws. She knows too that they’re all a little fucked up in their own way. But she embraces it. And would help every single one of them to cover up a murder if it comes to it.
Livia loves with all of her being. Even if she never fell for someone in a romantic way so far. She never judges, and always kind of know how people feel since she is observant, and thus discreetly tries to help them without outright making it obvious. She is good at it.
Liv loves silently, but purely. It makes her quite vulnerable. But she knows that she can be with her tight circle. She put a lot of trust in her way of loving people. Where most of the time she’d rather stay back, in the shadows, loving them makes her brave and gives her strength and makes her shine.
Tisha, has no problems saying the words “I love you”, though she does not say it that often and only when she means it.
She always says it to her mother, used to, to her father. She often says it teasingly to the others. Like Arria, to see her reactions and hear her grunt or throw a jab at her. She says it often to Ronan. Casually and playfully most of the time. Seriously the others. Because she really does and he deserves to hear it.
Latisha’s love is warm even though it feels like playing with fire sometimes. But it never burns, just tingles. She loves fiercely, and a little blindly due to her strong sense of loyalty. Like that time when the break in Arria and Cyrus’ friendship happened, and where she took her best friend side, cursing the other, bitter for a while without really knowing his side of the story.
Talking about him, she loves in a tough way sometimes too. And it’s the case with Cyrus. She’ll say loud and clear that he’s insufferable and a little shit. She means it. But she has a lot of affection for him too. She’ll make him lose his temper, poke all his sore spots just to rile him up like never before to then laugh in his face. And yet, she’ll be the first to defend him fiercely while baring her teeth. Because he’s her friend, and she loves him, and he loves Arria.
Her best friend, her family. If you’d ask the Asian woman, she’d say that no one loves others like Latisha does and that the ballerina is probably one of the people who love her the most. And when Latisha loves you like she loves Arria, it’s in such a pure, selfless and powerful way that you don’t even know if you could ever do enough to give back to her what she gives. And Tisha loves all of their little band just like that.
She is the kind of person who becomes a rock, a foundation when everything is wrecked and precarious in your life. The kind that keeps you grounded, in touch with reality, saying things like they are, and always there to support you even when you are in the wrong. Guiding you on a better path.
Romantically, Latisha rarely falls in love. But when she does, it’s hard and in all the senses of the term. She did with her two longterm relationships, and she did with Ronan as well (depends on which universe lol), even if she realized she had after he confessed to her and she didn’t understand that he did. Running to his place after she screamed at him on the phone to not move, and returning his feelings in the middle of his hallway rather than in his flat, drama queen that she is like he told her while chuckling.
I could arguably say that pretty much all of them would do anything for the ones they love. Truly. But Latisha is compared to the three that came before her, the less violent or twisted. And in a way, that fact makes it all the more powerful, that she would not hesitate and point a gun at anyone being a danger to her loved ones, and fire it.
Her love is like a gush of fresh air. Light, warm, and that makes you laugh, chuckle while sometimes rolling your eyes. It’s a love you can rely on, no matter what even in the darkest of times. Latisha’s love feels like going on a thrilling (and maybe a little dangerous) adventure with your best friend.
