k-phyte

[myguiltyotpleasures]

[drunkenhills]

This is the only tiktok where the automated voice actually adds to the cinematic experience

[savvylikeyeahhh]

freedom

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

This is absolutely what a cats internal monologue is like <3

[suzoar]

Actually Ive decided to be angry now

[kleinergeist]

After 9 months of work, my Oseberg tapestry sweater is complete!

This was my first sweater knitted in the round, first stranded colourwork project, and my first time steeking. It was definitely my most challenging project so far, and a lot of learning and research was involved. I used a colourwork chart created by the very talented Molly Gifford, which is available for free on Ravelry

For reference, this is one of the fragments uncovered from the gravesite:

Some scholars think that the Oseberg tapestry includes the earliest known artistic depiction of Odin's ravens, Huginn and Muninn. So I added them to the sleeves as a little Easter egg.

[midnights-dragon]

In case anyone is having a bad night

(The best of this post and its reblogs, but with links that work)

Here is a website where you can scroll down to all the different levels of the ocean 

Here is a website where you can see the future of the universe

Here is a website where you can press a ‘make everything okay’ button, over and over, until things really are okay

Here is a website that you can read if you feel like a burden

Here is a website where you can look at strobe illusions (TW strobe/flashing)

Here is a website where you can cut stuff up (TW blood/sh)

Here and here are websites where you can play with sand

Here is a website where you can draw with macaroni and other fun foods

Here is a website where you can paint someone’s nails

Here is a website where you can grow a garden with emojis

Here is a website with hundreds of videos of people hugging you (rightfully dubbed ‘the nicest place on the internet’ because it really is, y’all, it made me cry)

Here is a website that will take you to other useless websites

Here is a website where you can make a tiny cat play bongo drums (and other instruments!)

Here is a website to help give you gentle reminders <3

Here is a website where you can grow a tiny farm

Here is a website where you can take a bunch of scientific personality tests

Here is a website of calm rain noise

Take a breath. It’s going to be okay, I promise.

[natahjikio]

#demonic consort & tyrant king

[savasbitti]

[maidthings]

winter as a cat must be crazy. "oh great this cunts gonna start using lightning strike on me all the time again"

[maidthings]

do you all not get dry as fuck during the winter?

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

static electricity doesn't exist in th metric system

[plum-soup]

What IS it with tumblr users and “biting” I bet you people have never even bitten someone irl

[imhereformysciencefriends]

[moosekleenex]

add yours!

[espanolbot2]

‘Sesame Street’ Delivers the ‘Knives Out’ Muppet Mystery the Internet Has Demanded

Benoit Blanc is rendered in felt to solve a culinary crime.

[heydocverdant]

I FREAKING CALLED IT

[headspace-hotel]

My version of "doomscrolling" nowadays is just going to iNaturalist, browsing pictures of animals and fantasizing about where I would introduce them outside of their natural range if I was some kind of ecology-focused evil scientist. I do this when I'm depressed. I don't know if it helps.

[i-love-hyenas]

Bring hyena to Texas put Texas in hyena paws humans can trust Texas to hyena pack yesss

[headspace-hotel]

How could I disagree with such a trustworthy source

[chekhovs-raygun]

animals i really want to introduce to the USA:

-red pandas in Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. they can live in those you-pick orchards and delight tourists, and in the winter the big ones can be harvested by the farmers for food and fur. america also has native bamboo, as well as plenty of escaped invasives.

-koalas in southern california. we already have a lot of feral eucalpytus in the state and it makes our wildfires way worse. let's put koalas in there too. coyotes can hunt them like dingos do.

-cheetahs in colorodo, wyoming, nebraska, and oklahoma. we had cheetahs here once, that's why pronghorns are so fast. let's give them something to really haul ass about.

-spotted hyenas in texas and new mexico. did you know there's actually a shit ton of oryx already roaming around new mexico? they were brought in for a game preserve. oryx can fight off lions, but spotted hyenas are actually superior pack hunters with some of the highest kill rates of large cooperative predators in the world. we might have a problem with ranchers, but like: fuck ranchers. they already decimated the mexican wolf populations. they deserve hyenas.

-pangolins. i would drop these guys in arizona honestly. everyone in arizona hates and fears fire ants. i think entire neighborhoods would throw ecstatic parades for pangolins (which smell much better than giant anteaters) at least until a pangolin dug straight through their pasteboard condo.

-new zealand's little penguin in louisiana. they burrow into mud and sand banks during the day and tolerate quite hot temperatures! i think they'd do fine, and louisiana is sliding into the gulf anyway. let's have penguins there. i'd also try them out in new england in case lousiana is just too swampy for them. i feel like new yorkers would go insane with pride over having penguins around. they would act like they invented the whole concept of penguins. we should let them.

-water buffalo. georgia and the carolinas. i just think it would give everyone there some interesting new problems.

-i firmly believe that asiatic elephants would do great in the southeastern united states. it's a subtropical climate that's only going to get swampier as things heat up, and there's plenty of kudzu and tall grass species for them to munch on. they're also smart enough to learn to navigate and negotiate with people, and to follow set routes around human farms rather than tromp through them, so disruption to existing human infrastructure would be minimal but occasionally hilarious. i think it would be so cool to have an american subspecies of elephant. if i ever win the lottery this IS what i am going to be doing with my millions.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Animals I would introduce to each continent:

Europe: Wombat

We've had enough of your fucking rabbits and foxes. Here, have a huge badger type thing that can destroy cars with its arse. It'll outcompete your badgers and where will you be then. Haha.

Asia: Wombat

We've had enough of Indian camels ruining our deserts. Here's something to ruin your terrain for a change.

North America: Wombat

We've had enough of United States tourists with no manners. Here's some tourists with even less manners.

South America: Wombat

WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR FUCKING CANE TOADS. WOMBATS FOR YOU.

Africa: Wombat

The feral ostriches aren't actually all that much of a problem right now, but in revenge for the problem they will probably become in the future, have some fucking wombats.

Antarctica: Wombat

I'll take it right back home and warm it up I promise I. I just really want to see a wombat walk and dig in the snow.

Australia: Wombat

The populations of all three species of wombat are dangerously low.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

see while the first set of animals is really selling me on the concept of an ecologically based supervillain, Derin's wombat themed villain is showing up MUCH clearer in my minds eye

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

Boris "professional idiot" Johnson wanted to build an island airport in the immediate area.

it's fucking visible

This post requires authentication to view.

It is fun to learn.

[thevideowall]

Yeah, there's major shipping lanes either side of the wreck, and if it blows the town of Sheerness will be destroyed - if not from th eblast directly then from the tsunami

[prokopetz]

"I can never get it tasting like my mom used to make" yeah, because your mom had a giant Costco-size bottle of a specific pre-mixed spice blend that was discontinued by its manufacturer in 1998 and spent your entire childhood putting it in every meal to use the stupid thing up faster – she doesn't know how to replicate it any more than you do.

[prokopetz]

The tragedy of culinary nostalgia is that most of the time, the flavours of your childhood aren't memories of lost secret recipes – they're the irreplicable accidents of folks tossing whatever happened to be cheap and available into the pot, and there are no recipes to recover because the people doing the cooking never knew them.

[batbetbitbotbut]

I am reminded of this reddit post and update, from a person seeking to recreate a dish their mum used to make based on not much more than "chicken, peaches, and it was beige".

I am a pretty competent cook, so don't worry about that bit. I just want to know if this dish sounds familiar, so someone can fill me in on the parts I don't remember. It's a chicken dish made with flat chicken cutlets. I think she used to hammer them a bit with a kitchen mallet, dredge them in flour, and pan fry them in a little butter so they would brown nicely. The sauce is the part I am a little lost about. She used white wine (probably chardonnay) and sour cream, that part I am sure of. There were canned peaches too, which were slightly browned and served on top. I'm sure there was something more to it than that, any thoughts? The flavor was tangy, not particularly sweet except for the peaches, and the sauce was opaque and kind of a beige color. Does this sound like a dish you are aware of? While her food was great, her dishes were usually pretty simple. It is likely that this is not something she invented herself, but it might be something that she simplified. Does anyone know what this is or what it is called so I can look it up and try and get it right? She used to serve it with grilled zucchini brushed with garlic butter. Thank you. Edit -- I am blown away with how helpful and kind you all have been. I have taken little hints from each of your posts and a lot of them have jogged my memory. I think some sort of composite from these suggestions will produce something close. I am going to try to make it when I have the chance, and I will update when I do. Thank you, reddit. <3

Update 6 days later:

My mom passed away a few years ago. I needed help trying to recreate a chicken recipe of hers that I have been craving, because I could only remember a few ingredients. You amazing people of r/recipes came through and gave me so many wonderful suggestions. With a mix of all your advice, I made it tonight. I was nervous as I was putting it together. I felt like there had to be something more to it, but I went with using just the ingredients I knew (as suggested by Ethril). I felt like there was something I was forgetting. Something about brown specks in the sauce. I went with it anyway, and figured I would know what to add at the end by taste. I took chicken cutlets and hammered them flat. Dredged in flour and sauteed in butter (high heat). I burned the butter a little. I remembered my mom saying that butter is the one thing that is ok to burn (as long as it is not smoking furiously) so I left it alone, and smiled at the memory. I was pleased to see the chicken brown to the color I remember. When I flipped the chicken I added the zucchini spears and browned those too. When the chicken was done (just a couple minutes) I set it aside and covered it in tinfoil to keep it warm, then turned the zucchini and browned the peaches in the same pan. It only took a few minutes to brown everything and when the zucchini and peaches were done I put them aside with the chicken. I deglazed the empty pan with chardonnay. My mom wasn't a big wine person, so I went with the cheapest they had. I suddenly remembered that sound the wine would make when it hit the hot pan, a huge hiss. Mom used to tell me to step back before she poured it in, because it would splash a little. I felt like I was nine years old again. I added three big dollops of sour cream and dissolved it in the hot wine. I didn't know what I was going to do next, this was all I had planned. Then I saw the little brown flecks come up. It was that burned butter! I just about cried. I tasted it, and suddenly in my mind I was standing in her kitchen as a kid watching her cook. This was it. It was that simple. I added a couple spoonfuls of the liquid from the canned peaches to take away a little of the wine's tartness, and the sauce was perfect. Just like she used to make. Keep in mind that I am no food stylist, but I assure you that this tasted 10x better than it looks: http://i.imgur.com/Qgk6u.jpg The whole thing took less than 20 minutes to make. And I fucking nailed it. Thank you so, so much reddit! You brought me back, and I love you. The smell is still lingering in the house.

[shamebats]

From the OP: "If you sit at a desk or stare at your phone all day, this is for you. Here's how to undo the damage: - Banded Chin Tucks - Strengthen your neck flexors and fight forward head posture - Banded Pull-Aparts - Target your rotator cuff and improve shoulder stability - Banded Abduction - Activate the midline of your scapula for better posture - Lateral Deltoid Raises - Build shoulder stability and control - Banded Up-and-Overs – Boost scapular mobility and range of motion These simple banded drills will help you stand taller, move better, and feel stronger - even after hours at a desk."

Some of these are the same or similar to the exercises my physical therapist taught me.

[siriosa]

improve my odds of finding it again

[playwrongs]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

[chillyfeetsteak]

a few doors down from me my neighbors have a squirrel bar nailed to the tree in front of the sidewalk, not exactly this but something like this:

it's been there for years and they never "stock" it so it's just sitting there. anyway, i thought it would be cute to make a little squirrel out of sculpey and leave it on one of the stools in the middle of the night. i also made a little sculpey beer bottle with its own label.

it lasted exactly one day and now it is gone. it didn't fall off, i stuck it on with tape. what do you think happened to it? your most fantastical and wrong answers only, please

[chillyfeetsteak]

HUGE NEWS HUGE UPDATE

squirrel REAPPEARED today... NOW PAINTED

[chillyfeetsteak]

i wanted to provide another update because there has been more activity at the nut bar

a few weeks ago i sculpted a new patron:

and put him in the bar. the next day he was gone. a couple weeks later he reappeared painted... but with ANOTHER new guest: a 3D printed squirrel based on the first one i sculpted (with a bottle!)

:)

[systlin]

So my sister wants to start sewing more, because

a. She’s 5′ 11″ and can never find pants long enough for her legs or shirts long enough for her arms.

b. She hates synthetic fibers as much as I do and it’s difficult to find natural fiber clothes that aren’t made of cotton

c. She’s a biologist and would physically fistfight microplastics if given half a chance

So her gift from mom and dad for her birthday was a sewing machine. Not a super expensive one but a good solid serviceable one.

And recently she asked “So where do I GET wool or linen and thread that isn’t polyester” and mom was like ‘go ask your sister’

And I, of course, crashed into the group text like “GET A PEN I HAVE WEBSITES FOR U” and honestly I’m thrilled about this

[systlin]

“Where did u get all this”

“Bets, u know I’m a 15th degree blackbelt of buying shit on the internet”

“oh yeah tru”

[hermesmuse]

Op can may we inquire about the website list

[systlin]

Linen; https://www.graylinelinen.com/

cotton and Silk thread; https://redrockthreads.com/

Linen thread and wool fabric; https://burnleyandtrowbridge.com/ (they’ve got wool stuffs and worsted wool fabric for $15 a yard! I just got three yards of navy worsted wool I’m making a constellation winter skirt from)

More linen thread and wool; https://wmboothdraper.com/ (just ordered wool broadcloth to make a coat)

Silk fabric (THE best place to get silk lining fabrics and raw silk fabric):https://www.dharmatrading.com/

A varying assortment of wool and silk and cotton and even some leather, use coupon code  spring2020 for 50% off your full order, worked yesterday when I bought some stuff there; https://metrotextilesnyc.com/

Wool. You want wool coating for under $20 a yard? Sure you do. It’s here. Not a huge variety of colors, most are black or brown, but hey https://www.fashionfabricsclub.com/Catalog?refinementIds=4096748&Keyword=wool&pageSize=16

[wingedtyger]

I don’t know a lot about sewing, but I want to make or have my mom make some linen pants & shirts for when I’m watering, because it gets to 105 here and we have mosquitos so I need to be covered. What type of linen do I buy? Also, linen pajama shorts, yes/no?

(I’ve been wearing my renfaire pants which are a linen mix, I think. But the frikking mosquitos that hide in the tomatoes get my arms)

[systlin]

Medium weight is what I’d go with.

And linen pajama shorts is a HARD yes.

[beggars-opera]

Renaissance Fabrics is good for all sorts of things

Mood doesn’t specialize in natural fabrics but they do have basically every fabric ever made so

[the-merry-otter]

For wools, I cannot recommend Woolsome enough! They’re a bit more expensive then the above links, but they have a spectacular range of colours and weights, as well as diamond pattern and herringbone weaves. They also have a range of linens, though not as extensive.

Woolsome

Historical fabrics for re-enactors

[justgarb]

Tiedtohistory.com has sheer voile linen

The Linen Lab has a variety of weaves, weights, and colors available

Period Fabric has a variety of wools, but switch to the full website if you’re on mobile

[keithmosher2]

Can't Have Nice Things

The Ketamine King Musk has shutdown the IRS's Free Tax Filing system.

Of all the things a government could off, a way to Freely calculate and file your taxes seems like a good one. But the richest man in the world thinks we shouldn't have that.

Musk Says He’s ‘Deleted’ Popular Free IRS Tax Filing Program

The online tax filing option on the IRS website had a strong bipartisan 76% approval rating from registered voters.

[truth-has-a-liberal-bias]

President Trump’s “special government employee,” Elon Musk, announced on Monday that he had dissolved the Internal Revenue Service’s free file program—suggesting that he effectively fired the staff who worked on the popular program.

The billionaire revealed that he “deleted” the group of individuals who oversaw the system that allows Americans to easily file their taxes for free on the IRS website. The IRS-run free and simplified tax filing option had 76% approval from registered voters based on a 2023 poll by Navigator. [...]

[elfwreck]

If you have the time to burn, and a bit of financial cushion -

File your taxes by hand. Fill out the forms with a pen. Overpay by about $50. (You will eventually get that back. It is likely to take several months.)

It will take longer to get any refund you're due. But I promise you the entire federal bureaucracy has been cutting as many corners as they can for as many years as they can, and the current set is going to cut even more corners, and...

they don't have the staff on hand to process a huge number of paper claims anymore. They expect everything that came in digitally last year, to continue to be filed digitally. And they expect more digital filings every year. They've planned for that. They've staffed for that.

One of the only acts of protest we have available is "comply, but slowly."

File on paper if you can.

If you have the software to file digitally because doing the math & forms is such a nightmare for you?

If you're up for it: Print the final form, and then fill out a new blank form by hand. With your lousy handwriting. Send it in the post, by mail.

Does that stop them? No, but every bit of sand we can throw in the gears slows them down and pulls resources away from the other horrific rights violations they're trying to codify into law.

[katjohnadams]

[transcyberism]

You likely still do not have to pay an accountant even if the IRS's Direct File service goes down because Free File will still work.

While Direct File is an IRS-hosted program, there is also Free File, which is government-subsidized and hosted by third parties:

You need to use THESE SPECIFIC LINKS in order to access the Free File programs, fyi - they are hosted by tax preparers who also often order paid services which may have deceptive names like "TurboTax Free" that make them sound like they don't cost anything, so be sure to only use the IRS links. Don't just Google them, you will not find what you're looking for.

Here's an archive link in case they take down the Free File page. (You may have to manually cut out the web.archive.org part of the URL to use the links.)

It is not possible for Elon Musk to access these programs directly because they are not hosted on government servers. You are eligible for Free File for your federal taxes if you make less than $84k, as well as for your state taxes if you make less than $48k, as well as some other situations such as if you are active-duty military or if you live in certain states (for your state return).

If you want to throw sand into the works and file these as paper forms instead of e-filing, you absolutely can do that by printing them out after completing the program, but PLEASE do not pay a tax preparer if you are eligible for Free File!!! It's a ripoff!!!!!!!!

Direct File is a great program that saves the government money (they do not have to pay third parties if they keep the program in-house) and helps protect taxpayer data security, but you DO NOT need to pay an accountant or risk filling out your return incorrectly just because it goes down.

[nonehell]

Please also look at your public library! Many libraries offer taxpayer assistance and information - IRS taxpayer volunteers are at my library every year and help me do my taxes for 100% free regardless of my household income.

Volunteer with the IRS in your community to prepare tax returns for free with the Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) and Tax Counseling

Here is information on the IRS tax volunteers.