I’ve been ALONE
*opens messenger*
Me: So are you lookin’ forward to something with this new guy?
She: You know what... Hell yeah! I’ve been alone enough time.
Me: But why aren’t you. like. FULLY embracing it?
She: You know I’ve been thinking ‘bout ---- lately... Idk, but it’s been many months since so... It’s been a while that I’m with nobody.
Me: Yeah, I guess. I think It depends on how you feel with yourself, regardless of the amount of time that has been.
She: Oh no... I’m good, like... I ain’t rushing ANYTHING. I’m just goin’ with the flow. This new guy shows up, lookin’ like a dream and I’m like... u know.
Me: Yeah, he’s truly a delight for sight. But I still feel you, kind of “insecure” ‘bout it. The situation I mean.
She: Mmmm... No. Like. Ok. I get what you mean, but girl don’t u worry ‘bout me. I’ve been ALONE for a while, I did like it so... I’m super cool 'bout the whole thing, if it works or doesn’t. So chill xx
Me: Yes. You’ve been. Just checkin’ you know xx
She: K. Sooo I’m gonna finish myself up. He’s picking me up like in... 20 minutes. Wish me luck. ttyl
Me: Luck. xx
*closes messenger*
---You’ve been alone. But you have no clue of how to be alone. You simply just can’t. You can say it’s been 4 months or 4 years. But you still don’t know HOW to be alone. It’s the desire, the will, the “staying alert” for anything that may happen. Even when the situation is not the most proper one. You still want to go through it. Sometimes you don’t even like the guy. But you desire the idea of HAVING a guy. So at the end, as much as you want to convince yourself, that you’ve been alone for the past ------ ------. Doesn’t mean you know how to.
You may say “you are so insensitive”, “how would you know”, “you’ve never been in love”. All true. Yet that doesn’t mean I don’t wish to be. But I’m not sitting around to catch the first ball they hit me up with. I waiting, watching, discovering more and more. Within myself and my life. So I can take a choice, not the best one, but the one I know it comes from my heart. A heart that KNOWS how to be ALONE, when you love your lonely self first.
-- With love, your friend when she dares to tell you the ugly, yet honest, truth.










