Fighting OCD

Female; a blog of ocd relatables and general experience; please don't read ocd problems section if you feel you are susceptible; living with a boggart; student, aikidoka and musician; Fantasy bookworm Comics fan; The Flash fan; INFP; Hufflepuff

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #44

When you're activelly ignoring an intrusive thought and trying to go on as if nothing was happening:

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #43

Some mechanisms to stay grounded when having intrusive thoughts that I've found helpfull:

If you've ever been in a real situation in which you realized your actions had had an ill effect somewhat similar to those you dread from some intrusive thoughts try to remember what you felt in the real situation and check to see that you don't feel it in this made up scenario of what ifs;

Trust what your body feels and remembers. Your body has some physical memory of its actions, it might help relying on that. Also, if you feel a visceral feeling like disgust or something similar towards an intrusive thought chances are that that is so wrong to you, even at a physical level, that you would never have done that something.

Kadima! ;)

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #42

Knowing you're subtly avoiding doing something that triggers you but always having a perfectly reasonable excuse not to do it...

Me this week: Avoiding to drive because it's one of my biggest triggers

Excuse: Well... I like walking, and I'm saving some money in fuel, and it's better for the environment... And... And... XD (I'm really creative giving excuses)

[rhineart]

Does anyone else feel this way? Sometimes it can be really overbearing… it feeds into my depression and makes me withdraw completely. The nice thing about sharing this comic with folks for feedback is that I learned that I’m not the only one who feels this way at times.

Just to define a bit:

intrusive thoughts and anxiety are closely related, but don’t always overlap. An intrusive thought like ‘no one loves you’ stems from anxiety. Intrusive thoughts like ‘what’s STOPPING me from setting my own room on fire?’ doesn’t come from an anxiety that you are going to somehow uncontrollably set your room on fire. It’s a (sometimes) frightening and obnoxious unwanted voice that has a tendency of making you feel like a bad person just for thinking about something… even if it’s something you would never do.

Watch a speed paint of panel 7 here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cbRFBY9pR0

(This is that first comic I think I’ve made since… junior year of high school? so like, 7 years? Wow, to think I used to be really into making them (ie, my own terrible terrible manga that I hope never sees the light of day) So go easy on me! I tried addressing a few weaknesses of mine here: color and composition. I tend to do a lot of local color so I decided to try different limited color palettes for each panel and try out different compositional elements as well. I know the colors don’t totally go together from panel to panel, but I’m proud of myself for the effort and for pushing myself! Please like/comment/reblog if you have ever felt this way <3 )

[kadimasplit]

OCD problems #17

WARNING: Sensitive content, don't read the following if you feel you are susceptible

Me: *driving*

Ocd: What if you ran over someone?!

Me: *checks through rearview mirror*

Ocd: But what if you ran over someone while you were looking in the mirror?!

Me: FUUUUUUU!!!!!

Cue the "Never Ending Story" music...

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #41

Finding the strength to face/do things that you know that will trigger your OCD, instead of avoiding them as much as you can.

[kadimasplit]

Ocd problems #16

Me: *cooking*

Ocd: What if---

Me: SHUSH!

Ocd: Damn............ But what if...

Me: *Puts music at max volume* *Sings till I can't think of anything but the music*

[kadimasplit]

Ocd problems #15

WARNING: Sensitive content, don't read the following if you feel you are susceptible

Me: *Someone talking to me about something mildly private*

Me: Paying attention like a normal person

Ocd: What if you tell that to someone you shouldn't or, even better, to everyone? Sounds easy enough.

Me: *panics, tries not to listen to the conversation*

Also me: *gets frustrated because I know I would never tell anything on purpose and should listen to the conversation... *

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #40

Being afraid of hurting those around you with some kind of information leak...

Has anyone ever felt that? I had never felt this so much and it's really affecting me...

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #39

OCD should get an Oscar for all the near impossible scenarios it presents us every day...

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #38

Not. Checking! Resisting the urge to see if everything is all right is like trying to ignore an annoying itch... An annoying, dramatic itch... Way harder than it looks!

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #37

Being really anxious without knowing exactly why...

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #36

When you go through your memories a thousand times...

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #35

When you know that it doesn't make sense but still...

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #34

Living with harm OCD is just grueling and above all, terrifying. Constantly being spammed by thoughts and images that are the complete opposite of my core values has been slowly trying to tear me apart. Although I've lived with this for years it's still like my soul is always carrying a weight, always with a cloud above my head. Knowing that these thoughts come from somewhere inside me (although I don't identify with them - Thanks brain... ) scares me profoundly. Makes me wonder how that is even possible. Who I am... Dissociating them from me has been an important part in dealing with this, accepting I'm a bit broken also helped. Still... Everyday is a fight I'm not willing to loose. A fight not to let this weight weigh me down. A fight for the right to be happy. A fight for my oh so needed inner peace!

[kadimasplit]

Living with OCD #33

*When talking or thinking about a really distressing intrusive thought*

Me:

[kadimasplit]

Ocd problems #14

WARNING: Sensitive content. Don't read the following if you feel susceptible

Me: is happy preparing tea for family

Me: puts sweateners in the tea

Ocd: were those sweateners? You sure? I think those were pills of some kind. And you don't even know what kind...

Me: Starts to innerly freak out but knows that's just absurd

Me: Subtly checks if everyone is feeling alright throughout the day

Me: Hates knowing this is OCD and still being affected by one more version of it