What is a Culture around Sex, Nudity and Intimacy?
In every society and world, you build has a culture around sex, nudity and intimacy. These are fundamental parts of any culture. Every culture has a list of what is appropriate sexual behaviour and what is seen as taboo. Every culture has unwritten regulations that say when these concepts can or whether they can be mentioned in public. Every culture has rules around what parts of the body must be covered, when they should be covered and why they must be covered. Every culture has the ideal traits of person who fits the sexual moral mould and those who fall short.
Creating a Framework of Morality
There are certainly do and donâts in every culture around sex, nudity and intimacy. Some of these are unwritten and some of these are writ in stone, perhaps even in a legal sense. When deciding what your culture is going be around these concepts, you must first ask what are the main aspects of your culture. Consider your own culture. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself:
Does the culture value certain traits or characteristics? If yes, do they have a place in the culture around sex and sexuality?
Does religion have a say in sexuality and relations?
Does rank or social status effect sexual relationships or sexual morality?
Does the state have any control in how marries who or what place sex has in every day life?
Is nudity common? Is it ever acceptable in public?
What are some ways people can dress to be seen as scandalous?
Is sex a topic discussed in public?
What are some things that are acceptable during a courtship? What are some things that aren't?
Are there any intimate acts that are seen as morally unacceptable? Are there any?
What is the opinion of contraception?
Is contraception available? If so, who can access it?
Do different genders have to follow the same sexual morality guidelines? If not, what are key differences?
Is sexuality seen as natural or is it something to distrust?
What does somebody has to do or not do in order to be a figure of shame or ridicule?
What is the punishment for not following societyâs rules about sex, intimacy and nudity?
What are some taboos that are never tolerated? What are some that might be tolerated?
What is the opinion on illegitimacy? How are these children treated?
Is chastity linked to marriageable worth?
Is promiscuity punished? If so, why and how?
Terminology
There are certain terms to consider when creating a culture around sex, sexuality, intimacy and nudity.
Virgin: Somebody who has never engaged in sex.
Monogamy: Having only one partner at a time.
Polyamory: Having multiple partners in a romantic relationship
Polygamy: Where one person is married to multiple spouses.
Polygyny: A man with multiple wives.
Polyandry: A woman with many husbands.
Prostitution: The sale of sex acts
Brothel: Where sex acts are sold.
Sexual Taboo: Sexual behaviours that are seen beyond the pale of the cultureâs sexual morality.
Celibacy: Abstinence from sex, often for a reason such as religion.
Concubine: A woman who is in a recognised sexual relationship with a higher-ranking man.
Modesty: The emphasis of humility and discretion, in either how one behaves or dresses in public.
Chastity: Abstinence from sex or intimacy.
Mistress: A woman who is in a romantic liaison with a married man.
Contraception: The prevention of pregnancy
STI: Sexually transmitted infection
Illegitimate: A child born out of wedlock
Adultery: Indulgence of sex outside the marriage
Abortion: the termination of a pregnancy
Infidelity: Sexual relations outside of marriage.
Premarital Sex: Sexual relations before marriage.
Contraception
Contraception is the method of preventing pregnancy. Contraception isn't a new idea or method, it is actually amongst some of the oldest inventions of humanity. People would want to prevent pregnancy for all sorts of reasons; survival, economic reasons, social reasons etc.
Abstinence: The best contraception is not to do it all.
Withdrawal: Withdrawal is removing the penis before ejaculation to prevent pregnancy. This is not effective as many parents will tell you.
Breastfeeding: Breastfeeding after a previous birth can be used as a preventative measure against pregnancy. The LAM method or the Lactational Amenorrhea Method suppresses ovulation. The hormones get confused in a way, due to constant breastfeeding of a child. This was most effective in the six months after the birth and if followed strictly, is 98% effective which is why so many royal or noble women had their children breastfed by other women so they could get back to producing more children. It goes without saying that this does not prevent STIs.
Pessaries: These were devices that were placed in the vagina, to prevent pregnancy usually made of sponges, wool, cotton soaked with honey and vinegar to act as spermicides. These did work but won't always reliable. The Egyptians even used crocodile dung but this is not safe or hygienic and did not work.
Silphium: Was a plant used for contraception. It was used so often in ancient times that it is now extinct so it must have been useful.
Queen Anneâs Lace: The seeds of this plant were used to prevent pregnancy and worked by blocking progesterone in the body but not always successful.
Lemons: A cut up lemon was often inserted into the vagina to prevent pregnancy. It does damage sperm but only sometimes successful.
Condoms: Condoms are sheathes that are worn on the penis to prevent sperm from entering the vagina. Early condoms were made from intestines of animals. Later versions were made of rubber. While not 100% effective, they are important for preventing STIs. So always suit up.
Diaphragms: This is a domed device that is inserted into the vagina to stop sperm from getting to the cervix. It is effective when properly used and fitted but doesn't stop STIs.
Pennyroyal & Rue: These herbs were brewed together in a tea but they were toxic and dangerous and not always effective.
Papaya Seeds: Was believed to lower sperm count and while it can lower progesterone, there is no scientific evidence to support it.
Blue Cohosh & Black Cohosh: These were herbs found in America used by Indigenous tribes and civilisations as contraceptives. Blue Cohosh stimulate contractions in the uterus but has effects on the cardiovascular system and can also be toxic. Black Cohosh was used for regulation of the menstrual cycle. But both herbs effectiveness is not scientifically accepted or approved.
Stoneseed Root: Was a herb brewed in tea in order to prevent pregnancy used by the Native Americans. It mainly disrupted fertility but it had very limited success.
Douching: This is the washing out of the vagina after sex with solutions of water, vinegar, alcohol and antiseptic and while it was popular method was not effective.
Rhythm Method: This is the tracking of the menstrual cycle to prevent pregnancy but while effective it is unreliable.
Sex, Nudity and Intimacy Across History
Sex, nudity and intimacy is as old as the hills but the way different societies around the world viewed those concepts throughout history was ever changing and evolving. What was viewed as loose in one era, was seen as prudish in another. What would be acceptable in one culture would get you called out in another. So let's get to it.
The Ancient World (3200 BCE- late 400AD)
Funnily enough, when you probably think about historical views on sex, nudity and intimacy, you think the further you go back, the more conservative the views around those subjects. That's not quite right.
Ancient Greece: Greece was not a unified country at this point but a collection of city states, each as different as the next. Sex, its accepted and frowned-up practices and opinions about intimate relationships differed from place to place. Sparta was a strange and disturbing one. Men were encouraged to take young boys as lovers in a practise known as pederasty and then expected to marry sometime in their thirties. These marriages would involve a wedding where the groom would kidnap his bride, wearing men's clothes and having shaved her head, from her home. The relationship between the older man (the erastes) and the younger boy (the eromenos) was not frowned upon in Ancient Greece. But in Athens, it was more discreet and only in certain contexts, while in Sparta it was a social norm and acceptable. However, the role a man played in these encounters was judged, to put it in simple terms, the receiver had less honour than the pitcher. In pederasty and in relationships with enslaved men, Greek men were expected to be pitching not catching. Women were expected to be chaste and faithful - it didn't matter whether their menfolk were out every night, with who knows who. Women typically married in their late teens while men married around their mid-twenties to their early thirties. Athens was probably the most rigid state for women, they were expected to stay indoors and faithful to their husbands. Spartan women were given more freedom but would still remain faithful to their husbands. Conrinth was less oppressive than Athens, even having temple prostitutes in the temples of Aphrodite and Thebes, which was less strict than Athens, still had rules about adultery. In Thebes, a group of men known as the Sacred Band was made up of male couples because the Thebans believed these warriors would fight harder if the man they loved was beside them. Adultery was a very biased rule. The men in the city states could sleep with prostitutes and slaves but the wives were expected to remain faithful. If a husband caught his wife cheating, he could murder her lover legally or see that they were publicly humiliated or fined for damages. The wife would not be killed but she could be sold into slavery by her husband or barred from attending religious services and rituals. Nudity was permitted, especially in sports or in religious rituals but usually for men - though Spartan women could exercise alongside the men naked. For the reason of naked sports, Athenian women did not attend the Olympics. Women - save for the Spartans in some cases- were expected to stay at home and not go around in public, mainly to ensure than their virtue would be preserved. Weirdly enough, erotic art was common for houses and pottery. Contraception was not stigmatized, the Greeks used pessaries, herbs and withdrawal. Abortion was acceptable through herbal abortifacients and other techniques.
Ancient Rome: The Romans were freaky little dudes. All that guff about the Romans being stately and above such trivium? Lies. The Romans were down to fuck anywhere, any time, with anybody. Arguably the Republic (509â27 BCE) was far more conservative than the later the Empire (27 BCEâ476 CE) but the Romans still had ideas about sex and intimacy. Female virtue was highly valued and vows of chastity were nothing to snub, if a girl took the vows of a Vestal, if she ever had sex she would be executed brutally. Overly emotional or passion relationships were often seen as un-Roman. Young Mark Anthony was actually accused of spending too much time with his boyfriend. Marriage was a contract between families. Husbands and wives could divorce one another if they wished, especially if their families urged them to take newer, more advantageous spouses. The children would remain with the father in such cases with the mother allowed to visit. Women were expected to remain faithful. Adultery was highly punishable, a wife could be exiled or divorced in disgrace. But there are instances of women of conducting affairs to different ends, some noble women slept with male slaves or hired gladiators to see to their needs. The daughter of Augustus was sent off to an island in exile, while himself in his day pretty much slept with anything that moved. Another point; the men could sleep around but they could not sleep around to excess and definitely not with other men's wives or slaves. Prostitution was a booming business in Rome and while it was taboo to socialise with one, to buy the services of one was not frowned on. Like Greece, men could conduct same sex affairs but only if they were the dominant party. Julius Caesar was actually shamed for a rumour that he slept with the King of Bithynia in order to get the old man to cede his kingdom to Rome; but not because of the sex but the fact he was the bottom. The Romans were sexually open but they could be scandalised. Rumours of Caligula sleeping with his sisters and forcing himself on the wives of senators and the exploits of Tiberius in Capri are enough to turn the stomach of any good Roman as well as a modern reader of Suetonius. The Romans did not like incest and disliked the idea of the Emperor Claudius marrying his niece or absolutely abhorred the Ptolemaic dynasty for their marriages (more later on that). Nudity was a strange one to the Romans. While they decorated their houses with erotic art, bathed naked in public and decorated things with phalluses, the Romans were very modest about nudity. Romans were expected to dress correctly at all times. Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony are cited for breaking the rules around clothing with Mark Anthony's tunics being too short for the Senate and Caesar known for wearing his toga in a casual fashion leading to the dictator Sulla clocking his disregard for tradition and saying he was destined to lead Rome down a dark path. Abortion was widely practised and acceptable along with contraception, with the herb silphium so used that it became extinct. Other methods for preventing pregnancy were withdrawal or pessaries and practised amongst all classes.
Ancient Persia: From the Achaemenid (550â330 BCE) to Sassanian (224â651 CE) eras, Persia held a structured moral view on these concepts. While monogamy was common and standard practise for the commons, polygamy was practiced in elite, noble and royal circles. The King and male nobles were entitled to many wives and concubines, if they wished. Concubines were high ranked but they ranked lower than official wives. The Persian royal families practised inter-marriage with its own branches and even within closer familial bonds such as brother-sister marriage to keep bloodlines pure - this was called XvÄtĹdah. Men again had more freedom in relations, again expected to play the dominant role. However, unlike Rome and Greece, adultery for men was frowned upon, although not punished. Wives who strayed were punished severely. Same-Sex relationships were not accepted but they did exist. Nudity was not accepted in public and everybody had to cover up. Abortion was condemned and punished. Contraception was used despite fertility being valued.
Ancient Egypt: Egyptians believed that sex and intimacy was something to be celebrated, not restricted. Marriages were arranged like the Romans did but most marriages were often based off of love and affection. Like Persia, the Pharoah and noblemen could have many wives and concubines while the commons practised monogamy. Same sex relationships are little known but it seems it was accepted, since some tombs depict same-sex couples. Incest was practised amongst the elite and especially in royal circles. The Pharaohs believed that by practising incest they were preserving their familial prestige but in actuality, they were really fucking themselves over. Some Pharaohs suffered from deformities and ill health due to the practise. They wed brother to sister, father to daughter, uncle to niece, nephew to aunt. But incest was not practised by the common people and we don't know their opinion on what their Pharaohs were getting up to. Women were again expected to be chaste and faithful but women did have other freedoms, such as the right to divorce their husbands and own their property outright. Adultery was punished with social disgrace or divorce. Men could have extramarital relations and the services of prostitutes was not frowned on, it was even offered at temples. Nudity was frowned upon but like the Romans, nudity was used in art. Abortion was practised through herbs and vaginal suppositories. Contraception involved honey, lint, leaves from the acacia tree and various citrus fruits to be used as vaginal barrier.
Ancient Carthage: Ancient Carthage is surrounded by myth and humour, mainly fuelled by Roman propaganda. Sex was sacred in Carthage, with some evidence that sex acts and temple prostitution was a common occurrence. Monogamous marriages were common for commoners but the elite practised polygamy and concubinage. Adultery was punishable by social ostracism and exile. Women were expected to be faithful. Fertility was a part of the religion, with cults formed around the gods Baal and Tanit, which leads historians to believe that sex was intertwined with the culture and worship. Contraception was acceptable, using herbs and withdrawal. The Carthaginian stance on abortion isn't well known.
Han Dynasty China: The Han Dynasty was one of Chinaâs early dynasties and one of the most important because the features of the Chinese Empire we know today were solidified under the Han Emperors. Han Dynasty China viewed sex, sexuality and intimacy was a natural part of life but under Confucian teachings, moderation and duty were also seen as important to the balance of life. Taoist beliefs also effected sex culture and how it was viewed in society, believing it to be a balance of health and life, leading to stronger vitality. Virginity was valued, so premarital sex was taboo for women with men getting more freedom around premarital sex but only in moderation and discreetly. Adultery was a serious offense, but elite men were still allowed to practise polygamy and concubinage which was not seen as adultery, while women carried the harsher penalties and were not entitled to practice polygamy. Public nudity was not permitted but erotic art often depicted people in the nude. Sexual indulgence was seen as immoral, especially amongst elite men as it showed a lack of restraint. Same-sex relationships existed but there is evidence that they werenât wholly accepted. Same-sex affairs were usually documented with Emperors and nobility. Contraception did exist, using herbal mixtures but these were often laced with mercury and very unsafe. Abortion was not illegal but nor was it openly acceptable. Confucianism underlined the importance of family and lineage so the idea of abortion was a non-starter for many circles.
Three Kingdoms of Korea: The Three Kingdoms of Silla, Baekje and Goguryeo were one of the most influential periods of Korean history. In this period, Buddhism became a dominant influence in Korea, along with Confucianism. Chastity was valued especially amongst the women and while there is evidence that premarital sex did happen from time to time, it was seen as taboo. Adultery was taboo, especially for women with men permitted to practise concubinage and having more sexual freedom than women. When women were widowed, society didnât expect or want them to remarry. Modesty was important, especially for women who were expected to always act and dress modesty. Same-sex relationships did occur and did exist, not condemned under some of the teachings. Evidence points to same-sex relationships being common amongst warrior and noble classes. Contraception likely practiced but was not openly accepted, mainly with herbal mixtures and certain diets that were believed to reduce chances of falling pregnant. Abortion did occur but wasnât accepted as life was considered sacred under some beliefs.
The Lapita: The Lapita were ancestors of the peoples of the Solomon Islands, Samoa, New Guinea, Fiji and Tonga known for their advances in navigation and sailing. The community did not see sexuality was something to be regulated, premarital sex was common, and adultery did carry some stigma but there were little consequences. There isnât a lot of evidence to point to the acceptance for same-sex relationships but they did exist and later attitudes and views would point to an acceptance of sexual and gender fluidity. Women had a lot autonomy in relationships, and while marriages and unions were made for social and economic reasons, women likely did have some input. Abortion and contraception may have been available but there isnât that much evidence to support the existence or acceptance of either.
The Celts: The Celts were tribes living in Ireland, Wales, England, Scotland and Gaul (France). The Celts were known to be very different when it came to sex and morals surrounding intimacy. Women had more freedom than some of the other ancient cultures above when it came to sex, premarital sex did not carry the same stigma as it did in the cultures above and relations outside a marriage were not always frowned upon. However, when infidelity threatened alliances and inheritances, adultery was condemned. Women had ability to seek legal protection if their husband committed adultery and if they or a man were the victim of assault - as forced or coerced sex was seen as morally repugnant among the Celts - they also had the right to bring their attacker to justice. Nudity did not carry the same stigma, some Celtic tribes went into battle in the nude but modesty was expected in certain circumstances. Same-sex relationships were common and accepted and gender had more fluidity than it did in some other cultures. Abortion was practised with some acceptance but how is not known. Contraception was used, herbs were likely abortifacients.
The Early Middle Ages (Late 400ADâ1000AD)
The Early Middle Ages was a time where many societies began revaluate their attitudes and beliefs about sex, intimacy and nudity, mainly due to the growing influence of new religions.
The Norse: The Norse are an interesting example as they stood in stark contrast with their neighbours. Compared to the Christian kingdoms they would take over, the Norse were progressive in their views. Premarital sex was not frowned upon the way it was in Christian Europe. Women had far better autonomy; they could initiate divorce proceedings and had legal protections against mistreatment from their husbands. They even had a say in who they would marry, though their families had final say. However, if a woman were to cheat on her husband, she would be publicly shamed and have her hair cut off in public. Men did have more freedom when it came to sex, they could engage in extramarital affairs. Chieftains and Kings could marry several women and keep concubines if they wanted. Nudity was not shameful, many Norse peoples had communal bathing in the hot springs or had rituals that involved nudity and in some cases, it is noted that like the Celts, some fought in battle in the nude. But there was a when and a where for nudity and public displays were seen as shameful. LGBTQ relations were not stigmatised in the Norse culture, but like the Roman and Greek above, the role one took had significance. Submissive men were seen as ergi (unmanliness) which would carry social stigma. Gender was more fluid than in Christian Europe and there is evidence that some Norse lived outside the strict gender binaries. Contraception was used, barrier methods and herbal remedies. Abortion was practised with herbal abortifacients.
The Anglo-Saxons: The Anglo-Saxons were tribes of German origin who settled in England. Earlier Anglo-Saxons were more relaxed about sex but as the Christian influence began to seep into the culture, the morality around sex and intimacy. Nudity was not acceptable in any situation but private and modesty was highly prized. Men and women were expected to be faithful in marriage but men could engage in premarital sex without too much social stigma as long as it wasn't with a married woman. Women were expected to be virgins when they married. Adultery was punished, either through fines paid to the affronted spouse's family or public punishment or death or mutilation such as the removal of the nose. LGBTQ relationships were forbidden by the Christian church but they weren't explicitly illegal in these cultures, in fact the earlier Anglo-Saxons had more of a forgiving stance on those relationships and gender fluidity. The term bĂŚdling described a man who lived outside typical gender expectations, being either gay or taking on female attributes. Contraception was used, mainly herbs and withdrawal. Abortion did occur but was condemned by the Church.
The Franks: The Franks were tribes living in France, Belgium, Luxembourg. Like the Anglo-Saxons, they had more progressive and forgiving views on sex and intimacy before they took on Christian teachings. Modesty was expected from men and women, nudity was restricted to privacy within the home and in some communities bathing, which could be communal. Adultery was condemned and like the Saxons, harsh physical punishments and social stigma was imposed on women and men - but men did escape punishment more than women. Women were expected to be virgins before marriage and men were given some freedom when it came to premarital sex. Early Franks had more of a neutral stance on LGBTQ relationships but as they became more Christianised, there were more and more penalties for "sodomy" and non-traditional relationships. Accessibility and acceptance of contraception was limited, herbs were often used but in secret. Abortion was practised but it was condemned by the Church.
Kievan Rus: The Kievan Rus were Norse, Slavic and Finnic peoples living in Ukraine, Belarus and Western Russia. The Kievan Rus began this era with more progressive attitudes and opinions about sex and intimacy but as the Orthodox church began to establish footholds in the era, those opinions fell more aligned with the teachings of the church. In the early period, premarital sex did not carry major stigma and fertility rites involving sex acts were undertaken. Premarital sex became less acceptable after the church's teachings took hold. Extramarital affairs were frowned on for women but men got away with them in certain contexts but the Orthodox church still underlined the importance of monogamy and fidelity. Nudity was allowed in certain rituals and contexts in the earlier period but had no place in public and as the Orthodox church gained power, modesty became a prized attribute. Adultery was frowned upon, it was seen as an affront to family honour but punishment and stigma came down harder on the women who strayed while men were left off the hook in some situations. The Church sanctioned physical punishments and fines on the guilty partner. The Orthodox Church disapproved of same-sex relationships but the earlier Kievan Rus tolerated them, especially if the couple hailed from the nobility. Like the Norse, the Greeks and Romans, LGBTQ relationships were judged by the role played by those involved but as the Church grew in influence, same-sex relationships got more stigmatised as time went on. Though fertility was encouraged, contraception was used and abortion was accessed though both were discouraged by the Church.
Mayan Civilization: The Maya were a civilisation in Mesoamerica that lived across El Salvador, Belize, Honduras, Mexico and Guatemala. Sex was viewed as an important element to society and religion in the Mayan culture. The Mayans prized fertility, and some of their religious rights centred around rituals featuring sexual acts. However, it was extremely taboo for priests and leaders to enact in unacceptable sexual behaviour as the Mayans believed that it could unbalance the order of morality. Premarital sex was not frowned upon and was acceptable in the lower classes. Women could have a say in who they marry but families often arranged marriages for social and financial advantage. Men could cheat with less harsher repercussions but adultery could effect their social standing. Public indecency was extremely discouraged but nudity didn't face the same stigma, it was acceptable in certain public contexts such as communal bathing or in certain rituals. Same-sex relationships were common amongst the upper echelons and was viewed through the dominant and submissive relationship of the couple. Abortion was practised with herbal medicine and contraception was used available.
Ghana Empire: The Ghanian Empire was one of the most powerful empires operating during this period. Sexual and moral expectations was different depending on how one was ranked and influenced both by Islamic tradition and local customs. Polygamy was common, mainly in the elite and ruling class but only for men. Premarital sex was acceptable mainly in the lower classes. Marriages were arranged by families for financial or political reasons. Adultery was frowned upon, again more harsher punishments were reserved for women such as divorce, exile and public chastisement. Men could still face social stigma and be forced to pay compensation to their in laws for the disrespect and in some serious cases, men could even be exiled or go through ritualised purification. There is little evidence to suggest an opinion about LGBTQ relations in the Ghanian Empire but the Islamic influence would have seen non-traditional relationships restricted. Nudity was acceptable in public in certain situations such as rituals like fertility rites, art and communal bathing and unacceptable in any other respect. Fertility was important but both contraception and abortion were practised mainly through use of herbs.
Makuria and Alodia (Nubian Kingdoms): Makuria and Alodia were Nubian kingdoms in Sudan and southern Egypt. They were powerful trading hubs of their time. The kingdoms were Coptic Christian but influenced by the Islamic nations surrounding them which shaped their views on sex, nudity and intimacy. Modesty, monogamy and fidelity were important traits within the cultures. Polygamy was not commonly practiced and marriages were arranged, especially in the nobility. Divorce was possible in some instances. Premarital sex was taboo and it was common to arrange marriages early to prevent couples from committing the taboo. Virginity was highly prized, especially among women. Men would be punished for premarital sex but not as severely as a woman. Adultery was very taboo and unlike the other cultures on this list, it was especially condemned when it was the elite. Adultery was punished with social isolation or public religious penance. Nudity was frowned upon in every instance except of course private instances and artwork did not depict nudity. Fertility was important but both contraception and abortion were practised mainly through use of herbs.
Tang Dynasty China: The Tang Dynasty's opinions and culture around sex, sexuality, nudity and sexual morality were far more progressive than the dynasties that proceeded them. Buddhism and Daoism were major influences but both schools of thought had differing views around sex. Marriages were arranged especially amongst the elite. Men in the elite classes could have several concubines but one singular wife, with children of concubines ranking lower than children with wives. Adultery was taboo but men were not punished as severely. LGBTQ relationships are accepted, especially amongst the elite with some Emperors having male lovers. Premarital sex wasn't forbidden but it was expected that women would not engage in it, especially the upper class. Adultery was frowned upon but it wasn't as punished as it had been with, even some elite women conducting romantic affairs. Prostitution was not stigmatised with some courtesans being celebrated for their skills and cultural influence. Art heavily depicted sex and sexuality. Nudity within certain contexts was not frowned on, public bathing was common and in the Tang dynasty, women wore revealing clothes than they would go on to wear in later dynasties but modesty was still prized. Abortion was practised but due to Confucian teachings, was discouraged. Contraception was used via herbs and barrier methods.
Gupta Empire: The Gupta/Golden Age of India was India at its height of thinking and education. Sexuality was seen as a natural part of life. The caste system was central to forming romantic relationships, cross-caste relations were discouraged though there is some evidence of cross-caste marriages in the lower classes. The culture around sex was centralised around beliefs within Hinduism and Buddhism. The Buddhist teachings acknowledged the need for love and desire in the human condition while the Hindu texts underlined the concept of dharma, the duty within marriage. The Kama Sutra was written during this era which can give us a glimpse into the roles of intimacy and desire in the Empire at the time. Marriages were often arranged and fidelity was important with marriage especially for women. The Hindu text the Manusmriti established the rules and punishments around infidelity but there was a difference between punishments for men and women and within different castes. Upper class and royal men practised polygamy with many wives and concubines. Nudity was not frowned on in certain contexts but modesty was practised. Erotic art and statues like the ones at the temple of Khajuraho. As for LGBTQ relationships, they were not explicitly banned by either Hindu and Buddhist traditions but as Brahmanical influence grew, LGBTQ relationships may have seen a greater restriction. Hindu teachings discouraged abortion but it was still practised using herbs and contraception was available through herbs and coitus interruptus.
The Berbers: The Berbers/Amazigh were an ethic group living in Libya, Mali, Tunisia, Algeria and Morocco. The Berbers are an interesting example for this list because there are so many moving parts and different customs throughout differing tribes. This will be a more general overview. Women in some of the tribes like the Tuareg tribe, had autonomy, they could even arrange their own marriages and could have pre martial sex without consequence. As Islamic influence began to grow, some tribes adopted a more conservative view around women and sex, and brides were expected to remain virgins. Marriages were arranged but as I said, in some tribes, the women had a say in who they would marry and even divorce them. In some traditions, cousin marriages was allowed but it was a common practise. Polygamy was practised but many Berber tribes preferred monogamous relationships. Earlier Berber traditions saw sex as a natural part of life with much of their art depicting triangles and diamonds, inference to female fertility but later Berber traditions saw a shift toward conservatism due to Islamic teachings, which took sexuality and sex off the topics one usually discussed in public. Fidelity was prized within a marriage. In pre-Islamic Berber culture, some tribes had more flexible views on extramarital affairs but fidelity was still valued but under Islamic influence, adultery became a major taboo. Women who committed adultery would receive worse social stigma than men and men would have been shamed for infidelity but they usually got away without harsh punishment. Punishments ranged from stoning, public flogging, paying a fine or banishment. Islamic teachings discouraged abortion but it was still practised and contraception was was used, mainly herbal methods.
Byzantine Empire: The Byzantine Empire admittedly spans this part of the list and the next but I've squashed it in here. The Byzantine Empire kept much of the Greco-Roman culture around sex, intimacy etc. But there was of course a heavily Christian influence which brought some more restriction than before. Nudity was permitted in art but only in religious imagery weirdly enough while erotic literature and poems were frowned on. Public nudity was very taboo. Chastity and modesty were traits that were highly prized among all classes. The Byzantines were strictly patriarchal. Marriages were arranged for financial, political and social reasons. Divorce was permitted but frowned on. Women were expected to remain virgins until their wedding night while men were allowed to engage in premarital sex, through it was frowned on. Prostitution was frowned on and those who used those services could face social stigma. LGBTQ relations were criminalized under Byzantine law but there were certain examples of them throughout the history of the empire. Adultery was very taboo thanks to Christian influence. Adultery was criminalized. Men were punished but it was rare. Women however could be banished or lose certain property as well as her reputation which was sort of like social currency: a woman with a bad reputation would not be permitted to mingle with certain ranks. Abortion was illegal but still practised in secret.
Contraception was discouraged by the church but herbs and pessaries were available for use.
Late Middle Ages/Renaissance (1000AD-1600AD)
The Late Middle-Ages/Renaissance was a time of great change to the opinions around sex, nudity and intimacy.
The Mongols: The Mongols were one of the largest and most powerful cultures in this period. The elite Mongols practised polygamy, with the first wife holding a more superior status than other wives and her children had inheritance rights. The lower class tended to be monogamous. Marriage was arranged to bring families closer together and arranged when the couples were children, with the actual wedding taking place in their teens. Arranged marriages were planned with rituals to divine whether the match would be fruitful and happy. Marriages could be made outside of one's clan but this became more rare as time went on. Premarital sex was acceptable for men and women, though some high ranking women would be expected to be chaste until marriage. The Mongols took adultery very seriously, especially if it caused strife with alliances. While women faced more significant consequences, men would also be punished for adultery. One favourite punishment was immurement which was being sealed within a box and left to starve/suffocate to death. It was not considered adultery for a man to take women as captives on war campaigns or raids or unfortunately even frowned upon. Divorce was possible but it was more common with the peasant and herder class. Women could remarry if they were widowed but they were expected to marry within their husband's family to ensure wealth and assets remained in the family. Nudity was typically not a good idea out in the steppes, it can get really cold out there. LGBTQ relations were banned by Genghis Khan and punishable by death - mainly because Genghis probably feeling bad about killing a shit load of people felt that the population needed a boost. Contraception was limited and not a point of public discussion as the Mongols wanted to expand the population but it was still used. Abortion was not illegal but nor was it accepted widely, it was done discreetly.
Aztec Empire: The Aztecs were one of Mesoamerica's greatest civilisations. Marriages in the Aztec empire were arranged by family elders for social and alliance reasons. Men could engage in premarital sex but was expected to remain faithful to his wife once married. Women had to remain chaste until they were married and were not allowed remarry. Upper class men could have multiple wives and concubines while the lower classes were monogamous. Masturbation was considered shameful and could be punished, especially for women. The Aztecs believed in restraint when it came to sex and intimacy, too much was shameful and was believed to be an offence to the gods. The Aztecs also sometimes used herbs and plants to control or amplify sexual desire. Adultery was very taboo, being not only a moral offence but an offence to the gods. While men were not always punished as harshly as the women, they could still face the threat of death or public humiliation such as multination like nose biting. And it wasn't only the couple who engaged in the act but those who knew about it and failed to report it to the family. Aztecs tended to be more private about sexual matters, it was not a topic one would discuss in public. Same-Sex relationships were punishable by death. Nudity was taboo and there was a strict dress code that prevent any clothing seen as inappropriate. Abortion was practised but it was dangerous due to lack of skill and knowledge and was sometimes forced on women. Contraception was used among some classes via herbs.
Inca Empire: The Incan Empire was the largest empire in South America. Marriages were arranged by elders within the family unit and for financial, social and familial reasons. But it was common for trial marriages to take place, letting the couple live together before the marriage became permanent. Premarital sex was acceptable especially during the trial marriage period. Homosexuality was not penalized and it was acceptable, it was even seen as pleasing to the gods in some instances. Holjoshta were lesbian couples. They were sometimes high in the favour of rulers of the empire and well respected. The Incas were more open about sex, it was a topic that could be spoken of in public. Masturbation was acceptable. Monogamy was practised amongst the lower classes, polygamy practised amongst the upper class. Adultery was punished but usually through social ostracization and stigma rather than violence. Public nudity wasn't taboo but modest dress should be worn when required, especially in formal settings. Abortion was practiced through traditional medicine but was discouraged. Contraception was used discreetly, with herbs and withdrawal.
Song Dynasty: The Song Dynasty of China was a period of great invention and innovation. Confucianism became the dominant voice in shaping the opinions around sex and intimacy. Arranged marriages were common, made to secure social class and status and family alliances. Women were expected to be virgins until they were married but once widowed, they were discouraged from remarrying. Upper class men practised polygamy, having multiple wives and concubines. The main wife had precedence over the other wives and concubines. Premarital sex was frowned on but women faced greater consequences. LGBT relations were common and even fashionable in the elite classes, some of Emperors may have taken men as consorts. Adultery was frowned upon for both men and women, women again facing the harshest consequences when found out. Public nudity was taboo and modesty was expected. Women were expected to cover their legs and feet at all times. Abortion was practiced but under Confucian teachings it was frowned upon. Contraception was a point of discussion among doctors and medical professionals at the time and was used, mainly through barrier methods and herbs.
Ming Dynasty: This Chinese dynasty was the dynasty for the navy, pretty nice vases and the famous Great Wall. The culture of sex, intimacy and nudity grew stricter in this period compared to the previous dynasties we have discussed due to much more influential Confucian ideals. Women were still expected to virtuous and their virginity was highly valued. Men could have premarital sex and while it was frowned upon, they faced little consequence. Men could still have many wives in the upper class with monogamy more common with the lower classes. Divorce was permitted in certain cases but very rare and women would not be allowed to remarry if they were divorced. Widows were expected to remain unmarried in respect for their husbands. Adultery was punished, especially for women. Punishments included flogging, humiliation and even death in some cases. Despite the influence of Confucianism, erotic art and literature was at an all time high. Public nudity was frowned on and women and men were expected to dress modestly with as little as skin showing as possible. Same-Sex relationships were accepted with many men taking male lovers as well as being married. Abortion was illegal but still practised in secret. Contraception was practised despite the encouragement of fertility, using herbs and pessaries.
Holy Roman Empire: The Holy Roman Empire was a vast swathe of territory in central Europe ruled by the Holy Roman Emperor. As you might expect, the HOLY Roman Empire was influenced by Christian doctrine, first Catholic and then numerous Protestant sects. Chastity and virginity were highly valued traits, premarital sex was extremely taboo especially for women. Men were expected to not engage but if they did, it was seen as a necessary evil and they were expected to avoid unmarried and married women and prostitutes - they found ways around this of course. Adultery was highly taboo, especially for women. This was because any child of a woman accused of extramarital affairs could be labelled as illegitimate and be disinherited. Adultery could be punished by corporal punishment and social isolation. Marriages were arranged in the upper class for social and political reasons but commoners also arranged some marriages for economic reasons but the most part, marriages were made for personal reasons. Upper class men and royal men could have mistresses, women who weren't married to them but shared their beds. Illegitimate children were taboo but bastard children of the elite could find some rank and status in society whilst commoners would have been ostracized. Modesty was a big thing, women were expected to wear clothing that covered them up but was loose enough not to suggest the curves of the body. Unmarried girls could leave their hair down but would need to cover it at all times while married women put their hair up and had it covered as well. Same-sex relationships were condemned and punished but same-sex relationships are documented but these would have been kept extremely private. Upper class and nobility had slightly more freedom when same-sex relationships were concerned but only if they were discreet about it. Nudity was very taboo in public. Any sexual act that could not result in children was seen as taboo and extremely immoral. Prostitution was frowned on but it was still a flourishing business. Contraception was used through herbs and withdrawal which was restricted and practised in secret. Abortion was criminalized and punished severely.
Medieval England (early Plantagenets to the Tudors): England's culture around sex and intimacy during this period was shaped by Christianity. Chastity was extremely important and idolised especially for women and more importantly for upper class women. There was an expectation that a bride would bleed on her wedding night to prove she was a virgin but this isn't exactly always possible and bleeding after one's first time isn't as common as you imagine. Premarital sex was frowned upon, especially for women. Men had more freedom around this but it was still frowned on, especially if they fucked around a lot. Adultery was a serious taboo. Women could be imprisoned, socially isolated and could face legal charges. Men were not supposed to commit adultery but they weren't punished as harshly and upper class men were almost expected to take mistresses alongside their wives. It would be frowned upon but it was seen as the norm. Kings especially would take mistresses as it was a status symbol. Sex during menstruation was taboo as it was seen as unclean. Sex during pregnancy was also taboo to protect the foetus and also because there would be no need to have relations with one's wife if she's already pregnant. Sex was had to create children so any other acts were seen as reprehensible and immoral. Modesty was important for women. Hair had to be covered at all times, which is why the introduction of the French Hood in Tudor times was seen as racy because it showed about an inch of hair. Women were expected to dress conservatively and as Protestantism rolled in, they were expected to dress soberly as well. Prostitution, affairs and immoral sexual behaviour could be punished by social ostracism, imprisonment, execution in some extreme cases and public humiliation. Jane Shore, the mistress of Edward IV, was forced to walk down London streets with a lit taper in her shift (her underdress) for crimes of fornication - amongst more crimes. Abortion was illegal but practised in secret through herbal methods. Contraception was limited and restricted due to the Church's teachings but early forms of condoms, herbs and withdrawal were used.
Medieval France (Capets to the Bourbons): As a kingdom in Europe, France's culture around sex and intimacy was shaped by Christian ideals. Premarital sex was taboo but enforcement differed for gender. Chastity was important for women, especially the upper class. Marriages were arranged in the upper classes and some commoners but commoners tended to marry for personal reasons. Adultery was a serious offence for both men and women but of course women faced harsher punishments off the back of questions around the paternity of children, especially in the upper class - like the scandal of Tour de Nesle in 1314 which was one of the seeds sown for the Hundred Years War. However, men could engage in premarital sex, again in moderation and not with married/unmarried women or prostitutes - they got around it. Upper class men could have mistresses, it wasn't quite acceptable but it was tolerated. Modesty was expected for women of all classes, covered hair and covered everything else - funnily enough, the mistress Agnes Sorel was painted with her favourite tit out and it was rumoured she even styled her gowns to show off her boob. Same-sex relationships was punished but like the other European nations of the time, same-sex relations did happen and were tolerated amongst the elite as long as it was discreet. Sexually transmitted diseases were common. Sex acts without the expectation of children were seen as immoral along with prostitution but of course, it was a thriving business. Abortion was illegal and punished severely. Contraception was restricted and condemned by the Church but was still practised quietly with herbs, early forms of condoms made from animal intestines and withdrawal.
Medieval Spain (From Al-Andalus - Kingdom of Spain): Spain is an interesting example for Europe as the beginning of this time period saw a mixture of Muslim, Christian and Jewish influence around the culture of sex and intimacy. These three faiths shared commonality in terms of ideas of sexual morality. Chastity was valued throughout all of these communities with premarital sex frowned on for both men and women - men did get some freedom around it but they still could face judgement. Virginity was valued for women, especially the upper class. Marriages were arranged, especially in the upper class. Polygamy and concubinage was permitted in Islamic communities while monogamy was the way to go for Christian and the Jewish community. Las Siete Partidas was a legal code that outlined the relegations and social opinions for marriage and sexual morality in the 13th century. Adultery was a serious offence for all communities. Jewish communities had special courts called Beth Din that followed strict laws (Halakha) around fidelity within marriage. Islamic courts punished infidelity through fines, physical punishment and sometimes death concerning the case. Christian communities frowned on extramarital sex but men had more freedom and upper class men often had mistresses. Modesty was important for all the communities. Christian and Jewish women dressed conservatively, covering their hair after marriage. Islamic women were expected to be veiled in public but enforcement varied from community to community. LGBTQ relations were frowned on by all communities and punished. However, in Al-Andalus Islamic ruled Spain, there was some evidence in literature that same-rex relationships did occur. A same sex marriage was even recorded in 1061 between Pedro DĂaz and MuĂąo Vandilaz. Sodomy was punished through castration, execution and stoning. But homoerotism was a theme that features in many poems and literature in Renaissance Spain. Prostitution was frowned on but still flourished. Non-child producing sex acts were seen as highly immoral. Contraception was used but the teachings of the Church and Islam condemned along with abortion. Abortion was criminalized but practiced in secret.
Medieval Italy: Now get the idea of a unified Italy right out of your head. Italy was we know it is a fairly recent thing. Back in this period, Italy was a collection of city states, duchies and kingdoms all with very differing cultures around sex but as the home of the Pope and centre of Catholicism, they shared some similar moral codes. Chastity was important, especially for women. Premarital sex frowned upon but men could have more sexual freedom but before and after marriage though it was frowned on. Marriage was made for personal reasons for commoners and arranged in the upper class, though some commoners did arrange marriages for economic reasons. Adultery was a taboo but noblemen and rulers often kept mistresses, which was frowned on but tolerated. Women who cheated were often punished by social isolation and imprisonment in some cases. While the Pope would actively preach against extramarital affairs, most Popes of this period had mistresses and a few bastard children. Rome was seen as a moral centre with strict moral rules since it was the holy city but it was also full of priests and noblemen who kept mistresses and flaunted the rules. Modesty was important for women, they had to dress conservatively but as the Renaissance flourished, fashion shifted a little and modest clothing got more flare. Courtesans could bend the rules around modesty and still retain the respect of society. played a unique role, often defying modesty norms while holding influence in society. Venice was a more tolerant city state and courtesans were very respected, especially amongst elite circles for their skills and company. Prostitution was regulated and thriving in city states like Florence. Milan and Naples were stricter when it came to sexual morality but still retained some features of the Renaissance culture around nudity and sex, though Christian ideals were paramount. Florence was sexually liberated in some cases but there was a dark period during the rule of Savonarola (1494â1498) were sexual morality was heavily policed, including trials of same-sex relations. LGBTQ relations were condemned but as the Renaissance flourished, there was a culture around same-sex relations especially in art and literature. There is evidence that same-sex relations took place in many religious institutions such as the trial of Benedetta Carlini, a nun accused of a same-sex relationship. Nudity was frowned on in public but art began to depict the human body in various states of undress. Sexually transmitted diseases also flourished, especially syphilis. Contraception was used, with herbal remedies and pessaries but the use was restricted due to condemnation by the Church. Abortion was illegal and held severe punishment but was practised discreetly.
The Baroque & Rococo Era (1600sâ1800s)
The Baroque and Rococo eras were eras of excess and luxury and indulgence. It was an age of post-exploration and the beginnings of colonialism, meaning the spread and clash of many cultures around sex, nudity and intimacy.
Edo Japan/The Tokugawa Shogunate: The Tokugawa Shogunate was one of the interesting periods in Japanese history. Marriages were arranged for social, political and economic reasons and sometimes for personal reasons but these was less important. Premarital sex and chastity was different for each class. Women of the samurai class were expected to be modest and chaste while the men were permitted to have concubines. Premarital sex was more commonly accepted in the lower classes. Adultery was taboo but men faced fewer consequences though they were expected to remain faithful to their wives. Same-sex relationships were accepted, especially in the samurai class and amongst kabuki actors who would sometimes be involved with their patrons. Women were expected to be modest and dress modestly. But this era saw the emergence of erotic art, which grew in popularity depicting both homosexual and hetero relationships. Prostitution became licensed by the shogunate and became more regulated, taking place only within designated areas of cities. Prostitutes were indentured servants who often came from poor families who would work to pay for their their keep. Male sex workers did work in these districts also. Contraception was used discreetly, mainly with withdrawal, herbal remedies, and condoms. The use of these were mainly acceptable for prostitutes and courtesans. Abortion was dangerous and frowned upon, infanticide (mabiki) rates were high.
The Ottoman Empire: The Ottoman Empire was one of the most powerful empires during this period. Due to Islamic teachings, female chastity and modesty were highly valued. Adultery was highly taboo and strictly punished especially for women. Sexual assault was seen as morally reprehensible and punished severely. Premarital sex did occur, mainly in the lower classes but was highly discouraged. Modesty was expected for women, they were to be veiled and dressed modestly if they were out in public, which was rare. Same-sex relationships did happen and was common amongst upper class men though technically against moral codes. Perhaps the most interesting part of the Ottoman Empire's culture around sexual relationships is the Imperial Harem. This was the place were the Sultan's concubines lived. If a woman caught the Sultan's fancy, she would be a handed a handkerchief by the Sultan's attendant which acted as a summons to his Chambers. Most of the chosen women were actually earmarked by the Sultan's mother who advised him on his reign and sought to ensure that he chosen women who could bear children and be shrewd enough to raise their sons into potential Sultans. The women were not permitted to leave the harem but were offered every comfort they could ask for and most never actually had to have relations with the Sultan. If you're interesting in the harem as a topic, I have this post here. Abortion was criminalized but still practised discreetly. Withdrawal and herbal remedies were used to prevent pregnancy but was still frowned on.
The Mughal Empire: The Mughal Empire spanned much of present-day India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, and Afghanistan. The culture around sex and sexual morality was influenced by both Islam and Persia. The culture around sex prized modesty and chastity in women. Women were expected to dress modestly and be chaste before marriage. Islamic law held premarital sex to be taboo but punishment varied from community to community. Noble men could have harems. Harems were closed, secluded communities of women who were sexually available to the nobleman or Emperor. and could practise polygamy while women were monogamous. Men could even still have extramarital affairs without stigma as virility was tied to their worth as a man. Same-sex relationships were taboo under Islamic law but they did exist, though these relationships were usually given the whole "just really good friends" treatment. Art, poetry and literature celebrated same-sex relationships. Contraception such as herbs and withdrawal were used but was mainly used by elite circles. Abortion was frowned on due to the importance of fertility but still practised.
The Safavid Empire (Persia): The Safavid Empire was one of the most important periods of Persia/Iran. The culture around sex and sexually morality was shaped by existing traditions and Islam. Women were expected to remain chaste and her 'honour' was tied to that of the family's honour which could effect their social status. Marriages were arranged by families looking to make alliances with other families. Public displays of affection were seen as taboo. Adultery was also a very taboo concept with women being punished severely while men faced less severe consequences - elite men were even permitted to have relations with concubines and enslaved women. Concubines were often women captured at war, hailing mostly from surrounding lands. Like the Ottoman concubines they were given all the luxuries they could ask for but would not be permitted to leave. Concubines could be the mothers of new shahs and noblemen and their children were not considered illegitimate. Men could also have Sigheh marriages which were temporary marriages with women. These women had some rights but not the same as official wives. Sigheh was only practised by Shi'a Muslims while Sunni Muslims did not recognise the practise. Public nudity was not acceptable in any instance, especially for women. Women were expected to be fully covered in public by veils or wearing chadors. Men were also expected to dress modestly. Contraception was used but in a limited role as fertility was valued but herbs and withdrawal was used. Abortion was discouraged but still practised in secret.
Stuart England: Stuart England oversaw the fall and restoration of the monarchy and boy oh boy did the monarchy come back with a bang. Premarital sex was stigmatised for women while men, though while expected through religious practise to be chaste before marriage, had the freedom to have premarital sex as long as it wasn't with a prostitute or an unmarried or married woman. Female purity was linked to a woman's social worth and she would be ostracized publicly for any stain on her honour. Pregnancy outside marriage was taboo and illegitimate children were socially ostracized - depending on class. Adultery was shameful and sinful but the upper classes did get away with conducting affairs as long as they were discreet about it. Women who were accused of adultery could be beaten, whipped and publicly shamed. Elite men could have mistresses and these women were often treated with the same honour and respect as their official wives. Charles II had multiple mistresses going at the same time and they were lavished with court positions, titles and estates - one was even a French spy. Modesty was the norm, especially under the rule of Cromwell and earlier Puritan movements but the elite flaunted these rules, often being painted half naked or in various statues of undress. Prostitution thrived but were sometimes subjected to raids and shutdowns whenever the government wanted to preach morality. Prostitutes could often be publicly humiliated or imprisoned. Special ecclesiastical courts were set up to deal with sexual morality, hearing cases on adultery and fortification. While nudity in public was frowned on, the Stuart era saw the flourishing of political pamphlets where both women and men of the elite class were depicted in insulting pornographic drawings. Same-sex relations were criminalized and severely punished but some same-sex relationships existed and were permitted as long as they were handled discreetly. As for contraception, herbal, condoms, withdrawal, and pessaries were used but knowledge and accessibility was kept a secret due to religious pressure. Abortion was illegal but still practised mainly through herbal remedies.
Bourbon France (The Sun King has Arrived): When you think of decadence and indulgent sexual culture, you're probably thinking of one guy: Louis XIV the Sun King. While adultery was condemned by the church, the nobility flaunted those expectations and often conducted affairs with lovers and one another. Louis was particularly famous for this, keeping numerous mistresses on call at the same time. These women were seen as sexually immoral and often banned from hearing mass or taking communion. But these women were also seen as a necessary part of monarchy and power and the more mistresses or the prettier the mistress, the more of a man that guy was. Same-sex relationships were condemned by if handled discreetly they were ignored. The King's brother, Philippe d'Orleans, was openly gay and had many prominent male lovers and was spared persecution due to his position. Adultery was punished and usually women faced the worst brunt. Premarital sex was taboo but the commons and the nobility often engaged before marriage. A woman's virginity was tied to her social reputation and she was expected to guard her chastity. Nudity would have been taboo and modesty was also prized but the court of Versailles saw the rule of modest dress used as a jump rope. Prostitution was one of the biggest industries in France but those who engaged in it, as customer or provider did face social stigma. Sex was parodied in political pamphlets. Abortion was criminalised and punished severely, though it was still practised and highly dangerous. Contraception was used but restricted by the church through condoms, withdrawal and herbal remedies.
Georgian England: The Georgians were known for their affairs behind closed doors while preaching morality on the streets. Prostitution flourished. The nobility conducted numerous and long term affairs, men as well as women though women were expected to keep those affairs discreet. George I had two mistresses who he conducted public affairs but he still imprisoned his wife for daring to have a lover. Marriages were arranged for political, familial or financial reasons but marriages for love were not unheard of. Almost all of the sons of George III got into trouble for marrying without permission, from everybody to mistresses and *gasp* Catholics. Premarital sex was a taboo but men had more freedom around the rule. Same-sex relationships were illegal but did happen and were ignored among the elite and wealthy as long as it was discreet. Sex scandals were common, especially among the elite and politicians. Their sexual promiscuity was often printed on pamphlets and passed around for the public to laugh at their expense. Sexually transmitted infections were at an all time high. It was said that 1 in 5 Londoners had some form of STI. Abortion was illegal but still practised, usually through herbal remedies. Birth control was used but condemned by the church through remedies, condoms and withdrawal.
Revolutionary France: You would think that with France drenched in the blood of her elite and royal family that they would turn away from sexual immorality. That would be a hard no. The French Revolution was a time of sexual liberation and the shedding of old superstitions of morality. Premarital sex was more acceptable for men and women, though there were still some expectation that women would maintain their virginity until marriage. Same-sex relations were still frowned on but was officially decriminalised in 1791. Laws and restrictions around marriages were relaxed, it became more of a civil contract than a religious service. Divorce was easier to obtain and less stigmatised. Adultery was still taboo but became less of a big deal. Prostitution was still rampant and while technically illegal it was no longer seen a pressing matter to focus on. Modesty was still prized but it was less linked to sexual morality but a rejection of the luxuries that the Revolution overthrew. Contraception was used but limited though there were discussions about normalizing it; mainly via withdrawal, herbs and condoms. Abortion was illegal and still dangerously practised in secret.
Imperial Russia: Imperial Russia during these centuries was a relatively late arrival on the world stage of the West. Imperial Russia was influenced heavily by the Orthodox church which preached the importance of modesty, fidelity and chastity in men and women. Premarital sex was taboo, more for women and then men and virginity was linked to a woman's reputation. Adultery was punishable through social ostracization, physical punishments and social humiliation. Men could get away with it but it was still cause for shame. Same-rex relations were criminalized but discreet circles did exist. Prostitution was regulated with the government concerned about the sexual health of soldiers. There was definitely a divide between the expectation of sexual morality for the poor and the elite. The elite conducted affairs by both men and women, men often had mistresses and there were numerous illegitimate children - even Empress Catherine the Great had an illegitimate son and conducted numerous affairs. But the poor were stricter when it came to sexual morality with adultery, premarital sex and illegitimacy being extremely taboo. Abortion was illegal but still practised through sometimes very dangerous means. Contraception was limited due to fertility being important but methods such as withdrawal and herbs were used.
Qing Dynasty China: Qing Dynasty was the last Imperial period within China. There was a rigid culture around sex and sexuality shaped by the state and Confucian values and ideals. Chastity was a virtue and women were expected to be virgins when they married and celibate when they were widowed. crucial for women, and widows were expected to remain celibate. Premarital sex was stigmatized even for men, but some elite classes got a pass and escaped scrutiny. Some courtesans influential in both political and social circles. Visiting brothels did carry stigma but they were seen as businesses and important for major cities. The Qing Dynasty sought to crack down on them, regulating them and enforcing taxation. Adultery was illegal but men did not face as harsh a punishment and was tolerated among elite circles. The highest ranking elite could have concubines alongside their wives but this was not considered adultery. The Qing Dynasty sought to regulate sexual behaviour, mainly among the lower class. Strict laws were brough in to punish immoral behaviour, enforcing harsher punishments for adultery, prostitution, and sexual immorality. Same-sex relationships were criminalized but did still exist and were sometimes tolerated artistic circles. Modesty was expected for both men and women. Women wore robes with high collared and long sleeves while men also wore long robes and high-collars. Contraception was restricted as fertility was important, withdrawal and herbs were used. Abortion was illegal but still practised in secret.
The Age of Imperialism (1800s-1900s)
This is perhaps the age one thinks about when they think about historical and conservative views on sex and intimacy. And you would be right in some respects but there are a few misconceptions we will clear up here.
The Regency: Bridgerton would have you believe that in the Regency, everybody was fuckin'. And to an extent, it is accurate. The Regency, while a period of public morality was also an era of sexual indulgence. Women were expected to be chaste while men were given more freedom around their sexuality, especially in the upper classes. Adultery was very taboo but women faced harsher consequences. Illegitimacy was also scandalous, especially in the lower classes with the elite either hiding their illegitimate children or formally accepting and supporting them. Public displays of affection and intimacy were frowned upon, especially for the upper class so no, that one scene of Daphne and the Duke in the gardens would have scandalised the servants. The elite were infamous for their sex scandals, with rumours of threesomes and orgies leaking to the public who were officially shocked but also glorified in the gossip. Homosexuality was illegal and harshly punished but again if it was discreet, they could be tolerated. Prostitution flourished. Sexually transmitted infections dwindled a little from the previous century but were still rampant. Modesty was expected but it should be noted that women's dresses, began to show off more skin that before. Abortion was illegal and carried stigma. Women often accessed dangerous methods to abort unwanted pregnancies and infanticide and abandonment had high rates. Contraception was available but unreliable. Home remedies, withdrawal and condoms made from animal intestines were used but were seen as immoral.
Victorian Britain: Victorians are the first historical people you think of when you think of prudishness in history. You are right but also wrong. The Victorians were more rigid and conservative than in the Regency, the women were dressed more modestly and the men were expected to remain faithful - or at least have the good sense to have affairs in private. Victorians wouldn't have fainted by seeing a woman's ankle for instance. The Victorians while outwardly conservative and being surrounded by a moral code shaped by their faith, were not sexually repressed. Much evidence points to a culture interested in sex, in this era many erotic literature and art was produced and while scandalous, they weren't illegal. Queen Victorian even wrote in her diary about sex with her husband. Homosexuality was criminalized but they were common and accepted in some circles and usually tolerated as long it was conducted privately. Of course, when it was discovered, imprisonment and hard labour were common punishments, with the Irish playwright Oscar Wilde being sentenced after his affair with another man was brought to court. Victorian women were expected to uphold the Christian values of fidelity and chastity but many women did have active sex lives and even took pleasure in sex, though technically they weren't supposed to. Sex was mainly for reproduction but there is evidence in many letters and diaries of the time that show both men and women engaged in sex for pleasure. Prostitution thrived in cities, especially in London. This was mainly due to the harsh conditions faced by working class women or those who had "fallen" , i.e. pregnant outside marriage. Pregnancy outside of marriage was common in the lower classes and led to social isolation for the mother. Many mothers in the era ended up abandoning their children at orphanages or worse. Illegitimacy was taboo in both wealthy and poor circles. Adultery was a scandalous taboo but as I said above, if it was discreet it did pass under the radar especially for men. Masturbation was considered a sin for both men and women, with doctors even claiming it could make a person blind. Courtesans were still seen as immoral women but they were influential in politics and artistic circles with some of them like Cora Pearl, shaping fashion for the time. While love was romanticised in literature, duty was more important and it was on the back of duty marriages were made. The phrase 'lie back and think of England' was a myth. There was some sexual education and most people would have an idea where children came from. Contraception was extremely taboo but they were accessible through discreet channels and advertised in newspapers. Condoms, diaphragms and pessaries were used. Abortion was extremely taboo but still accessible, with poor women having to seek dangerous procedures at the hands of inexperienced and unhygienic hands. This led to high rates of abandonment of infants and children and infanticide.
The Meiji Period: The Meiji period of Japan saw the influence of Western ideology take hold in the Empire, introducing more rigid rules around the culture of sex. Female chastity was important and it was expected that every woman would replicate the traits that surrounded the figure of the ryĹsai kenbo which was the idealized wife and mother. Sex was no longer a topic to be discussed in public and art and literature was censored and depictions of sex were seen as immoral. Prostitution was still acceptable but the Meiji government introduced harsher restrictions and regulations on brothels and pleasure districts. Sex work was starting to be seen as a consequence of social problems and less as a profession. Even Geishas who were respected - entertainers not sex workers, it must be mentioned - were beginning to face scrutiny from society. Premarital sex was now taboo. Adultery was also heavily stigmatised, especially for women and while men had freedom, they were expected to keep their affairs a secret. Same-sex relationships were now beginning to be fully suppressed and mention of same-sex relations faced censorship. Sexual education was limited but conversations on sexual morality were widespread. The Meiji period was also a period for an interest in research around sex, with many doctors taking interest in STIs and sexuality. Contraceptive methods were withdrawal, remedies, and condoms but not easily accessible or condoned due to the pro-natalist beliefs. Abortion was illegal with both parties imprisoned, leading to rates of infanticide.
Antebellum America - The American Gilded Age: The United States at this time was just coming to terms with their independence and this era saw the cementing of the culture around sex and intimacy. The states held a strict public moral image of restraint and modesty but that was undercut by private dealings. Sex scandals amongst the elite, wealthy and politicians were common and was top gossip amongst the working class. Women were expected to be modest and chaste, with many movements focused around promoting the ideal women who was pious, virtuous and chaste. Men had more sexual freedom than women but were expected to keep any affairs and sexual liaisons discreet. Adultery was frowned upon for both men and women but women often faced more social ostracization than men. Same-sex relations were illegal but did occur on a down-low basis, mostly within artistic communities. The government sought to regulate sexual morality and behaviour. Contraception was not widely available, sex education was censored and not widespread and prostitution was a thriving business and nearly always at the heart of the argument between morality and business. Marriages were made mainly for social and financial security though love matches were not unheard of. The legality and acceptance of interracial relationships and marriages varied from state to state, with some states tolerating it while some cracked down on it with extreme force. Mixed-race children often faced stigma from both communities. During slavery, many enslaved women and men faced sexual violence from slavers and landowners with little recourse for justice or protection against the advances. Some slavers took enslaved women as mistresses and children who came from these unions were considered slaves rather than free. Slavers often arranged 'marriages' between slaves in order to generate more slaves. Refusal for these relationships and advances from slavers were often met with violence and in some cases, death. Contraception was criminalised along with abortion under the Comstock Laws but condoms, diaphragms, and home remedies were accessible through secret channels.
Napoleonic France: Post-Revolution saw much change in the structure and culture within France. Under Napoleon, the sexual liberation during the Revolution was set aside for more stricter moral codes around sex. Women were expected to fall back into old rules around chastity and modesty. Premarital sex was taboo but men faced less consequences than women. Adultery was criminalised but men often escaped the harsh consequences faced by women. Same-sex relations were not illegal but socially they were unaccepted, though they continued on a down-low basis. Prostitution was regulated and controlled by the government. The elite class still conducted affairs despite Napoleon's insistence on the importance of the family unit and wife's duty - though he himself had no moral ground to stand on if you read some of his letters to his wife Josephine. Abortion was criminalised in 1810 and was punished severely. Contraception was limited due to Napoleonic beliefs in population growth but withdrawal and home remedies were used.
Belle Ăpoque France: France near the end of this century saw the return of sexual liberation, especially in Paris. While publicly, one's sexuality was restricted to ideas of chastity and fidelity, private affairs were tolerated if they were discreet. Prostitution was a thriving cornerstone of business in cities and it faced numerous debates on whether to abolish the practise but they never got around to it. Male prostitution often faced more regulation than female by the authorities. Famous courtesans of France lead the fashions and culture, patronising writers and artists and hosting royalty and famous names in their salons. Premarital sex became less of a taboo, especially in the upper class but women were still expected to show a semblance of chastity. Adultery was common for men and women but still faced some stigma. Modesty was still expected but women started to get more daring in their cuts and choice of fabrics. Sexual education was limited and any topic covering sex was usually censored. Abortion was illegal but still practised. Birth control was used, with condoms and diaphragms more accessible but still very controversial.
The German Empire: The German Empire was one of the more stricter cultures around sex. Women were expected to be chaste and dress modesty at all times. Premarital sex was a no-no, especially for women with men having more freedom. Adultery was taboo and fidelity expected from women and men but men did face less consequences. Same-sex relationships were illegal and a point of interest for authorities, though same-sex relations did happen in secret. Prostitution wasn't banned though it was often scrutinised by moral purity leagues who sought to see them shut down. Public displays of affection were frowned on. Erotic literature and art were suppressed and considered vulgar. Sex scandals did occur and were seen as disgraceful rather than entertaining as they were in other countries. Marriages were arranged for social and financial benefit. Abortions were illegal but there was dialogue open for reform and activism around the matter. Contraception was restricted but still available, mainly through discreet channels. Condoms and diaphragms were used but still very controversial.
Zulu Empire: The Empire of the Zulu was a powerful nation in the southern tip of Africa. The Zulu were a proud people, who beat the British (this has nothing to do with anything but that fact does cheer me up) and their culture around sex and intimacy was shaped around their own tradition and outside influences. Virginity was highly valued among women and women were expected to be modest. Polygamy was common but only in the upper class and chiefs. Ilobolo or a bride price was a requirement for marriage which was usually arranged between families. Premarital sex however was regulated and was sometimes a part of rituals before marriage and was accepted. Adultery was punishable especially for women. Same-sex relationships are harder to confirm as there is little evidence of whether they faced stigma or were accepted but later, due to colonial influence, restrictions were imposed. The sexual culture of the Zulu was often exaggerated and manipulated by colonial forces who viewed them as primitive and uncultured and was often one of the aspects of Zulu culture that the colonial authorities attempted to destroy and regulate to Western ideals. The Zulu used herbs to regulate their fertility and planning their families but the use of them were often discouraged due to the desire for large families. Abortion was practised through traditional remedies but while not illegal, this was a discreet procedure as fertility was prized.
Ethiopian Empire: Ethiopia was one of the few African nations that escaped colonialism. The culture around sex was influenced by the Orthodox church and local custom. Women were expected to be chaste and premarital sex was taboo for men and women, with women facing more consequences when caught. Same-sex relations weren't accepted and likely occurred in secret but Western influences from the outside soon strengthened the disapproval. Prostitution was seen as immoral but did thrive in cities. Marriages were arranged by families for alliances and economic reasons. Gabra or bride price was customary. Polygamy did occur but usually outside those in the empire who practised Christianity. Women were expected to dress modestly and wear clothes that reflected their marital status. Colonials often mispresented the sexual practises of the Ethiopian Empire, usually to make themselves look better in comparison. Traditional herbal contraception was used but the use was discouraged as fertile was valued. Abortion was practised but it was very stigmatized for the same reason, leading to unsafe abortions.
Ashanti Empire: The Ashanti Empire was located in West Africa near modern-day Ghana. Women were expected to be modest and their virginity was a virtue however, premarital relations during courtship were sometimes permitted though these were regulated. Marriages were mainly arranged for social reasons with gyaase or bride price paid between the families of the couple. Women still could have loyalty to their families and their children were seen as part of their bloodline, not their father's. Polygamy was practised amongst the elite as a status symbol, with first wives having precedence. Divorce was possible. Men had some sexual freedom but overindulgence was seen as shameful. Adultery was punishable, with harsher consequences for women. Same-sex relations are not widely documented but likely occurred in secret. Colonial influence would begin to take over after the Empire was stolen in 1901, with polygamy one of the target points which saw it pushed into more rural communities. Contraception mainly involved herbal mixtures which recipes were guarded secrets passed down from generation to generation. Abortion was a topic of debate but accessible through herbal remedies.
The Early 20th Century (1900-1950s)
The Early half of the 20th Century was the beginning of the modernisation of sex culture, which was spurned on by the turbulent decades.
Edwardian England: The Edwardians were sandwiched between the Victorian age and the Roaring 20s but sex culture was still an important feature of the society. Sex was not discussed on public; it was still seen as a taboo. Modesty was high valued for women. Premarital sex was still very taboo, mostly for women with men facing less harsher consequences. Women were expected to be virgins before marriage, especially the upper class and virginity was tied to a womanâs worth. They were expected to be sexually passive and desire for a woman was not seen as possible, especially amongst the elite. Adultery was still condemned with men still facing less stricter consequences. The upper class was seen to be the pinnacle of moral virtue but in reality, they were conducting more affairs than the lower classes. The King, was even nicknamed Edward the Caresser for all the affairs and sex scandals he conducted before and during his reign. Upper class women even conducted affairs, though these were usually discreet. House parties for the rich and wealthy were breeding grounds for extramarital affairs, with Margaret Greville a famous socialite of the period even known for having her servants rouse all her guests who had fallen asleep in the wrong beds before their displacement was noted. Prostitution was still legal though it was regulated by the state in some areas. STIs were widespread and stigmatized. The government began to worry about the rise of infections, leading to intervention, especially concerning prostitution. Sex scandals were seen as a taboo but did happen among the elite. Homosexuality was illegal and heavily stigmatized, with communities facing severe discrimination but communities still existed. Sex education was very limited. Legitimate children were very taboo as were pregnancies outside of marriage. Contraception was very limited and only available in discreet circumstances as its use was seen as extremely immoral. Condoms and diaphragms were used during this period but the old unreliable withdrawal method was used as well. Abortion was illegal and seen as immoral. But abortion was still practised, the elite could access it through discreet doctors and working-class women could access less skilled practitioners, but abortion was very unsafe due to lack of knowledge, hygiene leading to high death rates.
Weimar Republic: The Weimar Republic was one of the most sexually liberated communities in this time. Sex and romance became points of interest during the period with a loosening around old moralities. Premarital sex was still taboo, but it became more common. Adultery was still taboo, but men faced less consequences than women, but the topic started to become a point of discussion. Abortion was still illegal but the Communist and Socialist parties advocated for its decimalization. Abortion was still practised and did carry some taboo in some circles. Birth control clinics were established with contraception like condoms, diaphragms, and spermicides becoming more widely available and less stigmatized. Sexuality and gender identity were beginning to gain ground in schools of thought, becoming important points of research. A leading voice in this battle was Magnus Hirschfeld whose institute studied and lobbied for LGBTQ+ rights and gender studies, offering support and fighting for rights. Cities especially Berlin started to become more sexually liberated. Cabarets and erotic works like literature and art became more mainstream. Prostitution was made legal in 1927. More worry was placed on reducing venereal diseases than the moral stain of prostitution. STIs effected most cities and the government started to take a more mans on role, with medical care and awareness made more mainstream and accessible. Clinics were set up to combat STIs and treat them. Sex education was pushed to be more comprehensive and accessible, but it was met with some pushback from conservative groups. The media of the Weimar Republic was exploring more themes around sex and sexuality than before, even homosexuality with the star and gay icon Marlene Dietrich even sharing one of cinemaâs first lesbian kisses on screen. Magazines began to run articles opening dialogue around sex and sex health, with the discuss around sex more open than before with censorship made more lax. However, good times never last and the conservative groups backed by growing right-wing parties lead to the backlash against a perceived moral decline. Sexual expression and freedoms began to decline as Germany slipped toward fascist control.
Soviet Union: The Soviet Union was a strange one because it began very sexual liberal and ended â in the time frame we discuss here - very conservative. Early Soviet Union saw to more sexual freedom for all, under the banner of escaping the old regimeâs views on sex. Marriage laws were laxer and divorce was now better accessible and more acceptable. LGBTQ relationships were made legal in 1922 and while still socially stigmatized in some circles, there were steps to change that. Abortion was also made legal in 1920 and made accessible. Prostitution was not exactly illegal but discouraged. The government sought to get sex workers involved in new job training programs. Contraception was limited but the withdrawal method and rhythm method were commonly used. The government first tolerated it but then stated to promote it in order to relieve pressure on abortion services. Adultery was still taboo but men still had more freedom around it. Women were still expected to be modest and avoid premarital sex but premarital sex was common in the era and wasnât as stigmatized as before. But by the 1930s, a more conservative opinion was taking over. Abortion was made illegal in 1936 and re-legalized in 1955. Prostitution was more repressed with sex workers often arrested and set to labour camps, for other charges. Sex became a taboo topic again and sex education was limited. Media was censored around mentions of sex and sexuality and romance was usually second fiddle to marital duty to the state. But there were underground samizdat (self-published literature) did circulated around sex and sexuality. LGBTQ relationships were now decriminalized by 1934 and many people were sent to the labour camps and arrested. LGBTQ communities still existed though now in secret. Adultery was frowned upon. Sex was weaponised by the regime and NKVD. In the 1950s, one of the leaders of the Soviet Union, Lavrentiy Beria was brought to trial on treason charges but during this trial, his sexual predation was made public. Beria coerced and forced many women, usually young teenage girls into sex to avoid arrest or imprisonment. Beriaâs sexual perversions were so bad and well known, that Stalin himself ordered his daughter to avoid being alone with Beria in any circumstance. Beria kept a list of his victims which was made public 2003. Beria was shot begging for his life and his remains burned and scattered to the winds.
1920s America: The Roaring 20s was a time for partying and letting loose after the horrors of WWI. Women became to push against their traditional roles, they became to wear more revealing clothes, abandoning ideas of dressing for modesty and focusing more on practicality and fashion. Premarital sex was still taboo, especially for women but it was more common in this era. Adultery was still taboo, but men got more tolerance from society. LGBTQ relationships were still criminalised, but many communities still existed, especially in urban and artistic circles. Interracial relationships faced stigma. In many states, any interracial marriage or relationships were illegal. Anti-miscegenation laws fuelled tensions. The Rhinelander v. Rhinelander case (1924) underscored the interracial tensions and resistance: Leonard Rhinelander, a white man married a biracial woman named Alice Jones and later sued her for an annulment because of her racial identity. However, some communities in the North, mostly in cities it must be said were more receptive to interracial relationships. But it should be remembered that there was still a stigma, especially if the relationship was a between a Black man and a white woman; white men paired with Black women was more tolerated. Media at this time explored themes around sex and sexuality but there was restriction around the portrayal of interracial relationships.
Peopleâs Republic of China: Â Under the regime of Mao, sex and sex culture was policed by the state. The regime believed in a strict conservative culture around sex. Sex was not discussed in public. Maoist ideals underscored modesty and duty. Marriage was seen as a duty to the state with romance taking a backseat. Men and women were expected to marry and have very large families. Anybody who remained unmarried was viewed with distrust as they were seen as failing the state because they werenât reproducing. LGBTQ+ communities were seen as âcounterrevolutionaryâ and was classed as a mental illness right up until 2001. LGBTQ people were often coerced into marriages in order to escape persecution. Birth control was not widely available as the government under Mao wanted to expand the population but was still available discreetly through underground channels. Abortion was legal but restricted and as the population started to become a concern for the government, those restrictions were lifted. Public displays of affection were seen as unacceptable, and the media repressed any discussions or portrayal of sex and sexuality. Sex education was not available.
Nazi Germany: As you might have guessed, the Nazis were not pioneers of sexual liberalism. Building support on the back of the backlash of the sexual revolution of the Republic, the Nazis framed themselves as sexual moralistic, reinstating traditional views on sexual morality, gender norms and instating a new policy of racial purity and doctrine, all closely monitored by the state. Under the Nazi regime, women were expected to avoid premarital sex and dress modestly. Men faced less consequences around premarital sex, mainly because it underscored ideas around masculinity and virility. Adultery was condemned but men had more freedom to conduct affairs without facing societal backlash, though the elite often conducted affairs. However, there was a strict expectation of avoiding extramarital affairs as sexual morality was one of the foundations of the party. One of Hitlerâs closest advisors, Goebbels was sternly reprimanded by Hitler himself for conducting an affair with a Czech actress, not only for the disrespect to his wife who Hitler was very fond of but also for damaging the partyâs reputation. Virility was an important point for the Nazis. Aryan families were expected to produce many children; premarital sex was often tolerated as long as it was between Aryan couples as the regime wanted to expand the population. The Lebensborn program encouraged women to bear more children, even outside of marriage with members of the SS to increase the population of the âracially pureâ. There were homes set up to support these women and their children. LGBTQ relationships were illegal, with many members of the community arrested, executed and imprisoned in concentration camps. The pink triangle symbol marked out those persecuted by the Nazis. Any relationships between âAryansâ and ânon-Aryansâ were illegal and were punished severely. The Nazis often targeted minorities for sexual restrictions, including forced sterilizations and abortions. Abortion was illegal in Nazi Germany along with contraception for Aryans while both were encouraged and made accessible for Jewish women, the disabled and any other minority the Nazis had a problem with. Prostitution was legal and regulated, the state monitored sex work and sometimes even set aside brothels strictly for the use of their members, especially the SS. The Nazi regime was concerned about STIs, especially for their soldiers, so they launched initiatives for prevention. Sexual violence was also used as a weapon by the Nazis during the war, especially among the Eastern Front.
Fascist Italy: Fascist Italy, like Nazi Germany, had a culture of sex and intimacy that was tied to the ideology of the fascist regime that ruled it, outlining what was acceptable and taboo. The regime underscored ideas of masculinity, men were expected to father large families and women were expected to focus on their families, rewarded by the state for having many children. Premarital sex was still taboo, with men able to enjoy more freedom than women. Adultery was taboo, with men having less consequences than women. While same-sex relationships werenât illegal, they still faced persecution, especially homosexual men as they were seen as an affront to the masculine ideals held by the regime. Racial purity was one of the ideals pushed by the regime, which discouraged any interracial relationships and marriages. Reproduction was a powerful weapon for the regime, underlining their ideals around eugenics and racial might but only amongst Italians, with other groups facing restrictions on their reproductive rights. Sex was not a topic that was discussed in public, the regime favoured a more conservative view around sex and sexuality.
Vichy France: After the fall of France in WWII, the Nazis established control in parts of the country, imposing their conservative views on sex and intimacy. Premarital sex was discouraged and had huge societal consequences, especially for women. Women were expected to be modest and chaste and reproduce. Access to abortions and contraceptives were banned though there were channels to access these. Adultery was frowned upon, but men did not face the same harsh consequences as the women. Homosexuality was not illegal, but the community faced more repression and were often the target of raids and arrests. STIs were a state concern but they focused mainly on the moral implication that health issues and safety protocols. The media was censored heavily, removing all discussions around sex and intimacy from films and literature. Prostitution was still legal but now under more state regulation, with sex-works monitored closely.
Post-war France: After the war, France rolled back on conservative sexual culture and underwent a sexual revolution. Views on sexual relationships and sex changed gradually. Traditional values were still in place immediately after the way. Any woman caught or accused of having a sexual relationship with a German soldier was publicly shamed and ostracized, stripped with their heads shaven. As the economy stared to recover, more liberal attitudes began to take root. Women began to take steps toward more autonomy. Premarital sex started to become more socially acceptable. Sex began to become a topic of discussion in public, and the media began to explore more topics around sex and sexuality. Contraception became more accessible though still criminalized. The pill became available in the 1960s and contraception was 1967. Abortion was legalized in 1975 under Veil Law. LGBTQ+ relationships were still stigmatized but the community flourished in urban areas. The media began to explore themes of sex and sexuality. Discussions around concepts like adultery were becoming more acceptable to discuss in public.
TaishĹ Period (1912â1926): The TaishĹ era was the beginning of a modern sex culture in Japan. Women began to gain more sexual autonomy and freedoms, although concepts and opinions on modesty and chastity were still very important. Premarital sex for women was still taboo but in urban areas, more forward-thinking attitudes began to challenge the idea. The image of the moga (or the modern girl) was a new ideal for the Japanese girl, who was influenced by Western ideals and ideas around sex and gender identity. Western fashion was beginning to enter certain circles, along with Western ideas about modesty. Marriage was still important but there were a lot more discussions around sexuality and love than before. Adultery was still taboo, with women facing more consequences than men. Same-sex relationships were conducted in private because of societyâs conservative views around it, however this was the period where the term dĹseiai (same-sex love) originated. Prostitution was still a widespread business and still regulated. Art, literature and cinema did not explore themes around sex and intimacy due to heavy censorship. Contraception was limited but methods like withdrawal and home brewed remedies were used. Condoms did exist but they weren't as accessible or popular. Abortion was illegal and punished, this led to high rates of infanticide and death of women from botched abortions.
ShĹwa Period (1926â1989): The ShĹwa era was a definite shift from the previous years. This era began with a diversion away from the sexual liberalism explored in the TaishĹ era, focusing on more conservative sexual morality. But post-WWII, sexual attitudes began to veer more toward a modernisation of sex culture. Pre-war Japan put more stock in chastity and modesty whole post-War Japan began to take a more liberal approach, due to an increased presence of Western culture. In pre-war Japan, modesty was underscored as a virtue especially for women. Marriage was seen as the end goal of any courtship and courtship was regulated. Premarital sex was taboo, but it was common and practised discreetly, with more taboo imposed on women rather than the men. Adultery was taboo, especially for women. Same-sex relationships existed mainly out of sight due to societyâs conservatism. Sex culture was censored in the media, and prostitution was still operational under regulation. focusing primarily on political dissent. Post-WII Japan embraced a more liberal attitude. Media was less censored around sex and erotica, leading the rise of pink films. Courtship gave away to dating culture, premarital sex became more common among the younger crowd. Romance began to become more normalized, moving away from marriages made for more traditional reasons. Adultery was still taboo. Women became to gain more sexual autonomy and freedom. LGBTQ communities began to gain more freedom and social acceptance; communities began to thrive in urban areas. Abortions were legalised in 1948, with the state allowing them for reasons of economic reasons. Contraception was not widely available before WWII but due to more Western influence, condoms and diaphragms became more accessible, with the pill legalized in 1999.
Post-WWII America: The sex culture in post-war America was conservative with a very strong opinion around marriage and tradition. The 1950s was an era of more conservatism with the 1960s exploring more liberalism around sex. The 1950 emphasised the sanctity of marriage and the importance of the strict gender roles, especially around sex. Adultery was taboo but men escaped harsh consequences and social ostracization as long as affairs were conducted in secret and with discrepancy. As the decades went on, women began to gain more sexual autonomy and freedoms. Homosexuality was illegal and very stigmatised. However, in 1969 the Stonewall Riots sparked off the fight for more equal LGBTQIA+ rights - lead by Our Lady Marsha P. Johnson. Divorce rates grew as divorce became more acceptable. Dating culture began to become popular. In its beginning, men were expected to initiate any relationship, and women were expected to be modest at all times. Dates involved going for walks or going to the cinema or going to dances. Interracial marriage was illegal up until around 1967, with the Loving v. Virginia Supreme Court case helping to invalidate and dissolve the anti- miscegenation laws. However, social acceptance around interracial marriages and relationships were still stigmatised, mostly in the South. Interracial couples faced social ostracization and discrimination in some areas, lessening over the following decades. Contraception was available, especially condoms because they were seen as more of a prevention against STIs instead of preventing pregnancy. Diaphragms were accessible but on prescription. The pill was available from 1960 but only for married women at first but this loosened years later. IUDs grew in popularity in the 60s. Sterilization was available but still very controversial but was often imposed on minorities like the Native Americans by the state. Abortion was illegal in most states, barring some few exceptions for medical reasons which pushed many women into accessing unsafe abortions. After Roe v Wade, abortion was legalized nationwide.
Post-WWII England: Post-war England saw a loosening of social regulations around sex culture. The 1960s saw to the sexual revolution, where premarital sex began to become more socially acceptable. Adultery was still stigmatized, especially for women with men escaping social criticism as long as they were discreet. It became a topic of discussion in public spaces and media. Same-sex relationships were illegal until the Sexual Offences Act of 1967, which partially decriminalized LGBTQ relationships. Fights for LGBTQ rights would continue through the decades, culminating in the fall of Section 28 in 2003 (Ding Dong Thatcherâs dead). Attitudes toward relationships began to change, becoming more accepting toward dating culture and divorce. Women started to gain more autonomy, with feminist groups opening the dialogue of challenging feminine roles and advocating for legal abortion and contraception. The media began to feature more discussion around sex and intimacy. Sexuality became a theme explored in many popular tv shows and films. Contraception was at first only accessible to married women (men could pick up condoms at most barber shops without anybody looking for a wedding ring) but by the late 60s, single women were allowed to access it though some circles still viewed it as taboo.
Sources for more Extensive and Further Reading
Ancient History (Pre-500 CE)
Ars Amatoria by Ovid â Primary (Roman Empire)
Codex Mendoza â Primary (Aztec Empire)
De Amore by Andreas Capellanus â Primary (Medieval Europe)
What does an average noble make in income in the middle ages? In ASOIAF, the Great Houses have to be very wealthy, but what does the little(r) guy make, with these expensive sounding feasts and how much a suit of armor must cost?
Thatâs a good, but tricky question. Ken Mondschein notes that a noblemanâs income could range from 200 pounds a year to 10,000 pounds a year, so thereâs a wide range. The King of Westeros does not live a normal life as your average landed knight experiences it.
In terms of costs - we know from Hedge Knight that a minimum set of armor for a knight is around 4 dragons (basic chainmail, helm, shield), although that was a hundred years ago, so itâs probably up to around 6 dragons now. A knightâs horse costs around a gold - and generally speaking knights had three horses (one to ride, one to fight, and one spare). Throw in some money for a sword and other knightly accouterments, and youâre probably talking a minimum of 15 dragons to equip oneself as a knight - thatâs about three times a good annual income for an ordinary person, according to Dunk. Then on top of that, you need to pay for food, shelter, clothing, feed and stabling for your horse, repairs, and the same for a squire. So letâs say, all in, 20-25 dragons as a knightâs minimum, which in turn gives you a sense of the expense of keeping a household knight (although having a holdfast means that you save on a lot of those expenses by producing the goods yourself).
So thatâs a knight at the lowest. A step up from that, and you might have someone like Ser Uthor the Tourney Knight, who seems to be making a good living on around 100 dragons a year. The next step up from that would be a minor lord, someone like Selwyn Tarth. The 300 dragons Selwyn ponied up for a ransom was probably all the coin he had - which is a good enough estimate for the yearly cash income of a minor lord, although obviously his net worth is much higher due to ownership of castle and lands, and he doesnât have to pay for food, shelter, etc.Â
Now compare that to the truly elite - Cersei offers 100 dragons for Nymeriaâs pelt, Littlefinger and Renly bet 100 dragons casually. Robert throws tourneys that cost 90,000 dragons in prizes alone.Â
Somewhere in the middle? Kevan Lannister, who feeds two hundred knights, and could feed two hundred more - in other words, an income of anywhere between 5,000 and 10,000 dragons a year.Â
So there you have it:
- Knight: 20-25 dragons a year minimum.
- Minor Lord: 300 dragons a year in cash.
- Middling Lord: 5,000-10,000 dragons a year in cash.
- Major Lord: tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands in cash.
- King: MILLIONS!
So even within the nobility, there are huge disparities of income.
Thereâs a sense that his brother and Rhaenyra particularly, are the two people he would go to war for. Itâs like heâs got this very weird sense of loyalty.
Huh so people are using Hill's Alive videos in arguments now? Why, her videos are out of context and biased as hell. Even her ASOIAF ones.
Because she affirms their hatred of Dany and the Targs, or just their affirmative biases and bigotry. and she is hot right now with many followers, so she has to be correct, right? That's basically it.
A more credible YouTuber who I personally follow is Phoenix Ashes, or you may know them by their current Tumblr name "ozymalek".
Here is one of their videos:
This is from their pinned comment:
Every single comment in this video thus far has proven that HA's army of trained, yapping chihuahuas could easily fall for every single propaganda imaginable as long as it was their favorite Internet personality saying it. They repeat claims that have been throughoutly shredded to pieces IN THE VIDEO PROPER and think that I call that liar a "liar" because I disagree with her "interpretation" of Daenerys. In reality, I call her a liar because I have substantially proven that she lied to her audience in her videos and built arguments around those lies.
Hill's Alive said at least two times that George RR Martin has DIRECTLY STATED that the show's ending matches the broad strokes of the ending that he will write, but there exists no video or an interview in which he makes such a statement, definitely not DIRECTLY. Hill's Alive did not include any link or a clip in her videos of him saying it, because that statement does not exist. The only thing that I was able to find (even though it should be HA's job because proving the claim lays on the one making it), GRRM revealed broad strokes to D&D, but has never confirmed that D&D followed them. I also included two sources of him claiming that the ending will not be the same: Not a Blog post from 2019 (right after the show ended) AND a statement from summer 2022 where he claimed that the ending will be QUITE DIFFERENT. And I even said that I don't hold HA accountable for not knowing the most recent statement because that particular video was from a year before it was made. Nevertheless, there is no direct confirmation from GRRM about broad strokes, and even if there was, GRRM's recent statements prove that even if that was the case, he changed his mind. I suspect that in 2019 GRRM was still binded by NDA's and now, that he has wrote so much of "Winds", the differences in endings has become even more apparent. I linked both of those and even read it out loud for those who may have trouble with reading comprehension.
Hill's Alive said that "Westeros has never been particularily peaceful, but it has never been as chaotic as it's been under the Targaryens". This is a lie because it contradicts canon: a) F&B directly says (contrary to some other "direct statement" that doesn't exist) that before the conquest, wars in Westeros have been such a common occurrence that if there weren't wars for a year, that was a success b) all of Jaehaerys' reign, which was exceedingly peaceful and prosperous, contradicts that + the Targaryens brought limited progress to Westeros, too, for example by outlawing the right of lords to rape newlywed women. By nature of feudalism, wars could not be eliminated, but there objectively was progress. [I am inserting this here link where ozymalek calculates peace years under the Targs here on Tumblr]
Hill's Alive has built an entire theory on how Daenerys will be killed by Arya based on Daenerys' talking about Maegor right before she walks into the funeral pyre. Except, Daenerys does not bring Maegor THEN. She does it much earlier, after Eroeh is killed. And while I can, to some degree, accept someone mixing two scenes, especially if they read the books a while ago, I am not willing to do this when a) the person in question talks to a substantial audience and misleads it in the process b) this is so easy to check. All you have to do is google "A Game of Thrones" pdf, click Control+G and search "Maegor". This is what I did.
I just need people to understand that usurping and rebelling against Rhaenyra is all about sexism and greed and nothing else.Â
No, not the âsanctity of Andal customsâ. No one gave a shit when Andal customs were ignored when the offended party were women. When Jaehaerys usurped Aerea, when he passed over Rhaenys, when the majority Andal Great Council passed over Rhaenys and her line again, they all violated the Andal âlawâ and no one gave a shit.Â
They only rebelled when the Andal custom got passed over in a way that screwed over a man instead of a woman. They only rose up citing âle Andal customsâ when it was a man who lost his âbirthrightâ, no one made a peep when women were robbed of their birthrights again and again.Â
Long before Jaehaerys, that throne was Aereaâs right. Yet even as they called Maegor a usurper and rebelled against him for his cruelty, they had no problem usurping Aerea and gifting the seat to Jaehaerys.
The Iron Throne was Rhaenysâ right long before it became anything that Aegon II could ever lay claim to. The king passed over her, picking another heir, and they all obeyed. When the lords of the realm, majority of whom are Andals and profess to follow those customs, were asked to choose the next heir, they all passed over Rhaenys and her line again, despite the fact that by their own traditions it should have been hers.Â
Viserys did nothing new and nothing different than Jaehaerys. He just did it in a way that favored his daughter instead of his son. And thatâs when we got the war and rebellion.Â
And this time, in violation of an actual law too. Because succession customs are not laws, they are âtraditionsâ and get bent and ignored all the time, even by the people who belong to the culture and claim to care about them. The Widowâs Law, is an actual, literal law and it says children of the first wife cannot be disinherited in favor the children from a later wife. And despite that law, which literally did apply to Rhaenyra to a T, they rebelled. Why? Because she is a woman. Thatâs fucking why.Â
No law, no custom and no right was ever the issue. Pure greed and the sexist belief that they can just rob a woman and get away with it. Nothing more, nothing less.
And everything else in the story is to color your perception, to bend the reality, to pull a wool over your eyes to distract from this simply, basic, core fact. It is there to deceive you into thinking that if a person has some questionable sides and that surely that must be disqualifying (not how hereditary seats work). To make you think that maybe Rhaenyra somehow deserved it, like Aerys II (she didnât). To chip at her character and woes so that you feel more comfortable with her pain and the wrongs done against her. To dupe you with an imperfect victim, so that you think that âshe had it coming.â
I need you to understand this, because âle Andal lawâ excuse is a farce. GRRM did not write this story thinking âAegon II and the greens are rightâ. He literally gave you 3 back to back examples of Andal âlawâ getting ripped to shreds and everyone being fine with it and then hit you with the 4th one, when it favored a woman and thatâs when the war happened.Â
Whatever you think you feel about these characters, moral of the story is absolutely not âsexism is good actually.â
I have a suggestion to the anti Targaryen people in fandom who bemoan (Wrongly BTW) that the Targaryenâs are evil colonizers. If you are so goddamn pressed about colonization, maybe you should help out your fellow indigenous people. Maybe if you are so goddamn pressed about a fictional feudalistic family who you wrongly perceived colonized Westeros, you can give back your land to your local indigenous people. If you are a white person whose ancestors benefited from colonization, you need to shut your mouth about what YOU think is colonization, because guess what? What the Targaryenâs did was conquest. However what the First Men and the Andals did was actual colonization. So either look at the proper definitions of things so you can speak accurately about them, or you need to shut your mouth about things that you donât understand. You misrepresenting colonialism is you cheapening the word, and cheapening the generational trauma and the near eradication of religion and culture from real indigenous groups who faced countless horrors and forced assimilation and are still suffering from it. So educate yourselves. However, I suspect that the vast majority of you are clinging to the word âcolonizationâ as a reactionary excuse to justify your dislike of Dany and by extension House Targaryen. Because if you all actually cared about colonization and imperialism and genocide you wouldnât be misusing this word, and youâd actually be trying to help your fellow indigenous people one way or another, which you all arenât. So as a fellow indigenous person who actually understands colonialism, Iâm kindly asking you to back off and stop trying to justify your hatred or dislike of something by misappropriating this word.
8) A part from Tyron, is there any female character you love more than the others?
Oh, probably Arya... but as with the men, I love them all.
[Source]
I know that Tyrion is your favourite character, who is your second favourite character?
Maybe Arya or Dany.
[Source]
FAVORITE CHARACTER TO WRITE
Tyrion. Arya is fun to write as well.
[Source]
EH_Dave: Do you empathize with them all equally during writing them?
George_RR_Martin: While writing them? Sure. Then I switch POVs and switch sides. I do have my favorite characters, of course. Tyrion, Arya, Jon . . . but I love them all. Even the ones I kill.
[Source]
He said that LOVES to write about Arya's adventures in Braavos. He said he could write whole novels about. That received a huge applause until he joked that maybe he could put off Winds to do so.
[Source]
Jon Snow has me in him, and Sam Tarly. The women too, Lyanna and Shaara, and the girls, Arya and Adara . . . Daenerys Stormborn, searching for that house with the red door. And Tyrion Lannister? Oh, yes. The Imp is me in spades, the horny little bastard.
[Source]
BHW: How did you determine which characters would go into Feast for Crows and which would go into Dance with Dragons?
[...] It broke down pretty well according to geography. I could have omitted Arya. I hesitated over her because she is on the other continent, but she had only three chapters. I was moving Jon Snow, Tyrion and Dany-three of my four most popular characters-into the other book. If I moved Arya too, it might not be a good idea. She'll actually appear in both books.
[Source]
Unrelated, but still interesting:
I know the ultimate destination, I know the principal landmarks and things that happen along the way, like [big event redacted] which had been planned from the beginning and all of that. But some of them I discover in the writing. Essentially I know the big stuff, but a lot of little stuff occurs in the course of the writing. And of course some of the little stuff is very, very important. The devil is in the details. The devil is what makes the journey more than just an outline or a Cliffâs Notes kind of experience. So I may know the ultimate fates of Jon Snow and Daenerys and Arya and some of the other principal characters. But I donât necessarily know the ultimate fates of Dolorous Edd or Hot Pie, you know. Well, I have a few ideas about those, but still.
They deleted the scenes with Jace saying âWe canât trust the usurper,â and Baelaâs âThe greens must be answered with fire and blood,â so that Daemon could look like he is the only one wanting to wage war.
The producers really donât like the blacks, especially Daemon, do they?
Viserys' fear... and his relationship with and attitude to DAEMON and RHAENYRA...
From the beginning of the show it was clear Viserys disliked ruling. He disliked power and making decisions that came with it. He was indecisive and easily persuaded by those he regarded powerful, dangerous or smart. He was constantly being fed bullshit by Otto and the council, and refused to see it or even entertain the thought. Being weak, he often relied on their opinions and solutions. He always seemed unsure and incredibly unwilling to make any serious decisions, he just wanted to stay away from everything and just play his lego :D and let things work themselves out...
.... and that was why UNFORTUNATELY he often neglected and ignored and didn't consider neither Daemon, nor Rhaenyra, their opinions, feelings or needs. He only dared to make Rhaenyra the heir cuz the council (Otto) pushed it (having his own secret agenda ofc but nvm) and convinced him it was for the best and Viserys just accepted it and went with it. Even this was not Viserys' idea, (even though he really embraced it later). He was generally always inclined to believe the men in power, in authority, those he believed held power over him. He stated it himself in one of his arguments with Rhaenyra that he believed it was unavoidable - which both Rhaenyra and Daemon always firmly disagreed with. Viserys generally preferred staying away from arguments or conflicts and rather subdued to the others' will for what he thought was peace or the lesser evil. He cared for the reputation and feared attacks/rebellions/conflicts, he feared Westerosi people's ire that could bring their family down... and he was NOT ready to fight.
He exiled Daemon not only cuz he got angry with him over the comment he'd allegedly said about Viserys' son - the thing is, council had already been demonizing Daemon in Viserys' eyes for quite some time at that point and Viserys was unable to stand firmly and defend his kin any longer, despite having tried to defend Daemon times before - he always let himself be swayed in the end. And this was the weakness Daemon hated in him, Daemon wanted to stand by him, PROTECT him from the leeches, keep their family powerful and great /which he also mentioned over and over/. But Viserys was scared of that, he didn't want Westeros go against their family and believed Daemon's presence or actions would eventually lead to that. He was scared of Daemon's fire. And a part of him maybe even believed that Daemon COULD eventually harm him in pursuit of power (which was the story Otto had been feeding him for years. While Daemon only ever hoped for Viserys' approval and acceptance, love...)
So imagine Viserys' shock and surprise when his sweet good baby girl Rhaenyra started expressing her FIRE more as she grew and started reminding Viserys of none other than Daemon, the brother whose fire Viserys had always been wary of. We see LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of parallels between Daemon and Rhaenyra and their relationship with Viserys - Daemon being pushed away by Viserys, choosing council over him, Rhaenyra being sent away (after Otto's suggestion)- Viserys choosing council over her. Viserys pushing his views on Daemon as he did on Rhaenyra. Viserys believing he was doing so much for Daemon's good, he thought he was doing even much more for Rhaenyra's good. But ultimately he NEVER listened to either of them, never cared to understand what they actually wanted or needed. And both Rhaneyra and Daemon were frustrated with him for that. They both felt like they were NOT ENOUGH for Viserys. They both felt they were constantly being replaced or sent away, disregarded and disrespected... That only ignited both of them more and actually connected them ultimately when Daemon returned from the Stepstones. They were the MISFITS. They were the rebels. They were Viserys' "PLAGUE" and "HEADACHE". They were forced into marriages they did not want. They felt trapped in what Viserys had prepared for them. And that ultimately united them - the fire, the rage, the frustration, the yearning for freedom and justice, their passion, their desire to run away, to tear off their chains...
In relationship with Viserys, Rhaenyra was always more persistent and so she got what she wanted from Viserys more often than Daemon, - Daemon's coping mechanism was spite, self-pity, running away, and childish, annoying attempts to get Viserys's attention, whereas Rahenyra's were more direct, direct protest, shouting, demanding, anger and fire. She could afford it though. She was Viserys' beloved daughter and his heir. And since Viserys hated conflict so much, he preferred giving her what she wanted as he did with the council, and when he could not, he pretended he was blind and deaf, closing himself off away from her...
Viserys had always known Daemon and Rhaenyra shared the blood of the dragon and were peas in a pod. And while there was nothing he could do about Daemon, he kept refusing to see Rhaenyra that way, he wanted to see her more like Aemma, calmer, good, and kind and fair queen. And yet inside he ALWAYS KNEW. It was also interesting how it was not hard for him to believe Daemon and Rhaenyra had got involved romantically/sexually. For a second he doubted that, he was set on continuing to live in his Rhaenyra good girlie - Daemon bad bad rebel brother kinda reality BUT the very next scene we see is him explaning to Alicent that it was NOT Daemon corrupting Rhaenyra, and rather that it was just the two of them being dragons. Viserys KNEW something had gone down with those two at that point.
Anyway, as always, Viserys decided to just switch to his "I don't see it" mode and pretended Rhaenyra was the same sweet little girl he wanted her to be and Daemon did not exist - 'cause Viserys was set on seeing him as the corrupting element, it was easy to blame him, everyone else was always blaming Daemon anyway, so. And yet, Viserys made it clear in convo with Alicent he knew it was as much Rhaenyra as it was Daemon this time around. But Viserys liked his alternate reality where all was well.. peaceful and stable and proper.
Funny how reality kept kicking Viserys though, first with Otto informing him about Daemon+Rhaenyra having been seen in the brothel "coupling", then he got another kick of reality with Daemon pleading him for Rhaenyra's hand, telling him directly that he wanted HER, if he could have anything then he wanted Rhaenyra. (in Viserys's eyes though, Daemon was painted as a plague, as a corruption, as a deceitful menace...and Viserys chose not to believe Daemon's sincere intentions, rather believing the picture Otto had painted for him)
...so when Viserys refused him mindlessly giving "you're already wed" as a reason for refusal. But then he learnt about Daemon off-ing his wife just to get a chance to marry Rhaenyra,
coming to her wedding uninvited then in hope to win her somehow... And then... during the wedding when Viserys saw them together on that dancefloor.
^ This was his 'OH NO' moment. At that point I think Viserys could no longer pretend, he could no longer live in his illusion 'cause the reality had just kicked him hard, the reality was RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS EYES >>>
...and as much as Viserys hated it, he ultimately came to accept that Rhaenyra was Daemon and Daemon was Rhaneyra. In character. In deeds. In opinions. In wants and desires.
Everything fell into place and Viserys knew there was no denying it and it had also gone WAY TOO FAR with those TWO. And they were burning for each other. Viserys' worst nightmare turned into reality right in front of his salad!
The brother, whose fire Viserys had always been wary of, was the mirror reflection of his daughter, whose fire was burning just as bright next to Daemon. And Viserys knew he had to stop it somehow. Ensure peaceful, safe reign for Rhaenyra if he could wed her to someone calm and stable and keep Daemon far away. I think he was worried the fire of the two of them united would burn their House down, i think he feared the two of them united would be a Targaryen HELL unleashed on Westeros. Viserys wanted to subdue Rhaenyra's fire just as he had always subdued his own. He had given up on Daemon, but not on Rhaenyra (Viserys could not control Daemon, he was his brother, but he could control his daughter from the position of authority as a parent + she was his heir). And so Viserys went on with his plan and forced the wedding to Laenor right there and then, he would not wait for 7 more days, he thought he did not have 7 days. If THAT^^ happened on the 1st day of the festivities, what else would follow....?
BUT ...by doing that Viserys destroyed more than he could imagine... along with Rhaenyra's fire, he subdued Daemon's fire as well.... for 10 YEARS !!! Viserys' action with good intentions ultimately BROKE both Rhaenyra AND Daemon. And Viserys was getting worse as well. It eventually led to Rhaenyra running away from the misery of King's Landing, to Dragonstone... as Daemon had done once before. Dragonstone was their safe haven. She exiled herself willingly. He lost his brother AND his daughter and was left at the mercy of the leeches Daemon had once pleaded to let him protect Viserys from, the ones Rhaenyra was fighting off over the course of those 10 years but without her fire she had no chance. Her rebellious fiery nature could not be completely subdued though, and that ended up in her giving birth to illegitimate children which further destroyed her reputation and claim, she was at her weakest, she was seen cry several times during the ep, abandoned-stripped off all her defenses and helpless, while Daemon was drinking himself into oblivion, dreaming of old Valyria, of some sort of HOME he'd never had and always searched for.
...When Viserys then saw them together first time after 10 YEARS, when he saw Daemon just staring at Rhaenyra like no one else existed, it seemed like something had finally CLICKED in Viserys...
^ perhaps that was the first time he allowed himself to think there might have actually been something much DEEPER between Daemon and Rhaenyra that went beyond fire, chaos and passion of their younger years...
We then see Viserys desperately wanting to talk to Daemon, but he also doesn't know how... many years have passed... he looks at a lot of things differently now... he misses Daemon, he feels guilty about everything he's done to him. He'd also like to have him near him. Viserys is lonely... he's lost Daemon, he's lost Rhaenyra ... he wishes to just fix everything...but it's too late...
And Daemon's staring at him daringly. He's still sour over everything Viserys has done to him, to him and Rhaenyra, ...sour over how everything could have been different but was not, sour over how Viserys had never trusted him or accepted him... Daemon is sour. He has resigned and is no longer trying to win Viserys' acceptance, respect or approval BUT Daemon still loves his brother despite everything and still low key wishes for his brother's love...
but when Viserys finally finds the courage to talk to him and makes an attempt at mending the rship with Daemon awkwardly, just calling him to come back home, Daemon is instantly super BITTER, as if all memories have just hit him, and he is being a big proud stubborn child, as if Viserys calling him home, telling him he wants him by his side, wasn't what Daemon has been dreaming of his whole life.
BUT it's a different moment that makes him snap. The moment Viserys tells him to come home because there 'must be something Daemon should need' Daemon instantly snaps telling him "I NEED "R"......"NOTHING!" (srsly seems like he was about to say some "r" word ...i have no idea what, but i'm gonna assume Rhaenyra.)-> due to the fact that Daemon had told Viserys all those years ago "you said I could have anything, I WANT RHAENYRA" - he'd made it clear to Viserys exactly WHAT he needed more than anything else, and yet Viserys chose not to believe him, not to trust him, love him, and never considered giving him Rhaenyra. Not like it mattered now. Now nothing mattered. Daemon needed NOTHING anymore. All was said and done. Lost. Daemon had spent 10 years drinking and sitting on a roof looking at the night sky because of Viserys (i think Daemon blames Viserys at least partly, if not entirely, for his misery) Daemon seems completely defeated, bitter and hopeless...
^ like back when he understood Viserys was willing to believe the WORST when it came to Daemon's true intentions... when Daemon told him sincerely he wanted Rhaenyra more than anything and together with her wanted to make House of the Dragon great again. He wanted that for THEIR family, for Viserys too. But Viserys saw him as a threat, a plague...
AND THEN when after EVERYTHING Daemon and Rhaenyra managed to get married they arrive to King's landing as a MARRIED COUPLE, Rhaenyra says 'I'm here with Daemon' ...
and Viserys seems to be so happy, he's weak, he's almost dying, but he still calls for Daemon, calls his name, brother... it is a super touching scene. It is clear he loves Daemon and regrets everything, and now Viserys seems to be genuinely happy his daughter Rhaenyra has his brother Daemon by her side. And that might be the greatest approval Daemon has ever got from Viserys. The first time Viserys was clearly looking at him with love, respect, and gratefulness, he took him seriously, he treated him with utmost appreciation...
Daemon never stopped loving Viserys and now he seemed to be even more set on protecting him, like some old spark was back, Daemon had finally felt Viserys' love, acceptance and approval, he saw Viserys loved their babies and obviously blessed their marriage - and Daemon is back to fiercely protecting, defending and living and dying for his brother Viserys with renewed vigor, now as a father himself, and as husband to Viserys' beloved daughter as he'd always wanted...
Daemon has found his home with Rhaenyra - the home, the acceptance, the love, the approval he had always searched for, Rhaenyra gave him all that and more. So now he didn't need it from Viserys anymore...
And yet, now he had Viserys' acceptance as well. Viserys understood, too late, but he did. Everything he hated in Daemon earlier he now seemed to be grateful for, because now as he was weak and defenseless with little time left, there was Daemon with his strength, courage, fire and indomitability, and he was going to stand by Viserys' daughter, his niece and wife, and Viserys KNEW Daemon would NOT let anything happen to Rhaenyra, that he was going to stand by her side till the end. He was looking at them and he was so contented because he saw they were happy, fulfilled and so strong together. What Viserys had wanted to avoid so much ultimately became his relief, his blessing, his gratefulness...
And much to Viserys' and probably many others' surprise, the union of Daemon and Rhaenyra did not cause any explosion of their fires, no horrors. It did not unleash hell on Westeros, as many feared, in fact, joining of their fire and blood only made both of them CALM DOWN and SETTLE like never before... Daemon did not even go to fight war on Stepstones later despite Corlys going. Daemon stayed with his family, with his wife, on Dragonstone, making babies and fetching dragon eggs for the newborns... War? what war? what blood, what politics? Restless and chaotic? Nope. They had each other, babies, legacy, and they had their HOME. They were living the time of their lives...
.....it took something threatening their unity and their family, actually, to ignite their DRAGONFIRE that would be unleashed on Westeros...but that's a different story...
Daenerys was around the same age as Rhaenyra in the first five episodes of hotd when she conquered Essos, birthed dragons and freed slaves. She was a ruling queen, the last targaryen, the only thing truly holding the world she was trying to build together â all at age sixteen. Rhaenyra says to Luke âI wasnât ready to be heirâ, she tells Viserys âI thought I wanted it. But the weight is heavy. Itâs too heavyâ. Rhaenyra is a strong woman, she would be fit to rule, what Iâm getting at is that I think itâs really under-appreciated that Daenerys was doing all that, young as she was. Itâs not a special Targaryen characteristic, being queen at seventeen. Most Targaryens were crowned at an older age, at least eighteen. But Daenerys has no choice. She is the heir of House Targaryen itself, she is the only dragonrider in the world, she is city sacker, the breaker of chains, she was wed to a khal, the point is â there is a reason why Tyrion calls her âAegon The Conqueror with teatsâ. She is great, great and glorious at an age during which many other Targaryens were, well, teenagers. They fucked up, they were given power, and quite often they brought ruin with it. Not Daenerys. The weight is hard, and there is no one to defend her, but if she looks back, she is lost.
It is exactly what I wanted to say.
Daenerys had a hard childhood, she grew up in poverty, was sold and had to mature mucxh faster compared to Rhaenyra and other Targaryen princes in the past.
And she survived and thrived.
At the age when Rhaenyra watched tourneys and just became an heir, Daenerys had lost her baby and husband and led her khalasaar through the desert.
Daenerys was around the same age as Rhaenyra in the first five episodes of hotd when she conquered Essos, birthed dragons and freed slaves. She was a ruling queen, the last targaryen, the only thing truly holding the world she was trying to build together â all at age sixteen. Rhaenyra says to Luke âI wasnât ready to be heirâ, she tells Viserys âI thought I wanted it. But the weight is heavy. Itâs too heavyâ. Rhaenyra is a strong woman, she would be fit to rule, what Iâm getting at is that I think itâs really under-appreciated that Daenerys was doing all that, young as she was. Itâs not a special Targaryen characteristic, being queen at seventeen. Most Targaryens were crowned at an older age, at least eighteen. But Daenerys has no choice. She is the heir of House Targaryen itself, she is the only dragonrider in the world, she is city sacker, the breaker of chains, she was wed to a khal, the point is â there is a reason why Tyrion calls her âAegon The Conqueror with teatsâ. She is great, great and glorious at an age during which many other Targaryens were, well, teenagers. They fucked up, they were given power, and quite often they brought ruin with it. Not Daenerys. The weight is hard, and there is no one to defend her, but if she looks back, she is lost.
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