almonds all the time

Kaiya | they/he/she | ♋ | 28 | PNW | INFP 

[schmergo]

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

[caesarsaladinn]

Lincoln Lincoln

[avantgarden-er]

not to be rude but if you’re losing consciousness you should dial for an ambulance not just use the computer.

I would liveblog Anything

[arctasy]

when the character is obsessive and desperate and guilty and scared and ashamed and traumatized and repressed

[swagophile]

you fuckers arent even ready for when i become badass evil black and purple fire dragon

[sunshinetomorrow]

hey there, you've arrived at a Tumblr checkpoint!

are you thirty? have a sip!

are you hungry? have a spack!

have you been snitting in the sale proclation? mack your tabbers!.

are you stick? purt your indies!

do you need to prot a buntle? go! now!

are you tired? break your togs!

do a quick snat of your vitals. are you fond? do you need to reduct your plandles? if you have a trick, tog it. if you need to sitch, go so.

are you grod or too trinking? if you need to break off a grint or mend the bontle, go to that now!

I hope this helps! and I hope your tunderfal day :-)

[selfcarereminder]

the version of you from five years ago would be genuinely amazed by what you’ve handled since then. sit with that for a second

[moffpup]

we're saying hi if you want in on this

[kosmogrl]

they weren’t kidding when they said the only way out is through

[darkcomedies]

evoking bertholt brecht’s “the way people cast a play!” quote as a spell against prescriptive, stereotypical, fatalistic typecasting

[darkcomedies]

idk what to tell you except go look at the fishwives

[valtsv]

"here's my original character, Man Who Sucks But Loves His Daughter Very Much" and it's a guy who worships at the altar of patriarchal violence and the woman he uses as an excuse and an effigy to absolve him

[valtsv]

well i think his daughter should tell him to kill himself

[ceruleanheaven]

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

[ceruleanheaven]

"when you say Religion That Oppresses Women you better not mean My Religion That Oppresses Women"

[hail-the-villainess]

Girls can have a berserk mode as a treat. fangs and glowing eyes and animalistic snarling are good enrichment for girls.

[sneakysnekoden]

achilles binding patroclus’ wounds

[nlog-sama]

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

[gondwana]

Sunday

[waffliesinyoface]

youtube, as it tries, in vain, to defeat the power of adblock:

[freakoutgirl]

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

[freakoutgirl]

and love..........