Kaleidiope

An amateur polyhobbyist and vocal synth enthusiast who wishes you the best! (any pronouns - am an adult)

[only-knives]

As an adult still living with their abusive parent, I often find that affirmations meant to empower me are unhelpful at best. They often feel like they're overstating the amount of agency I have as an adult; I've spent my entire life being abused. It's all I know and I have a lifetime of conditioning and nervous system damage to show for it.

All that doesn't just go away now that I'm older than 18, and neither do the material circumstances that keep me here. Even though I have more legal rights and have grown since I was younger, I am still not in control by the very nature of being the victim in an abusive relationship. So, for those who relate, here are some affirmations that might hit different:

My abuser does not have my best interests in mind, even if they think they do.

I am my own person; my mind and body belong to me.

My feelings are justified, and I deserve to feel and express them.

I am doing what I need to survive, and that is all I need to do.

I am doing my best given the knowledge, resources, and support I have.

I am the only person who can decide what is best for me.

My situation is unfair and wrong. I deserve to be happy and safe.

I do not have to engage in toxic positivity; that will only hurt me.

As long as I am alive, there is something good in this life for me - no matter how small.

I have inherent rights just because I exist.

I shouldn't have to deal with this on my own; I deserve support and protection.

Everything I need is something I deserve. Everything I deserve is something I need.

If any of these don't resonate, feel free to discard them. Everyone finds comfort and empowerment differently.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

things to not feel guilty about:

putting yourself first

setting boundaries and saying “no”

resting and taking downtime

nourishing your body

“giving up” on things not meant for you

taking time to heal even if it’s longer than expected

failing (no matter how many times you do it)

feel free to add!

[homunculus-argument]

Hey btw, here's a piece of life advice:

If you know what you'd have to do to solve a problem, but you just don't want to do it, your main problem isn't the problem itself. Your problem is figuring out how to get yourself to do the solution.

If your problem is not eating enough vegetables, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make vegetables stop being yucky". If your problem is not getting enough exercise, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make exercise stop sucking ass". You're not supposed to just be doing things that are awful and suck all the time forever, you're supposed to figure out how to make it stop being so awful all the time.

I used to hate wearing sunscreen because it's sticky and slimy and disgusting and it feels bad and it smells bad, so I neglected to wear it even if I needed to. Then I found one that isn't like that, and doesn't smell and feel gross. Problem solved.

There is no correct way to live that's just supposed to suck and feel bad all the time. You're allowed to figure out how to make it not suck so bad.

[dailycatsblog]

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

one day, you will find yourself being loved by entirely new people and wonder why you were ever worried you’d never find them

[kaleidiope]

╯︿╰

There will be times in your life where you'll find yourself in the company of people who will make you out to be a villain because they don't want to be in your life anymore And while everyone has the potential to be hurtful and harmful - and while it's best to do our best to listen and consider critique - there will be people you can never please, because they don't want to be There will be friends, family members, and lovers, who will take issue with everything you do, and anything you are, so their choice can feel warranted. It is important to be aware of when words are directed at something worth addressing, or if words are mere attempts at justifying their own actions, and decisions There are people in this world who will tear you down, guilt you, gaslight you, shame, humiliate, scream, and abuse you, and do it so they have an excuse. They'll make you feel like the bad guy, they'll provoke you into a fight, they'll use every word against you and justify their behavior with leaps They are wanting to be a victim And it's important to let them be one, and move on. You are not responsible for emotions that they've hurt themselves. And while you are allowed to feel hurt, angry, sad and anything else you may feel, know that no amount of energy will create a new outcome If you sand yourself down for them, it'll only prolong their stay, build new venom, and cause more suffering for you If someone wants to leave, let them, if they feel like making you a reason, let them. It's not your job to play 'perfect'. It's your job to be you, who the right people will love, cherish, and always enjoy being around

Never change for someone looking for reason to hate. You cannot please them. Don't waste energy on battles that were crafted to be lost. It's allowed to hurt, cause it's deeply unfair to you, and more unfair to force yourself to hold onto what should fall apart Allow yourself to be free

[kaleidiope]

If I ever seem distant or rude to anyone new reaching out to me, please know it's because you said something that makes me feel like you want money from me :(( A two week - what I thought was a budding friendship - has just turned into them telling me they're an artist and wants to turn my story monsters into artpieces They're 100% wanting a commission, aren't they? They didn't care at all about my stories, did they? :( They don't have a single piece of artwork on their account They're 100% a scammer Every time. When someone asks me about anything, it turns into 'I do art' or 'I'm not doing well financially, but I draw!' and PLEASE PLEASE STOP I WANTED FRIEND :((

[kaleidiope]

Just make sure not to let these feelings ruin their joy in attemp to fill yourself - happiness isn't transferable like that

[casceth]

dont retreat emotionally. people like you and want you around. they like to talk to you, and you genuinely matter. you have to trust this through the hard times so you can get to the better times without sabotaging yourself. you are worth loving

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

*hugs you from afar* you are enough. you did good today.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

i’m proud of you for facing the days you really don’t want to face

[kaleidiope]

I promise, I do truly promise

[kaleidiope]

You are lovable, and very friend-shaped <3

[kaleidiope]

More Thought Combatters ™️via an old doodle I never did anything with (until now!)

[kaleidiope]

For all the bunnies tonight who are fighting to not let The Thoughts ™️ win (I am bunnies)

[kaleidiope]

Changed up how my mentions work cause I'm getting waay too many porn bots @ -ing me Hopefully it doesn't break anything and those I consider friends can still do it ^^

[kaleidiope]

（︶^︶）

If you find yourself in the presence of someone who lives within a fabricated fantasy, and refuses to hear, or understand you/your reality, then they don't belong in your world They don't deserve space within your life if they deny the facts within it - the facts you face If they chose their fantasy over your reality, being part of your life is a privilege they failed to prove they deserved. Your struggles aren't theirs to deny. And your words aren't theirs to call lies. If it comes down to it, if their presence becomes a hindrance upon your existence, try not to feel too bad for cutting them out of it. You don't owe anyone space in your universe, fill it with those deserving, respectful, and caring of you, your time, and your reality You don't deserve to defend your choices, decisions, or actions if they don't cause harm. No one should make you feel like you have to defend yourself over what doesn't regard, or involve them They're not worth explaining to; they'll always find another issue, another problem, cause they'll always be convinced that what they're projecting onto you, is your truth. And not their own fabrication Even when meaning well. Good intentions can still be damaging. And you're allowed to feel upset, frustrated, annoyed, and any other emotion you may experience, regardless of their intent If their actions or words hurt, they hurt. You've had to justify yourself enough, so don't do it for them