no excuse to be so callous

30, she/they

[kansalainen]

i know theyll shoot me first on the gates of heaven for watching love is blind but they’ll shoot this guy devante right after for bagging the hottest bitch of the season and acting like she’s cattle fence. he thinks he’s gonna get zapped if he so much as grazes her skin there is no other fucking explanation for not motorboating on sight respectfully. this woman is in a bikini looking unbelievable literally talking about her double Ds while they are out and my man is leaving room for three jesuses. flying to mexico and showing her the good time this idiot clearly can’t

[kansalainen]

ok looks like this became a plot point. anyway the same is true of emma and whatshisname can than man please touch her

[kansalainen]

she looks like this btw with an ass to match and worlds most beautiful smile. what the fuck

[kansalainen]

i know theyll shoot me first on the gates of heaven for watching love is blind but they’ll shoot this guy devante right after for bagging the hottest bitch of the season and acting like she’s cattle fence. he thinks he’s gonna get zapped if he so much as grazes her skin there is no other fucking explanation for not motorboating on sight respectfully. this woman is in a bikini looking unbelievable literally talking about her double Ds while they are out and my man is leaving room for three jesuses. flying to mexico and showing her the good time this idiot clearly can’t

[kansalainen]

ok looks like this became a plot point. anyway the same is true of emma and whatshisname can than man please touch her

[kansalainen]

i know theyll shoot me first on the gates of heaven for watching love is blind but they’ll shoot this guy devante right after for bagging the hottest bitch of the season and acting like she’s cattle fence. he thinks he’s gonna get zapped if he so much as grazes her skin there is no other fucking explanation for not motorboating on sight respectfully. this woman is in a bikini looking unbelievable literally talking about her double Ds while they are out and my man is leaving room for three jesuses. flying to mexico and showing her the good time this idiot clearly can’t

[pkmn-ruby]

[chechedelic]

i barked i cant lie

[ladyofthebookcase]

aw mannnn

[theheartofdecember]

They call it aspirin because you’re aspirin’ not to have a headache anymore

[pharmersonly]

gay people in my phone let’s enjoy looking at laila’s back and shoulders together

[abernathyvalois]

I am creating a life i don’t want to run from i am creating a life i don’t want to run from i am creating a life i don’t want to run from

[candlesoul]

[shadowen]

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

[jess-abides]

This is it, this is the one

[brucespringsteencomments]

[officialpenisenvy]

think you the shiv bitch you not even the tom

[jerkstorecalling]

I found this on the public printer yesterday and now it's part of our decor and I'm kind of obsessed

[segamascott]

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[farmlesbians]