A Sleepy Dragon @karolyta - Tumblr Blog

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bardace

Shut Up, I Don’t Care

lawbreaker13

Oh I hate this so much, incredible job OP

thebibliosphere

I was at our local bakery recently and came across a loaf of bread quaintly branded as a “Peasant Loaf”. It was selling for over $6—the irony of this was not lost on me.

In retaliation I have decided to post what I actually think of as a peasant loaf, but with the luxury of finely ground modern flour which is less likely to break your teeth because actual peasant loaf bread is like chewing rocks unless you’re soaking it in soup or stew.

This is a very simple loaf, it requires no special tools and is a fairly forgiving dough for beginners to work with. Also it has the added bonus of looking like an expensive artisan loaf, but costs literal pennies to make once you invest in the basic ingredients.

So what do you need?

Ingredients:

Plain flour (or wholewheat if you prefer)

One sachet of active dry yeast.

Salt.

Water.

Tools:

Bowl

Mug

Prep and bake time total: 2 hours 45 minutes.

Yep, that’s it. You’ll notice that there’s no quantities listed up there, and that’s because you’ll be using the mug to measure everything. This helps to make sure your quantities are consistent, and means that so long as you have a mug and your ingredients, you can make bread. Heck you don’t even need a bowl, it just makes clean up easier.

Again I had Elusive Tumblr Dad help me take the photos so be warned this is going to be fairly image heavy under the cut :D

Step One: Gather your stuff.

[Patreon]

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transandrogyny--turtlebug

I'm gonna start saying "especially non binary ppl" when talking about trans issues. Trans people are really struggling, especially non binary ppl, because we're treated like jokes and freaks in our own communities. I'm kind of sick and tired of things being "especially" about everyone else but us

transandrogyny--turtlebug

Non binary people are treated like the scapegoats of the trans community, everything is our fault. We're too loud, to assertive, too annoying, too cringe. Too out there, we are visibly trans a lot of the time, and that pisses people the fuck off because we like it and it's a part of our gender identity and expression. We are just as oppressed and face just as much violence as everyone else

soulsartuniverse

#passing refers to making our transness invisible

I am NOT letting you leave this in the tags prev it is so true. Non binary people cant pass because there is no way to pass for us. Passing as ANY GENDER is getting misgendered because it means others assuming we're binary people, and we're not.

One of the first feelings of dysphoria I got was the feeling of "everyone else will perceive me as a binary gender first and there is nothing I can do about it" and I wanted to stop existing at all, to stop having a body and stop being perceived so no one would dictate my identity for me.

Non binary people arent taken seriously on our own oppression, in talking about trans issues we're an afterthought, because if they cant categorize us then they refuse to talk about us. Binary people, cis and trans, get annoyed when we add onto a conversation with our non binary perspective, when we ask to be included in their talks about trans liberation and fighting against gender essentialism. We complain too much and we're too weird and too cringe, we cant use terms like transfem and transmasc without everyone assuming we're basically binary trans people, and binary trans people are so busy pitting transfem and transmasc as opposites while also saying "oh but we include non binary people!" No you dont, your inclusion is only for monogender enben whose gender is static and aligned with the binary. Because talking about only the existance of transfem and transmasc as two opposite exclusive sides is exorsexist as hell.

And dont get me started on how we dont fucking have LANGUAGE, there are so many languages that have no pronouns or neutral words to refer to people, existing in your native country means being misgendered.

We're either misgendered and invisible or misgendered and hypervisible. And people love to either act like we dont exist, or like we're basically binary cis or trans so there's no need to put effort in accounting for us.

transandrogyny--turtlebug

It's literally horrific. If you're binary, at the very least there is language for you, and others to understand who you are.

genderkoolaid

I think "passing as making transness invisible" is a really good redefining of the term. That definition also allows us to talk about how even trans people who can easily be read as cis may not pass if they are openly trans or were well known (locally or more broadly) before transitioning.

And that understanding for me, stems from the reality that a major way many nonbinary people do not pass is pronouns. The minute you declare yourself nonbinary or adopt any pronoun other than he OR she, you have made yourself socially visible as trans. A 2024 study found that having they/them pronouns on a resume meant it was rejected more than not only the same resume without pronouns, but the same resume with binary pronouns. The author estimated that "74% of the discrimination faced by applicants who disclose “they/them” pronouns is rooted in their nonbinary gender identity rather than the political and other signals associated with the act of pronoun disclosure."

Without understanding this, a lot of nonbinary people are assumed to be functionally cis and move through the world as cis-passing people do, when that is often noy true—being misgendered is not the same thing as passing, but for nonbinary people, it is assumed explicitly or implicitly that if we are not gendered correctly, if we are not seen as our nonbinary genders, it must mean that we are treated as cis women and cis men and thus do not truly understand transphobia.

evil-enby-osoka

i hate that nonbinary people can't be, like, nonbinary.

whatever we do, we can't win. we can't be seen as actually nonbinary. people binarize us and often mock us or get aggressive or dismiss and ignore our nonbinaryhood or something else.

if we don't medically transition, we are "just cis trenders."

if we do medically transition, we are "just [binary trans] eggs."

we are "technically transmasc or transfem anyways" if we don't use these terms.

we are lumped together with binary trans men and trans women if we do use these terms. our nonbinaryhood is ignored or seen as some kind of "gender-lite."

we are aggressively pressured to disclose if we're AFAB or AMAB, TMA or TME, transmasc or transfem, "boy nonbinary" or "girl nonbinary." and if we refuse to answer, people get double mad at us and pick something for us anyways.

if we show the slightest hint of something that could be interpreted as binary gendered, we are immediately binarised.

if we put a lot of effort into looking the most ambiguous or androgynous or neutral, people still try to find something. and they become aggressive. people often EXPLODE [PT: explode] when they can't gender someone by glance.

our ways of expression are constantly mocked and ignored (like neopronouns, nonbinary-centering labels for gender and orientation, basically all things that are associated with nonbinary people).

but if we choose more typical ways of expression (for example, use "he/him" or "she/her" pronouns), people use it to ignore and dismiss our nonbinaryhood.

we just can't win, and it's upsetting.

proudfreakmetarusonikku

and if we give in to the pressure to say whether where the “boy nonbinary or girl nonbinary” then we're stupid theymabs and theyfabs who identify with our agab and are cis trenders anyway

evil-enby-osoka

yes, and EVERYTHING [PT: everything] that happens to us is our fault.

people refuse to use our pronouns? well, we should use simpler ones. it's our fault for "picking" too complicated ones.

people ignore our nonbinaryhood because we use convenient for them he/him or she/her pronouns? well, it's our fault that we choose these pronouns, we must have known that they're gendered! and also we're not actually nonbinary because of that!

people misgender and binarize us by our look? well, it's our fault that we don't put enough effort into "looking nonbinary." and we're not actually nonbinary anyways, we don't even look like that, we're just cis trenders/binary trans eggs.

people hatecrime us because they can't gender us by look and we're visibly trans? it's our fault, we shouldn't look so queer if we didn't want to face "consequences."

people target us because we have "X" in our documents, and it outs us as trans* automatically? well, it's our fault! we shouldn't put it there!

we put "F" or "M" in our documents and are still targeted by dozens of transmisic systems and still face interpersonal violence if someone considers we "don't look as our gender in papers?" it's still our fault for not passing better, or our fault for not hiding our queerness better, our fault for not changing docs (or changing docs) when we "look like that," and we're not really nonbinary because we have "F" or "M" in our docs, so there's nothing to talk about.

doctors deny us medical transition because they don't see us as "trans enough?" it's our fault! we should've shut up about our nonbinaryhood and just pretended to be binary! even if it means being misgendered and basically changing one closet for another.

people don't treat us seriously when we don't want medical transition for ourselves? well, it's our fault! what did we expect looking like that? and it couldn't be a big deal anyways, we're not "really trans" after all!

people use our medical transition to binarize us? well it's our fault again! we're basically the same as binary trans people, people would be confused! and if we insist on being included and talked about, we actually are taking away from binary people!

whatever bad happened to us is our fault. stereotypes are our fault. exorsexism is our fault. there's no systemic issues, it's just nonbinary people hurting themselves and being difficult about it. /sarcasm

pngblog

genderkoolaid

i simply don't think nonbinary people should have to see having our gender/s respected and acknowledged as a luxury. i think it's frankly sickening that that's the state of things tbh.

genderkoolaid

sorry i just think that the fact that popular binary jokes are stuff like "god isn't it so much better to exist as my gender, i didn't even realize how incredibly depressed i was until i transitioned, my life is so much more rich and colorful now that im out and transitioning :)" and popular nonbinary jokes are stuff like "i think i might be nonbinary but that doesn't matter because i have real adult concerns and no one would respect it anyways lol" and that's. normal and funny and cool. yeah. clenches teeth so hard they turn to dust

genderkoolaid

happy nonbinary people's day. treat every nonbinary person you meet with as much compassion and respect as you possibly can or ill grind YOUR teeth to dust.

chaoticmagpies

once tried to share a poem with my uncle about how awful it feels to be reduced to binary ideas of gender as a nonbinary trans dude who doesn't pass. hes a very supportive cis gay man who'd never intentionally disrespect my identity and even he kind of laughed at me when i shared it thinking it was like. supposed to be lighthearted or a joke in a way? even from one of the most compassionate people i know i feel like my identity and a massive chunk of my dysphoria comes off as a funny concept/nonserious. idk

poem included in case anyone wanted to read

genderkoolaid

This is really beautiful!

80slesbiab

laughconfetti

thank you The Beatles

idnkycmnbsesictoau

That’s Queen but yes thank you!

sovietshopaholic

[ID: a picture of the four members of the band Fleetwood Mac pointing at the camera. It’s subtitled “You’re GAY!” /End ID]

flareguncalamity

[ID: It’s ABBA. its fucking ABBA. /End ID]

cityelf

this poem is about being nonbinary.

morrriigan

beautiful games i've played ➤ baldur's gate 3

"You twine your life around the people you love. And when they are gone, you grow around their absence instead. It is just another way they shape you"

k3mamiart

naveria7

When I was little my parents used to tell me that "You should only have a partner when you intended to marry them;" I never wanted to marry, that's been a fact since I can remember, so it bears to say I came to the conclusion "I'll never have a partner"

When I was growing up my peers told me that having sex was amazing, they tried to express how attraction felt "It's like wanting to eat someone with your whole body;" I never felt that, people told me I just had to wait, I'm still waiting.

As an adult I entertained the idea of having a companion, someone to share my life with and I was told it made absolutely no sense, "A relationship is like you live with your best friend but you also have sex, if you don't have sex there is no sense."

I internalized it, it grew on me and eventually, I stopped trying to make sense to all and made my peace for a loner life.

I met someone, he was my best friend, I didn't want to eat him with my body, but I wanted ti carve myself inside him. I was clear and told him that I understood very little about cues and intentions, he said we were best friends, doing things best friends did...we were not, it took me a while to understand and a lot of heartache to accept I had been taken advantage of for years. That's when I realized with my therapist I am also autistic.

I was sent to this earth without a user's manual, without compass and without decoder.

I was put here to be autistic, asexual and aromantic. And once I found a reason why, when I found connection to the LGBTQ+ community, I was told I was wrong, I should get checked, maybe it's a hormone imbalance...

That was the first time that I actually felt I wasn't human (a term actually used upon me through time,) so I gave up, I gave up on trying to find familiarity, comfort, understanding.

This year is the first time that I feel myself valid, there are books and fanfiction with characters that are aro or ace or both, Tumblr is trending my labels, I see aroace butterflies, aroace moons, aroace dragons. There are others like me out there, but even better, there are others out there not like me, that still see we exist!

Yesterday I read a line that said "You should not be expected to come with a warning for people to love you" I cried cathartically for a good while.

Is this post about woe is me? No, is this about me wanting people to validate me? Strangely no.

This is cathartic, letting something off my chest, but this is also a plea to everyone to be kind, to not segregate people if they are different than you, to be kind to others in general; To let allos a little bit into the mind and life of someone that is even a tinier minority and try to not repeat mistakes onto the next generation, this generation even, we're never too late.

innocuousconundrumpandemoniun

spaceshipsandpurpledrank

am-i-the-asshole-official

AITA for not complaining about my sex/love life?

A bit nsfw. I'll try to keep it vague.

So I (31FTM) came out and transitioned about 5 years ago. My husband (34, cis M) and I were married beforehand. He was extremely relieved, as he had realized he was gay and didn't know how to tell me. It's like a fairy tale if Disney thought we were marketable 💜 just a bit of context to what happened next.

I have a group of friends, straight cis women my age, who knew me pretransition. They were relatively supportive, minus a few confused questions and a couple of comments early on about how hard it was to remember my name.

I was out to brunch with 3 of them (K, S, L, all early 30s/late 20s). L is engaged, S recently got serious with a guy, and K is perpetually single.

We were all chatting and eventually got on the topic of romance. S was complaining that her boyfriend never did the dishes. L laughed and said she had to essentially train her fiance to do certain household chores. K piped up with some sort of "men are the worst" comment, which I just sort of ignored, until she turned to me and said "So what gets on your nerves about YOUR husband, OP?"

I shrugged and said that sometimes he leaves his socks on the floor, but that's about it. K rolled her eyes and said there had to be SOMETHING that pissed me off about him, like "he's bad in bed or doesn't listen to you." I snapped a little and told her that no, actually, I don't care what you say about your partners but mine is actually really great, and I love him. He's great in bed, he's very caring and passionate, he listens to me all the time, and I won't be convinced to shittalk him.

It got quiet and I just decided to leave cash for my part of the bill and leave. I went home to snuggle into my husband's arms on the couch and tell him what happened. He just laughed and said I could shittalk him if I wanted. I don't think he really got why I was so upset.

That afternoon, K texted me and said I really embarrassed her in front of everyone and wanted me to apologize for what I said. I refused and told her that I wasn't gonna apologize because she assumed I didn't like my husband and I corrected her. She called me a bitch and went radio silent. I texted S and L and asked them if they were okay, no response yet.

My husband thinks I should just apologize, but I don't want to say sorry for refusing to talk badly about someone who supported me during one of the hardest times of my life, even if he'd be fine with it. It just makes me feel wrong.

AITA?

YTA

NTA

JAH

NAH

ESH

INFO

Voting ended onMay 7, 2024

noiwontsaythatabouthim

Hi, op here, some stuff happened recently.

One, I don't think I was TA, personally. Seems most of you don't think that either. I do feel bad, now, for not handling it better, though.

I texted K again later and said I was sorry for telling her that in front of everybody and then storming out. I probably should have just put my foot down harder on my refusal and told her privately how much it upset me. I also told her, like how most of y'all told me, that her whole men suck routine was really invalidating as a trans man, and that either she Included me in all men or didn't, a real damned if you do damned if you don't sort of situation.

She thanked me for apologizing and apologized herself for the men comment. She said she honestly wasn't thinking about it when she said it but she'd try to be more sensitive. She also said she'd found out that her most recent boyfriend was married with kids sooo. She was kinda down in the dumps about men and dating and whatnot.

As for bigger updates... L broke it off with her fiance after our brunch!! She realized he wasn't doing anything and just absolutely oozing weaponized incompetence. So after a big blowout where she said either grow up or I'm gone, he chose to stay a giant man baby. You know, I never liked him much. She's angry and heartbroken, but she's like, gorgeous, smart, and insanely sweet. She'll realize that he was an absolute nothingburger of a man soon and move on easily.

Anyway, seems like a lot of y'all have nice things to say about my husband, so I'm gonna tell you what happened when I came out to him because I'll tell as many people who will listen how perfect he is.

So for the past two years before I came out, almost our whole married life, we had been having difficulty. I'd realized I was a man shortly before he proposed to me, and I thought I would just bottle it up and keep it down for the rest of my life. Turns out that's hard.

Like I said, difficulty. We were rarely affectionate with one another, almost never made love, and when we did, it was so unenjoyable that usually I pretended to finish and he said he was fine without finishing. It wasn't healthy for either of us. I kept feeling like I was dragging him down with how mopey I was around him, so around 5 years ago I decided to just bite the bullet and come out. I had already been visiting with a gender therapist behind his back and had the go ahead from both them and my endocrinologist to start T. I felt very guilty about that at the time, doing it behind his back.

I took him into the bedroom to talk and ended up just sobbing into his shirt for 30 minutes before timidly muttering "baby, I think I'm a man. I wanna be a man."

He laughed so loudly it made me jump and then cried out "thank GOD" as he hugged me. He told me that he was a second away from coming out himself and that he thought he'd have to divorce me. He was so relieved, I don't think I've ever seen him that happy. He promised to be with me every step of the way, and he was.

He was there to kiss me when I changed my name. He held my hand as I got my first T shot. He was the first thing I saw when I woke up from both top surgery and my sterilization procedure. He bitched at the social security office because it was all bullshit, he got in long, annoying phone calls with the bank. He renewed his vows with me last year in front of all our friends and family. He's the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night. I would do anything for him. I love him so much.

Sorry, I know I'm gushing, this isn't what the blog's for, but I just... need you all to understand that when K asked me to shittalk my husband, how impossible that felt. How cruel it felt. And I also want any other trans folks reading this to know that you can find your person, you don't have to give up on love. Someone out there is gonna love you, they're gonna think you're so fucking hot, they're gonna bend over backwards to make you happy. And you deserve it, too.

Sorry about the rambling. Hope all yall have a good day.

bedbugbiting

My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

bomberqueen17

I searched and searched for the post this graphic was from, and the OP deactivated, but I kept the graphic, because my BFF does the same thing, uses her imagination to come up with the worst pain she can imagine and pegs her “10″ there, and so is like, well, I’m conscious, so this must be a 5, and then the doctors don’t take her seriously. (And she then does things like driving herself to the hospital while in the process of giving birth. Probably should have called an ambulance for that one!)

So I found this and sent it to her. Because this is what they want to know: how badly is this pain affecting you? Not on a scale of “nothing” to “how I’d imagine it’d feel if bears were eating my still-living guts while I was on fire”.

I hate reposting stuff, but I’ll never find that post again and OP is deactivated, so, here’s a repost. I can delete this later, i just wanted to get it to you and I can’t embed images in a chat or an ask.

derryderrydown

This is possibly why it took several weeks to diagnose my fractured spine.

petralemaitre

Pain Scale transcription:

10 - I am in bed and I can’t move due to my pain. I need someone to take me to the emergency room because of my pain.

9 - My pain is all that I can think about. I can barely move or talk because of my pain.

8 - My pain is so severe that it is difficult to think of anything else. Talking and listening are difficult.

7 - I am in pain all the time. It keeps me from doing most activities.

6 - I think about my pain all of the time. I give up many activities because of my pain.

5 - I think about my pain most of the time. I cannot do some of the activities I need to do each day because of the pain.

4 - I am constantly aware of my pain but can continue most activities.

3 - My pain bothers me but I can ignore it most of the time.

2 - I have a low level of pain. I am aware of my pain only when I pay attention to it.

1 - My pain is hardly noticeable.

0 - I have no pain.

airagorncharda

It’s also really important to get this kind of scale to people who have chronic pain, because chronic pain drastically lowers your perception of how “bad” any kind of pain actually is, and yet something like this pain scale is extremely user friendly.

For example, if someone asked me how much pain I’m in at any given time, I’d say hardly any, and yet I’m apparently at a chronic 2.5, and it only goes up from there depending on the day.

There’s also a similarly useful “Fatigue Scale”

jedijenkins

I haven’t been below a 5 on this scale for 4 years

nerdgasrnz

Here’s the fatigue scale

sunny-day-sky

Fatigue scale image desc:

10: can barely move; can’t talk

9: can barely move; can talk

8: can move, but can’t do much more than watch TV

7: can watch TV and play a game on my phone simultaneously

6: can do work on my computer lying in bed

5: can get around the house, but definitely couldn’t go out

4: can run a light errand

3: can get in my 10,000 steps, making my fitbit happy

2: can do three or more activities in a single day

1: going clubbing!

eruvadhril

See also the Mental Health Pain Scale by Graceful Patient:

Mental Health Pain Scale transcription:

MILD

1 - Everything is a-okay! There is absolutely nothing wrong. You’re probably cuddling a fluffy kitten right now. Enjoy!

2 - You’re a bit frustrated or disappointed, but you’re easily distracted and cheered up with a little effort.

3 - Things are bothering you, but you’re coping. You might be overtired or hungry. The emotional equivalent of a headache.

MODERATE

4 - Today is a bad day (or a few bad days). You still have the skills to get through it, but be gentle with yourself. Use self-care strategies.

5 - Your mental health is starting to impact on your everyday life. Easy things are becoming difficult. You should talk to your doctor.

6 - You can’t do things the way you usually do them due to your mental health. Impulsive and compulsive thoughts may be hard to cope with.

SEVERE

7 - You’re avoiding things that make you more distressed, but that will make it worse. You should definitely seek help. This is serious.

8 - You can’t hide your struggles any more. You may have issues sleeping, eating, having fun, socialising, and work/study. Your mental health is affecting almost all parts of your life.

9 - You’re at a critical point. You aren’t functioning any more. You need urgent help. You may be a risk to yourself or others if left untreated.

10 - The worst mental and emotional distress possible. You can no longer care for yourself. You can’t imagine things getting any worse. Contact a crisis line immediately.

kingspadedying

These are so important! SO SO IMPORTANT SHARE THIS AND SAVE IT TO SHOW YOUR DOCTORS!

mrswhozeewhatsis

This is the first time I’ve seen the fatigue scale, and HOLY MOLY that’s a revelation!!! These should be on all hospital and doctor office walls.

thesaltofcarthage

I’ve never seen the mental health one! or the fatigue one! I printed out the pain one and gave it to my GP.

ambulatoryhoodie

When asked why I got top surgery:

I have an extensive graphic tee collection and boobs really fuck up the design

I wanted to be a more aerodynamic swimmer

The anime style ‘boing’ sound effect from my tits kept alerting the guards and it was really cutting into my revenue as a jewel thief

Lost them in the war

Pat down my chest then franticly check my pockets and bag. ‘I most have left them at home’

They would bounce at a speed of 379 mph and the sound was getting noise complaints

Commitment to cosplay

Rehomed them for a small fee, just couldn’t take care of them anymore

Wym I never had tits?????

They turned evil and I had to cut them off like Ash (from the evil dead) had to cut his hand off

They just refused to pay rent so I had to have the city evict them

Sold them for computer parts

The vibe was off with them

daily-spooky

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