Or: How Cybird Accidentally Invented Mothman Faust
The Cybird conference room had been prepared with the desperate optimism of people who still believed meetings accomplished things.
A long table.
A projector.
Three untouched coffees slowly cooling into regret.
And seated before the blank presentation screen were the worst possible men to assign a Faust event story.
William Shakespeare had already claimed the first chair like it was a stage and he had been cast as the storm.
Arthur Conan Doyle sat beside him, deceptively relaxed, eyes sharp with the bored delight of a detective praying the meeting would become a crime.
Dazai occupied the final seat with the faint, resigned air of a man who had attended his own funeral and found the catering predictable.
The Cybird intern stood trembling at the front.
“Thank you all for coming,” she said weakly. “Management wants ideas for the next Faust event story.”
The intern blinked. “Pardon?”
“Faust is impossible to write for. Every romantic premise involving him becomes either a psychological experiment, a hostage situation, or foreplay with footnotes. Frankly, I refuse to be liable for any of those.”
Dazai lifted a hand lazily.
“Counterpoint. That’s what makes him marketable.”
Shakespeare’s head lifted, birdlike, as though marketable despair had entered the room carrying roses.
“O tragic alchemist of yearning and restraint…”
Arthur pointed at him immediately.
“You survive it every time.”
The intern cleared her throat nervously.
“So we just need something romantic. Popular trends right now are café dates, cozy intimacy, maybe some light possessiveness…”
All three men slowly turned toward her.
Shakespeare rose immediately in a swirl of theatrical purpose.
“Then allow me to demonstrate true romance.”
Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose like a man preparing for incoming weather.
Shakespeare swept toward the projector with the confidence of someone about to commit literature.
“The heroine encounters Faust beneath moonlit roses,” he declared, already writing furiously, “‘whereupon he takes her trembling hand and whispers…’”
He cleared his throat dramatically.
“O fairest star that wanders through the cathedral of my despair, thou hast unstitched the sable veil around my immortal heart.”
Arthur stared at the screen like he had discovered a corpse and disliked the murderer’s handwriting.
“…What,” he said carefully, “was that.”
Shakespeare blinked. “Romance.”
“That was not Faust,” Arthur snapped. “That was a widowed vampire peacock.”
“He does have peacock energy occasionally.”
Shakespeare looked wounded.
“I object to evidence tampering.” Arthur stood, already pacing. “Faust would never begin with praise. Praise gives the other person footing. He would begin with an observation precise enough to sound clinical and intimate enough to ruin your week.”
Shakespeare folded his arms.
Arthur adjusted his cuffs, eyes gleaming despite himself.
“Something like, ‘You continue returning despite ample warning signs. Fascinating.’”
The intern slowly lowered her pen.
Dazai nodded immediately.
“That’s unfortunately accurate.”
Shakespeare looked horrified.
“That sounds like a diagnosis.”
Arthur pointed triumphantly.
Shakespeare pressed a hand to his chest.
“You would put yearning in a filing cabinet if left unattended.”
“And at least then we could find it,” Arthur replied.
He turned toward the projector now, the expression on his face changing from irritation to professional hunger. A bad idea had entered the room, and unfortunately, it had clues.
“If any of you wish to write Faust without committing character assassination, you begin with circumstance, not moonlight.”
The intern brightened weakly. “That sounds promising.”
Arthur approached the screen like a detective about to accuse a duke at dinner.
“Simple. We begin with a locked-room mystery.”
The intern perked up. “A murder?”
“Worse. Faust has locked himself in his laboratory for three days, and no one knows whether he’s dead, working, or sulking with scientific intent.”
“So the mystery is whether he’s dead.”
“Or working,” Arthur corrected.
“Those are visually identical,” Dazai replied.
Arthur ignored him, already too pleased with the structure.
“The heroine investigates. She notices the untouched tray outside his door, the faint smell of chemicals, the absence of his usual condescending remarks. All signs point toward disaster.”
The intern nodded faster.
“She picks the lock and discovers Faust unconscious beside a failed experiment.”
“Exhaustion,” Arthur corrected. “Possibly self-inflicted. Very important distinction.”
“And the romance?” the intern asked carefully.
Arthur looked mildly surprised by the question.
“…He allows her to remain in the laboratory afterward.”
Dazai slowly covered his mouth.
“Arthur,” he said, almost reverent, “you accidentally understand Faust better than all of us.”
Arthur sat down immediately, irritated.
Shakespeare looked deeply offended by the understatement.
“Deduction? Nay. That is devotion in a white coat, love translated into permission and proximity.”
“You just made a locked door sound indecent.”
The intern raised a cautious hand.
“What about something softer? Cozy domestic romance, perhaps? Baking together?”
Silence reclaimed the table.
“Insufficiently tragic,” said Shakespeare.
“Faust would measure flour with laboratory equipment.”
Arthur nodded reluctantly. “Accurate.”
The intern brightened slightly. “So maybe baking could wor…”
“No,” all three said immediately.
Shakespeare suddenly raised one hand dramatically toward the heavens.
“The event shall be titled…”
He let the title descend upon them like a chandelier nobody had secured properly.
“THE LABYRINTH OF DESIRE.”
Arthur immediately objected.
“That sounds like an erotic minotaur situation.”
Dazai nodded thoughtfully.
“I would read it,” he said. “Briefly. Then I would stare at the wall.”
The intern looked panicked already. “Maybe something less intense?”
Shakespeare pressed a hand to his chest.
“Nay. Picture it. A maze at night. The heroine wanders alone, guided by candlelight and the distant sound of a man refusing to process his feelings.”
“Why is she wandering alone?”
Dazai rested his chin in his hand.
“Faust is at the center, obviously.”
Shakespeare’s eyes lit up.
“The beast in the labyrinth.”
“You want Faust to be the minotaur.”
“He already has the temperament.”
The intern whispered, “He doesn’t have horns.”
Arthur gave her a tired look.
“That has never stopped marketing.”
Shakespeare leaned forward, suddenly soft, which was somehow worse than when he shouted.
“The beast is not monstrous because he has horns. He is monstrous because he believes love cannot survive the sight of him.”
“Stop making marketable points.”
Shakespeare bowed slightly.
Arthur noticed immediately.
The intern clutched her pen.
“Monster romance is… performing well right now,” she admitted, with the haunted voice of someone watching analytics chew through the floorboards.
“I’m not encouraging him,” she whispered. “I’m reporting market conditions.”
“You are supposed to be the adult in the room.”
“That is not a moral exemption.”
“So we agree,” he murmured. “Monster romance. Humanity returns to the forest eventually.”
“We do not agree,” Arthur said.
Shakespeare whispered, “The beast may yet be beloved.”
Dazai did not answer immediately.
His gaze had drifted past Arthur’s shoulder, unfocused and distant, as if some private tragedy had wandered into the ceiling tiles and begun performing for him alone.
The intern turned slowly.
A moth was circling the fluorescent light above the conference table.
Tiny. Pale. Doomed. Enthusiastic.
Dazai watched it with the grave tenderness of a man witnessing prophecy make poor choices.
“…There,” he said softly.
Arthur followed his gaze.
“It already chose him,” Dazai murmured.
“So is fate,” Dazai said, “when the lighting is bad.”
The moth hit the bulb again.
Arthur stared at it, then at Dazai.
“You are not basing an entire Faust route on an insect with poor survival instincts.”
Dazai’s smile barely moved.
“It understands longing.”
Shakespeare rose slowly, eyes shining with religious disaster.
“A creature drawn to radiance though it knows the flame may kill it…”
Shakespeare clasped his hands together with terrifying sincerity.
“Gentlemen. For once, we are not enemies.”
“We are absolutely enemies.”
Dazai murmured, “To something that should have been stillborn.”
“To art,” Shakespeare corrected.
The room became dangerous.
The projector flickered ominously.
Dazai leaned forward slightly, as if the moth had handed him minutes from a meeting no human should have attended.
“Suppose,” he said, voice mild as rain on a grave, “Faust attempts to improve human transportation and accidentally worsens himself.”
The intern blinked. “…Why.”
“Science,” Arthur muttered bitterly.
“A terrible accident occurs,” Dazai continued. “A moth enters the machine with him.”
“He avoids sunlight,” Dazai said reasonably. “Sleeps in cocoons. Appears silently at night to say psychologically devastating things.”
“…You’ve thought about this before.”
Dazai’s eyes returned to the moth.
Arthur frowned. “Beside what?”
“The idea,” Dazai said. “It arrived early and waited for us.”
Shakespeare looked spiritually enlightened.
“THE MOTHMAN OF YEARNING.”
“No one has ever said those words before because God was merciful.”
The projector changed slides.
EVENT TITLE:
Moonlight Metamorphosis: The Mothman’s Desire
“We’re going to lose our jobs.”
“No. You’re going to break sales records. The market has always loved a beautiful warning sign.”
Arthur stared at the slide in visible pain.
Dazai tilted his head. “You haven’t heard the mechanics.”
“I do not need to hear the mechanics. The word ‘Mothman’ has already assaulted both literature and God.”
“…Unless the transformation is gradual.”
The intern stared at him.
“I am preventing worse people from helping.”
Shakespeare clasped his hands together.
“Ah! The detective enters the monster’s chapel.”
“The detective is filing a complaint,” Arthur snapped. “If we are committing this crime, we are at least giving it internal consistency.”
Arthur approached the projector with renewed purpose, already trapped by his own cleverness.
“At first, the symptoms are subtle.”
The projector changed again.
SYMPTOMS:
• heightened nocturnal activity
• attraction to light sources
• increasing cocoon behavior
• judgmental fluttering sounds
• emotional vulnerability under moonlight
The intern made a strangled noise.
“You can hear disappointment in the wingbeats.”
Arthur tapped the bullet point with a pen.
“Actually, the first symptom should be attraction to light. He begins standing under chandeliers and claiming it improves his concentration.”
“Second symptom: cocoon behavior.”
“Already present,” Arthur said. “The man disappears into blankets and calls it recovery.”
Shakespeare whispered, “A chrysalis of sorrow.”
“A duvet,” Arthur corrected. “But yes.”
The intern’s pen moved against her will.
Arthur leaned closer to the screen, almost smiling now.
“Third symptom: heightened irritation when disturbed.”
“For Faust, yes. Which is why the heroine mistakes the transformation for his personality at first. Clean misdirection. Very efficient.”
The intern looked horrified.
“Do not sound surprised.”
Shakespeare had begun pacing again, drunk on possibility.
“The heroine discovers him wrapped within silken bedding, hidden away in moonlit chambers like some wounded creature of longing…”
“Or a haunted camping larva.”
“Premium avatar item: Cocoon Sleeping Bag Faust.”
The intern dropped her pen.
Arthur’s head snapped toward Dazai.
“Arthur,” the intern whispered.
He looked disgusted with himself.
Shakespeare ignored them completely, now pacing not like a poet but a director watching scenery rise into place.
“At the climax of the route, the transformed doctor descends from the night sky itself!”
“Moths don’t fly that high.”
“Rule of cool,” Dazai replied.
“That is not a rule. That is a confession.”
“No, no,” Shakespeare said suddenly, holding up one hand. “Not the sky. Too distant. Too heroic. Faust is not thunder. He is the shape waiting inside the room after the lamp is lit.”
Arthur paused despite himself.
Shakespeare stepped toward the projector, eyes narrowed in horrifying concentration.
“The heroine should not look up and find him above her. She should enter the laboratory believing herself alone. The lantern flickers. The shelves breathe shadow. Then…”
“The shadow should reach her before he does.”
Arthur looked genuinely wounded.
“…Unfortunately, that is good staging.”
“I accept your surrender.”
The projector changed one final time.
PREMIUM CG:
Faust beneath glowing lantern light.
Dark wings spread behind him.
Green eyes luminous.
One hand against the heroine’s throat.
Arthur studied the proposed CG with the grave focus of a man examining footprints in wet clay.
“…The lantern placement is clever.”
The intern whispered, “Please don’t say that.”
“It draws the eye to the wings,” Arthur continued, unwillingly captivated by the craft of the disaster. “Establishes motive. Explains why the heroine approaches despite every instinct screaming against it.”
“I said it was structurally effective. Do not make me vulgar.”
Shakespeare pressed both hands over his heart.
“A monster bathed in forbidden light! A heroine trembling before the silhouette of appetite! Desire itself takes wing!”
Shakespeare lowered one hand.
The intern stared at the screen.
“So… the route is Faust slowly becoming a mothman because of a failed experiment, while the heroine tries to save him, but he keeps being drawn to light and wrapping himself in bedding?”
Arthur nodded, grimly proud despite himself.
“And the emotional arc,” Dazai said softly, “is that a man who hides in darkness mistakes light for danger until someone refuses to look away.”
“I know,” Dazai said sadly. “Awful, isn’t it?”
Shakespeare whispered, “By the lantern.”
“By the heroine, you incandescent nuisance.”
The intern looked down at her notes.
“This is the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”
Arthur glanced at the screen again.
“…The worst part,” he admitted quietly, “is that people would absolutely bark for this.”
The moth struck the fluorescent light one final time.
No one looked up except Dazai.
He gave it a small, respectful nod.
Shakespeare looked radiant.
“Then we have done our duty.”
Arthur sat back, looking ill with competence.
“No. We have solved a crime we committed ourselves.”
Meanwhile, somewhere deep beneath the castle, Faust looked up abruptly from his research notes.
“…Why do I suddenly feel as though someone has put wings on my dignity.”
Credit to @crowmero, who stood beside me at the fluorescent altar and said, “Yes. Give him wings.” Blame her too.