[showerthoughtsofficial]

Music is just wiggling air

[the-sunshine-cult-deactivated20]

don’t do this. don’t do this to me today.

[mrmansand-deactivated20180806]

and color is just wiggling light. thanks for coming to my ted talk 

[inside-us-only-stars]

Artists and musicians are just magicians of the wiggle

[passionpeachy-deactivated202312]

an artist’s best quality: their wiggles

[nursery-deactivated20160926]

one of my favorite sensations is when you can feel the ocean nearby without seeing it

[kitty]

[werewolfmali]

me at 15: why do my parents watch fuckin hgtv all day?

me at 25: damn the granite countertops really do make that kitchen pop

[cookie-sheet-toboggan]

why i stan ryan reynolds’s deadpool

negasonic teenaged warhead (comics): a white goth without a love interest

ryan reynolds: she’s a biracial goth with a lovely japanese girlfriend

russell collins (comics): a buff blond blue-eyed american

ryan reynolds: he’s a chubby polynesian māori kid from new zealand

domino (comics): She’s white with a black tattoo around her eye

ryan reynolds: she’s black with a vitiligo patch around her eye

vanessa carlysle (comics): unknown ethnicity

ryan reynolds: we’ll make her brazilian

blind al (comics): white

ryan reynolds: black

deadpool (comics): a pansexual canadian

ryan reynolds: i sure am!! …i mean, he sure is!

[5bi5]

I want emo versions of idioms

Like, instead of ““you’re barking up the wrong tree” it’s “you’re panicking at the wrong disco”

[scanalan]

You can lead a horse to Evanescence but you can’t bring him to life

[aprilslady-deactivated20181029]

[brucebocchi]

memes have peaked, we can stop using them now

[ithelpstodream]

An icon in every sense of the word, Josephine Baker is the bisexual goddess we all truly aspire to be.

She dated Frida Kahlo, was a top cabaret dancer and helped to defeat the Nazis in France through her work as a resistance spy.

The extraordinary American hero wasn’t always destined for greatness though.

https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2018/03/05/meet-the-bisexual-black-cabaret-dancer-and-spy-who-dated-frida-kahlo-and-helped-defeat-the-nazis-in-france/

[coolhotdad]

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

[youstoodmeupforayardsale-mo-blog]

this passed the bechdel test

[icedespressoo]

dari_kim

[iwilleatyourenglish]

theory: the rest of the world in the Mad Max universe is totally fine and Australia just did that

[iwilleatyourenglish]

one lone wastelander manages to sail to new zealand only to find out everything there’s just like… normal

“how did you all manage to survive?”

“survive?”

“the nuclear war??”

“the what”

[clarkonly]

LMAO but wouldn’t the rest of the world send help or something like that?

[iwilleatyourenglish]

nah australians instantly switched over to leather fetish gear, frankenstein trucks, and machine guns the minute shit went south. the UN aid workers got there and saw this

and just turned right the fuck back around

[pr1nceshawn]

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

[hiddlesherethereeverywhere]

THIS IS IMPORTANT 

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now). 

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes. 

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that. 

Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is. 

[titenoute]

DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.

[honeybeehusky-blog]

Off topic, but very important! I was taught to yell “this is not my mom/dad.” A young kid freaking out in public is likely to be ignored out of embarrassment, but a kid telling you right out that they don’t know who is messing with them? That will turn heads.

[optimusisbestpoptimus-deactivat]

VERY IMPORTANT!! 

[dorothycastlemore]

the wild thing about hayley kiyoko songs is that they never sound new, you listen to a song by her for the first time and you’re just like ‘o ya, i know all the words, and also this has been my favorite song for ten years’

[hooligankid-deactivated20200607]

It’s because she’s Sappho reincarnated and she’s always enchanted you with her music in your past lives

[dorothycastlemore]

that’s absolutely true and correct, thank you for providing the needed context for me to understand this phenomenon 

[camblogarchive]

nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

[camblogarchive]

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

[camblogarchive]

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”

[toxicglooo]

please watch the round planet on netflix it’s exactly like that 

[fairydusts]

girl culture is turning around every few feet when you’re walking alone to see if someone’s following u

[jaxblade]

I don’t care if you don’t watch Supernatural at all, the Scoobynatural episode is A MUST WATCH FOR ANYBODY 😂😂😂

[hetare-ttk]