KayKay @kaykay11xx - Tumblr Blog

Fitness From Florida

I wanted to write this to reflect and talk about what I have been doing to help and support my mental health. Overall my mental health is not brilliant, I may be getting better in terms of taking the right medication and getting enough exercise, but honestly I don’t think I couldn’t have gotten far if it weren’t for the help of my friends and family.

I have taken pride in reading to try and motivate myself, there are so many, “self help” books that you can read that will help you during your healing process. One book I have been reading in particular, and to which I highly recommend is; “Inspire; Mind, Body and Soul: 365 Days of inspirations”. By Karen Ficarelli

Karen Ficarelli is a personal trainer from Fort Lauderdale Florida, she is a loving wife and mother to three sons. She words endlessly to help so many people whether it being in regards to their physical or even mental health. I like to call Karen my “Fitness Guru” she spends everyday of her life giving us fantastic tips and motivation for our daily exercise, and shares it on her social media sites.

The book in general does exactly what it says on the cover, it is a book fills with motivational sayings, there is one for every day of the year which is perfect if you need a quick boost before you start your day. Although Karen is a personal trainer, this does not mean she just mainly focuses on just physical fitness, her book also highlights on; stress, mental health, self love and friendship. I frequently share these quotes, especially on my instagram where everyday I like to share my progress and what I like to do fitness wise.

I know Karen personally, and frankly I love her to bits, she is such a lovely, caring and of course wise person. She will always give such strong advice and motivation and she always seems to make time for people who need it. Although I can spend the entirety of this blog saying how great she is, this is not why I am writing this blog, I want to help people cope with their mental health and give them new ways to open their mind and how they can put themselves on the right track to a happier future. This is just one of the books that I truly believe can help anyone who may need a helping hand.

I hope this little post can help someone in some way. there is always light at the end of the tunnel, just keep moving and stay strong <3

“Listening, humility, understanding and empathy are the roads less traveled. Listen and validate others. What they have to say is always important. Practice the golden rule; treat others the same way you want them to treat you”- Karen Ficarelli

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Mind-Soul-Inspirations-Well-being/dp/1979785112/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1514306927&sr=8-1&keywords=karen+ficarelli

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he’s trying a golden raisin for the first time

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PROVE THEM WRONG

Hey everyone!

I know I don’t post a lot but I am going to try and change that by (attempting) to post weekly and about something that affects others, thanks to Danny Simm for sharing my recent dyspraxia article, I have decided to do another post on dyspraxia and how it affected me at college and in at work

I have always wanted to work in care, anyone who knows me will tell you that I am the most empathetic person you will ever meet and that I care so much for others. I went to college for 2 years to further my learning and get to the place where I wanted to be

Having dyspraxia had an affect on getting my qualifications, I struggle with keeping a routine and this led me to pretty much procrastinate my whole course this then led to me overthinking and having various panic and anxiety attacks. Even once in an exam I was so scared to fail and to let everyone and myself down. I did manage to get my SVQ 2 but by the skin of my teeth. I didn’t get the qualifications to get into university and that had a HUGE impact on my confidence in getting a care job & just my confidence in general.

Luckily after months of searching I finally got my first job and at a HC-One care home, I was so shy starting out. My anxiety is awful when in new environments and because this was my first job and I have never worked in care before my anxiety just got worse and worse, although most of my colleagues are so lovely and supportive there was one person that tipped me over the edge and really made me question where I want to be, in fact this person said I wouldn’t even make it 3 months in the job, not only did I break down at this horrible comment but it also affected my confidence by 110% and put me in the deepest pit of depression.

But you know what? I wasn’t going to let that stop me doing the job I love doing. I worked hard at improving my confidence and trying to get my dyspraxia in a better place, It normally makes me stutter and slur my words and when you are rushing round everywhere that makes things worse. I worked on my confidence everyday and and worked harder to be a better carer and to prove that person wrong, because I know I’m a caring . My hard work paid off. Not only did I make it past 3 months but on my 6 month probation on Tuesday my manager gave me a glowing report, she mentioned my confidence and how much it has improved from when I first started. She also said that I am a “very good carer” and because I have my SVQ 2 I get aim and get my 3 to become a Senior Carer, because she has enough confidence in me and believes I can do this. She also said I can then work from senior carer to nurses assistant to even depute manager, in my personal opinion I don’t think she would have said that if she didn’t have faith in me. Or didn’t think I had the skills to do it. So I proved that person wrong, I have made it waaay longer than they thought I would and I may be going for Senior Carer in the near future.

In conclusion, if you are passionate about something don’t let anyone stop you do what you want to do because at the end of the day, you are way stronger and way better than they make you out to be and they aren’t worth it. There are a lot of people in the world that’ll try and bring you down but after hard work and dedication you will make it to place you want to be!

Thank you again to Danny Simm for sharing my dyspraxia article and for giving it more notice and for being such an inspiration to us all!

Stay strong my loves❤

#motivation #career #care assistant #inspiration

Living With Dyspraxia

Dypraxia is- a developmental disorder of the brain in childhood causing difficulty in activities requiring coordination and movement.

As a child I have always struggled with my balance, co-ordination and emotions. I have had these struggles all my life and still do to this day. But as a result to being somewhat “different” to all the other kids at school, I was frequently bullied. I would spend day after day hating myself and thinking “what have i possibly done to be treated this way?” Even with being bullied I also considered self harm. It was the not knowing of why i was treated so poorly and how I was the way I was. One night I couldn’t sleep. I was up all night overthinking but this time I had had enough, I went through to my mother’s bedroom and asked her what was wrong with me, she was obviously confused to why I was asking this but after a few minutes she told me that I had dyspraxia. I had not a clue what it was and why my mum hid it from me for such a long time (I was 16 when i asked her what was wrong with me) It wasn’t until recently after some research, all of the thing that made me so “different” finally made scene.

When I was very young, probably even under 5 years old. My mum had enrolled me in weekly ballet lessons, and within the first week that is when the teacher told my mum that I had dyspraxia, I know she is not a doctor or anything but all the things that she has commented on were related to childhood dyspraxia. I struggled following what the teacher had instructed and my rhythm and co- ordination was very behind, so the teacher played some music and let me get on with my own thing. I know I seemed pretty happy with it at the time, but now looking at it, I thought it was very harsh, I was treated differently to the other children. I now remember that in Primary and High School, my co-ordination was pretty bad, I would constantly trip over my own feet and struggle with direction. In terms of my emotional and behavioral side, I would be easily distracted and tended to day dream. I also hated being in big crowds, I would just feel very uncomfortable and distressed in them, I also tended to get very stressed and anxious easily and tend to not take part in difficult tasks. I guess because I didn’t know how to act in these situations, I would cry as a defense mechanism but this just led to more bullying, high school was the worst for it. If i was asked a question, it would take me so long to answer it, with dyspraxia; One thing can go in the brain and it would take a while for the person to process things and try to come up with a suitable or correct solution or answer, I also tend to stutter and struggle pronouncing words. I try not to let these things affect my day to day life.

I don’t know the direct cause of my dyspraxia but after doing some research i have found that being born prematurely is a cause and I was in fact born 3 months early. I am now 18 and have a job as a carer. I try not to let these things affect my life. Although I left school because of the constant bullying and I have made some amazing and loyal friends, they support me in all my struggles and have made me feel like a better person, I just want to go on everyday loving life and helping other people.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog, “The dyspraxia foundation” and “NHS choices” helped me understand dyspraxia better. Much love to all the readers!

#dypraxia #differentisgood #dontbeafraid

Meeting Bronnie (03/12/16)

Hello friends and fellow Brondogs! As you may know, I have been a supporting, English musician, singer, songwriter Bronnie Hughes for nearly 2 years now! For all those who may not know her, her music has a kind of “punk poppy” vibe and her songs are really fun and quirky. Her style is very unique, going by her striking blue eyes and long, bright pink hair. She has released some amazing songs over the past year for example “High School Sucks”, “Social Rejects” and my personal favourite “Scared Much”.

Not only is she such an amazing perfomer and artist, she is literally one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. She has helped me throughout so many struggles in my life, as you may have read in my last blog, I have recently lost my grandmother to cancer, through this pain and heartbreak, Bronnie was truly there and has also helped me with my struggles with my own mental health.

I have tried to meet Bronnie for such a long time but due to distance and shortage of money, I have never been able to go. But finally I got to meet her on the 3rd of December at the Alstar Christmas Party! to tell you the truth I literally only knew Bronnie out of all the acts who were up there, I went on my own thinking I would be okay and that if i got to the front, my anxiety may not get to me and that if she saw that I was uneasy she would smile or something to make me feel more comfortable. Unfortunately it didn’t pan out like that, I was only 40 minutes behind from the doors opening and already the queue was massive and I had to go alone because everyone else was working, because I was so far back in the queue, I had to be right at the back of the crowd where I could barely see anything, but I didn’t let that get me down, I thought to myself “I’m seeing Bronnie and nothing is going to stop me!” She absolutely slayed it! she is so energetic and stomps on that stage like she owns it! (well she does obvs) after the show had finished and the after party began, I ran into Bronnie’s dad, Mark. He gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek and thanked me for coming and for supporting Bronnie for as long as I have. He kept me company and we chatted away for ages! He is just such an awesome and lovely guy, Marky Mark if you are reading this “YOU ROCK!” After talking to mark I finally got to see Bronnie, she looked so happy to see me and she gave me countless hugs, she said that she was grateful that I have traveled from FIfe to Glasgow to see her (2 hours by bus) we chatted for a long time and she treated all her fans amazingly, all new and old ones, she even introduced me to a girl named Julia, and she is so sweet, we have been chatting quite a bit on twitter in the last couple of days so I don’t think I’ll be alone to the next gig :P I’m very excited to say that I will also be on Bronnie’s blog, *WARNING* I’m so sorry if i appear awkward <3

I hope all Brondogs will have the opportuinity to see Bronnie in the near future, she loves all her fans so much and appreciates everything that we do for her!

I hope to see her again one day and maybe you guys too!! I might also do a perisope or something to describe my experience better

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google is scary accurate nowadays

Do Something Good!

Hey guys!

So as you all may have read in my previous blog, I was going donate some of my hair to a cancer charity, the main reasons for this being that my friend and grandmother both got cancer just weeks within each other, and I realised in my pain and sadness that I must look out for the people that need help. I initially looked into “The Little Princess Trust” as I hear stories about little children getting the horrible disease and it breaks my heart, as they are so young and haven’t seen much of the world yet, to find that there is a possibility to be taken away from it so soon.This charity specializes in making real hair wigs to children who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy. After a lot of waiting and decision making, on the 28th of September I donated 12 inches of my hair to this amazing charity, I feel great to have done something as brave as this for the charity, I love doing things that will make others feel happy, seeing the good it does for others makes you feel like a much better human being! I always try everything in my power to be a nice person and help other people in times of need. Whether it offering help and support to a person who is in a bad place emotionally, to lending a couple of pounds or volunteering to a charity, these things are simple yet fantastic to not just you but of course to the person that you are helping.

I must admit when I found out that my friend got cancer, it was hard for me because he was technically my first proper “guy friend” I had been bullied a lot by guys during school, so having a boy be very nice to me during my low points was truly refreshing. I was pretty down when finding out about him and my grandmother so close together, but in my sadness and not leaving my room for anything, that’s when I asked myself “What am I doing?” I’m not saying that I thought I was overreacting, but I certainly thought that I should be helping himself and his family, rather than feeling sorry for myself. I messaged them as much as possible, just to let them know that I was here for them. I messaged his mother a lot to ensure that she was okay because she is a truly amazing woman and I’m so glad I know her a little better. I even sent them tea (don’t ask XD). Also helping his girlfriend was good, I couldn’t imagine how she as feeling at this time, I truly believe all the sadness I felt finding out he had cancer was mainly me thinking about how they were feeling and just how devastated they would have been. His GF is truly one of the nicest down to earth ladies I have ever spoken to, throughout all this pain she still helped me cope with my grandmother’s battle. I honestly don’t know where to start if I was to thank her. She really has become a true friend <3

Although that friend is thankfully cancer- free after having surgery. My grandmother sadly is no longer with us, she had just turned 80 and had stomach cancer when I was little, resulting in her having to have her stomach removed and a fake one placed. So when I found out that she had bowel cancer, I knew after having not much appetite due to her pouch and declining health, I knew she wouldn’t be with us for very long. My grandmother was a beautiful woman both inside and out, and I honestly wish I had some more moments with her before she passed.

Thank you all for the love and support that you all have shown me through this hard time, I love you all and appreciate all that you have done for me. I am still very down and vulnerable as this is the first death I have experienced since finding out I have depression and it being such an important person passing away. Her funeral is on the 6th of October (also my mum’s 50th Birthday) so I’ll need to travel 6 hours away to Hereford to say goodbye. so please bare with me if updates are slow <3

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My endless love to the Ficarelli family. I will forever be there for you wonderful people <3

A special thank you to my friends on Twitter and beyond for all the love and kindness. Especially to my besties, Niki & Nikita <3

Thank you to Gia, for all your help, you have no idea what your friendship and love means to me. I’ll forever be there for you (you’re not gonna get rid of me easily ;) )

Rest In Peace Grandma, You are a beautiful Angel who has touched the souls of many. I’m so blessed that you have been a part of my life and my journey- From as you call me - “The Best Girl In the World”

#DoGood #BeStrong #EndlessLove

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Me: depression isn’t bothering me Me: *forgets to eat, either sleeps too much or not at all, feels nothing 90% of the time, doesn’t change clothes for 8 days* Me: positive vibes ✌

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my reaction to everything (via nakedly)

Little Princess Project

Throughout my life I have had people in my family and in my social circle who have fought a battle or have tragically died due to cancer. I’m one of those people who love to volunteer or help others in any way that I can. I like to raise money for different charities and just helping people going through struggles like cancer, I remember loosing my Auntie Val to breast cancer and seeing her virtually days before she died and not even recognizing her, due to her loosing her hair and a huge amount of weight. Seeing her like that made me realise just how cruel the illness/ disease (call it what you will) was. From that point I have tried to do what I can to raise money for places like “Marie Curie” and “Macmillan” The nurses at Marie Curie endlessly worked to ensure that my granddad, who I lost when I was around 4. And my Auntie had the best care and most comfortable final days.

The more I learn about cancer the more It occurs to me just how many young people suffer too, recently I discovered that my friend had cancer to which he had an operation to get his thyroid removed, it was crazy for me to hear considering that he is genuinely really healthy and that he is only in his twenties. Luckily he is okay and is now cancer free, but I honestly can’t imagine the pain that he and his family went through. Also in that same week I had discovered that my grandma has got incurable bowel cancer,

I had recently read that you can donate hair to wig making charities, I already knew about this from Jesse J shaving her head and Harry Styles from 1D donating their hair to the “Little Princess Trust” For those who don’t know what this charity is, It is a charity that strives to make real hair wigs for young people who have lost their hair due to chemotherapy. I found that it is a very good idea to do, considering whenever I get my hair cut it just gets wasted and thrown away. I have hair that goes almost halfway down my back, so I have decided , next month I will put my hair into braids and cut them until my hair is chin length. But because the past month has been having people I care about suffering from cancer, I thought I would also have my family round so we can do the “Macmillan Coffee Morning” where you have friends and family come through just as a get together, have some cake and a catch up while also putting money into a box where it can be donated to Macmillan, If anyone is interested in donating money if you have had a family member or even yourself is going through some sort of battle with cancer, the day I’m getting my hair cut I am also thinking of putting a just giving page up in awareness to this and also go into more detail to why this month in particular has been pretty difficult.

Remember you are not alone we can fight this battle together! Much love to you all!

-Kay <3

#FuckCancer BeStrong LittlePrincessTrust Macmillan MarieCurieCancerTrust

The past year

The past year at college has been somewhat difficult, my confidence was at an all time high which was good considering I never thought my a city would get to such a good point after how low I was at high. But this year at college it has been so difficult, don’t only with how hard the course was but also with my emotional issues, this year during my course I have found out I have depression, I try everything I can to ignore it but it’s just something that is there and can’t really do anything about it. One of the subjects I struggled with the most was psychology, it stressed me out so much to the point that I had a mental breakdown and harmed myself twice, one of the times was actually 10 days before my 18th birthday, there was no way I thought I was going to finish it. Now that I have it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I had actually not had an anxiety or panic attack for ages.. Until 2 days ago, I had a huge panic attack during my biology exam, leading to me walking out in a fit of tears (mainly because if you fail one assessment you fail the entire course) since then It is as if I’ve been put into some sort of depressive shock and I can’t seem to shake it off (I don’t think that exists but still) I don’t want to leave my room or face the outside world because I feel like I have failed everyone. I’m sure i will be okay in time, but if I put anything sad up on Twitter or any other social media outlets, that is why. I hope to find some light and happiness soon, it’ll just take time.