***

Kaz Torres 27 (They/Them) Instagram

[killhitleragain]

[slipping-into-madness]

[mariacallous]

#if we had a functional SEC they'd all be in jail for market manipulation and insider trading

[depsidase]

[animentality]

[rioblitzle]

i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

[copepods]

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

[copepods]

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

[lintubintu]

@holyknuckled like that?

[holyknuckled]

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

[lonerslothful]

"military time" do NOT disrespect miss 24hs she would never join the imperialist machine

[thelambliesdown1974]

My mind palace is a well-oiled yaoi machine

[thelambliesdown1974]

Ru Paul’s fracking farm

[kallistoi]

[image description: a reply by demi-chaos that reads, "well my mind is a well-yaoied oil machine. think about that." end description.]

[guerrillatech]

[guerrillatech]

[socialjusticeinamerica]

[bitchesgetriches]

The United States government is literally disappearing people to a gulag with no due process and yet it's the stock market crash that has finally pissed conservatives off.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the other 25% shouldn't be in mega-prison either, btw

[annabelle--cane]

"every possible kind of content can be found on the internet" yeah sure except for the One fucking thing I'm looking for. why does no one want to talk about the One Singular thing I'm looking for. but yeah other than that everything is on here.

[ominouspaperclip]

Is this what you’re looking for perchance?

[annabelle--cane]

it wasn't, but by god it sure is now

[mogblin]

the thing about job searching is i see all these job postings and im like i dont wanna do any of this for any of you

[catchymemes]

[tryan-a-bex]

I didn’t see this in the notes yet. So. If you crash cars with someone. You stop, you pull over to the side if you can, you don’t leave. If someone is hurt or crying, call 911 or your emergency number. Never hurts to get checked out. You write down the other person’s license plate and car make and model and colour, and get their driver’s license number. You write down what happened and how it happened. If you both can drive and no one is hurt you can go after exchanging information (don’t try to agree on what happened. Don’t make deals with the person.)

When you get home, call your car insurance provider. Describe the damage to your car and any injuries and how it happened. They’ll ask for the info I told you to get above.

You’ll probably have to take your car to a registered provider who can get an insurance approved quote for repairs.

See your doctor if you are still shaky after a couple of hours. Whiplash gets worse for the first few days so you might think you’re fine but when the adrenaline wears off, you’re not. Symptoms include headache dizziness nausea as well as neck and back pain.

If you see an accident happen, don’t leave. Be the one to call the emergency number if people are injured or not getting out of their car and walking around. Give your phone number and name to both people or to the emergency providers and expect a call from the insurance company. They’ll ask you to tell them what you saw. Be honest.

Drive safe out there, and be prepared. You can call your dad later and he’ll be so proud of you for handling it.

[viennabybillyjoel-deactivated20]

Now if she does it like this will you do it like that now if she touches like this will you touch her right back now if she moves like this will you move like that come on

[duncebento]

[artisticlesbian]

[orcboxer]

(via @arianwells )

[what-even-is-thiss]

Some people play video games to get the evil out of their systems. Sometimes that evil is directly violent in nature, sometimes it’s white collar crime.

[super-metroid]

cant even hornypost about falin touden bc im just gonna get dozens of people responding with marcille speech bubble image edits

[theirisianprincess]