Basically just my everything blog, mostly dead rn bc i mainly post on my art blog. https://www.tumblr.com/kazkat-draws-the-days
any pronouns! chronic illnesses gets me bitches, cringe culture is dead
SFW, 1900 words. Thank you so much for the commission @em0-snail !
Nearly Foiled
Clearing out the medical facility of ferals had been a relatively easy task for the courier. They had been asked, politely, by Arcade, out of nowhere, if they could scout it out and grab any and all medical supplies they could find since Arcade had “suddenly ran low”. Although Arcade’s disorganization was uncharacteristic, the courier ran with it. Perhaps things had been busy for Arcade lately. The courier made a note to check in on him later.
With a satchel bag filled to the brim with Stimpaks and Radaways, the courier marched on. The sun was blaring and the air was dry, but they had become used to these long treks back to the strip. Someone needs supplies? Head towards some random, abandoned building. Clear it out. Return with said supplies. Repeat. There was comfort in the routine. And the appreciative smile that followed a job well done always left a warmth in their stomach that lingered for days. Especially when it came from a certain someone.
Yes Man, to be exact.
Six waved gently at the Securitrons guarding the gated entrance of the strip as the two heavily armed machines made way for them. Immediately, the courier was met with a sharp and chipper greeting.
“You’re back! That was fast! You’re getting really good at these supply runs,” Yes Man cheered. “I ran a few simulations to calculate how long you’d be gone and settled on approximately 9 hours. You’re back in just 4 hours and 27 minutes!” His voice sounded a little… strange. There was almost a disappointed tone towards the end of that sentence, with a layer of Yes Man’s usual optimism and positivity thinly spread on top.
“There weren’t that many ferals to begin with, really. The windows were all blown out so I was able to snipe most of them from a nearby hill. By the time I actually got inside the facility, there were only two or three left! Piece of cake,” Six’s confident voice told him.
The courier readjusted the satchel bag on their shoulder and took steps to walk around Yes Man and towards home— the Lucky 38 presidential suite.
“Sixer!” Yes Man exclaims as he quickly rolled in front of Six, stopping them in their tracks. “Are you sure you got everything you needed? Might be worth taking another look! Even just one or two more Stimpaks could make all the difference, you never know!”
The courier narrowed their eyes and stared at Yes Man’s facial display screen. His ever-present smiling face stared back, unchanging, but there was an impatient and almost mischievous air irradiating off of him. They leaned close and playfully poked at Yes Man’s chassis.
“...Is there something wrong? How come you want me to leave so badly?”
“What?! I don’t want you to leave! What are you talking about? You know you’re my favorite courier in the whole wide world! I was really looking forward to you coming back, actually!” Yes Man rolled back a little and almost shifted his gaze away from Six. “It’s just that— Arcade really needs fresh supplies, so I just wanted to make sure he was getting everything he needed, that’s all!”
“Well, listen, my satchel can’t hold much else. I also found some intact medical journals and some radio parts that I think could be really useful,” Six says. “If you really want me to, I can go back in a few days and double check everything. Sounds good?”
The courier didn’t wait for a response from Yes Man and, instead, sidestepped him once again and began walking home. Their right shoulder suddenly felt light.
“I’ll take that!” Yes Man said as he grabbed the courier’s satchel bag. “I’ll go ahead and drop this off with Arcade! You must be so tired. Why don’t you grab a drink and I’ll meet up with you in a few minutes?”
A deep sigh escaped Six. They note the erratic behavior and decide to just give in. There’s never been any distrust between Yes Man and Six besides, well, their initial meeting when the courier found out that it was actually Yes Man teamed up with Benny which led to the forehead scar hidden behind a few black strands of hair. Other than that though, things have been smooth sailing, Six thinks. Not only did they work efficiently together to accomplish their goals, but they were able to laugh and chat with each other, as if they had been lifelong friends. It was comfortable. It was safe. It was warm.
“...Okay, fine. I’ll grab a drink and see you in a few,” Six murmured as they walked towards Gomorrah. The courier could almost hear a giggle as Yes Man rolled away.
A few caps lighter, Six nurses a beer at a small table tucked away in the corner. A small sense of loneliness seeped into the back of their mind, imagining a warmer welcome home and possibly some quality time spent together. But instead, they were basically shooed away. The beer is crisp on such a hot day and being out of the sun was at least a relief. They slowly closed their eyes, leaned back, and enjoyed this moment.
“You make relaxing look so… enjoyable,” a pleasantly familiar voice says.
“That was fast,” Six said.
“I’m pretty efficient when it comes to these things, you know,” Yes Man said as he rolled towards the table and stood across from the courier. “Have another one, you deserve it!”
Six eyed their almost empty beer and smiled at Yes Man.
“Sure, sure, if you say so,” Six says as they hold up a finger towards one of the employees. “You know, if I had known that assertiveness upgrade would still make you unwaveringly accommodating towards me, I probably would have opposed the whole idea,” Six said as their smile melted and was replaced with a stoic expression. “Come on, tell me what’s going on.”
“You think just because I want you to relax after a supply run that my assertiveness upgrade has malfunctioned or something?” Yes Man chuckled loudly. “I still have the ability to say ‘no’ to you, you know, even if you are my favorite person.”
“Favorite person? I thought I was just your favorite courier,” Six smiled in a cheeky way.
“Same thing to me!”
A gentle silence passed between them and another beer was brought over to the table.
“Is it… a new camera system in the presidential suite?”
“Nope!” Yes Man said cheerily.
“You painted all the walls— that rusty orange with cream stripes, like we saw on that poster a few weeks ago!”
“Negatory!”
“...You connected Mr. House’s terminal to another super computer and now, the entire suite is stuffed—packed with wires and computer components that ooze out of the walls— and there’s a sentient AI that now calls the suite their home?”
“...No, but I want to read whatever book that gave you that idea!” Yes Man giggled. The courier took a deep breath and swallowed. If they had asked—told— Yes Man to outright tell them what was going on, he would. He cherished the closeness between them and has shown a deep appreciation for being given the freedom and autonomy that no other person has ever granted them. But Six didn’t want to do that. It would break this trust between them—the trust that they had built that told Yes Man that he would never be treated as an assistant AI ever again.
Six cleared their throat and sighed.
“I’ll just let you lead the way, then,” Six said. “Whatever plans you have made for the day, I’ll go along with it. I trust you.”
“Oh-ho-ho, that’s pretty tempting,” Yes Man said mischievously. “Maybe I could boss you around and tell all of the other Securitrons to hunt you down if you don’t do as I say!”
A loud guffaw escaped Six as they nearly choked on their beer.
“Oh, Yes Man, I know there’s a sweet heart inside of that metal frame,” Six said.
“You know me too well!” Yes Man said. “You probably know me better than anyone else. I’m pretty lucky to have someone like you to call my ‘favorite’.” He stared at the courier’s face and a comfortable silence passed them once more. After a few more sips, beer number two was done.
“Welp, time’s up!” Yes Man rolled towards Six’s side.
“...For what?”
“Oh, you’ll see,” Yes Man said as he placed one claw on the back of Six’s chair, pulling out, and offering his other one for help. Six stared at Yes Man’s smiling face and tilted their head to the side in confusion, but gingerly placed their hand in his claw and made their way out of Gomorrah.
Soft, pink clouds covered the sky as the sun began setting. The walk to Lucky 38—to home— was comfortable. Six never let go of Yes Man’s claw after getting up from the table and neither of them had mentioned it. Their fingers wrapped around one of the three prongs, feeling the cool metal against their skin. Yes Man’s towering figure shadowed over them and it was difficult to see his facial display screen—not that it mattered much since his face was always the same, but the courier took comfort in seeing it. Almost as if he could sense Six was staring, Yes Man interrupted the silence.
“I’m not giving you any static shocks, am I?”
“Definitely not,” Six smiled, tightening their grip on the claw just a little bit more.
When the elevator arrived at the presidential suite, Yes Man gently nudged Six to exit first and they were immediately bombarded with a parade of colors before them.
“Surprise!!” shouted out a group of beloved friends. Spreading around the room, Six could see Arcade, Veronica, ED-E and Rex, all showing off a variety of birthday decorations: little paper birthday hats, colorful streamers and handmade fans. Hung across the room was a massive paper banner that read:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIX
They slowly turned towards Yes Man and playfully shoved him.
“So that’s what this has been all about!”
“Believe me, it was so hard keeping all of this a secret! I wanted to tell you so badly!” Yes Man chuckled.
Six jogged down the stairs and greeted all of their friends one by one. Their eyes scanned the room continuously, taking it all in. On a small table, there were beautifully handwrapped presents and what appeared to be a small dessert.
“Hey, could you do us all a favor next time,” Arcade asked. “Be a little slower on the next supply run. I was still cutting up streamers when Yes Man said you were already back.”
“Streamers? I was still hanging up that banner!” Veronica exclaimed. ED-E floated in circles around the room while Rex curled up around Six.
“This is so great, you guys… Whose idea was it?” Six asked.
Arcade and Veronica turned to face Yes Man.
“He rounded us up and handed out jobs,” Arcade said. “It was all so efficient and well-planned— even a simulation for how long you’d be gone.”
“Oh, I’ll be factoring in some more variables in the future so I can get more accurate predictions, don’t you worry!” Yes Man exclaimed.
Six crossed the room and rested a hand against Yes Man’s chassis.
“You have no idea how much this means to me…” their smile softened. “Thank you.”
would biting someone with teeth you haven’t brushed in over a month give them a disease?
follow up question: would anyone actually want to be bitten like that? like i get wow being bitten by vampires fun but like what if their teeth were really yellow and not all that clean?
As far as I know being bit by a human is extremely dangerous no matter what, because we harbor a lot of nasty diseases in our mouths or something, so i imagine extra unwashed teeth would be worse
isn't it so crazy that 51 is divisible by 17. because 51 is such an ugly number that based on vibes alone i would 100% think it's prime 😭😭 like who in the world would even WANT to divide that shit? 17 and 3 i fucking guess...... 🤷
well when all else fails at least there’s daydreaming about your oc getting tortured and abused and experimented on and assaulted and dehumanized and torn apart and surgically modified and
do you think if a courier traveling with yes man pointed at an enemy and said GO MY SCARAB yes man would go On It! or would he be confused . he's a bug . to me. but i don't know if he knows yet.
he's also a crab and my silly lobster but let's not get into that.
i appreciate asexual perverts but they get enough attention tbh. shoutout my asexuals with no hoes boring as hell no kinks no dirty magazines no riske drawings just completely winning the idgaf war
2087
germansingergirl
areudirty
dededos
annaxmalina
