Eh @keeb3906 - Tumblr Blog

hounddogsrunning

hwighting

who is she? what agency is she with?

sidnugget

when did i get this fat

beercanbacon

My boss called me “Tyrone” on accident (My name is Tyrand). She apologized and bought me lunch to make up for it. I didn’t think twice about it, since I’m used to getting called every variant of “Ty-(fill in blank here)”. Then later on I read a quote she keeps in her work area that made me feel kinda special.

“During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say ‘Hello’.”

I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.“

lsdreaminn

This is a very important lesson to learn

hilarioushumorfromouterspace

imactuallynot

BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL!

nube-1-deactivated20210117

northofcorpis

That fuckin smile at the end

bettsplendens

To the worried person in the comments:

No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink, which is a Pokemon that supposedly powers its heart by bouncing, and as such can’t stop moving. Hummingbirds don’t sit often because they’re busy looking for food, but they can and do sit. The females sit on eggs in nests, after all, and they do have to sleep.

sindri42

Fun fact: the leg muscles of a hummingbird are so stripped down to save on weight that they cannot walk. They can step sideways along a branch or other perch, but they cannot go forward without taking flight.

However they absolutely do stop moving. In fact, hummingbirds hibernate! Overnight. Instead of sleeping. Because if they tried to sleep like a normal animal their hyperactive metabolism would mean that they starve to death before breakfast.

Unrelated fun fact: the primary Aztec god of war would take on the form of a hummingbird, and the souls of the bravest warriors were said to turn into hummingbirds in order to join him after death, presumably because every hummingbird is approximately four grams of pure concentrated asskicking which fears no man nor beast and will gladly throw down with somebody seventeen thousand times their size if offended.

ubercharge

this is a really cool post and i love seeing such a small bird but reading “No, a hummingbird’s heart will not stop if it stops moving. You’re possibly thinking of Spoink” killed me

ghostsandgoblins

waluigiology

i just figured out the perfect murder

kill someone and bury them in their own garden

that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide

serinos-kitt

#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them

luisonte

funnylime

why my hand shaky

sundial911

your skeleton is ready to hatch

funnylime

this is so fucking ominous thank you

rednines

In cars two at the airport the cars have to go through tsa checks and take off their wheels and stuff which implies the cars Universe had a 9/11

glasseschain-deactivated2023052

Wait. Oh my god. But planes are sentient in the cars universe. Did cars hijack the plane or did the planes fly themselves.

rednines

Nobody knows

lady-kaede-deactivated20181029

Buddy they have car pope. A car jesus died on a car cross and we’re worried if car bush did car 9/11

tastefullyoffensive

(via DrMassicotte)

adapto

royoftheyear

Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. This singlehandedly saved 2017