kei

20+ |🇵🇭 | she/they | ♎︎☼♊︎☾ ♎︎↑ | INTP | genderflux aroaceflux lesbian | LEGGO (EXID stan) since 2015 | i like plushies, collecting merches and figures of my favorite anime, and learning facts about history and astrology

[thedaygoesupinflames]

you see a character that's afraid of commitment, i see a beautiful and misunderstood aromantic

[aromanticofficial]

official aromantic post

[autiebiographical]

Absolutes? Only Sith deal in absolutes! (Yes, I know that's an absolute statement)

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is not knowing how to spell amananormativity

and spell check isnt helpful either :(

you were super close!

amatonormativity

amato - norma - tivity

(you can use this to add it to your spell checks!)

[watercolormagicalgirl]

having undiagnosed autism as like an elementary schooler is like “hi!!!! i love everyone and want everyone to be my friends!!!! :D” and then everyone is really fucking mean to you constantly for reasons you can’t even begin to comprehend

[autiebiographical]

Apparently hyperfixations aren't okay, unless they're deemed appropriate by society. Being obsessed with anime was bad 20 years ago, but is perfectly fine now! Go figure!

Of course there are going to be hyperfixations that aren't okay, that can lead to actual harm in one way or another, but I doubt my Star Wars obsession is hurting anyone.

[autiebiographical]

If someone says they loved their teen years I automatically assume they're neurotypical. I don't know a single neurodivergent person who wasn't traumatized by those years.

[rhynee]

people who dont experience it cannot comprehend how awful executive dysfunction is. I WANT to do the task, i have the resources TO do the task, i will feel better having DONE the task

but i cant fucking do the task

[toruandmidori]

[insidestory1]

I'm going to use a version of this next time someone asks me how I ended up autistic.

[learn-how-to-love]

I just think it’s weird when folks act like trans and cis men are equally complicit in perpetuating misogyny in our society when like. No I’m pretty sure the number of trans men and mascs listening to Andrew Tate and manosphere podcasts, advocating for dismantling reproductive rights and talking about restoring Traditional Gender Roles™️ are likely so few as to be basically imperceptible. I think it’s actually way more likely that a cis WOMAN would do those things before a trans man would because (and I know this will shock many) misogyny isn’t an inherent part of manhood but is, instead, a learned behavior that anyone can perpetuate, especially those who exist within the bounds of cishetperisex society. Which trans men do not.

[autiebiographical]

I'm so bad with this. I'll recognize an actor, but can't let it go until I find out what I've seen them in. Obviously I never do this in a theatre.

[keithelibra]

[melancholicvnt]

i honestly cannot fathom someone liking me. im always convinced everyone either doesn’t like me or has some ulterior motive for pretending they like me. it’s just Not Possible

[cemeteryhound]

I hate to be all whiny and sad and be the annoying self loathing person, but having persistent depressive disorder basically means that I'm eating well, sleeping well, doing exercise, hanging out with friends, yet every time it feels something is missing and people around me are getting something I just can't have and don't understand because is far away from me.

It's exhausting to live doing stuff with the hope that's the thing that will finally make you feel alive, at peace, fulfilled! Only to discover that you finished and it meant nothing. You feel nothing.

[cakemadeofbacon]

“We need more aroace rep” you guys couldn’t even handle Jesus Christ

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

how do i know if past experiences were romantic attraction or just admiration/hyperfixations/platonic attraction? i've been with my partner for ages so it's been a while since i felt ~like that~ and it's kinda hard to remember. i grew up with trauma so i know i have a thing where i massively cling to people which i previously thought was romantic attraction but i'm not sure anymore? because it was never like i wanted to be physically close with them, build a life with them etc. the way i want with my partner. it was more vague if that makes sense? i wanted people's attention and also almost had some kind of jealousy when they wouldn't give it to me, but i like never wanted to kiss them or anything. i don't even know what i wanted, if i even wanted to be their friend or if i was just lonely af. my partner started off that way too though, until we bonded in a mutual way and my feelings for him shifted into something more specific where i *did* want to build a life with him. like is that initial hyperfixation stage just an earlier kind of romantic attraction and could have developed into something deeper had i there been a mutual bond, or was it something else and i truly only ever felt romantic attraction to my partner and romantic attraction is only that "something deeper"?? since being with my partner i had those fixations on other people and it does feel different to how i feel about my partner like... but from what i understand infatuation is the first stage of romantic attraction? i'm confused. how i feel about him is definitely romantic but i'm trying to figure out if i'm alloromantic or greyromantic or maybe demiromantic. it's especially hard because the "symptoms" of a crush are also like the same as social anxiety which i also have lol

Yeah, it can be legitimately hard to tell. We tend to categorize attraction and feelings into these neat little boxes, but it's not always experienced that way. It can sometimes be hard to decipher our own emotions. For romantic attraction, one big defining characteristic is that it should feel romantic in some way. Which isn't always the most helpful thing when you're not sure what romance feels like, but generally it's situational. You want to be in romantic situations with the person you're attracted to, so maybe that's a relationship defined as romantic, maybe that's romantic situations like romantic dates or growing old together or building a life together, etc. But it's something you personally see as romantic, and that you want to do or experience with the other person.

You're right that it is very easy to mistake other things like other types of platonic attraction or anxiety or other types of strong feelings for romantic attraction, especially when we're told as a culture to interpret a lot of these things as romantic, but if that specific romantic element of wanting to be in a romantic situation/do romantic things specifically isn't there, then more likely it's not romantic.

That said, these things can be somewhat subjective and not everyone experiences romance and romantic feelings in the same way. So it can be up to interpretation to a certain point. So don't be afraid to go with your gut and what feels right when determining how to interpret your feelings, rather than thinking of it as being one right answer you have to uncover.

The other thing is that not everyone experiences strong infatuation as the beginning of romantic attraction. It can go that way, but sometimes it is a slow buildup like you describe above too.

All the best, Anon! Good luck!

[ch3rryzzzzz]

Yes, Aros can date.

Yes, Aces can fuck

Yes, some aro/aces want to do these things

SOME DONT

Respect ace peoples identities because they’re identities worth respecting not because they can fuck/date or ‘write the best smut’

The whole point is that we also don’t want to be defined by these things we usually don’t do

-your local fully ace and demiro

[nondivisable]

me carrying a stuffed animal around while being disabled is not "infantilizing disability"

I am an actually disabled person who carries a stuffed animal as comfort bc disability is hard

what's "infantilizing disability" is assuming that just bc I carry a stuffed animal I'm not capable of making decisions for myself. or that having a stuffed animal makes me a less serious, adult person than you are.