reminder that Gregor Samsa’s first thought to his kafkaesque metamorphosis was “aw shit I still have to go to work”
I’m sorry did you just refer to the metamorphosis in the book Metamorphosis written by Franz Kafka as “Kafkaesque”

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Stranger Things
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Not today Justin
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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@kelcioddle
reminder that Gregor Samsa’s first thought to his kafkaesque metamorphosis was “aw shit I still have to go to work”
I’m sorry did you just refer to the metamorphosis in the book Metamorphosis written by Franz Kafka as “Kafkaesque”
Josie: I bet you’re wondering why I called you in today.
Josie: It’s because we need to have a discussion about how some people in this room aren’t getting along with other people in this room.
Lizzie: Why are you being so vague? Landon and I are the only ones here.
Lizzie: Hope, it’s too dangerous to go alone, here take this-
Hope: You’re just holding out your hand.
Lizzie: Exactly.
Cleo: So is this thing between Hope and Lizzie supposed to be a secret?
Jed: Hardly. The only people who don’t know Lizzie loves Hope are Lizzie and Hope.
pick from weirdly specific things pertaining to my life & i’ll tell you what character archetype you are
pretentious art hoe/musician/theater kid/writer
this needs no description
tired of hearing about how saturn is the most fuckable planet just because it has the most rings. jupiter is clearly the most fuckable planet, and trust me, i’ve already heard your “oh the great red spot is an std” jokes, and i don’t care. and btw, the logistics of fucking the rings of a planet don’t make any sense. have fun trying to put your dick through a bunch of jagged rocks and ice, you piece of shit
this is like one of the best posts i’ve seen on tumblr and let me tell you why
“tired of hearing about” posts that then go on to delineate something i have literally never heard anyone talking about are hilarious
the idea of trying to rank the planets as fuckable is absurd
huffy “i don’t care”
nitpicking the logistics of something impossible
horrible mental image
ends very angrily
members of Congress seem to wear masks with sports logos a lot. they should have masks with logos of the companies who give them money, that way we know who owns them. like NASCAR drivers.
just a friendly reminder that this type of rhetoric is misleading, (in my opinion, slightly antisemitic) and not the way to go about fighting religious homophobes.
religious jews still follow these laws. we dont wear clothes that have a blend of wool & linen (laws of shatnez). fresh produce in israel follows all of the agricultural laws outlined in the torah. as for some of the other laws i always see referenced: we don’t eat shellfish or pork or anything prohibited by the torah. clean-shaven men will only ever use electric razors never blades. we don’t work on the sabbath, we observe the sanctioned holy days, we believe in, love and fear God and obey God’s commandments.
personally, i find the rhetoric harmful and insulting for three reasons. one, it only works on the (very christian) premise that the torah is outdated, and that ~nobody in their right mind~ would follow those laws anymore. two, it tends to ignore the fact that lgbtq+ orthodox jews exist and have to live through the struggle of being lgbtq+ and observant, despite community backlash, severe judgement and institutionalised homophobia. and three, it gives homophobia-masked-as-religious-observance some sort of legitimacy because yeah, the rest of those laws are kept in varying degrees by millions of people.
don’t fight homophobes by saying ‘look at all of these other ridiculous laws’ – those laws matter to a lot of people, including me, a jewish lesbian. instead, say ‘do not stand idly by your fellow’s blood (leviticus 19:16)’, ‘whoever humiliates another in public forfeits their place in the World to Come (avot 3:11), ‘one shall not say to a person words that hurt them or cause them pain against which they cannot stand (sefer hachinuch, mitzvah 338)’, ‘do not do to others that which you would not wish them to do to you. this is the whole Torah; the rest is commentary (gemara shabbat 31a)’, and what is perhaps one of my favorite verses in tanach, ‘to what is good and just is more preferable to God than sacrifice (proverbs 21:3)’.
oh, and here’s a good starting point for educating your religious friends and family members.
I love this information because I never would have thought of this in a Christian centric nation that these things would be disrespectful to Jewish people but it so obviously is and I hate I didn’t realize it before
Not diagnosing a child doesn't mean they won't notice they're different. It just means that instead of thinking "I'm struggling because I have autism/adhd/anxiety/depression/schizophrenia", they will just conclude that they are struggling because they are stupid, weak, annoying, unlovable, etc.
Thinking about how Oscar Isaac doesn’t use his full name so he isn’t typecasted as a Latino drug dealer only to have Disney make his Latino character have a a drug dealer past in episode 9
this is LITERALLY the funniest promotional piece that anyone has ever made for a tv show or movie ever
The best part is the story behind it. After Edgar Wright stormed off the project, this movie almost got canceled. It took Peyton Reed literally finishing it with his crew in a single year, and Paul Rudd contributing on the writing to get it done within the deadline. And apparently, because they had to rush production ON a reduced budget no less, the effects weren’t even close to done by the time they had to put out Trailers and TV spots, and most of what was finished, or near done, had to be used in the theatrical spots. So Rudd and Douglas here supposedly came up with this idea, on the spot, as it would at least get people talking and avoid reusing too many of the same shots.
They accidentally hit the precise vein of our generation’s comedy
This is one of my favorite clips of anything ever
I’ve had this same dilemma too many times
"I loved her to the point of invention" is extremely fucking raw and I adore it.
Based on the funniest fucking anon ask I’ve ever seen on this site
For the people wanting to see the original ask
Thank you I was looking for that omg ahsjjsksksksk
Podcast where every week someone different interviews me, and if they ask something I've answered before, they get Nickelodeon slimed, so episode one is like, "Where are you from? What's your favorite color?" but episode one-hundred is like, "How many birds would you estimate you saw on the family vacation to Yellowstone you took when you were seven?" and they still get slimed.
This post is only mildly funny by virtue of the fact that it takes place in a world where I'm capable of answering questions.