“It’s not that your idea is stupid, it’s simply unfounded that using an owl to find a killer just by writing their name and tracking it to it’s location. Very few cases are that easy Rookie,” the older man snapped at her, Katie bit her lip and nodded her head, unable to actually speak against her superior. She kept in pace with him for a few more minutes before he sighed, “We could however give it a shot, but first, those,” he nodded to the stacks of paper in hand, “need to get to the accounting department. After your done you can take your lunch break, well closer to closing time and you have been here since four am. Hop to Rookie, we’ll need you back soon, know one knows concealing charms like you in the Department.” The man, Collin Port, left still muttering to himself about the imbeciles they worked with. It had been a full year of streamlined training through the Auror Program, in order to work with the Stealth Division. Port picked himself off of the recommendation of few professors and her own want to prove herself, now she was a few months into her first job but the lackey of the group, getting coffee, running papers, watching older aurors test her in the field and ask her random questions or her thoughts to make sure the fist was perfect. It was grueling, she started at 5am and kept going until they left her leave which could be close to midnight. Personally Katie was happy with her job though, even if she had a dwindling pepper up potion supply and a new addiction to caffeine. Her supervisor Mr. Port told her that ever auror developed some addiction or another to deal with the job at hand; caffeine, coffee, cigarettes, calming potions. It came hand in hand with the job.
Which was why Katie right now was rushing to get these papers downstairs, through the guest lobby where it was less likely she’d be stopped by each floor’s department head asking who she was, even if she wore the Auror uniform. However the small ex-Gryffindor, was too busy moving through the crowd that she didn’t notice the person coming her way, until they collided and the papers were flying, Katie cursing under her breath between apologies and grabbing and summoning papers to her with her wand. Port would ream her ass if she didn’t get all of these documents down to accounting, he hated dealing withe Ministry bureaucracy anymore than he had to. Until she noticed a hand holding out a few papers and she turned her head and broke into a smile, “What the fuck! First sorry, second what the fuck, third hey!” Katie pushed the papers into a pile then launched herself and wrapped them into a hug, a massive grin breaking over her face. She was aware how childish she looked, at 19 in aurors robes and uniform sitting in the guest lobby hugging them, but she didn’t really care.
It had been a day of trials, testing Keller’s thin patience to the point of almost breaking - he could have been a saint and still been on a knife’s edge by the time it hit his lunch break. Not only were their stocks of medicinal potions severely depleted - no thanks to the third floor Plant Poisoning department - but they were short staffed and, somehow, overrun with patients who had all bought dodgy wands from a dealer in Dublin. Patients had been flying in all morning, and Keller hadn’t had a chance to breathe, let alone eat, so with the most severe cases under control and the rest being handled by his fellow Healers, he bowed out for a break.
He had never quite understood the reasoning for connecting St. Mungo’s to the Ministry; it seemed unnecessary and, perhaps, a little unhygienic - but today he was grateful for the distraction. With his head still back in the ward he’d just come from, mentally running through his patient’s charts and what he would need to attend to first upon his return, he collided with something - someone - at around shoulder height. Blinking down, he saw brown hair and Auror robes, and without hesitation dropped to one knee to begin collecting their papers, which were now strewn around the lobby thanks to his carelessness. It wasn’t until they looked up, however, just as Keller was about to apologise that he realised he’d accidentally bumped into a familiar face -- “Merlin,” he murmured, suddenly finding himself launched into a hug, her small arms wrapping around him. It seemed like she hadn’t grown much since they’d last saw one another, Keller thought with a smile.
“Hey yourself,” Keller said, patting her back gently, as though she were an over-excited golden retriever he needed to be careful with. “New job?” he queried, pulling back to get a better look at her robes. “Aren’t you a bit young to be serving and protecting our fine world? Not that you wouldn’t be great, but-- they do know you’re still a teenager, right?” It was all in jest, Keller’s light teasing how happy he actually felt to have run into Katie again; it ignited some nostalgic part of him that he suppressed these days, too busy to dwell on the thoughts of what had happened in the past. But seeing her, in the flesh and looking healthy, made him feel proud - even if so much had gone wrong, at least they could say that they’d lived through it together.
Walking back into Hogwarts for the first time since leaving was – odd.
Difficult.
Beautiful.
Keller breathed in nostalgia and exhaled the pain of the past that he’d been holding onto in some dark recess at the bottom of his lungs. Years had passed – literal years, full of experiences that came with their joys and sorrows – but the most important of them had been spent away from Hogwarts, learning how to live outside of the stone walls that had held him for so long. The one thing that the school never teaches a young witch or wizard is how to survive in the real world. Sure, they teach a spell for every use and occasion – Keller could conjure a bird from a pet store in Africa if he needed to – but what use was that in the real world, one full of mundane struggles of perpetual exhaustion and the routines of waking up and working, to coming home and sleeping? Keller struggled more with those things than he ever did with the things that lurked at Hogwarts – because at least he’d had friends around him to assist, if he should ever need them.
But things out there – where the sun shines harder and the wind blows fiercer – are more solitary. Keller’s nothing but one man in a crowd that don’t care that he was Head Boy or that his favourite subject was astronomy. They don’t care that Keller has scars that line his back, and they definitely don’t care that making it to that very day and moment in time was a struggle with the very demons that he’d internalised as a boy. Keller’s just a face among faceless people, soon to blur into the nothingness of their short term memory. And yet – walking into Hogwarts brings back the rush of belonging that he’d felt as a boy; the knowledge that the world could reject him and forget him, but Hogwarts would always embrace him back into its fold. Hogwarts was forever.
Swallowing thickly around the lump of emotion caught in his throat – one that was probably full of that sickeningly sweet nostalgia – Keller adjusted his grip on the leather satchel that he wore strung over his shoulder and kept walking. The archways were familiar and yet simultaneously strangers; he could remember sitting there, on the low stone walls, eating a sandwich and reading, but now they held young students who were not familiar to Keller – they housed others, now, and he was barred from reliving that.
The path to the Great Hall was short, and Keller walked there by route of mind, pausing outside the tall, wooden doors and listening to the murmurs from within.
“Mr. Murphy!” came a call from the other end of the hallway, and he looked over his shoulder to see a familiar face. Weathered by time and age and the sun, but the same nonetheless – Professor Elloway had aged well, his hair still long and tucked behind his ear on one side. “Punctual, as always.”
Keller beamed, walking forward to greet his old professor. They embraced when close enough, Keller attempting to fold into his arms like he would’ve when a teenager, but now finding he didn’t quite fit in the same way. His shoulders too broad and height too pronounced – the feeling was the same, though; that same feeling of protection washing over him. Back when he was a boy, Professor Elloway had been the only one that Keller had trusted – he’d spend afternoons in the high office located in the Ravenclaw Tower, sipping tea and talking with the older man. Keller had had his own father in his life, of course, but it wasn’t what others had – in his stead, he had Professor Elloway. In the years since graduating, he’s mending the burnt bridges with his father, but seeing his old professor is just as satisfying as that.
“I learned from the best,” Keller tells him with a smile, feeling Professor Elloway clap him warmly on the back. “Are they in there?”
“Yes,” Elloway says, pulling back and holding Keller by the shoulders at arm’s length. “You look good. Hair’s long.”
Keller ducks his head, reaching up to feel the bun knotted at the back of his head. “Learned that from the best, too,” he replies, giving Elloway’s long hair a pointed look before laughing. “Fiona isn’t a fan, however.”
“Ah! How is she? How are the kids?”
They begin walking away from the Great Hall’s closed doors and through the hallways, Keller registering that Elloway’s taking him to the staff entrance to the Hall, which is interesting, especially when he still feels like a kid receiving special privileges.
“They’re all well, going great, really,” he says, beaming happily at the chance to discuss his family. “Both Nolan and Adara have presented – won’t be long before Will does, too, I presume.” Keller looks to Elloway, whose smiling, full of pride. “I actually had Will ask me the other day if I think he’ll be in Ravenclaw.”
Elloway nods sagely. “Kids often worry they’ll disappoint their parents if they aren’t sorted into their parent’s alma mater, but I’m sure he’s got nothing to worry about. From your letters, he sounds very bright.”
“He is,” Keller enthuses. “Really, he’s – he’s ahead of the muggle children at his day care, though he’s really outgrown it, so we tend to teach him from home.”
“And Adara?” asks Elloway, holding the door open for Keller to walk through. “How is she?”
“More my temperament despite looking like Fiona,” he replies. “Can’t be found without a book in her hands.”
“Isn’t Nolan coming soon?”
Keller nods. “Another year.”
The murmuring of the school can be heard again, this time from the other side of a wall. Keller looks around the small teacher’s common room they’ve entered, which is full of soft armchairs and a buffet table containing tea and a plate of scones. A fire crackles against a wall, but it’s otherwise empty.
“Are you thinking Ravenclaw as well?” Professor Elloway asks, hip resting against the back of an armchair and his arms folded over his deep purple robe. “Taking after his namesake?”
“I’m not sure,” Keller laughs, thinking of his best friend. “Maybe – though he definitely seems to have inherited Fiona’s Gryffindor side. A little bit wild at times, sometimes more than I can handle.”
“He’s at that age, don’t worry,” Elloway says, waving a hand and pushing off from the chair to walk toward the door. “They’re not hard to handle on their own, but when you put them in a group…”
He opens the door and Keller peers through, seeing the long tables of the Great Hall lined with students.
“… That’s when you need to be a little worried.”
Keller feels anxiety rolling his stomach, but he pushes through – he’s not one of them, anymore; he’s got nothing to fear from walking out there.
“Ready?” Professor Elloway asks, looking back over his shoulder at Keller, who nods, and allows the older man to lead the way out to the stage and podium that’s been set up.
A hush falls over the collected group. They’re fifth, sixth, and seventh years that have been called into a careers meeting, of sorts – Elloway had advertised it as one part motivational, two parts careers, and Keller really had questioned what he could possibly say on either subject. But, Elloway had insisted, and Keller really did owe him for all of the encouragement he’d given to him, so he’d agreed. Now, however, standing in front of a hundred or so expecting faces, Keller was wondering if he regretted that decision.
“Good morning,” he says, voice ringing out louder than he expects across the Hall, and he places his satchel on the ground and straightens. He can do this. “My name’s Keller – Keller Murphy – and I’m a Hogwarts alumni. Not so long ago, I was sitting right where you are – probably wondering why I was having to sacrifice my time to listen to some person tell me their life story and probably get paid for it.”
There’s a smattering of laughs, and Keller feels slightly emboldened.
“Truth is, I don’t really know if I’m qualified to talk to students about my life and give advice about theirs, and maybe that’s why I’m being asked to speak to you. Because I don’t mind admitting that I don’t know what I’m doing – I never did, not really. I made a lot of it up as I went, searching for the path that would actually put me on the track to my dream job and dream life, but the reality is that things are always going to throw those plans out the window. Life has a way of screwing us over, and the trick is learning how to roll with the punches.”
It feels good, Keller thinks, to say it – to admit that everything isn’t always okay. He looks around at the stained glass windows and the sunshine that streams through, wondering if he’d ever properly noticed when at school.
“I currently work as a Healer at St. Mungo’s in London,” he continues, looking back at the students. “A job that requires me to be able to think on my feet, because someone’s life could literally depend on it. It’s not easy, but I’ve always loved a good challenge – something that I’m sure my fellow Ravenclaws will appreciate,” and he nods to the group huddled at the Ravenclaw table, clad in navy and bronze. They give a small cheer and applaud, faces lighting up that they’re being spoken to by someone of their own kind. “But challenges arise in every job,” Keller says when they’ve quieted, looking at each table in turn. “Being a wizard is about learning to navigate challenges and find the spell to make it work for you. No two people’s approaches will be identical, because no two people are identical – which is why me talking to you, here and now, is an exercise in self-awareness. Soon enough you’ll be out there, in the wizarding world, and you’ll be asked to find a path that you want to take. You can’t look to those around you to help you make that decision – you need to make it for yourself.”
He pauses for impact, looking at the students to see some scared, apprehensive faces, while others looked determined and ready, as though they would leap out the very windows and tackle it then if they could.
“I don’t want to preach to you for an hour, because that wouldn’t be very fun, nor do I want to tell you my sob story because that might be very dull indeed,” he says, laughing at himself as he moves out from behind the podium and descends the few steps to sit on the bottom one. “I thought we could use this time to ask questions, if you have them. Questions about the world beyond the castle walls – banking, taxes, wizarding rules and laws, how houses are masked by magic, magical communities, I don’t know. I just want you to have some time to ask things that you’re unsure of that could actually make a difference for you when you graduate, because Merlin knows I didn’t have this opportunity when I was your age, and I think it might’ve made me less scared about leaving.”
The students seem surprised but not unopposed, and the Ravenclaws lead the change in seating by standing up and moving to the wide expanse of wood flooring before Keller. They sit with crossed legs, ties loose around their necks and robes opened at the front. The other tables move with more hesitation, but settle around the Ravenclaws, some intermingling to sit beside their friends. Keller smiles, brushing his palms along his thighs and looking around.
may your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground
Though the morning was bright and new, with the sun struggling – but ultimately succeeding – in breaking out from behind the clouds that threatened to swallow it up, Keller felt so far away from the clear and sunny world he was sitting in. It always came on him during the best moments of his life – the ones that should’ve been simple and filled with happiness; the ones that should’ve become life-long memories filled with laughter that he could call up during the darker times. But the creeping darkness that lived within him was not one he could easily scoop out and throw away; the memories were part of him, even after all the years that had passed in peace.
Sometimes even the smallest of things could trigger a chain reaction of memories that replayed themselves so realistically in his mind that it was impossible to separate reality from fantasy. A child’s scream of joy could, to Keller’s ear, sound like desperate scream of someone lying in a pool of their own blood on the cold, hard streets of London. The bark of a neighbouring dog was far too easily associated with the growls and snarling of werewolves as they closed in upon humans indiscriminately. There were times when even the smells that surrounded Keller triggered a memory – cutting his finger by accident sent him spiralling back to being dragged down by a werewolf, the last thing he saw being Fiona pulled away by Nolan. Sometimes Keller could be in those memories for only a few seconds, but they felt like lifetimes – an entire century where he would he crawling for his life, hands soaked with blood, stepping over a minefield constructed out of dead bodies. These were the things that stuck to Keller that he couldn’t shake off – things that haunted him when his eyes were open, yes, but even more so when they were closed.
The years between that moment and the present had slipped by far too quickly; he’d been but a teenager when he’d received the scars that he’d carry on his shoulder for a lifetime. Now, he was grown up – he’d always felt mature for his age, but in hindsight, he’d known so little of life and what it would entail. His world back then had consisted of a poor home, struggling for money, books, and magic – beautiful magic that could revolutionise the world, given the chance. But now, years on, he’d learned more; he’d done more; he was more capable of dealing with the things that life threw at him, rather than the self-destructive mess he’d once been. Keller knew that, logically, he couldn’t have gotten to the point he was at then if he hadn’t have gone through all he did when he was a teenager. Dealing with the mountain of regrets he had was a work in progress, but every day when Keller pulled on his robes and clocked into work at St. Mungo’s, another tiny piece was removed from the pile. He was earning his penance by helping others, and maybe, it would be enough.
The air was so crisp and clear that it almost burned Keller’s lungs when he breathed it in, and it helped a little at clearing the cobwebs of the past that he’d been focusing on, but his eyes were still unfocused, glazed over as his mind’s eyes flickered through a selection of memories. Rolling down hills with Katie, sitting on top of the Ravenclaw tower with Nolan, cigarettes in hand, talking with Olivia and distinctly feeling less alone, joining the Tall and Terrific club with Tyler, even though Keller had been sure there was nothing terrific about himself. And Fiona – Fiona, scattered through a thousand Hogwarts memories throughout the years – holding her hand for the first time as they wandered the castle at night, their first kiss in the greenhouse after almost dying, running and laughing and talking and lying together in silence; there were a thousand – a million – moments that they’d shared until they’d evolved from Keller and Fiona to KellerandFiona.
“Dad!”
Fiona’s eyes – the sharpest blue, staring into his own dull brown – were a constant, ingrained forever until she was a part of Keller, no matter where he went or what he did.
“Daddy!”
Keller blinked away the haze that had settled over his eyes to come back to the present.
“Daddy, wake up.”
“I’m up, I’m up,” he said, blinking again before rubbing his eyes under his glasses. “What’s up, monkey?”
“I want to use the swing but Will won’t get off.”
Keller looked down at Adara, her eyes the same, clear blue as Fiona’s, and he smiled – her pout reminded Keller of when Fiona was mad, too. “Let’s go see what the problem with sharing is then, hey?”
Adara raised her arms up so that Keller would bend and lift her, settling her on his hip as he walked across the playground, scattered with other people’s kids, all running about and giggling happily. The swingset, a metal contraption that Keller could remember being the exact same when he was a boy, was occupied by three kids – two that Keller didn’t know, and one by a thin boy that he knew all too well.
“He’s being mean today,” Adara was saying to Keller as they walked closer, still out of earshot of the boy. “He said I’m going to be in Slytherin.”
At that, Keller laughed and rubbed his daughter’s back. “Even if you are in Slytherin, then there’s nothing wrong with that,” he said soothingly. “Your Uncle Tyler was in Slytherin, and he’s not so bad, is he?”
Adara shrugged noncommittally. “I want to be in Gryffindor.”
“The odds are in your favour, love,” Keller said, leaving it at that as they reached Will. A thin boy with messy, brown hair and the same brown eyes as Keller, it was difficult not to tell that they were father and son. A boy of ten, Will was at the age where he was experimenting with recklessness – fights at primary school were becoming a weekly occurrence, which only emphasised the similiarities between father and son.
“I’m not leaving,” Will snapped when Keller paused beside the swing set. “She’s had her turn already.”
Frowning, Keller placed Adara back on the soft sand of the playground. “How about you go and play on the slide, monkey?” She looked hesitant but after sticking her tongue out at Will, ran along all the same. “What’s going on, Will?” Keller asked, leaning against the pole of the swing set with his arms folded, trying to sound his most dad-like, even though he knew he was severely out of his depth when it came to parenting – and had been for the last ten years.
“Nothing, okay?” Will dropped off the swing (despite his previous assertion he wouldn’t leave) and started to trudge away from Keller, but his small legs couldn’t power through the sand as fast as Keller’s could, and he caught up easily.
They walked side by side until they reached the grass, when Keller placed a hand on Will’s shoulder and steered him toward one of the benches away from the rest of the kids and watching parents. He went willingly, sitting down on the wood moodily, determinedly not looking at Keller.
There was no hurry to Keller, so he sat in equal silence next to Will, watching Adara race up the stairs to take her turn on the slippery dip, throwing her arms up as she flew down, giggling happily when she fell off the bottom and into the sand, undoubtedly loading a tonne of it in her shoes and clothes that Keller would be finding for weeks.
“It’s not fair,” Will said after a few minutes of heavily silence.
Keller didn’t say anything, but he inclined his head slightly so that Will knew he was listening.
“I have to go away in a few months and she gets to stay here.”
Looking across at his son properly, Keller wished that he could read people’s minds so that he could understand them. They were alike – probably too much, if Fiona’s worry over Will was anything to go by – but that didn’t give Keller any insight into what Will was feeling. He had been angry and caustic for around a year now; his interest in school flagged and the fights increased. Fiona and Keller didn’t know what to do – they’d tried talking to him, but Will was just as good as Keller as closing himself off when he didn’t want others to know what the problem was, and it made Keller add another regret to the mountain he worked so hard to clear.
“You don’t want to go to Hogwarts?” Keller asked, a tiny sting of hurt spreading through his chest at the thought of their children despising magic.
“No-… yes-… I don’t know,” Will said, staring hard at the playground. “I want to learn magic, but I don’t want to leave home. You and mum.” Then in a low voice, he added, “Adara.”
Keller tried to smother his smile as he put his arm around Will’s bony shoulders. “But you’ll be with Nolan at school, won’t that be nice?” he said, trying to look on the bright side of it. “Plus, your mother and I will write to you loads – so much that you’ll probably get sick of hearing from us.” Will was still pouting unhappily. “And, when you leave in September, it’s only a few months til you can come home for Christmas – when you split the year up into smaller sections, it’s really not that long at all.”
“I guess so,” Will admitted, and then he shifted slightly and looked up at Keller, looking sadder somehow. “What if I’m not in Ravenclaw?”
“Why would that matter? Nolan’s in Gryffindor, and we love him just the same – you don’t have to get into any particular house, Will.”
“Yeah, but, like…” Will trailed off and bit his lip. “If I get into Slytherin or Hufflepuff, it won’t be the same. I won’t be like you.”
Keller wanted to tell him that he shouldn’t want to be like Keller, but it sounded too harsh, and too complex, for a ten year old to fully understand just yet. “What matters is that you’re like you,” Keller said instead, squeezing Will’s shoulder. “You need to be who you are meant to be, and if Hufflepuff or, yes, even Slytherin, are going to help you be that person, then me and mum are going to love you for that.”
Will’s eyebrows furrowed before he nodded once, seeming to accept and understand what Keller had said. “So you won’t disown me if I’m a Slytherin?”
“No chance, you’re stuck with us, I’m afraid,” Keller replied, smiling properly now, and watching as one spread across Will’s face slowly, too. “Alright?”
“Yeah,” Will said, still grinning.
“Good, now,” Keller let go of Will and pointed to where Adara was hanging upside down off the monkey bars. “Go apologise to your sister and tell her you’ll push her on the swing.”
Though he groaned, Will slid off the bench and waded back through the sand to where Adara was, and after a silent exchange, together they walked to the swing set, back to being the best of friends.
Keller watched them as Will pushed her higher and higher, trying to remember the last time he’d felt like that – invincible and free and young – and it came crashing back in flickers of moments over the course of his lifetime. The times of laughter with his friends at Hogwarts, the time he had ridden a broom with Nolan, the wind in his hair; the moment of marrying Fiona; holding all three of his children for the first time. He’d come far from the times of Hogwarts, and though he had more than a few regrets to atone for, Keller knew he wouldn’t have changed a thing.
WHO: Keller and Fiona.
WHERE: Romania.
WHEN: three years after Keller's graduation; two years after Fiona's. Set during the weekend.
The halls were practically overflowing with people just as the morning was starting to break. Sun, weak but promising, was sliding through the cracks in the blinds and curtains that adorned the hallways of St. Mungo's hospital for magical maladies, and Keller couldn't quite remember the night passing so quickly. His sixteen hour shift was finally over, but it seemed that the magical maladies were only just beginning: new patients were being levitated into the ward on hospital beds every other minute, and if Keller had been a first year intern again, he would have felt overwhelmed with anxiety and guilt at the prospect of leaving. But this was his third year of working at St. Mungo's: now, he left every shift content with the knowledge that he'd done the best he could and when he walked out the double doors, he soothed his conscience with the thought that he was leaving needy and sick patients in the more than capable hands of other Healers. Grabbing his messenger bag from his office and slinging it over his shoulder, Keller exchanged a few words with his friends before slipping out quietly, his lime green Healer's robes catching the sun streaming through the windows, even more strongly now as the morning marched on.
Taking the elevator down to the Ministry of Magic, Keller kept his head ducked low, each footstep picking up pace at the prospect of what he was heading toward: home. Using a fireplace that was free, he Floo'd to the nearest wizard-friendly check point to his home, which was a beautiful tavern in the countryside that was something of a peaceful retreat for creative-minded witches and wizards who saw the nature and open skies as inspiring. Nodding once to the owner - a round-faced middle-aged woman who always had a cat in her arms - Keller ducked out of the tavern and into the bright morning. Though Keller would sometimes take the time to walk home, he had something of a plan for that weekend, one which didn't involve wasting any time, and he apparated straight onto his doorstep, unlocking it quickly and slipping inside. It was cool and calm, quiet and still, and Keller sighed at the feeling of familiarity that swept over him. The walls weren't fully painted, and there were still boxes littering the corners and hallways, but it was a promising start, and soon enough, it would be complete -- it was just missing Fiona. The thought of her made Keller's heart pick up and he immediately started puttering around the house, peeling off his St. Mungo's robes and pulling on plain clothes instead, then moving to his overnight bag. Atlas, now fully grown, was lying in a patch of sunlight in the lounge room, and Keller quickly scooped him up and - without looking at the disdainful look on the cat's face - Keller grabbed his bag and apparated out.
The next place he landed was far warmer in temperature and sunnier than England, but almost just as familiar as his own home, given the amount of time he'd been there over the last two years. Keller put Atlas down on the ground and watched the cat lazily slink away to find another patch of sunlight, also familiar with the layout of the apartment. Shucking off his bag in the bedroom, Keller glanced around the home, noticing the stacks of books and clothes all neatly put away in their rightful place: Fiona had always been more organised than Keller. The apartment smelled like Fiona, and it made Keller's heart clench painfully at the feeling of being separated for so many days during the week, only to have this brief moment together on the weekends, which is what set him in motion once again, intent on not wasting any time. "I'm headed out!" he called to Atlas as he grabbed his smaller bag, pulling it onto his shoulder and grabbing a bottle of water from Fiona's fridge. "Be good," he instructed, smiling at Atlas, who was stretched out on the lounge and ignoring Keller completely as he apparated for the third time that morning and landed heavily outside the gates of the dragon sanctuary where Fiona worked. With a quick hello and smile to the wizard guarding the gate, Keller slipped through and walked with a quick step to find Fiona, heart thudding with happiness at the prospect of seeing her again after being apart for so many days.
Well, you might be a bit confused
And you might be a little bit bruised
But baby how we spoon like no one else
So I will help you read those books
If you will soothe my worried looks
And we will put the lonesome on the shelf
Keller's seventh year was a tumultuous time, not just for him, but for the entire school -- but he managed to make it through to the end in one piece. It began rather simply: Keller was continuing his position as prefect, one that he held with pride, and feeling rather nervous about his seventh year. His previous year, which had seen a fair amount of drinking and experimenting, was slowly trickling into his seventh year - Keller had more than a few memorable occasions of drunken recklessness out in the grounds which resulted in his friends needing to come and fetch him. Keller also continued to feel confused about his sexuality: after a talk with Nolan, he came to conclusion that he might be happy with the label of 'bisexual' even though he wasn't sure he completely knew if it was right for him. His friendships with those around him grew, especially with Caden Bell, the Head Girl, and Tobias Peregrine, the Head Boy. They were something of a team, and for the first time, Keller felt like he might actually be worth something -- and as things around the school started to get tense, Keller wondered if he couldn't put his huge brain to good use. But circumstances beyond anyone's control meant that Tobias had to leave -- and suddenly Keller found himself with the Head Boy badge pinned to his chest. This was a huge responsibility that Keller felt every ounce of: he stopped drinking {at least publicly} and tried to be more of a leader, and with Caden, he felt able to do this more steadily than if he had been on his own.
The year pushed on unceasingly, and Keller realised that he was somehow growing closer to Fiona Bordan, whom he'd had a crush on since his second year. Of course, he thought nothing between them would ever happen: he wasn't the most outgoing or talkative of people, but after one fateful trip to the greenhouses, he and Fiona had emerged as something more than friends. Being with Fiona, earning her love, gave Keller more confidence than anything else could have: he wanted to deserve to be with her, and he wanted to make her happy, and Keller knew that in order to do those things, he'd have to work hard. But just as things started to become almost comfortable around Hogwarts, London was bombed -- which sent Keller down a path of investigation and research that he never really came back from. In the midst of his search for answers, Caden was pulled from Hogwarts, meaning that Keller became the only Head of School, and the weight on his shoulders increased further. After that, it was something of a downhill slide of events and pressure -- Keller's health deteriorated as things around the school seemed to only become more suspicious, and Keller pushed himself to extremes in order to get the answers he felt they all needed. He would have done whatever it took to keep the school safe: they'd lost their first Head Boy and their Head Girl, and Keller felt responsible for every single one of them, whether they liked him or not. But it was a lot for Keller, who was mixing potions to stay awake, mixing potions to supplement food, mixing potions just to make it through the day.
Despite his fading health, Keller managed to organise a trip to London's protest in favour and support of the oppressed werewolves that went horribly wrong. He felt responsible for each and every injury, and walking around the school after that and seeing people's healing cuts and bruises was hard for Keller: but he didn't hide; he wanted to look at each one so that he'd never forget what he did. His position as Head Boy had been shaken by McGonagall's thorough shake down, meaning he was already on fragile ground as the school pushed into the last months of term. After Lowell's visit, the end seemed to be closer in sight than ever before: NEWTs were announced, and after a hard two weeks of studying where Keller's tenuous health seemed to slip even further, he managed to achieve O's in all of his subjects -- not the first ever, but a point of pride for him nonetheless. The graduation ball was hosted, and Keller, as Head Boy, was asked to open the dance and did so with Fiona by his side -- and the night was a blur of festivities and goodbyes, with promises to keep in touch with those he had come to know well over the last seven years. While Keller was sad to be leaving Hogwarts with possibly never coming back, he couldn't help but look back on it all with pride: no one had died while he was Head Boy; no one had gone missing; he himself was in one piece {barely}, and he had Fiona and his friends surrounded him as his reward. The train left Hogwarts for the last time, and even if Keller left a little part of himself there, he knew that what came next would more than make up for it.
THROUGH THE DARK | in celebration of the second anniversary of keller murphy
i. flaws - bastille
ii. reel around the fountain - the smiths
iii. miracle mile - cold war kids
iv. harder than stone - city & colour
v. the winner is... - devotchka
vi. beekeeper - keaton henson
vii. through the dark - one direction
viii. let it be - the beatles
ix. elevator song - keaton henson
x. cloud - sia
xi. black flies - ben howard
xii. across the universe - the beatles
annaxmalina
vaporwave
andulkaphoto
discoholicmusic
turnnoffyourmind
blakekathryn
theartofmadeline
