post s3. steve catching billy massaging his own hands or rubbing them against something and. he offers to help. grabs some almond oil and starts kneading billy’s hands, asks him if it hurts. billy shakes his head, a little too breathless to reply with words. and steve starts helping all the time.
sometimes he’d just sit down next to him and rub his hands while watching tv. other times he notices the way billy’s gripping his fingers or trying to stop them from shaking and he’d very very gently take them and work his thumbs against his palms. ask him if he’s okay. warms his hands between both of his if they’re cold.
billy nearly cries with how tender steve can be.
and and and steve’s attention is always on billy’s hands, billy’s attention always on him. just watching him. “are you feeling any-” there’s a small pause when steve looks up and finds billy watching him, gazes locking for a split second before steve looks back down, cheeks gaining a little colour. he mumbles, “you feeling any better?”
“much,” billy mumbles back.
there are times when billy gets, really caught up in his head. gets self conscious and miserable and doesn’t even feel like leaving bed. they’re times where he feels too weak. not vulnerable. weak. emasculated. times like now, when he’s looking in the mirror after a much-needed shower and all he can see is an ugly scar in the middle of his chest, webbed and pale and dead.
he ends up breaking the mirror with his fist.
he doesn’t remember how he winds up sitting on his bed with steve on his knees, muttering to himself and bandaging his hand. he doesn’t mean to act on his thoughts for fucking once and turn his hand in steve’s, brush his fingertips over his wrist where his pulse’s thumping.
steve looks up at him, so pretty and open and heartachingly kind. he lifts billy’s hand to his mouth and kisses the his bandaged knuckles like, “things get bad, you talk to me, deal?”
and billy nods, turns his hand again, holds steve’s face. says, breathes, “jus’ really wanna kiss you, steve.”
it draws a huffed laugh out of steve, tints his cheeks red. “i won’t stop you.”
theartofmadeline
origamiaround
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
