Uh... Hello... @keria1123 - Tumblr Blog

Would anyone like to see pictures of this bird I’m friends with

I love her

i am loving people’s attempts to identify this bird its just an australian magpie, she’s not a chimera, she’s not a fucked up crow, etc. she is just….. a regular run of the mill magpie

She is also a mother…. here is her yelling son who she brought to me one time

windriderdelta

HOW THE HELL DID YOU BEFRIEND AN AUSTRALIAN MAGPIE

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

i give her chips sometimes

ethanrayne

From what I’ve heard, australian magpies are actually quite nice if they trust you not to hurt them. Swooping season happens because, as a species, they’ve learned that most humans are Dangerous and so they preemptively attack to protect themselves and their young. If you’ve been nice to a group of magpies, though, they’ll remember you and you won’t be swooped at.

melredcap

Magpies are extremely cool birds, and very intelligent… which means that they know that humans are the biggest threat around and that we can be good friends. Thus, swooping, and also not swooping humans who have proven themselves to be trustworthy sources of food.

The funniest interaction I ever had with some magpies was when one of my former workplaces had our Christmas lunch as a picnic in a park. A pair of magpies were teaching their fledgeling how to beg for food from humans. First one would approach, crouch down and coo at us; someone threw them a bit of cheese. Then the other adult approached, crouched down and cooed at us; someone threw a piece of cabanossi. Both tidbits were picked up, taken back and shared with the offspring… then the adults were standing there looking at the fledgeling and then at us, obviously going “Go on, then, you try it!”

Fledgeling magpie nervously walked closer to us, looked back at its parents, then half-crouched and yelled “RAWK!” in our direction. We cracked up laughing, startling the poor baby, but he or she got over it pretty quickly when a HAIL of bits of cheese and sausage landed all around.

@asymbina @brookietf @tharook

THIS IS A GOOD NARRATIVE <3

cryoverkiltmilk

I’m fascinated with the concept of baby animals being TAUGHT, complete with focus-drawing behaviors, followed by demonstration, about how to interact with humans.

So yeah, baby can have some chips.

jennenen

@elodieunderglass

mycroftrh

people get so confused trying to figure out the Lois/Clark/Superman situation that somehow they come to the conclusion that Clark is cheating on Lois with Superman

mycroftrh

I mean Lois clearly has nothing to hide, everyone from here to Krypton’s seen Superman fly her with a chaste hand around her waist. but Clark puts an awful lot of effort into making sure no one ever gets a pic of him and Superman together

what is he worried Lois will see

mycroftrh

people shake their heads sadly every time Superman visits the Daily Planet and then Clark emerges from a closet disheveled and tucking his shirt back into his pants. but if Lois won’t see it there’s nothing they can do

I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

an-android-in-a-tutu

Way funnier to me than adult heroes finding out Peter is a teenager and becoming Concerned is the idea of adult heroes Retroactively finding out Peter Was a teenager because he admits to being like. 22 and they’re like “Hang on you’ve been doing this for like. Seven years.” and he’s like “Haha crazy right? Anyway it’s too late for you to yell at me about that because the statue of limitations on that lecture ran out when I turned 18”

YEAH this trope is instantly more tolerable if it’s fully adult Peter being like, *listen up whippersnappers because I’ve been around the block voice* “I’m thirty, and—” and Tony Stark, who vaguely assumed Spider-Man is maybe two years older than him because he just has that energy and hasn’t reassessed this for four presidential terms, is like, *drunkenly doing math* “You’re how many”

mamapluto

Okay but…them trying to talk about Old People Stuff with him, not realizing that he wasn’t alive to remember xyz thing happening, never used xyz technology bc he didn’t exist yet, not expecting him to agree with the fact that some ppl were saying songs they grew up to were oldies, etc

The thing about Peter Parker is that he was raised by senior citizens the way other heroes are raised by wolves. He has the body of an Olympic gymnast and the soul of a malcontented geriatric. This likely contributed to the perpetuation of the accidental ruse.

It’s when he channels Aunt May so hard he makes it sound like he was personally and immediately affected by McCarthyism that the time traveler fringe theory starts really picking up bets.

Pal, I JUST SAID he was raised by AUNT MAY.

Also not to get real on a ha ha comic post but the elderly are not your enemy. There are old progressives.

rubythecrimsonwriter

Peter has a lot of feelings about the woman that discovered DNA and he strikes me as the kind of person that thinks that distancing yourself from notable figures of history by using their last names is stupid, so he’s going to say something like, “Rosalind worked so fucking hard to have that work snatched from her,” immediately followed by, “I woulda thumped him good,” and inspiring Tony and Banner to frantically look through the 1930s and 40s yearbooks at King’s College and theorize which one was Spider-Man. Captain America tries reminiscing about the good ole days with him. Peter, for his part, has been absently agreeing and making vague “I’m listening” noises about the Rolling Stones and Elton John for the majority of his life, so adding baseball, Duke Ellington, and Ella Fitzgerald to the list wasn’t that much of a stretch.

There are only like three genuinely funny additions on this, but this is one of them.

fandomsandstuff

captain america pushing a get out the vote campaign: ‘spiderman did you vote’

spider’man’ at 16: uhhhh so about that

ndiecity-deactivated20241101

“I…can’t.” “I see. That’s why it’s so important to restore voting rights to felons.”

whetstonefires

That’s made funnier by the fact that I feel like Steve’s natural assumption would be that Spiderman’s a non-citizen, so him jumping straight to felon is like, Peter just has such strong criminal vibes.

wishfulcynic

Steve: What’d you go in for?

Peter, panicking: Jaywalking!

Steve: This prison pipeline needs to stop.

faustandfurious

One advantage of not really having a strong sense of gender identity is that you’re very [shrug emoji] about how people gender you. Sometimes people call me by she/her pronouns and sometimes they go with he/him pronouns and on the internet people often default to they/them, and neither option is entirely right but also, fuck if I know what would be right, and I don’t particularly care. Therefore I’m perfectly happy to outsource my gender identity to the people around me who actually need to figure out which box to put me in. I don’t need to talk about myself in third person, so really my pronouns sound like a you problem.

faustandfurious

My pronouns are I/me and the rest is for someone else to deal with because I have better things to do.

faustandfurious

Very fond of macrolabels, like “queer”, that provide zero extra information. Is it genderqueer? Is it romantic/sexual orientation queer? Is it queer as in “none of your fucking business what’s in my pants and what I do with it and with whom”?

yesterdaysprint

transmortifried

peak performance

Karl Marx

no-longer-another-bondi-blonde

pulpwrit3r

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

altospaceangel

This is still one of the top posts to come out of covid

dykecadence

every moment of every day i am thinking about this tiktok

purrfectly

Lumpfish come in a variety of shapes and colors.

[He scoops up the fish, it spits water and he turns it toward the camera]

This one is stumpy and green. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is what a normal lumpfish looks like. It is more elongated, but still a vibrant blue color. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is one of the stumpiest ones we have. Its hump is very high. It is very stumpy, but yet very beautiful, and very powerful.

[He pans over a lot of fish, all looking up at the camera]

My fish army is ever growing, and soon I will over throw the world. Very beautiful, very powerful.

saint-batrick

because of this tiktok, i frequently murmur "very beautiful, very powerful" at myself, and i cannot recommend it enough.

cloverpatchthecat

This dude, the one who's tiktok this video came from, is the greatest. The lumpfish dont flop all over the place like most fish would because theyre USED to being held, so they can be weighed and measured. He also keeps crabs, urchins, shrimp, lobsters, and starfish. He might have more, idk its been a while since I checked his tiktok.

But he's pretty great and I love this video so much, very beautiful, very powerful.

black-carnation120

Reblogging with the explanation because some people in the comments were worried

circespigfarm

crittizen

The look on her face when she realizes

aegri-somnia-vana

Here’s what they said if you didn’t understand-

Interviewer: What do you think about starting an initiative on campus here at UK, to be more inclusive to women who have penises? So we can put urinals in the womens restroom for them.

Student: Sounds fantastic.

Interviewer: Oh, does it?

Student: Yeah.

Interviewer: What about- Let’s take it one step closer, y'know more- for inclusivity here on campus, but free tampons and pads in the mens restroom for men who have periods?

Student: Sounds great.

Interviewer: Ok- You dont see anything wrong with those statements?

Student: No.

Interviewer: What men do you know with periods?

Student: I generally use- ones like in Willy T* have pads, I use them pretty often.

*(Willy T is the college nickname for their library I’ve heard.)

lost-clause

I attend this school and I can confirm 2 things. Yes, our big library is indeed called Willy T AND the day that this stank bitch came to campus everyone was losing their MINDS and kept walking by in hopes of getting chosen to call her out. Immaculate.

iclimbtreestofeelalive

i. am on the floor. wheezing. the moment she realizes that not only is she talking to a trans man,, but that SHE COULDN’T CLOCK HIM,, this is high art and i want it written in Big Wedge sharpie on my wall

tricky-pockets

okay, idk where the clip was, but there was another bit where she was talking to this frat-boy looking dude:

bennett: so do you think we should put tampons and pads in the men’s restroom? dude: sure, I mean, I don’t really care. if a dude needs a tampon, he can have one. bennett: but would he need one? like, what would he use it for? dude, thoroughly unimpressed: I don’t know, that’s his problem.

and I just love that guy’s energy. So much of the trans bathroom talk is invasive and way too personal, and then there’s this guy like “yeah, why the fuck would I need to know? why do you need to know, you weirdo?”

supportivespaceforsurvivors

It's okay if the only emotion you're ready to feel right now is anger. Being angry doesn't make you dangerous or immoral. Anger is a normal emotion. It's usually a secondary emotion, meaning there are other emotions that are causing that anger. But sometimes anger feels like the only safe emotion, and if you're not ready to address the emotions that are the cause of your anger, that's okay. Being angry is allowed.

keria1123

is this about Chris Pratt voicing mario?

xanthomonus

hardcoremisery

give me a reason to believe

ainawgsd

Owls are masters of disguise, blending seamlessly into their surroundings.

motivatedslacker

These trees appear to be judging me.

rainbow-unicorn-monkeyballs-pt2

There’s no owl in that 6th pic

queerkittyy

sneaky

mopeylopey1

a process of events

lynati

and there’s two in the fourth image.

maggiefromspace

THERE’S TWO IN THE FOURTH IMAGE

luffik

omg there’s two in the fourth image

lazynbored

And then there were two…

So I kept telling my husband to stop unfolding his clean clothes and leaving them on the floor, and he insisted he wasn’t doing any of that even though I had the evidence.

Just found the cat pulling t-shirts out of his drawer, which had been left slightly ajar. The culprit has escalated from trashcan crimes and is trying to cause upset in my marriage now.

I discovered the ruse a bit faster than the former but she ALSO pulls clothes off the hangers by trying to “climb” them so she can sit on the top closet shelf.

HOMEWRECKER

titimylove

get her a cat tower, she wants to be tall

She HAS a cat tower it’s the tallest one the store had

And she has LOTS of toys and many snackies she has NO reason to cause mischief except her own bastardly motivation.

My favorite kind of Adultier Adults™ are those who actively try, like really really try, to understand millennial and GenZ humor but just can’t q u i t e get it, and turn it into something 10x funnier

Me over the phone in bad traffic: Oh, I can move again, the road work is done

My grandpa: Uh I sure hope it isn’t

Me:

Gramps:

Me: Did-

Gramps: Did I do it right

Me with my grandpa again: What’cha doing?

Gramps: making a video of seven seconds of joy

Me, frightened: gramps?

Gramps: *Sends a 7-second video of himself eating Almond Joy* Can you put it on vine for me

Me, choking up, not willing to tell him it’s gone: S-Sure

Me, to my Grandmother over the phone: I don’t know gramma, I don’t know if English is a degree that suits me.

Gramma: But you’ve always loved writing!

Gramps, screaming for the other side of their apartment, just audible over the phone: THAT’S HER OPINIIIOOOOOONNNNNNN!

(Over the phone at like 22:30) Me: Man I am just exhausted but can’t find any sleeping aids, are there any left from when you-

Gramps: It’s the sleeping time

Me: yeah?

Gramps: So it’s the time to sleep?

Me: …. yes?

Gramps: Might I suggest you put head on pillow and sleep?

Me, finally realizing: You watch tiktoks. YOU watch TIKTOK.

Gramps: Just get some warm milk, you cretin

Gramps: *Hangs up*

Me, staring at my phone in disbelief: WH Y