Ketzel

I'm only here to reblog! and maybe post a few pics of my cats

[ge]

baek'ah.. my baby my baby..

[ketzelcat]

where's all the ed content I remember existing

[ketzelcat]

woah this is old as hell.

[dannylemeow]

The Dragon and the Snake

Toxic by Britney Spears plays in the background when these two arrive

Art by: @OMG0TAKU

[alt-rnativv]

Deadplate Hell’s Kirchen au real

[mccromy]

The Shen Jiu & Shen Yuan dynamic I need to see more of is Shen Jiu coming to see Shen Yuan as a father figure, perhaps even a mother figure. And not in the way you think.

We are always talking about Shen Yuan's wife beam, but we don't talk about his mommy beam. I think Shen Jiu could resist the wife beam if subjected to it, but I don't believe he has any defense for the mommy beam. Now, I'm not talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating earlier than canon, meeting a child Shen Jiu and adopting him.

I'm talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating after Shen Jiu has already taken over Qing Jin peak. I'm talking about 21 year old Shen Yuan transmigrating into the body of a nameless rogue cultivator, meeting fully grown man already in his thirties Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu, and hitting him with his mommy/daddy-issuesinator and causing him a life threatening Qi deviation.

Shen Qingqiu can't help but trust him, and eventually looks up to him, sees him as a wise elder he seeks out for advice. He fucking hates it but he can't help himself. This homeless man he met in the forest is the closest thing he's ever had to a father. Also. He sort of wants Shen Yuan to breastfeed him in a, and he means this, non sexual way and he can't cope with that. He would just feel so safe!!

Shen Yuan, 21 years old, rogue cultivator, first time transmigrator and the father who stepped up, thinks he befriended the scum villain, and maybe? He can be a good influence on him? Be a good friend and guide him towards a fully limbed future. He's practically raising him but nobody tell him that.

Shen Jiu lost his childhood to slavery and his teenage years to violent madmen. and now he's behaving in ways he doesn't understand. He once lost sight of Shen Yuan in the town's market, ran towards a man who looked exactly like Shen Yuan from behind, and almost had a panic attack when the man turned out to be a stranger. It's all good because Shen Yuan found him before he started swinging Xiu Ya ("Have you seen my friend? He's this tall, clearly traumatized, but we haven't had the talk")

People think they're lovers at some point because Shen Jiu is quite possessive of Shen Yuan's attention, but everybody realizes that there's something way more innocent, and also weirder, and worse, going on between them when Shen Yuan drags Shen Qingqiu by the hand to apologize to the sect leader for being so rude when poor A-Yue is trying his best, and stands there with arms crossed, eyebrows raised, until Shen Qingqiu mumbles an apology, glances at Shen Yuan, and runs away.

"I'm sorry about that, Sect Leader Yue, he's had a bad day. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Yue Qingyuan, someone who did actually sort of raise Shen Qingqiu, who's stood in Shen Yuan's shoes before, extracting reluctant apologies from an indignated Shen Jiu, to authority figures so he wouldn't get in trouble, is overcome by an intense, never before experienced wave of jealousy, so sudden it makes him spit vinegar flavored blood.

Then, a panicked Shen Yuan accidentally hits him with the mommy beam by accidentally adopting him (trying to befriend this guy who clearly needs a friend he can confide in!). And now he's placed himself in the young step-mom role who's desperately trying to bond with her new husband's teenage children but they're wired to not like her! (He used those exact words when explaining to Shang Qinghua where that new tension he has with the Sect Leader came from)

Liu Qingge is afraid of him. Maybe. He runs away when their eyes meet but he keeps leaving dead things at his feet so like, he's probably threatening him? He feels intimidated by him? Or something?

(Liu Qingge thinks Shen Qingqiu's older brother is so cool and really wants to hang out with him, but if Shen Yuan calls him Didi one more time Liu Qingge's barely held back "Yes, Gege?" Is going to jump out of his mouth and he WILL Qi deviate and EXPLODE)

When Binghe enters the equation shit gets a lot weirder.

First, he believes Shen Yuan to be Shen Qingqiu's neglected spouse (Shizun keeps leaving his poor wife alone when he goes out on night hunts and to visit brothels! Shen Yuan has needs!! He should be with someone who cherished him!! Someone who would treat him as he deserves to be treated, someone who'd wait hand and foot on him!!!) needless to say, Luo Binghe's teenage fantasies take on an even more illicit turn than in canon (it goes from "STERN TEACHER POUNDED BY STUDENT AT BAIZHAN TRAINING GROUNDS" to "NEGLECTED WIFE CHEATS WITH STUDENT ON HUSBAND'S BED!! IMPREGNATED WHILE HUSBAND IS AWAY")

Luo Binghe, of course, does his best to seduce him, but ends up being coddled and cuddled.

"it's like I'm his handmaiden, his shadow, the only witness to my lady's heartbreak at her husband's cold regard and indiscretions. Shizun won't spare him a moment if not to discuss cultivation or business! He won't allow Shen Yuan more than a head pat! and move away from any other touch! How ungrateful! They don't even share a bed! I brush his hair, I dress him every morning, I pour him tea and he lets me rest my weary head on his lap. The intimacy we share is not sexual, but Ning-Shijie, I wish it was! I saw the outline of his dick yesterday and I need it!"

"A-Luo please stop talking."

Then, he realizes he misunderstood. Shen Yuan is a cultivator so of course he looks so young! Shen Yuan is clearly Shen Qingqiu's father. He's constantly worried for his un-filial son and remains by his side!! That explains everything!!!(LONELY DILF RIDES YOUNG MAN ON QING JING'S LIBRARY!! HE WISHES YOUNG MAN WAS HIS SON!!!!)

He goes from trying to steal Shen Qingqiu's wife to steal his father. He could be Shen Yuan's friend, lover, and son. His student. His confidant. His silly rabbit.

Shen Qingqiu KNOWS this. But nobody will fucking believe him!! The jiejies at the pavilion giggle and tell him he must be exaggerating, and when he went to Yue Qingyuan so he could intervene and fix it, Yue Qi just looked at him dead eyed and said to "Let him." !!! Let him what?? Deflower our father Qi-Ge??? Shame on you!! That beast is trying to break this family apart!!

But wait!!! look!!! a crack opened in the fabric of space and reality, leading directly to hell. Wouldn't it be a shame if someone were to, accidentally, drop kick this homewrecker inside it?

Luo Binghe is gone when Shen Qingqiu realizes oh wait, that was a demon mark on his forehead wasn't it. Oh good, now he has an excuse. Baba will understand.

(Baba doesn't understand. Baba acts as if he's lost his soul and won't look him in the eye. He's also growing mushrooms bodies in the garden, and added a drop of Shen Qingqiu's blood in the seeds before planting? Which is odd. but at least if he's gardening then he's not staring at that swordmound for hours on end)

I don't even know where I'm going with this

[royalfrostrose]

Ok but how would things be then 'cause you forgot someone semi important.

Ming Fang

He already does everything to impress his shizun and turns into a mini shen jiu at times. So like, would shen yuan be is grand dad? Would shen jiu tell ming fan to be even worse to luo binghe in secret? Or would he stop the order to please his new daddy?

[mccromy]

I can't believe I forgot about Ming Fan.

Ming Fan knows Shen Yuan is 21, he just can tell.

At first, he thought Shen Yuan was Shen Qingqiu's long lost son who finally came home but, after witnessing Shen Qingqiu smack a child, look at Shen Yuan for approval, only to wither away at Shen Yuan's unimpressed glare, he comes to the conclusion that Shen Yuan is Shen Qingqiu's sugar baby.

Now, that's very scandalous, isn't it? No wonder they're going to such lengths to hide it. He is of the assumption everybody has been fooled by their "father and son" facade, and he's the only one who's seen through it.

And he's nothing if not a filial disciple, he can't let people find out about Shizun's boy toy situation. The man deserves to indulge in some carnal pleasures, and Ming Fan is just glad he's doing it supervised, safe at home, and not on some disreputable establishment or worse, in the streets!

Shen Yuan is kind to everybody, and although he shows a clear preference for Shizun's company, it's very obvious that Shizun's attachment to Shen Yuan is stronger than his lover's

Oh, perhaps Shizun didn't bring him as a Sugar Baby exactly, but met him at one of those disreputable establishment he frequents and, captivated, brought him back as a bride? But oh, sect politics. Shen Yuan, even if they officially wed, would never be seen or treated anything more than a lowly concubine, and both his and Shizun's reputation would be tarnished forever, so they're forced to live this lie to remain free and untouched by the outside world's less than kind eyes! Since a Peak Lord and his filial son sharing a home is something commendable, while a Peak Lord marrying his favorite prostitute most certainly isn't!

It's alright, Shizun! This disciple is rooting for you! You do whatever makes you happy, Ming Fan won't let anybody get in the way of your happiness!! He's a good disciple!!

Unfortunately the world conspires against him, since, eventually That Beast figures it out and wants in!! He's trying to take Shen Yuan's place—!

"He really, really isn't Ming-Shixiong," interrupts a long suffering, utterly done Ning Yingying.

"—as if Shizun would ever settle for a mutt like him. I won't stand for it!"

Luo Binghe, in the middle of his steal his wife era, thinks Ming Fan is trying to help his cruel master keep Shen Yuan locked inside his gilded cage, like the horrible little minion that he is! When will his beloved Shen Yuan ever be free!?!

"Luo Binghe ought to know his place!"

"This one is well aware of where he belongs," on his knees, between Shen Yuan's legs (Kyaa!).

"I don't believe he does, for he clearly he covets what belongs to others. But no matter how hard he tries, he cannot rise high enough to even reach the hem of Shizun's robes with his filthy fingertips!"

You're not becoming Shizun's sugar baby! You're not breaking them apart!! Shen Yuan makes him happy, he hasn't whipped anybody in a month!! Screams Ming Fan inside his head.

Meanwhile Luo Binghe chants CUCKZUN, CUCKZUN, CUCKZUN

(Luo Binghe is going to make sweet, sweet love to his despicable Shizun's wife. Then, they're going to kill him, flee the sect, marry under the moonlight, build a home in the forest, eat from the same plate, drink from the same cup. When ready, they'll both take turns getting pregnant with beautiful, beautiful babies, and then they're going to found their own sect with their hundred of children's as disciples! You just wait Ming Fan, this Luo Binghe will show you!)

Then the sect leader enters the picture and everything becomes so messy

Because Shen Yuan is clearly in love with Yue Qingyuan!

Oh no!

He's so accommodating to the sect leader, so desperate to get him to like him! And the sect leader seems so skittish around him too! Does he know that Shen Yuan is sleeping with his shidi? Is he unaware of the true nature of their relationship and thinks his martial nephew has a crush on him?!

Shen Yuan!! What are you doing!! Shizun treats you so well, and he's clearly so in love with you, how can you be so greedy!! So heartless!! is the second highest peak not good enough for you??? You're aiming for the top?! Is this pile of gold you dug not good enough for you, you gold digger?! You want to empty out the whole mountain, is that it?! What's next? Huan Hua?!

Shen Yuan is going to break Shizun's heart! and then, like a vulture, Luo Binghe is going to swoop in and take advantage of their Shizun's vulnerable state and become Shizun's official wife!!! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!!

Ming Fan develops an ulcer.

[aftersector]

they swimb

[disgracefulthings]

Shen Qingqiu, handing Yue Qingyuan a baby: Hold this

Yue Qingyuan: Of course, Xiao-Jiu. Who is this?

Shen Qingqiu: This is Shen Yuan, our child. I gave birth to him. You will take responsibility

Yue Qingyuan: Of course. I will make preparations for our wedding ASAP

Shen Qingqiu: Good.

Qi Qingqi: I don't remember Shen Qingqiu being pregnant?

Mu Qingfang: I believe that our shixiong just grabbed some random orphan to baby trap Yue Qingyuan with

[allpiesforourown]

I think this would be even funnier if they've never had sex

[fairsweetlonging]

i love writing about shen qingqiu flirting with people but not knowing he does it, and never realizing what effect it has on people or when they flirt back

for instance, he doesn't quite have a grasp on the usage of flowery, poetic speech yet, so he uses it in ways that are more suggestive than he means to. he compliments liu qingge's fighting style but the words he uses are "dancing like a snow lotus in the high mountain gales" and liu qingge turns so red shen qingqiu thinks he has a fever. he also said to wei qingwei that if only he was better a guqing player he would capture the sound of his laughter (wei qingwei has a boisterous laugh and this was meant to be teasing) and wei qingwei lay awake for three nights thinking about that.

he'd try to banter with yue qingyuan in the sort of taunting style of the original sqq, but in doing so accidentally strays into "shixiong should just bring his pillow and move in with how much he visits" "well if shidi insists" territory, and he doesn't realize it.

he pretends to be jealous when liu qingge goes on a mission with someone else, saying things like "shidi is having so much fun with [other peak lord], am i not enough? has my heart been traded for another?" with a fake pout that's supposed to be playful, but that inadvertently causes liu qingge to only accept missions with him or by himself, and of course shen qingqiu keeps digging this hole deeper by then acting flattered when liu qingge invites only him to the hunt.

he also definitely goes a little shakespearean sometimes to be dramatic, but people take that serious too. one time shang qinghua was too busy to read/write with him, so he complained to whoever listened, "the cruelty of his words have ripped my heart asunder, never again will i feel joy from what has now turned to sorrow", and two days later shang qinghua asks him what the hell he said to make half of the peak lords show up angry at his house like scorned lovers

in my mind he has also made a "chain me to the bed to have your way" kind of comment about his without a cure treatment, because mu qingfang added twenty new concoctions to the list that are yucky and shen yuan doesn't like yucky things, but even he was like "hm" about that and their next appointment was a little awkward.

[cursed-angelic-art]

[ID: An edited screenshot of a Tumblr post. The first part says, "people who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on." The second part says, "FUCK this post and happy birthday shizun." It's followed by an edit of Shen Qingqiu from the English volume 1 cover of Scum Villain, edited to be surrounded by sparkly and pastel animated happy birthday stickers. End ID]

[brightlotusmoon]

[learning-to-fly-on-my-own]

Wake up babe, new life-hacks just dropped

[scientificphilosopher]

It wrinkles my brain that Jupiter’s moon Europa has oceans that are sixty miles deep, while Earth’s oceans only reach seven miles deep at most. I’m willing to bet good money that there’s life in Europa’s oceans. Like five bucks. You hear me, NASA? I bet you five bucks that there’s life on Europa… Now that there’s money and reputation on the line, I bet they send a mission there real quick.

[curiousobsession101]

I have no idea when this was originally posted, but NASA is working on their Europa mission RIGHT NOW to look for alien life! But get this, they theorize that because of the depth, gravity, and composition of the oceans, any organisms that lived there would be waaay bigger than aquatic life on Earth. So far everything’s going well with regards to their Europa mission so they should have a spacecraft on its way to look for giant sea monsters in space in only a few years. (The planned date is in the early 2020s.)

[scientificphilosopher]

Looks like my negotiations worked. You’re welcome, humanity.

[libraryspectre]

I’ve never been gripped with such cold terror and pure delight in my LIFE

[captain-snark]

explaining to an 18th century sailor that we’re looking for sea monsters in space. 

[gehayi]

The launch date for the Europa Clipper is October 2024.

[syolen]

Please let there be sea monsters in space Please let there be sea monsters in space Please let there be sea monsters in space Please let there be sea monsters in space Please let there be sea monsters in space Please let there be sea monsters in space 

[mysteryteacup]

We’re almost at the time when this post will hopefully receive an update

[sister-equalist]

I'm curious. Reblog this if you know how to cook

I don’t even care if it’s macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDN’T STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldn’t fix them food or they couldn’t go out to eat. 

[mysteryteacup]

I’m the one cooking for my family, inc surviving parent.

[syn4k]

burning text gif maker

heart locket gif maker

minecraft advancement maker

minecraft logo font text generator w/assorted textures and pride flags

windows error message maker (win1.0-win11)

FromSoftware image macro generator (elden ring Noun Verbed text)

image to 3d effect gif

vaporwave image generator

microsoft wordart maker (REALLY annoying to use on mobile)

you're welcome

[mmelete]

[foone]

whole bunch of different video games generator

[talisidekick]

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

[waitineedaname]

Shen Qingqiu manages to bullshit his way through a lot of xianxia skills through muscle memory, and i bet that includes painting since Qing Jing is a peak for artists, so when he zones out and lets his hands do their thing, he can produce art that fits the ancient Chinese art style. When he tries, however, and actually thinks about his art, it becomes very clear to any modern observer that he likely had several "how to draw manga" books as a young teen. His students are captivated by this new art style and everyone starts attempting to mimic it and before he's realized it, there's a new art style coming out of Qing Jing Peak. Word that the Qing Jing Peak Lord has pioneered a new painting style reaches Shang Qinghua's ears and as soon as he looks into it, he loses his fucking mind

[recuperationdisliker]

figured out why there's been an uptick in me getting blocked by seemingly cool people recently. apparently my description looks like this on ios:

it's supposed to say "transmisogyny not welcome". tumblr fucking "coolsville sucks"ed me. i'm literally a trans woman.