Khan...tagious?

Khan, Khasha, Akasha, Adasha, Kashka Twenty-seven years old and STILL chilling in a post-film school pergatory. Hannibal was my gateway drug to higher education. I'm trying to be optimistic. etsy.com/shop/AdrianaArchive

[kharnesh-ao3]

Which Theme of Anthology Would You Be Most Interested In Reading?

Honey

Venom

Possession

Hunger

Bleed

Held

Sin

Rend

Milk

Wrath

Ache

Strangle

Voting ended onFeb 16, 2024

Which of these concepts most peaks your interest?

[madebymothman]

Shhhh.... he's eeping...

[ring2002]

sexually repressed people be like “i have an ancient evil stirring within me. no one can know” and its literally just craving intimacy

[clytemnestraaa]

look the reason i know rose is like ti west levels of insane is because she is best friends with shane. like you need to understand that to me rose is fully a polar bear apex predator. she is standing in the bathroom in front of the full length mirror at 3am fully nude not blinking and practicing her tremulous teary oscars acceptance gasp-and-smile over and over and over. she's the 25 step skincare patrick bateman.

[penandinkprincess]

the main post is getting giant and has so many threads on it already, but the idea of the first time shane has a contact reaction being AFTER ILYA KNOWS ABOUT THE ALLERGIES AND HAS TRIED SO HARD TO KEEP HIS HOUSE SAFE

during the literal YEARS of not knowing he could potentially kill shane? NO

THE ALLERGIES WAITED UNTIL HE FELT SAFE

he had fries or something while he was out at a bar with the team and didn't think about it because he didn't order them and was just absentmindedly grazing from the plate that got shared, but he goes home to shane, kiss kiss, starting to strip, and then shane just *increasingly frequent pauses to try and clear his throat* *realization about what's happening*

and after the terror is over and shane has been treated and is okay again, ilya is just ??? fucking SERIOUSly??? years and years of lucky breaks and it's a few random fucking fries cooked in peanut oil that do it??? what the FUCK

[penandinkprincess]

GOD post-outing but pre-knowing about shane's allergies, the team just assumes oh?? the bar must have said something homophobic or something??? cap must have been the only one who heard it?? and they're now like well FUCK that place >:( and start refusing to go there, too.

only to find out later it's because ilya blames it for making his kisses deadly to boyfriends with peanut allergies

[penandinkprincess]

RODNEY NOOOOOOO

[ginalinettiofficial]

rodney’s wife over here watching her husband of thirty years go through a one-sided breakup just like “babe. babe the bar is still doing fine this isn’t affecting our bottom line and i’m SURE it’s just a coincidence and boodram was having a bad day.” but rodney can’t and won’t hear it. the centaurs hate him, personally, and he is inconsolable about it.

[penandinkprincess]

fucking TEARS IN MY EYES laughing at this but also filled with so much real sympathy for this fake man.

i'm just picturing a long montage of rodney just fucking. looking at the pictures and sighing. looking out the window and sighing. looking at the table the cens usually sit at and sighing.

and meanwhile tanya is just, "?? why are you taking this harder than when the kids left for college??"

[dreamofbecoming]

#heated rivalry#shallergies#the kicker is that if ANYONE talked about ANYTHING rodney would have anything peanut out of that bar IMMEDIATELY#GONE#GONE FROM HIS BAR#he would personally spit on every peanut he sees for the rest of his life if it would mean the return of his boys </3#GOD#after shane is in ottawa someone in passing mentions the bar#and it's kind of wistful but they're like 'good riddance for being shitty to cap though'#and ilya is just ?? 'what?? what are you talking about?'#'y-you hate that bar?'#'yes is bad place.'#'??? be-because?? someone said something shitty to you?'#'what? no? they made me poison hollander.'#shane from the side: 'what??? are you talking about???'#'the time i kissed you and you went into shock when you were visiting. is because i was at the bar and something had peanuts i didn't know.#the rest of the team: '...THAT'S WHY WE STOPPED GOING TO-'#and now shane is just 'ilya you can't swear off a bar forever because you accidentally cross-contaminated me'#'can and am and will hollander. no forgiveness.'#'ilya they didn't even fucking know. you're being ridiculous.'#now everyone on the team who has given rodney the cold shoulder is just 'o-oh no. oh god. oh fuck.'#them returning to the bar with a gift basket and having to be like 'soooo due to a misunderstanding and also peanuts-'#pffft oh my GOD roddy's bar ends up becoming one of the most allergy-safe bars in ottawa after this XD#rodney becomes fucking MILITANT about it#it takes like six times of the team going there and reporting back before ilya decides to trust it again#and rodney nearly sheds a tear the day it finally happens#meanwhile tanya is just 'you really couldn't have just like. bought a mustang or something?? if you were going to do the late life crisis?' (via op)

pen you can’t keep doing this to me you can’t keep dragging me into fandoms i’m not in and making me emotionally invested in characters who aren’t even in the source material! please i have a family!

[penandinkprincess]

IF HE HAD TO BE OTTAWANDA TO KEEP THE CENS AT HIS BAR, HE WOULD BE OTTAWANDA TO KEEP THE CENS AT HIS BAR.

i also love the idea of this older man who wasn't a homophobe but also wasn't like. an active outspoken queer ally because it just didn't occur to him as something to be. who is now AGGRESSIVELY inclusive in this bar. if you don't like it? get OUT. he lost the cens once, and it will NOT happen again. not on his watch! not while he lives!!! for every shitty comment, five new rainbow flags go up!! keep pushing him!!!

and the kids aren't, like...judging. but they are going to tanya and being like, "uuuuh, mom? is dad...trying to come out? in like. a really weird sideways way?"

and tanya just *heavy sigh* "honey i WISH it was that simple."

[currysideplate]

Just making use of my free will

Inspo🖼:The Meeting on the Turret Stairs

[dailyhollanov]

I'm going to be Boston [...] I'm going to fucking kill you. I AM you. Heated Rivalry — S01E06

[catsoverloaded]

Poor girl broke her favorite sitting basket.

[kitten-cab00dle]

I’m sorry but this is the funniest thing I have ever seen ever in my fucking life her PEETS are STICKING OUT

[poetrylesbian]

obviously dietary requirements aren't a joke but my grandma sometimes runs errands for her church and i asked her what she's up to today and she said extremely seriously "ive got to track down the body of the gluten free christ, julia"

[ritavonbees]

this totally scans for a swear intensifier btw. what in the gluten free christ is going on here, Julia

[onlytiktoks]

[aniseandspearmint]

Asdfghjkl her perfectly straight face and even tone throughout should win an AWARD

[demilypyro]

phone somehow autocorrected "the joker" to "the worker." why so devoid of class consciousness, batman

[demilypyro]

[prokopetz]

Blackout poetry exists on a dual axis from "banal" to "insightful" on the input side and "kind of deep" to "incredibly fucking dumb" on the output side, and while taking something banal and producing something kind of deep is well and fine, for my money taking something insightful and rendering it incredibly fucking dumb is where the real art is.

[petrodykeonicapocalypse]

[wordfather]

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

[wordfather]

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

[wordfather]

THIRTY TWO??????

[phillyphillyphilly]

Listen that doesn’t even account for all the weird shit local farmers are getting up to.

May I present the best apple:

[wordfather]

the world is so big and beautiful

[catchymemes]

[gurlsrool]

I don't have a lot of hopes for Unrivaled, but I do hope that Shane is so fucking angry...and not just at Montreal.

I hope he struggles to look Hayden in the eyes sometimes because he can't stop thinking about that fucking video. He doesn't want to, that's his best friend and it was an honest mistake, but God, would it have killed him to watch it back? He was so close to getting to come out on his own terms. So fucking close.

I hope he's bitter about how nice the Centaurs are because how is that fair? Why didn't he get to have that in Montreal? Why was it so impossible for them to give him this? Why do the guys in Ottawa make it seem so fucking easy? Even Troy Fucking Barrett's nice here?! What the hell's in the water?

I hope he looks up at the rafters when they play Montreal and all he sees is where his jersey should have been retired and he just wants to scream. I hope when fans burn their Hollander jerseys, he's not able to laugh it off as absurd extremist homophobia. He's fucking livid.

He looks at his body, at his legs that will be shot before 50 and every bone he's broken and every injury he's played through, all to be tossed aside because, what? Because he fell in love? Because he tripped, which players do all the fucking time?

I hope he's angry and then angry at himself because this is supposed to be his happily ever after. He's supposed to be happy. Why can't he just be fucking happy? Why can't he just hold Ilya's hand and kiss him in public? Why does that still feel like a death sentence? Why can't he get his brain to understand that he's free now?

And I hope we see Ilya loving him at his most bitter self, whispering reminders that he doesn't have to move on just yet. That he's spent a decade carefully controlling every single emotion and he's allowed to feel them now, even if they're not pretty.

Though of course, to Ilya, there's nothing more beautiful than a Shane Hollander who knows he's Shane Fucking Hollander and is livid at the world for forgetting that.

[raincitygirl76]

I want to see Shane fucking Hollander reminding everybody that just because he’s polite and media trained doesn’t mean he’s a pushover. He is arguably the best hockey player of his generation, and his team of eleven years and three cups turned on him in an instant. Fans who’d cheered him for a decade burned his jersey and sent death threats. His own best friend outed him out of pure carelessness. He became a scapegoat, and that trip will be the most important footnote in his entire career after he retires.

Shane always just wanted to play hockey. He didn’t want to talk about the racial barriers he was breaking, he didn’t want to talk about the homophobic barriers he was breaking. He just wanted to be known for his hockey. And now he’ll always be known as the gay Asian hockey player who married his rival and just possibly might have thrown a game for said rival. Mud sticks.

I want him to be angry. He has every right to be. And I desperately want Ilya to support him. Yeah, the Centaurs gave him a soft landing, but it still isn’t fair that he needed one. That his team, management, and fans of a decade turned on him the very first time he did something that didn’t fit the sexless hockey robot image they’d built in their heads.

That they got outed and couldn’t control the narrative because Hayden couldn’t take two minutes to play back that stupid birthday video before sending it to fucking Brad. Brad, who posted it to fucking Twitter like Shane kissing his fiancé was the next Watergate.

Get angry, Shane. You have every right to be.

[myshangel]

Ilya gets really bad migraines after a bad concussion and one day shane comes home and kisses his cheek and says "how's your head baby?" and ilya says "u have never complained 😈" and then he bursts into tears bc his head actually really fucking hurts

[myshangel]

and crucially shane makes him speak to a doctor and helps him list out medications to figure out which ones work best. he turns off the lights in the living room and buys new pillows to take some of the tension out of his neck at night. he looks into at home remedies and kisses him so gently and one day ilya is truly at the end of his rope about it and is all sorry you got a defective husband. and shane is so?? that's not funny asshole. I'm not laughing. I love you. I do this because I love you. because I want to. okay? i want to look after you. it's not a chore for me.

[ooppo]

Guards! Fuck each other witless against the floor. Her royal highness requires references for her yaoi drawings of the knights of the round table fandom