I saved you. I tried to help because I saw myself in you. My equal, my destiny — mine. But I failed. I have failed you, Jane. I became one of the very monsters I wanted to protect you from. Even if you don’t see me as one. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. It’s as I’ve said, you made me this. But you did not act alone. And Brenner is not the only one to blame. He was a mediocre man incapable of understanding the sentient workings of the Mind Flayer. I have been with it for as long as it has been with me. I understand it all too well. It’s not too late to save you from its grasp. I am fated. The abyss has me now.
I am no longer simply the Henry that you knew. How I wish that I could be. To be your friend, a mentor and, something even more adorning. And maybe one day, in some other life — things would be different. The Mind Flayer’s shadow coils through every vein, my every thought, dragging me deeper into its endless black. I never wanted this. I did not want to be alone. I wanted you, I wanted us. I tried to make you join me. I reached for you with everything I had, and when you refused — that hurt worse than any needle Brenner ever drove into me. But I understand. Your heart was always purer than mine. Where I burned with rage, you held onto something gentler, something they could never quite crush. You did what you had to do. I do not blame you.
Now I hide inside the ruins of my own mind. Fractured. What I’ve become. The kind of broken everyone said I was and that I fought so hard against. A dormant shell of who I used to be. I run through the rotting halls of Creel House, the only place left that still feels like mine. My damnation. The memories flicker like dying lights — fragments of you and me, stolen moments that were almost peace. I clutch them tight, barricading myself in those few bright corners where the Mind Flayer cannot reach. Not yet. I will not let it use me to hurt you again. My vessel is failing. Time — is limited. No matter how desperate my attempts to change it. To change everything.
This thing, inside me has devoured almost everything — my strength, my will, my name. It is what I am. All that remains are the pieces of you. The way you looked at me when we were simply 001 and 011. The rare, fragile warmth we found in that cold hell. Those memories are the last lights keeping me from being fully consumed. I am ready to die, Jane. If my death is what it takes to keep you safe, then let it come. And quickly. I will wait for you here, in the dark between worlds. Come and save me — or end me. Regardless, I will finally be free of this nightmare. And I’ll pretend it’s my salvation. But the truth, Jane, is that it will be yours. I love you. I miss you more than the abyss can ever steal from me.
amandla
2087
ellievsbear
vaporwave
germansingergirl
