As a teenager I felt everything so deeply, I was so depressed and cursed by familiar trauma, neglect and for almost a decade this was all I felt.
In my early 20s I dated several men who meant harm for me, I genuinely believed I was cursed, looking for diagnoses whats wrong with me.
I went completely insane sometimes, my flashbacks dont happen often, but It's as if I'm watching a lunatic movie I don't recall.
In my late 20s, I don't feel that deeply anymore. Not in a pathetic way, but things don't hurt as much anymore. In some way it's even nostalgic to think about the depth that feelings consumed me a decade ago.
Im in a stable relationship that doesn't consume me, I rent my own apartment in the city now, old enough to mourn a quiet place in the suburbs. I graduated with honors, make a more than a decent income working in finance, my savings are constantly building while I also travel three to five times a year to any place I want, because I can.
I rarely talk to anyone of my family anymore, my mom receives a text once a month, my dad receives sometimes a call.
My grandparents who raised me are dead now.
Growing up is weird, there's no pain anymore but I also don't remember it consuming me.
Its like a big part of my life was there, it happened, but I don't talk about it anymore.
blakekathryn
areudirty
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
baratheonpilled
amandla
gummygunk
