In the US the thumbs up means good job or great. In France and Germany it means one, they start counting with the thumb instead of the index finger. In Greece itâs an obscene sexual gesture.
This guy I knew in college worked with the campus d/Deaf/HoH group and told a story about the dinner they had to welcome everyone in. They were trying to tell this little old lady what one of the dishes was, something casserole I forget what kind, and she was getting really flustered. Finally they figured out they were speaking to her in ASL and she was from South Africa. The ASL sign for whatever it was (spinach maybe?) in South African Sign means sex. They were offering this little old lady a sex casserole.
Thereâs an Italian toast âchin chinâ, mimicking the sound of the glasses clinking together. It becomes hilarious when Japanese folks are around since in Japanese chin means penis.
As for the South, I will bet you anything that how we have conversations at the register stemmed from the homestead days when a farmer would come in to town maybe once a month and this would be the only time theyâd get to talk to someone they didnât live with. I like talking with customers! If I can get them to smile then itâs a victory and I have a better day for it. It only becomes emotional labor if theyâre an outright ass or are sexually harassing me. But in the big crammed city of New York it makes sense to take the get your shit and get out approach, people have a subway to catch. Out here I had to drive myself anyway since itâs fifteen minutes to the edge of town from where I live, so what does it matter if I spend an extra minute at the register?
Itâs important to be aware of the differences and ultimately thereâs a degree of âwhen in Romeâ that has to happen. Someone who moves from Greece to the US is going to be startled by the amount of thumbs up but ultimately theyâre going to have to adjust. Someone from the US is probably going to be shocked that telling someone they did a good job was taken as an insult and they similarly are going to have to adjust. Momâs a damn Yankee transplant and said it was weird moving to the South and having cashiers younger than her daughter call her dear, but thatâs just what we do. Sweetheart, darling, honey, sugar, they donât have overtly romantic/sexual connotations here. As long as thereâs not a leer attached to it if a guy calls me âsugarâ when Iâm at work it doesnât parse as a flirt because itâs not one, it parses the same as if he called me âmissâ. But when a busload of Californians came through it took me three people to realize that âbabyâ was not flirting, it was just California. NOTHING is universal.
This is the biggest place Iâve ever worked so it took some getting used to, like any skill, but even being socially awkward itâs easy to tell what scripts to follow. Test the waters, if they donât respond then okay this is a move them through kind of person, be quick and efficient and to the point, feel good when they smile at âlast question I promise, do you want your receiptâ. If they do then pull out the five small talk scripts, get a smile, feel good when they laugh at the cat small talk script.
Itâs also important to note that claiming your cultureâs way of doing polite right is a fantastic way to fall into some really bigoted nonsense. In Puerto Rico the personal bubble is much smaller than in the US proper, like RIGHT at your elbow close. I had a cashier who was super uncomfortable because our steward was getting in her personal space constantly and he was pissed off because he was trying to HELP her with moving orders why is she mad at him? Once I sat them down and explained the difference they both had this aw shit moment because from their own standpoints they were being polite and from the othersâ standpoints they were being rude. After that they were fine, when he got a little too close sheâd say âwhoa man my bubbleâ and heâd laugh and shake is head and step back.
Lots of non-white cultures have things like that, particularly since white America has serious problems with sexualizing ANY physical contact to the point weâre all touch starved. The normal speaking voice is at a higher volume or itâs more acceptable to show your emotions or gesture when you speak. None of this is WRONG, but when people star getting into âmy culture is the only right cultureâ then guess who comes out on top? It ainât the little guy.
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