[i-am-a-fish]

everytime I stay at a hotel I take a bite out of the soap bar to confuse the cleaning staff

[damaramegido]

hey op real quick what the Actual fuck

[transselkie]

Hey op you do realize that by actually biting a chunk of fucking soap you are in fact the one losing

[chickenfarmersan]

[maimed-devotion]

physically im in my bedroom but mentally im on an island in greece singing abba 

[killingmesmolz-blog]

Tagged by: @justgot-bamboozled

I’m over 5’5” // I wear glasses/contacts // I have blond hair // I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // I have one or more piercings // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball hats backwards

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // I am the mom friend// I live by a certain quote // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least three dogs

I play a sport // I can play an instrument  // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush // I have a best friend I have known for ten years // my parents are together // I have dated my best friend // I am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // I have (had) a long distance relationship  // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

Tagging: @phantom--zer0 + whoever wants to do it.

[irlsuccubus]

Who the fuck ripped this fat vape at silent hill I’m trying to find my dead wife

[chaoticgood-queer]

Me seeing any picture of Danny DeVito: fucking superb you funky little goblin

[pancakeke]

[mushysuggestion]

i want a summer romance like in the movies

[baszle]

some of yall need to go lie down on the forest floor and grow moss

[besnurched]

Hozier wrote this

[rapewhistled2013login-deactivat]

she said spank me and i slapped her with the word of the lord

[gsgdfsdfsdgfdg-deactivated20191]

gumball snaps and kills james charles

[sqooops]

what the fuck even is the internet in 2019 like how the fuck does the series of events needed for gumball to kill james charles in minecraft hunger games even happen

[jacquelineshyde]

[feistiest]

me: lmao who needs a partner i’m alone but i’m not lonely bitch, i live fine by my fucking self bitch! play that hailee steinfeld song!

me after watching a one (1) good rom-com:

[deakyswhitequeen]

My type you ask? Middle aged British men that could easily be my dad

[john-the-bassist]

British men that could easily be my grandfather

[goalofthecentury]

old town road is now legally a gay anthem

[punkjabi]

[papi-chulo-bucky]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[languageoclock]