“Yes! Lovely slab of- no, not slab? Piece? Piece of- oh jeez, steak?”
“Why the hell would I make you steak for breakfast?”
“Oh, so it’s not steak! Great! Not that I wouldn’t love it if you cooked me steak, just a little heavy for breakfast, but I digress! Of course it’s not steak. It’s looking like a fantastic... pile of- no, no, serving of beef... chicken... steak-“
“It’s scrambled eggs.”
“Oh. Oh! I love scrambled eggs. Especially when they’re... brown. And black.”
“Alright, you can stop. I know they look like shit.”
“Oh, thank god. I didn’t know how much longer I could go on.”
AU- No Quirks (solely because we need a reason for izuku having trouble opening a jar... it’s plot, baby)
“Can you open this jar for me, Kacchan?” Izuku asked, beaming.
Bakugo’s insides squirmed, knowing what was about to come. “Fuck no.”
“Come on, Kacchan! You’re so big and strong, I bet you could~”
“No, thanks.” Bakugo replied flatly. Though he tried to be nice more often (after finally realizing that his yelling and aggression probably wasn’t too healthy for him), he was still very tired of all the favors Izuku asked from him... and getting “rewarded” with a kiss.
He turned around to walk back to his room.
“Aw, please? I’ll-”
Bakugo whirled around. “Can you fucking stop? I don’t want to!” He erupted. “Ask someone else! Fuck.”
Izuku froze, and only Bakugo’s heavy breathing filled the silence. The sound of the clock ticked by, and scorching pools of shame gathered at the bottom of Bakugo’s stomach. He cringed at his outburst and opened his mouth to apologize but was cut off by Izuku.
“I wasn’t going to give you a kiss, Kacchan.” Izuku gave a strained, weak smile but Bakugo could see the hurt in his eyes and he hated it, hated every bit of it. “I just- just really need this jar open and you’re the only one at the dorms.”
Oh. Bakugo felt very stupid as he took the jar from Izuku and popped it open, wordlessly handing it back.
“Thanks.” Izuku muttered out, not even making eye contact with him. “Sorry about that. I won’t ask you again.”
And Bakugo wanted to scream that that’s not what this is about! But he only nodded helplessly and watched sadness cloud Izuku’s eyes. His heart ached and burned and seared a hole through his chest but he could only watch the green-haired boy slowly turn his back and trudge upstairs.
“Fuck-” Draco roughly shoved Harry off, feeling only slightly sorry when he heard the boy hit the floor with a loud thump.
“Hey!” Harry yelled, rubbing his head. “Isn’t this the part where I’m supposed to wake up sleepily and turn to you and then you say let’s stay like this for a while?”
Draco snorted. “Not when your drool is soaking the sofa cushion."
Harry groggily flipped him off. “Waking up next to you was genuinely, fucking horrifying."
“You can’t just- that’s not how you should have handled that!”
Bakugo scowled. He hated feeling lost, like he was missing a crucial piece of information. “You fucking called me, nerd, so I asked her if you could come and she agreed! What fucking else is there to do?”
“Kacchan, you needed to make it seem like you really didn’t want me there, like my call interrupted your date and that this stupid, ugly kid begged you to tag along and it was really annoying but if she didn’t mind could he just follow along for a second so you could finish whatever annoying business he wanted from you so that you could return back to the date!” Deku exclaimed exasperatedly.
Then, pausing a moment to think, he pursed his lips and tapped on his chin. “And... it would have helped if you had mentioned you think I smelled bad."
Bakugo froze. The first thought he had was how everything Deku had just spouted had been literal horseshit. The second was- “But you don’t fucking smell bad."
“Oh!“ Deku bit his lip and a scarlet blush spread to his ears, making Bakugo feel weird and fluttery inside. “Thank you, Kacchan. But still, it would have helped if you had said it anyway."
“I don’t. Fucking. Get it." Bakugo wanted to scream. “Why the fuck do I have to say all that shit?”
It infuriated him further to see Deku sigh, as if the little bastard just knew something Bakugo didn’t, and pat him on the arm, to which Bakugo jerked his entire body back, heart pounding. “Oh, Kacchan. Someday you’ll understand."
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